Encouragement and support vibes are wonderful :)
And sorry....I talk too much. :) :) :hug: s ❤️

I think it's reasonable to ask him not to drink around you until you are more comfortable with it love. :hug: s It's definitely fine to have the conversation....I can hear how solid you too are :) and I bet given the choice he would rather see you and not drink in front of you for a bit than not spend time with his love. :) :hug: s ❤️

Hi guys just checking in. Happy day to all!

Someone taught me something last week that was a big lightbulb moment for me.

I am like you, yet I couldn't work out how to stop this cycle. I know I need to stop listening to the thoughts that increase my frustration when things go wrong (which is often, cos life happens), but once I get frustrated impatience follows fast. And then I have to work on calming down. And it's not what I want.

The lightbulb moment was when I finally heard that the problem is the frustration itself. That is where I have a choice ~ MY behaviour. How I react. Choosing to react calmly and maturely means that I do not get impatient. Oh wow. Really? Yep.

It feels like an adult secret that I had missed out on knowing. :) :hug: s


....... :) :) Hi Joy!! :) :hug: ❤️

Don't be sorry....I love reading your posts. :hug: s
I am sure everyone does. :)

Gosh I felt exactly the same way as you and even drank the same way. It caused the same problems too....just not feeling or sleeping well, and creating issues in my relationships.

Fast forward through my 30s and at some stage I stopped bothering with boyfriends at all: my no 1 love became wine. So I worked (mostly) and came home and drank a bottle and a half every night and missed out on my life.

:hug: ❤️

Venus, that was me! I was getting close to the bottle and a half each night. I knew then it was over for me. No more drinking alcohol. I shall try the tip regarding frustration and mature responses.

I’m on my 24th sober day today. I’m in a general low mood as I get used to these new emotions and my own expectations re sobriety. I am having fun at work and have noticed my sense of humor is back.
Home is more difficult. My biggest trigger is the dinner hour. My H travels a lot and if I don’t need to make dinner I eat cereal or something quick. I have cooked but I keep it quick and simple.

Saturday we did go out to dinner and avoided sitting at the bar. We had a delicious meal and I had a Shirley Temple. The waitress asked jokingly if I wanted Vodka in it. I laughed and said no. I never drank hard liquor so it wasn’t a trigger. I am usually SO focused on the wine in front of me at a restaurant that I never really look around at other diners. I began to look around to see what folks were drinking. I noted that most diners seemed to make one glass of wine last through the meal. I would have likely been on my third glass then. Ugh. Embarrassing.

And actually, last year we were at this restaurant (it’s very tiny local place). H and I sat at the bar and ordered wine. The bartender is the friendly sort and was talking to us. I had a glass of white wine (always white wine). I drank it so freaking fast and she noticed and commented how fast I was. She asked if I wanted water. I didn’t. I just wanted another glass. That interaction has always stayed with me. I recall it in moments when I’m tempted to pour a glass, it’s a good tool to use among the others I use.

Have a lovely day, my friends of October. Much love, JSC

I would have been on my third bottle by the end of dinner, especially if we were both drinking. And the bartenders don't judge....unfortunately alcoholics are their livelihood. In my experience the good ones just keep an eye out and take away keys and call cabs for people who have had too much.

We judge ourselves. We condemn ourselves....but guess what? None of us are doing that anymore. We changed. We are winning a battle against a disease. :)

JulySeaCoast... my usual when going out to dinner has been one glass of wine per course. Of course you need champagne with the appetizer, red wine with the steak and port with dessert right? I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a wine connoisseur. Laughable. If drinking with others, maybe there'd be a bottle on the table, but honestly I usually preferred not -- especially in a bigger group -- because then, you have to worry about how much others are drinking and how much there is left. I remember that in Caroline Knapp's book Drinking: A Love Story she discusses how she always felt "grabby" around alcohol and I feel that way as well. Is there enough left in the bottle? Who else is drinking, how much are they drinking, will anyone notice or care if I order another?

My boyfriend usually finishes his glass of wine before I do and it's not because I'm more moderate, it's because he is. Finishing the glass isn't a big deal to him. To me, it is, because I can't stand for the glass to be empty. I need the comfort of seeing at least a few sips in it, at least until the waiter comes back and I can order another.

Ugh.

Thanks for all the support venuscat, it really helps. :)

Hello Octoberlings.
I hope you're all doing well. Everything seems in order on here. Had no sleep at all last night - didn't even drift off for a few minutes. So stayed up reading Jonathan Franzen - very good.
Just came back from doctor's and have to do my blood tests again as they don't make sense apparently. I don't know what's wrong with my blood - maybe it's not patriotic enough. My liver's okay though. I've got to hand it to my liver, but it can only do so much.
Though things are generally a bit rubbish I'm not at all miserable, even though I might look like someone whose smiling class has been cancelled.
I'm still in the game. Day 4 for me.
Best wishes all. Undrinkingly yours.

