Sorry to hear this, Murrill, but it does sound as if you are determined to learn from it, which is very positive. I find food planning is vital. Always making sure I have plenty of suitable foods in the fridge and cupboard for me.

I agree that Abstinence with Food Addiction is far less clear than with alcohol. Everyone has a slightly different version of it as our bodies vary so much.

Checking in. Grateful to say I feel so much better today. Back in balance.

Just had a stabilising breakfast. Eggs cooked in butter with melted cheese. Gives my body a solid grounding to set me up for the day. Yoga shortly, then errands.

Have a good day everyone.

HI Murrill- I'm sorry about your slip with the ice cream sandwiches. I can relate to that feeling of it not even being worth it as I've felt that many times.

Once of the benefits of OA (and specifically A Vision for You) is that you get a text chat for members where you can reach out as soon as you start to feel restless, irritable or discontent. My sponsor has taught me to reach out before these feelings build up and turn into a binge or even a "slip." I used it several times last week and it turned my feelings around immediately even though I had one day when I had to make 2 phone calls.

Still, to know there are people out there who can relate and who can lend their support on the phone is just amazing. Are you open to something like that?

As for counting days, I can understand how it feels overwhelming or triggering. I don't like it either. But just like when I got sober, it keeps me accountable. I don't want to start over! I also know what happens in my body when I eat sugar- it takes me days to detox and get rid of cravings and for me that part just isn't worth it.

Having said that, go easy on yourself especially these next few days. You didn't binge, you stopped after 2 desserts and I think that is pretty great! And then you came here and talked about it which is also great.

I am wishing you ease with yourself and some peaceful days ahead.:grouphug:

Here for 24 more hours of abstinence from flour and sugar and compulsive overeating. It's day 11 for me and I am loving my step work so far (I have done steps 1 and 2.)

Last week was intense- lots of emotions and for the first time my husband and I were really close to separating- we were looking at apartments and talking about logistics. But this morning I hugged him and we cried and decided to try one last time.

I want to write more but I need to get ready for work. Wishing you all a good week ahead..

Hi all.. I am in and its Monday March 4th 2019
the sun came up over the lake it was a beautiful day on the city..
yep positive What Wolf do you feed.. love to you all and hopes for
a better tomorrow.. ardy

Hey Ardy! I love what you wrote about the wolf- I listen to a podcast where the host asks what wolf we will feed at the beginning of each recording.
I'm going to feed the happy, peaceful and abstinent wolf today!!
Have a great Tuesday...:grouphug:

Day 12- so close to 2 weeks!
It's amazing how my cravings have declined even further since dropping the stevia and all sweeteners. No diet sodas, no stevia in my coffee. Coffee with almond milk is actually pretty good!

Feeling much better about life and my marriage- things are going to be OK.

Wishing you all a calm day of abstinence.

Checking in for a peaceful day of eating.

Love that PW.....me too. :hug: s

I finally got antibiotics: I have had a chest infection for months as well as another one, and I had no idea how totally debilitating it all was....I was in pain every day and feeling so poorly....and now I have my pep back. My body doesn't hurt and I am benefiting from much healthier eating again.

It feels good. :)

:grouphug:

Hola. I've been lurking but not posting. Today makes two weeks avoiding unhealthy foods, and I've dropped almost five pounds. It would feel good if not for being sick, so my appetite isn't huge, but hey, whatever works! Lol. So, if you want to reduce your appetite, maybe try going to the grocery store and licking cart handles. Oh, nasty. No, don't do that. I didn't do that, and I got sick anyway. Maybe just go to your local elementary school and volunteer to read to snot-nosed kids. :headbang:

lmao zero..... :hug:
And yey on the healthier eating and benefits! :)

Bloody supermarkets....you need to wear gloves to protect yourself from the germs....but my favourite is the delivery people with phones you have to sign (as in put in your signature) by hand.....I do this at least twice a week and forget to wash my hands with the perfectly lovely antibacterial soap I have in three rooms.

I hate germs. :)

:grouphug:

I'm a lumbering cesspool of germy heinous rudeness. I stink wrong. I think it's time for antibiotics.

4 days since any sugar to speak of. The coffee front is doing ok. Still down overall. I feel like I've struck a new balance with that. Soon I'd like to get it down to just one cup.

