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One Year & Over Part 67 |
Thanks Dee! |
Thanks Dee! |
Morning Overs:wavey: I’m feeling very thoughtful after our last few posts. It always amazes me how we are all so different, but then again so alike. That we have choices to decide which roads to take (just smiling to myself now from a sentence I read from Dee, I was on the wrong side of town for twenty years) I love that saying! The thing is, we all went to the wrong side of town, but fortunately our roads led us here to the sober road. I had booze and religion rammed at me all my childhood days so though I had thoughts of becoming a nun, to run away from it all, from life, not because I was religious, but to escape the mayhem all around me. But I took the easy train and got a taste for booze. It made everything go away, all the hurt and unhappiness, I was on top of the world, with a drink in my hand, as long as it was full! Though I managed to hold up my jobs, be a responsible manager of a petrol station for a petrol company and other jobs through my life, I was always on the edge, and what helped me (or so I thought!)was alcohol, that seemed to make me happy, yeah I tried therapists, hypnotherapists, etc, but my emotions were so raw and childlike, I left them locked up. Only truly, when I became sober and all my props were gone, I learned to live, it took a while. I even put them to the back shelf for a while to help others, my way of dealing with life, I guess, it’s something I’ve always done. But slowly I became me, I never really knew who me is because I was always putting on an act as a child ( terrified of a drunk father and a controlling mother), then added drunkenness as an adult. I’m still not sure if I like me really, but I prefer me sober. So being honest and sober, hopefully I’m allowed to say this Dee, that I feel there’s an higher power, I don’t know what, there are so many religions, so it’s confusing which is right. Politics, it seems to me, are overbearing people in control, power happy, caring for the rich but not the workers. My husband can read between the lines, I cannot. So there is no trust from me of people who run the country. That’s as much as I know, but I respect everyone’s beliefs, as I imagine we all do. I’m happy here in SR, I’ve broadened my scope and visit other threads and see how good and kind and full of compassion you all are. We help each other through good and rough times we meet on this path full of surprises. We’ve come far and we share our sobriety, we understand, we know and we’ve the scars to prove it. I Care about you all, sending my love to all of you. :grouphug: |
Thanks PJ, I agree, we should all be so lucky to end at peace, in our right mind, just drifting off to sleep while waiting for a cuppa with our lifelong love by our side caring for us. I think the med schools donation is a good idea. And your labor to turn the picture's tone around from dark to light is a good way to work things out in your mind through your mind/body. "When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change." Wayne Dyer You're doing that in reverse by changing the things you look at, to change the way you look at things. Dynamic. You said: "For what ever reason, I find most of the narrative to be unproductive- going around in a flat holding pattern without growth. I do know some find meetings to be their place of safety- and will probably not grow- but will stay sober, and be content. I respect these guys and enjoy the meets...but" I just did one meeting a week after joining here. I had a nice little home group and found the same thing - I respect the folks who find them a place of safety too. But I was past that stage and was only dealing with PAWS not cravings. You need to meet the world head on, me too. Thank you PJ, you are becoming a force of nature in your recovery. Great good luck on your upcoming surgery and renovating the soul of your art. And by extension your own. Yes, I am very glad to have done with house hunting. I was fortunate to have found a friend and real help in my realtor. We've been talking for two years, first waiting on my cervical and lumbar surgeries, then that recovery, and then the eye surgeries and follow on repairs that were finally satisfactory. Then doing the estate succession which took half a year, and then waiting for winter and better prices. He hung in there the whole time. Then after spending a couple of weeks in a car together we both found we were friends, good friends, and began planning some dinners together with his wife. So we have our first close friends there. And we've really talked a lot. He wanted stories so I told him tales from around the world, under the sea, and from jumping off mountains to carve their blankets of snow. His stories of his and his wife's chronic treatable cancers were amazing. As were their travels and strange encounters. What a cornucopia life is when we truly listen because we were listened to. :You_Rock_ |
Itchy, that’s really nice and heartwarming. |
Mags, I think half the support here is seeing the growth in the others, who project a health and caring that becomes such a comfort. I never sense an agenda from most folks here and Mags you're trusted for me. We can agree to disagree or always agree but no peer pressure driving it. Thank you for adding to my sobriety Mags. |
Oops Mags we're crossing posts! Yours too! |
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Its a good film :) D |
Good morning Overs. Some great posts on here. Have a good day everyone. |
Wonderful post Mags, I think you have over come so much and through reading your posts, I know you are a lovely person, one I would like to spend time with if we ever met f2f. How are your Kitties doing btw? Talking of Kitties, how is SassieKitty? Is she still in Elizabethan mode or fully recovered now? Peej, I know you will be fine in hospital, I know you have many, many unpleasant memories of hospital, I also know you have the strength and forbearance to manage a week stay. I truly hope the op will be a massive success. Itchy my condolences, sounds like a good life well lived. FBL, I'm so glad we don't have to cover the costs of our health care the way you guys do, though I guess we do it all in taxes! I'm just glad they were able to save your vision in the eye. It's a beautiful sunny day here on the east coast of Scotland and we are hoping to get a game of golf in at St Andrews ( or a smaller course nearby where we used to be members) Happy Saturday all! |
Thanks toots! f2f would be nice too, one day :) My cats are great thanks, full of life and playfulness, such a joy. :) |
The film looks powerful, Itch..will chase it up. thanks to all for the support |
1 Attachment(s) a long ways until I will finish....the angry words- layered with crimson reds- to seeking acceptance of my history- fused with what I am becoming... |
Great post Mags! Have a great day all! |
PJ, good bold colours. Thanks Star |
PJ, you have made so many changes since I’ve known you. You have a very generous helping of courage and desire to change your life. I believe in you! I especially appreciate the very lovely posts today! Have a wonderful day, Overs! |
Good afternoon Overs! Dee, It was excellent! It also reminded me very much of my early days of sobriety in the first six months as things jumbled apart, then coalesced, then jumbled apart in a slowing cycle until my PAWS was over and I could grasp where I had been. The director doesn't follow the linear, instead tracking back and forth like we do in recovery. I really connected with his loss of his closest support friends, leaving him able because of them, but sadly vulnerable knowing they are no longer at the other end of the phone - their line is no longer in service. PJ, do let me know what you think when you see it. That it was a true story taken from his life made it poignant as a recovery film in every way. Here's his Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Callahan_(cartoonist) Many find his art offensive. I find it hilarious through the filter that he can laugh at himself. Here is a YouTube 20 minute doc he made about his life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c8fj3pfmDo Amazing I never heard of him until now. Definitely not beyond the bounds of my warped sense of humor. We can all relate to his struggles before sobriety became his obvious solution. Funny how that is so clear in hindsight. He died the same year I sobered up, 2010. Toots, It was thanks. We are the only first world country without socialized medicine. Canada to our north included. Our wealthy, who got the most from our country, refuse to pay any taxes. Oh well. But I'm glad FBL was able to pull it together. PJ, Looking good so far. We had freezing weather last week and this week have had two days of 75 and 77% humidity! We have to use the AC just to breathe. Earlier today there were tornadoes just north of us that did a lot of damage. Poured rain for ten minutes that hid the street from view. We are working in the workshop today to sort the few tools and equipment we are taking with us from the bulk that we are leaving. Getting there faster now. Calling the movers the end of next week. |
Hey overs! I hit a year mid last month and I wanted to drop in on all of you and say hello and I hope all is well. I am excited to have made a whole year after trying for so long. Hope you're all well. ♥♥♥ |
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