Struggling this evening. i really wanted to place an order for wine with my grocery delivery service. instead I placed an order for some treats like soda, cookies and milk, candy, and a few other things I needed. It'll all be here in the next couple hours. I feel like I'm going minute by minute right now but i'm determined not to drink.

I don't want to be back here tomorrow or the next day telling you guys how I screwed up again. I don't want to disappear into thin air and have everyone know that I probably went back out. I really want to succeed with this even though it is hard, so I'm going to stay here and keep posting. I have Breaking Bad on the TV (been rewatching) and my cat beside me and I'm going to make it.

Joining you, soberbythesea. OY. Cannot believe how much I want a glass or 5 of wine. Difficult evening. I am making dinner and nearly said eff it. I want wine.

Hold my hand sober, we will be strong together. We ain’t drinking tonight. NO WAY.

Thanks Dee, Vman & Venuscat,
Dee, I was curious as to what it is about a forum thread that stumps me lol It is probably just that I am using all my concentration for self care and there's nothing left over, which is exactly how it needs to be for the moment and probably a good sign. One of my life lessons is learning to put myself first.....so progress! Yay me! Yes Vman, it will get easier the longer we are sober for sure! You absolutely don't talk too much Venuscat, I love your posts, they give me warm fuzzies.

As for me I am immersing myself in healing my mind and my poor body through my spiritual practice & reading, tending my organic edible garden (i ate my first homegrown lettuce leaves the other day and cant tell you all how wonderful it was) and taking the time to enjoy the simple things in life (like the joeys poking their heads out of their mumma's pouches across the road from my house then seeing them grow big enough to wander and graze). I am recovering from extreme heartbreak but I am moving on from that and very grateful for my beautiful life. Enough gooey mush from me (for now at least). Thinking of you all, keep fighting the good fight :grouphug:

Awesome. Yep. No way :)

Just had some pizza. I'm continuing to watch TV and wait for my treats. Looking forward to some double chocolate cookies with milk soon.

I've had a rough go of it too soberbythesea...movies, snacks and small comforts help a bit, even if only minimally. I hope you find a way to find a little peace tonight.

I'm on day 8, getting little better day by day.

Hello all!
Been awhile since i posted in this class. I am now just starting my fourth week into sobriety, about 24 days now with NO alcohol in my system. I am so done with that poison. Today i got so much done and it feels great to do it sober!.... I no longer have to be intoxicated to get things done. I use to need a good buzz going to even get the simplest of tasks done around the house. Today was a great day! Since ive stopped drinking..... I'm starting to feel more normal i suppose. I went to the movies to see RAMBO with my daughter a few nights ago, I've been getting out a lot more. No more being a hermit, stuck in my room, depressed and drinking to numb everything and to not "feel" anything.

I stayed with my mom and brother for my first 3 weeks of getting sober. Last night was my first night home. I was so scared to come back here, to the place were drinking was an every night thing , the place were my mind was in a very dark place. I listen to music while i'm cleaning and cooking, i'm laughing more, my skin is more clear, my eyes are brighter. i'm awake all day instead of being awake all night getting drunk and sleeping my days away until the late afternoon and into the evening sometimes, as if i were a vampire. I'd only come out at night, i wouldn't socialize with anyone until i was buzzed or drunk.

I never thought i'd make it this far when i first admitted to myself that i am an alcoholic. It's amazing how life changes for the better when we let go of the drug , weather it be alcohol, benzos, heroine, anything that affects our mind and body in a negative way. I know i still have a long road ahead of me and i might have good days and bad days but thanks to my family and everyone here on SR, i have a fighting chance.... a chance to be reborn again. So for anyone here that thinks you can't do it, you can! One hour at a time! :VA018:

P.S ...I am loving Sober October!
https://i.postimg.cc/9f11wfT7/beginnings.jpg

I got your back JSC, way to tell that AV to eff it instead. I love hearing people using the phrase sober muscles. I always imagine those muscles being used to punch that voice in it's face, or prob more accurately, mouth. I was walking into the shop to get food one day and my AV said, not at all whispering, to get drinks too. From out of nowhere my conscience boomed profanities at it REALLY loudly. I was taken aback by this internal dialogue exchange feeling a little schitzo but quite pleased as for the first time went home with just my food. It sounds like your doing awesomely at keeping it all in check.

((((Hugs))))

Sorry I wasn't around earlier honey....had a 'me' day.....which is hard for me by the way but mega necessary occasionally....hope you are OK....well done and sending so much love. :hug: ❤️

Nope. We are not. No hangovers tomorrow. No guilt. Just peace. :) :hug: s ❤️

It really does help... the trick is convincing myself at the beginning of the night that that's a better choice than wine. Once I've decided not to drink and settled down with TV/cat/cookies/milk, those small comforts are a reminder that what I'm doing is self-care, which is actually kind of a big deal.

Congrats on day 8! That's huge. I hope to be back there soon :)

Venuscat good for you! I hope you had a restorative 'me' day :)