Took some Valerian and melatonin last night. I think it helped with sleep. Going to give it a try for a little while and see how it goes. I'd love so very much to get back to the 8 hours a night I took for granted.

I need 8 hours too.....every night, and it took a while to work out in new surroundings, but now it is magic again. So I hear you dear WaterOx. :hug:
One of the things you can do to raise your body's natural melatonin before bed is to wash your feet in warm/hot water....just a little foot bucket....I still don't have one here....hmm....it is awesome.

I have an Australian OTC sleep remedy with some Valerian and other stuff in it: I take it occasionally and it works beautifully for me.

And (((zero))) hope yo get the anti-bs....I know that feeling too, and I am very glad that my gooky stuff is all healing. :) :hug:

Wow really? I tell you I have not slept well in over a year.............10 years if you count the drinking. How long do you remember it taking, Venus? Some people talk about a mere week or two of insomnia. I envy them. So far, there is no end in sight.

I like what I'm seeing so far from these supplements. Going to keep at it for a bit.

And lastly, I just finished a pint of Ben & Jerrys. Overall I'm not doing as bad as I was last quit, but I have to be careful or else this is going to creep back up on me.

I am on the mend after three doses of antibiotics. Apparently, it was needed. I was having trouble breathing and the doc wanted me to go to the ER, but I declined. I roll like that.

I use valerian as needed. I think at one point I was building up a tolerance and it became ineffective. I have a rule: If I lie awake for more than half an hour I'll take it, but that doesn't happen much for me anymore, maybe once every week or two.

I ran out of melatonin and never bought more because valerian does the trick. I think meditation has helped me redirect the mind away from hamster wheeling thoughts. I lie in bed and place attention on my slow breathing to interrupt racing thoughts. It's a practice. Mind wanders. Back to the breath. Mind wanders. Back to the breath... Meditation to sleep rather than awake.

Strange. For the first time in my life I feel like I'm almost sleeping too much, but I've needed it due to illness. It's not unusual for me to crash at 8:30 P.M. and not get up until almost 6:00 A.M. I do get up once or thrice depending on liquid intake, but usually crash again pretty quick. Not always. I can get the 4:00 A.M. can't fall back to sleep, but when that happens I just get up and do yoga and meditate. 8:20 here. Past my bedtime. I'm delirious and rambling. Lol.

But melatonin gives me freaky dreams, which I kind of like. My dream world is wild in recent months. Not sure why. Processing lots of trauma, and others' trauma... People tell me stuff. It just happens. Nightmares are not so upsetting anymore, even the really disturbing ones. I may awake disturbed, but can usually tell myself it's just the mind at play, and it doesn't take long to be at peace again. I accept that my mind goes to some pretty seriously dark and bizarre places. The nightmares haven't gone away; I just don't think of them as nightmares these days.

And sugar. The grainy crack from hell. I'm over two weeks clean and losing strong cravings. I have enjoyed some honey with lemon ginger tea. Awesome. But certainly not overdoing it. I've found that brown rice makes for good comfort food. Bulky and satisfying without the evil.

Hope all are well. Ben and Jerry are dope dealers.

Love.....that is the reason you are not sleeping......the ice cream. Especially if it is in the evening....just my opinion, but a strong one. :) :hug:

Um.....no insomnia at all after I stopped drinking. Sorry....I know that's annoying, but not eating for 3 hours before bed is a big key. And a good wind down routine before bed. :hug:

Oh how I love this.....love your entire post Zero. Love you. :)

I roll like you do....all the way.....kindred spirits I think.... :)

Except for the melatonin.....no way, not for me, I am a HUGE dreamer and it takes me on a trip to the freaky sideshow mirrors and scary clowns.... no no no. :)

:grouphug:

