Just thought I'd pop by to say hi. Yesterday was day one for me.

Hi Bumble, Closer, Willow - glad to hear things are going well for you :)

How's things with you, Free? OK I hope! :)

Hi John, I hope you’re going ok?
Hi everyone else too, I hope everyone is going ok.
I just realised how long it is since I was on SR.
Too long...
And I derailed. Not in any horrible way, and nothing catastrophic has happened in my life (just ongoing sadness), but I remembered that I don’t like waking up feeling sick and tired.
That’s why I stopped drinking, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time. And sad. And anxious.
When I don’t drink, I still feel sad and tired, but I don’t feel sick. And I’m perhaps less anxious.
I think depression and sleeplessness are perhaps the underlying issue.
The reason I drank recently was because I felt like I’ve been sad for so long and I was so over feeling sad all the time. A friend was keen to drink with me and I caved (I’m not blaming my friend at all, it was my decision, made in a moment of weakness).
I try to put on a bright exterior in my life but inside I’m mostly always sad. The psychologist told my doctor that perhaps I should be on antidepressants, and I was prescribed some, but they made me feel really sick so I only took a couple and stopped. And I haven’t been back to the doctor since. I picked up a bottle instead. Not the greatest plan. So I’m going back to my doctor.
I had been logged out of SR, probably because I haven’t been on here for ages.
I was so used to being automatically logged in that I couldn’t remember my password.
But I’m back on here.
And on day 2. But this time I’m not counting days, I’m just not drinking.
And I need to work more somehow on tackling this depression that underpins my life. The black cloud that is constantly hovering.
Exercise, yoga, healthy eating, daily gratitude and outdoor activities are not enough. I think I need some more tools in my toolbox.

I'm glad you made it back Willow.

Addiction is so insidious it will slip into any crack in the armour - if you need any reminding of how hard it was for you to stop last time, re read your old posts.

I hate the way it spread through this thread like a wildfire. Its one relentless SOB.

I hope John and Free and everyone else will make their way back here too.

It can be beaten tho - it's not so tough without our co-operation :)

I don't know what the solutions are for your problems but I know that drinking is not the answer.

I'm glad you're seeing your doctor again :)

D

Thanks Dee, I really appreciate your ongoing support.
I have a few ideas about changes I need to make in my life, starting with a big declutter, and I think that’s a good place for me to start.
I recently got the Marie Kondo book about the art of tidying up and how it changes your life. I’m keen to get started :)

Good to hear from you Bumblebee :)

D

Hi Bumblebee :)
Yeah I reckon I’ve been self-medicating with alcohol for years. I stopped for over a year but hadn’t really addressed the underlying problems. So I really need to dig a bit deeper.
Have a great day, and I agree, find something to smile about :)

Well I made it through 2 pub dinners this weekend as the only person not drinking, a big family dinner last night and a smaller one tonight. Funnily I was quite tempted yesterday to have “just one”, but I recognised the old AV and refused to listen to it, and tonight I wasn’t tempted to drink at all :)

I'm glad Willow :)

D

Any Maysters lurking? Come and say hi :wavey:

HI Willow :wavey:

Sorry to hear you drank but glad that there were no disasters and that you're back on track, well done! :)

I'm doing ok thanks, just coming up to three weeks.

Hi Bumble and everyone else who reads this :)

Hi Bumblebee and John! :)

Nice to hear from you John. Three weeks is great! I’m on 10 days :)

Bumblebee it sounds like you have lots of activities coming up! I know what you mean about the weddings. I feel like that about most social occasions these days. I really don’t feel like going to them. I used to love the excuse to get drunk too. These days I try to avoid a lot of social activities, but when I have to go, I try to practice mindfulness with a sense of curiosity and kindness (a yoga thing I learned). Almost like a science experiment where I observe people and interact with them and try to spread some kindness somehow. It doesn’t always work, and I also tend to make an excuse to leave early if I can :)

Hi Everyone
I am still here as well. Heading into my second sober holiday season. Feels pretty darn good. Life sure has changed!

really glad to hear that gettingcloser :)

I didn't feel like going out much either...but then I realised I never really did - the attraction for me was always the 'licence to drink'.

Nowadays I got out when I want...and its usually with close friends and I get involved as much as I like or not.

I've noticed the subtle counting of, or looking at, other people drinking and what they're drinking doesn't happen anymore :)

D

Hi gettingcloser :)

Yeah I’ve realised I’m actually an introvert and prefer being at home, or small get togethers with close friends or family. I think the only reason I actually went out before was because of alcohol. Now I much prefer quiet times :)

Hi Bumblebee, you sound so busy! I hope you’re feeling better soon. Maybe you need some time out just for you. Like a massage or a pamper session, or even just a few hours in a hammock with a good book to relax.

I went to the Atherton tablelands for the weekend. It’s absolutely beautiful up there in the rainforest, very peaceful and a great place to recharge. To be honest I didn’t want to come home.... but it’s back to work again today.

I hope everyone is going ok :)

Hi all

I’m here


Day 1


Got to sneaking drinks....no surprise.


Afraid of the beast.


Glad to be here.


😍

Hi Free! Welcome back! I hear ya, it’s relentless isn’t it!
But at least we know it and we’re back here :)

welcome back Free :)

D

Thank you Willow, my friend.


Up restless.

Overcame strong urges last night during cooking-and during a stressful emotional time

Have a candle lit and shavasana music on.

Responsible for my own peace. Actively seeking it.

Wishing you all the same as well

A candle and savasana music sounds lovely and relaxing.
I think having alternative yummy refreshing non-alcoholic drinks ready on hand is really important to help keep the AV monster at bay.
It’s Wednesday morning here and I’m getting ready for a busy day working. Have a good day/night everyone:)

It's good to see you back here Free, it would seem that both of our drinking 'experiments' failed miserably. Not surprising really.

You, me, we, can all get back to where we were previously but it has to be a lesson learnt. Alcohol is our enemy, it will certainly damage us and may even try to kill us.

Best wishes to all, glad that the 'fallen' are still posting here :) and also those from May 18 that haven't fallen :)

Mine too, since slipping up and drinking, it’s even harder to resist the AV than before. Well maybe not harder than the early days, and the later days before I drank again. But somewhere in the middle I was doing ok. I think working on the underlying issues is key to maintaining sobriety. I’m still looking for the key. Because the claws of alcohol dig in deep and are dangerous alright, they don’t want to let go and will hurt us if we let it.

But we’re not alone and we can do it together. SR is a great support for me, and has been since I decided enough was enough back in May 2018. I had more than a year of sober days, and I will get there again, one day at a time, by remaining vigilant and working on the “stuff” that led me to drink in the first place.
Love and support to you all ❤️

Hey Free, Willow and John
I am glad you are still with us and posting. It is probably more important then ever now to stay close. The experiences that you are sharing are very important to me as well as, I am sure, many other readers. It reminds me that it is so not worth the first drink but also, even if I should dare attempt to drink again I can find my way back. You all have my full support and understanding.

Hi Gettingcloser, you’re so right!
It’s SO not worth the first drink.
Being and staying sober is SO much better :)

Great post Bumblebee! ❤️
It’s Sunday morning here and a beautiful sunny day, I’m off to the beach for a walk.
Have a lovely day everyone :)