Good morning Overs!

Have a great day! ♥♥♥

Hi back atcha' Overs,
We're trying to get the vehicles ready to sell and replace them with all Subaru 4wheel drive(AWD) and my truck decided its power steering pump was dying and another pressure system control died with it. $1100.00 BUCKS!! Last summer the lift pump, injection pump, and all the injectors had to be replaced because I ran the diesel too long after the lift pump failed. $6k! I wish it were 4WD because I'd keep it now, since my other diesels never had but one lift pump fail. Shoot! I had to fix it to sell it.:headbange

FG,
I am glad your partner's mom is getting better and has so much help getting well.
OMG! 40 years of sobriety! I am proud for them and don't even know them, like FBL's dad who had a lifetime of sobriety when he died. They will treasure those coins!
I'll send great good thoughts your way that your job does go permanent.
I felt the same way about "The Martian" - Great film.
You wrote: "I aspire to be as gracious and lovely as she is, for sure." With all you do for others, it sounds like you are.

Hey Wolf!
Good to see you hangin in there.

Thanks Mags, Toots & Itchy! Had a bit of a rough day today - work is taking up tons of my time, and it could be a very long day tomorrow, I reckon.

My partner's mother got a bit upset today over a seemingly trivial matter (we changed her bed-linen yesterday and somehow messed up her pillows a bit - she got a bit confused about this, thinking we had somehow brought more pillows to her house), but this is no doubt due, in part, to the opiate painkillers she is on (morphine) .... but my partner has been feeling very down this evening as a result (he spends a bit of time every day with her at the moment). I sent his mum a little text to apologise for not having thought to say to her about the pillows when we left her house yesterday and hope this has helped her a little bit.

My partner is feeling somewhat anxious about his own ageing self - he says he is dreading getting older, particularly as he is seeing what his mother is going through. I said to him that, awful as it was for me having both my parents die far too young (aged 49 and aged 60), I never had the privilege of helping them in their old age, and so never had the difficult decisions to make in this regard, if you know what I mean.

Having said all that, though, it is only with sobriety that both myself and my partner have escaped, for today anyway, 'death or insanity' from the disease of alcoholism.

However, tomorrow is another day and, like with sobriety, ODAAT hopefully it will get better :)

prayers and support to you and your family, fg

Good morning Overs.

Chris was very worried about getting alzheimer's and incapacitating strokes.

Have a good day everyone.

Andy it's things like that that scare me too! Watching my dads mental and physical deterioration just now and seeing my mum stoically coping (just) is very hard.but it's loads harder being at home so far away not being able to help. And just listening to the fatigue in her voice on the phone. The family has been phenomenal pulling together to support them and to get addition support in place.

Andy, scares me too!

Morning Overs

Have a good Tuesday :)

FG, sending lots of hugs :hug: I don’t see any downsides to being sober.

Taking care of aging parents is a big challenge. I helped my parents - one lived to 93, the other to 90. Dealing with our realization that the same or worse could happen to us is scary. Now that I am into these later years, I am finding that living in a full service retirement community helps a great deal with my peace of mind. As my memory is less sharp, it’s easier to deal with because I see it around me. I know I will be well taken care of when I fail mentally and/or physically.

Itchy, sorry to hear about the vehicle. Why is it that unexpected expenses (and tasks) always seem to pop up when we least want them!

FBL, sending hugs for getting through this rough time with your eyes!

Have a good Tuesday. :grouphug:

FG,
Sending lots of hugs too.

Scares me too guys!
We just got through taking care of both her parents and her mom went first and had a year of suffering. Before she went she had a talk with us about my FIL with us and it turns out she was covering for his dementia for at least a year. All she asked of us was to let him keep his dignity. He was very bad and we had to take control ealrier than we thought taking away his keys and guns, then getting home hospice for him as we did for her. Both were tough but not from bad behavior. The hallucinations and delusions were very weird. He died within a year of my MIL and went downhill mentally fast, and physically was lucid more often then not until his last week when he was sedated out of pain and feedings.