And where are the Sunnys and PW and murrill..... xx

Good morning!
Speaking of sleep: For about 2.5 years I have been taking Wellbutrin & Buspar to treat anxiety/depression. I have also slept about 12 hours daily, which significantly interferes with my quality of life. I stopped taking Buspar one week ago, but I added 3mg of melatonin. I now sleep about 8 hours at night, and it isn't such a hard sleep (the kind where I feel like I was hit by a truck during the night). I still need my afternoon nap, and any extra activity saps my energy. I've also awakened during the night a few times. Still, this is better than what it was before.
I took my first POUND class this week. It is a mixture of aerobic, yoga-inspired, lunges & squats, etc. all done while banging with weighted sticks. Here's a look: https://poundfit.com Cannot remember the last time I was so sore through my hips! I liked it, though. Also continuing with my beginner's yoga series. I've practiced yoga throughout the years, but this approach is different. The teacher starts with breathing and preparing for later transition into asanas. We are "preparing". Keeping an open mind.
Food: Less structure and planning have thrown me off a bit. Some meals have been too "snacky." I'm planning for the week right now, but the truth is that I am bored--especially with my snacks. Hummus with vegetable dippers, yogurt with frozen berries, edamame...all good, but I get tired of them. I cannot keep things like cheese and nut butters in the house because I will surely binge. Any new ideas will be appreciated.
Getting ready for another yoga class this morning. This one is the regular "ya'll join in and follow along" type. Trying to add variety.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!

How about adding dates and celery as another snack perhaps.... :hug:

That class sounds awesome....well, I have seen videos and I really like the vibe and the noise which is so odd considering I usually can't handle noise. I think there is something magic in it....this type of class....staying tuned to see if you like it. :hug:

Yes, celery is a good one and I usually keep it on hand. I like the crunch. I have it with hummus, or sometimes I buy a single serving almond butter packet. I love dates, but dried fruits are high in sugar.
Like you, I have trouble with noise (sensory sensitivity), but I liked this class. Some of the older ladies did not like it & left. I am 60 and could handle it. As one of the participants said, "I don't hate this."

Making a grocery list. Jambalaya, Thai chicken with a salad, maybe grilled salmon...It is a work in progress.

Of course....forgot about the sugar. :hug:

The truth is I like celery with philly cheese, but I don't know if that is an ok food for you...

Grocery list here as well, nowhere near as sophisticated as yours.

Interesting to hear how folks plan. My approach is simple, and works more often than not. I don't make lists unless there are items I don't want to forget. When I grocery shop:

Step 1: Head for the produce and buy what's on sale, and mostly vegetables, some fruit.
Step 2: Cruise the outskirts for eggs and lean meat bargains (fish, poultry mostly). Sometimes plain yogurt, but I'm not big on dairy.
Step 3: Only head down aisles of package foods if I'm looking for something specific, like raw nuts, olive oil, vinegar...
Step 4: Like Murrill hinted - just don't buy quantities of binge foods, and only single servings of anything I shouldn't be buying at all. Har.

Meal planning amounts to taking some meat out of the freezer the night before, and then looking at the produce in the fridge and deciding what most needs to be eaten, then decide how to cook it or if I'll eat it raw.

My pattern lately is:
Breakfast - either a third of a cup of oatmeal with raw pecans and a little fruit, or eggs with some veggies.
Lunch - almost always a salad with nuts and seeds.
Dinner - whatever meat is defrosted with the veggies that need to be eaten. Soup if the veggies have gotten tired.

Snacks are usually raw nuts/seeds, maybe with an apple. I think my favorite desert these days is a bed of raw pecans with a few chunks of frozen mango on top. Or blueberries.

I eat a lot of raw nuts because I'm not a big meat eater and need the protein.

I should add that I have a disgusting morning ritual. I have created a concoction - the dry ingredients are premixed in a container in the fridge, and that mixed is stirred with the wet ingredients immediately before choking it down. This concoction serves a number of functions, but also decreases my appetite between breakfast and lunch. My current mix contains:

In relatively equal parts -
Moringa
Spirulina
Ground flax seed
Psylium husk

Flavored with -
Cinnamon
Turmeric

About two tablespoons of the dry mix get dumped over -
Three tablespoons apple vinegar with the mother
Quarter cup of bone broth (yes, cold)

So nasty, but until a few weeks ago I hadn't been ill for two years.

I made a poster and placed it on my fridge that says:

Don't live to eat
EAT TO LIVE

There are books on mindful eating. I'm getting back into allowing myself to feel hunger without suffering. Hunger is okay if I'm trying to lose some weight. I work on not judging the sensation as good or bad, and not clinging to urges or cravings, but allowing them and letting them come and go without acting on them. I had forgotten these practices, but I'm reconnecting with them. It's similar with pain. Choosing not to medicate every discomfort. Allow the discomfort. Stretch and move to reduce stiffness. Work on strengthening my core. All that stuff.

