Wise words Venus, thank you. We are lucky to get another chance to do this. x

Wow is opening a pool sober ever different!!! You actually take note of things and remember things. It was actually a tough thing to do mentally more than anything today. I was beating myself up for having been such a careless person around an investment our family really saved hard for across two years before having it installed in the backyard. And I do have fond memories across the first two pool seasons we had, but again I started beating myself up that I'd somehow not truly enjoyed it or that I hadn't given my kids memories they'll grow up with. At least I hid my drinking from view and for that reason alone they wont have scarred memories of the pool when they are older. And not to condone it, but "luckily" perhaps is that when I was drinking I was a high-functioning alcoholic and not an abusive one in terms of verbal or physical or anything like that. Everything was well hidden from sight around the pool I suppose. Ugh.

Anyways, I guess now I have a real chance to shine this summer with them and Mrs. Dig and truly enjoy the pool.

SR hugs to everyone. All caught up again on my readings here.

Zzzzz...

It's a great plan, RAL! I'm thinking along the same lines. It's like I've been given this special chance. I want to use it wisely.
So glad you dumped the booze Erratic! That's a hard thing to do, but very smart.
I'm up late, just checking in before bed. Sweet dreams and good morning, too!

thanks for your replies x still feeling full of shite thie morn. nvm not going to repeat myself and moan.

have good day all x

Morning all

Waving to you Erratic from somewhere else in Scotland :) Can you get a walk or make a plan to do something you enjoy today or just take it easy?

Enjoy the pool Dig-it sounds fabulous :)

good night Karen I hope you get a good night's sleep.

Day 4 - it took me ages to fall asleep last night and I could have stayed in bed another hour or 2 but got up at 8am thinking my sleeping patterns will adjust better if I get into a good routine. Today I am catching up on some paperwork, doing the lawn and getting on with some painting.

Hope everyone has a good day/sleep.x

Well I went on a bender Monday to Wednesday

Day 2 now

Disappointed the Antabuse didn't work but I realized I can't depend on a pill to keep my sober
I gotta get to the meetings, maybe AA aswel asoas SMART . Or else it'll be another Monday starting with hand sanitizer and ending with a 3 day vodka binge

Welcome back FF

Thanks. I really hit rock bottom. I'm too embarrassed to share the details but it's a ******* miracle I didn't end up in a police cell or hospital. The gods were watching over me.

Please don't feel embarrassed - we've all been there. Put your energies into staying sober and don't look back. At least if you never drink again you never have to go through that again. Stay with us. The support here is fantastic :)

FF, If I was you I would really be considering looking at impatient treatment now. Drinking on antabuse and drinking hand sanitizer is really bottom of the barrel
stuff now. Take it from me, you're not going to get (m)any more chances at this now so you're going to really have to reevaluate what to do at this point.

Yeah but the treatment centres are closed. :/

Hopefully they should be opening in a few weeks, I have been talking to the CEO of my local one here. Do you think Treatment is an option for you?

Yeah I guess I could give it a shot. I'll see how the next few weeks go.

Well it has worked for me up to this point- you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it. There are several different options out
there if you don't have insurance, etc. It can seem like a hard process but trust me the time there can be very well spent if you can put it to use after.

Good morning all. Sending hugs to you Freedom. Make a plan and stick to it, and please don't give up.
Good morning RAL! You're plan for the day sounds a lot like mine.
I hope it's a great sober day for everyone. I'll be back in a while.

Hi FF

I would not simply be assuming that rehabs are closed right now - some may be. some may not - do some groundwork and hit the cyber bricks - get some info and telephone numbers.

You may find you've scared yourself enough not to need them - I would really like that to happen for you - but I wouldn't count on that - fear of getting sick on antabuse didn't stop you for long....

You've got a rampaging raging problem - you're not going to solve this in a half hearted genteel way FF.

Pull out all the stops.

D

Hi Dee, FF is right about the rehabs closed here at the moment. There is only one open in the whole country, I know this from talking to the CEO of my local one here. But as I said, there
is talk about reopening in the next few weeks at some rate so I would get the ball rolling and do a bit of research online still.

Thanks Reid.

If I was you FF I'd be leavng messages on answering machines.

Its not because I don't believe you can do this on your own but up to now, thats where you've fallen down.
There seems to be no buffer between the desire to drink and you grabbing whatever is close at hand.

At least rehab will force you to be sober, in a safe environment and it would hopefully teach you ways to build that buffer between the thought and the act.

Thats my opinion anyway.
If you can find another way to get sober and stay that way. I'll be your biggest supporter :)

D

Moan away sweetheart.....it's good to get it out. :hug: s
We are all here for you. :) ❤️❤️

I'm with you.....I also think that's the best way to get the sleeping pattern back in proper order. :)

I hope you are having a really good day.....sounds very ambitious. :) :hug: s ❤️