I am moving to Colorado for more than just the dry air. CBD pain pills and edibles are legal there without a prescription. Physician assisted suicide is also legal there. I have been taking Naproxin for the last 16 years (Alleve) 500 mg twice a day for 16 years. I just found out it can harm memory so I want to avoid self induced dementia, as well as stop bruising so easily as all NSAIDs seem to do. because they thin our blood. If I got a definitive Dx of Alzheimer's I would opt out. I will not drink alcohol even then. But no opioids, no physically addictive substances go in me. I would invite all my friends to visit by such and such a date and then check out. I value every minute of this life. But I can avoid going through what we have seen in two family members, her granny who lived with us in our home through the last five years of total dementia. And recently my FIL.

Toots,
I remember your tribulations with your dad Toots.

Sassy,
Your situation is ideal for you. I am glad you are a happy camper! And here to share your friendship, perspectives, and experience. Yeppers! The proverbial excrement does hit the rotating surfaces just when it is least needed. On the other hand, I have five more fingers!

Gotta go support family at the visitation.

Posted elsewhere also...

The verdict against Pell this morning leaves me feeling sad- and accepting of the fact there are many areas of damage in my life which will not see closure or even the ability to once and for all- let go. I am a fusion of what I was, the trauma I experienced and the person I am now...to which would not be, given the past. I have had a lot of feelings of fear- flashbacks of how truly unwell I was- especially in the knowledge a week in the burns unit for more hand surgery is happening soon (to be advised).

The ribbon a red/black depicts this.

I painted over all of the words of despair and fear ( like 'god left me my voice- so I could scream').

The blue and green 'swirls' are the natural progression of life...as it should be.
The violent red/black is self evident on it's meaning.

I have been changing the canvas since my introduction to ACT- values based psychology. I cannot just go around the trauma, it is part of me- as I see every day in my scars.

I am that I am- more accepting I have a long path ahead in facing challenging and putting the past to rest. Some things from the past may always haunt me- but I am learning to keep going, despite of this..to face the true horror (as I see it) of burns, near death from self neglect malnourishment, abuse and all the other things as well.

Not to distract- but face the emotions- and work on being the best I can this moment, regardless. As I, this canvas is not finished- not yet.

But I am getting on with life- and no longer have the fear I did once.

Thank you for sharing that, PJ. Very much, a lot to think about.

Beautiful canvas, finished or not...♥♥♥

Morning Overs:wave:

PJ, powerful words, the positive is you’re sober through all this. :hug:

Itchy, my friends’ sister has terrible hallucinations, she has dementia, it’s worrying as she lives alone at the moment, has security alerts on all doors which send alerts to a security help line. I’m not sure how long she will be able to live alone though, sadly. She’s strongly independent, or was.

I watched one of the TED talks on dementia and it was very interesting. We can, it said, slow down or prevent dementia and they had carried out tests on a group of nuns over 20 years. Very interesting.

It’s blowing a gale here, well all the U.K. I believe. Had a struggle putting out wheelie bin and recycle boxes this morning. The recycle box blew over with glass bottles and jars in it. So pleased I don’t drink and the pavement strewn with wine bottles! :lol: (hubby would put them out for me but he does it the night before and me being weird, I don’t like to put rubbish out until the early morning.:lmao)

Anyway, have a good Wednesday my friends :grouphug:

Good morning Overs.

Let's not forget that with better health care, some of us are achieving greater old age and enjoying it.

Have a good day everyone.

PJ,
Verdict against Pell???
Excellent post bud!

Burial in the morning. Funerals are reunions too. Folks coming in from all over who I haven't seen in 20 years. No real relationships; just grown ups who were little kids the last time I'd seen them. I wasn't close with this side of her family, as she wasn't either.

Well gotta go.

Nite all.

PJ :hug: A number of years ago I realized that I am who I am because of what I have been through not in spite of. For me that perspective feels reassuring somehow and much more positive than being sad about the past. It didn’t come easily.

Itchy, unfortunately my state does not have assisted suicide as many don’t. Even where it does exist, there can be many restrictions. That method would be my preference but I am seeing the practical difficulties for someone in my situation (no one to help).

Have a lovely Wednesday, Overs!