Thanks y'all for helping me reconnect and providing a space for me to touch base and remind myself I can do this, I've done it before. I just want to be healthy and feel more comfortable in my body, but the dialectic is that allowing discomfort is the path to increased future comfort, just like the idea that fear is the path to fearlessness.

Ciao

Hello all, drive by check in. I am going along fine.

Am not here as much lately as spending time on Out of The Fog, a personality disorder site and forum to help me care for hubby.

Have a great weekend.

Hey guys. Sorry I’ve been MIA- I used to check SR first thing in the morning but now I have to dedicate that time to doing my daily writing for my sponsor.

Things are going ok. The first week was really rough and then it got easier. Then it got hard again and the cravings came full force yesterday. I should have made phone calls but I didn’t. It ended up being okay. I made a call this morning instead on my way to work. I haven’t had the desire to binge in over two weeks now. I have desired sugar but not the act of compulsive overeating. I don’t want to go there again. It’s too painful.

I am at a point where I think I need to cut out nuts and nut butters. I thought they were safe for me but I have been overeating them for a few days now. It doesn’t feel right. So away they go. Sigh. Another food to mourn the loss of. I feel bored sometimes with my foods options and I still haven’t gotten an official food plan from the dietician I haven’t filled out the forms.) I also reached out to a dietician who works specifically with food plans for sugar addicts but he won’t work with me because I don’t eat meat. I let him know how disheartening that is. There are entire counties and cultures who abstain from eating meat and even eggs. Why shouldn’t we have help too regardless of our spiritual beliefs around food? I understand that meat is nutrient dense and believe me, it would be a lot easier if I could eat it. But I can’t. At least not for now.

Anyway , I’m rambling.

Tired. It was super busy at work today and I’m exhausted and not in any way ready for daylight savings time to go forward an hour.

I will try to chime in more regularly. I am on step 4 and it’s a lot of work but therapeutic so far.

It’s amazing to be able to admit that this disease is not about the food (in other words keto isn’t going to solve the problem but it is the first step). It’s about resentments and hurts. It’s about healing and acceptance. It’s about surrender. I am finally learning how to do that and it is amazing- truly amazing. I feel blessed to have been through all the pain just to get to where I am today.

Zero, I love what you said about choosing not to medicate each little discomfort. That’s what I have been doing for years. Not having a crutch is the hardest thing I have ever done. I had a restlessness last night that I thought only sugar could cure. I grabbed a handful of freeze dried apples and while I enjoyed eating them, the immediate repercussions were not worth it. I felt so dizzy and sick and I felt terrible today from the sugar. It just shows you how sensitive my body is to sugar. I am a true sugar addict!

Dates do not work for the sugar addict. Most of us can’t even tolerate fruit! It’s a recipe for disaster.

Good morning everyone- still struggling with nuts and nut butters- I have overeaten them probably 3 times this past week which means I need to cut them out. I have told my sponsor and am waiting to hear back (she did not respond yesterday to any of my texts.) Just need to know whether I am starting over on tracking days. I haven't had sugar/flour in 16 days now but I did eat compulsively with the nuts.
I kind of dislike counting days. On the one hand it's nice to see the progress but on the other, it sucks to keep starting over. Just brings up feelings of shame and guilt. I guess this is all part of the process. At least I am honest with myself and with what behaviors I am struggling with..
How is everyone doing?
Where are you, Sunflower?

Hi Murrill- I am so glad you found a class you enjoy! I have had to wear ear plugs to a couple spin classes (music and instructor was WAY too loud)- I wonder if that is an option for you if you have trouble with the noise?

I'm glad you are also working on your food plan. I think it can take quite some time to figure it out. For me I had to cut out all snacking as it would kind of "open up the door" to eating and quite frankly my body does really well when it has 3-4 hours in between meals (plus this is great for leptin resetting!) I have the same problem with "snacky" foods- if it is something I can grab and eat, it's a no-no for me. I had to cut out string cheese for example but can add dairy to my meals. On every day that I have eaten compulsively, I have also found that i have snacked in between meals.

Have you thought about cutting out the snacks? I know in our sugar addiction FB group our guide (nutritionist and expert) does not recommend snacking. Just a thought, not trying to pressure you!

I hope you have a great Sunday :)