This is beautifully said Saskia! I am who I am because I survived addiction to this point, not in spite of it. It plays a huge part in my thinking and outlook on life each and every day.

PJ, it is amazing the raw emotions that you convey through your art. It is wonderful that you have an outlet like that to help you on your healing journey.

My state does not have assisted suicide either, unfortunately. I feel death with dignity is a concept that should be discussed more openly. My parents have in their will that they do not want to be kept alive by machines. It's about as far as you can go in my state to address dying with dignity.

Colorado is becoming the new California of yesterday with its open minded views on social issues. Back in the day, all new ideas seemed to come out of California, but that time has seemed to have passed. Itchy, I know little of Colorado, but I wonder if there is still a strong minority of western cowboy types who live far to the right and oppose the initiatives that the state has seen recently. Is the state divided by the culture wars? It might be a microcosm of what will happen nationally in the coming decades.

Have a good day all!

Hanging in there Itch ? You know I'm awesome lol best wishes in Colorado sorry just a pop in

Wolf,
We're twin sons of different mothers, you know that right?

Sassy,
Well said and I have always agreed with that. I came from the bottom and made it to the top with the help of a lot of mentors and friends along the way.

I have a problem whenever folks try to force their religious beliefs on others. Here in the US we put separation of church and state in the constitution:
The folks claiming persecution can be answered in one picture:

https://i.imgur.com/nsyqHzRl.jpg

The restriction on many things are unconstitutional here in the US as they are based on religious prohibitions and many don't even look at the origins. Assisted suicide is one of those.

Star,
Totally agree with you on PJ's art.

We have had Living Wills in addition to Last Wills and Testaments. We also have a DNR clause (Do Not Resuscitate) for both of us. I feel those are important so that one family member cannot blame another for pulling the plug, or feel guilty for doing so.

Colorado Springs and Denver are always in the top for retirement, especially for military retirees like me. https://www.westword.com/news/why-co...rement-8699018

This about military retiree benefits which we are.
Excerpt:

"Colorado Veteran Financial Benefits
Property Tax Exemption

There is a Property Tax Exemption for 50% of the first $200,000 of a home's value for 100% permanently and totally disabled service-connected veterans. If you are receiving 100% disability solely as a result of an individual unemployability rating you do not qualify.
Income Tax On Active Duty Pay

Active duty military pay is tax-free if stationed and spend at least 305 days OCONUS. Spouse can be exempt too if they meet same requirements.
Income Tax On Retired Military Pay

Military retirees ages 55 - 64 can exclude up to $20,000 retired military pay from their taxable income, those 65 and over can exclude up to $24,000."
Source: https://www.military.com/benefits/ve...-benefits.html

Colorado has its share of cowboy and military retired types. However the military types have been all over the world and seen that there is more than one way to skin a cat. We've lived in different cultures each of which thinks they are superior to others and before long we realize we did the same. So there are many of us like me that have open minds, although not so open our brains fall out.
I think the best way to describe Colorado is that the real conservatives see all the money made by the drug dealers and that the state could benefit from those revenues if taxed. Marijuana is not only not physically addictive but a good pain killer without the need to get high by fractioning out the non-euphoric CBD component away from the THC. So a pain killer with no addiction issues. I am not promoting MJ, but am going to try CBD in edibles only as I have no desire to get stoned or high, or smoke anything. I quit smoking three packs a day at the same time I quit drinking alcohol. You see. in my book, having alcohol legal yet being able to choose to say no is a lot more credible and ethical in my book. There is no moral strength used in abstaining from anything that is not available. I prefer to make up my own mind.

Life is good, better sober, and I intend to get a "Rocky Mountain High!"

"He climbed cathedral mountains, he saw silver clouds below
He saw everything as far as you can see
And they say that he got crazy once and he tried to touch the sun
And he lost a friend but kept his memory

Now he walks in quiet solitude the forest and the streams
Seeking grace in every step he takes
His sight has turned inside himself to try and understand
The serenity of a clear blue mountain lake"

Great post Itchy!

Have a good day all!

Good morning Overs.

Have a good day everyone.