Thanks so much. Both yoga sessions were wonderful. xx

Ahhhhh Sunny.....I think you just hit on a major key to all of this.....I didn't realise....when I met Nick, I could not get over how fast he ate....I literally didn't give up until he heard me and started eating slower.

I taught him to wait 5 minutes instead of going for the next piece of toast or whatever....it has been a godsend for me. To wait, that is....because I don't have to suffer anymore from overeating. If you wait a few minutes, your digestive system will really stop you from eating more if there is enough nutrition in....and like anything else, it is practice makes better...

I wait. If I still am hungry in 5 or 10 minutes I may eat more....otherwise, no.

This may be useless.
I am realising over and over how completely different I am to other human beings... (sorry, not OK today here.... :().

Yes I have noticed the very same thing, Venus.

And holy hell, what kind of sister do you have that would disown someone as kind as you? I know we each of us has an online persona of sorts but if you’re even half as sweet as you come off online, then I’m afraid your sister may not be so well in her mind. I do hope I’m not overstepping when I say that.

I can relate, though. My family has had a whole lot of that, too 🙄

Ps....in keeping in line with accountability, I actually had 75% my coffee/sugar intake. It was a somber and cold morning...will try again tomorrow 🙃

Instantly crying.....my older sister (I am the middle) says she is not well at all....but it is still is the most hurtful thing that has ever happened to me in my life. And that is after a lot of crap.

Thank you.....that was so so lovely of you....and yes, I am about half as sweet in real life. :)

What can I say....I have a horrendous temper. One day at a time and all that. :) :hug:

Oh yes. I'm afraid I have one of those as well. People have been taken aback because I'm otherwise very mild.

I hope your sister comes around. I know how it is. I'm lucky enough to have a sister who gets along with me, but we are ourselves both very unlucky to have a mother who does not lol

If only life were not so short, then this would all make a lot more sense, right? But it is what it is.

As we are sharing about sisters, I opted to go No Contact with mine quite some years ago. The chaos, verbally lashing out became unacceptable to me. It was a difficult but good decision. Brought me peace. The same happened with my mum. I was done with the vicious verbal attacks on me. Their inner rage at life being directed at me. I am not their verbal punch bag!

There is a set script and set roles within my dysfunctional family and anyone who found the strength to step out of those roles are punished. I believe this is common within alkie/addict/codie/dysfunctional homes. As a child I had no choice but to tolerate my mothers rages and the fear and insecurity they brought me, as an adult I did.

Good to air this today. Off on a little shopping trip for a few things for my home this morning, going to bob by my gym to add in extra class as treat. Is a gentle fitness group today . Some relaxing circuits on the resistance machines, the gals that do this class are an absolute blast so lots of laughing guaranteed.

My eating calm and good. No obsessive thoughts, just doing what my program says to do. Not adding any "brilliant" adjustments of my own!! Haha.

Got long, stable, steady physical and emotional energy.

Husband not at all well yesterday so I called in the relevant medical team who were fantastic. They also advised of another medical service he is entitled to which we didn't know about. So I gave them a quick call and they are onboard too now. Which is great.

Caregiving to hubby is helping me to learn to ask for help. This does not come naturally to me. I was brought up to never ask for help, to keep everything secret and not tell anyone anything outside of the family. Old ways of being. Time to let them go.

Have a great day everyone

(((venuscat))) so sorry to hear about your sister. Sisters can be so cruel to one another. (I'm a middle sister as well). I hope she comes around.

Awwww, thank you so much love....and good to see you.....I miss you. :hug:

She won't come around....no way, no chance..... xxx

EDIT....reading the posts.....yes...it is what it is comes to mind for me as well.
You have to make peace with this stuff somehow. :hug: s

The thing that is so hard for me is that I am apparently the person she needs to escape from....I am the problem.....I ruined her life.....how on earth do you credit a sister with all of that? Sheesh.

Anyway....PW honey.....not sure if you know that I am an elder care worker....and I looked after my parents for years.....if you need to talk about any of this, right here for you....you are doing amazingly well.....it is a hard thing to do. :hug:

What date in March love? :)
And I am sure you will do it.... :hug:

Thank you for your kindness, VenusCat & Sunflower79 .

I didnt know you are an elder care worker, VenusCat, it certainly is hard emotional and physical work looking after an older sick person.

Sunflower79, so sorry to hear about your father.

I am sorry, too- although I have to admit it makes me feel less weird, not communicating with a family member for years. I often wonder what is supposed to happen if they get sick, old, or in need. I guess that is the social/biological instinct that comes to mind. The reality is my family didn't really want to be a family and it is best we go our separate ways and devise a plan that suites us best, no matter what the circumstances.

Anyways, just having another go today at 50% coffee/sugar. I'll be near zero caffeine by the end of the week....at least for a short while.

I also have a plan coming in spring to fast for a few days and cut out a lot of refined carbs....I'm a big pasta guy :)

I found a sponsor!
I had to listen the entire two hour meeting to get the names at the end. I probably got 8 names and for some reason I circled hers. I talked to two woman and she and I really connected. She is the same exact age and she has a lot of free time now as she is looking for a job. She has already given me my first reading assignment and we will take again on Friday.

She also wants me to talk to a dietician about my food plan. I didn’t realize I would have to pay someone for that.

Cravings are really strong today being trapped indoors with the snowfall outside. My Mom is here which is helpful because I feel supported even though she doesn’t naturally know what to do with the boys ( I have to be very specific with her.) still I feel blessed to have the help.

This cold is kicking my butt. I am taking an amazing herbal supplement but I still feel like I am in outer space. And I’m hungry.

That’s all for now. Not in the greatest mood and any other day I would be stuffing my face. This is really, really hard.
Wishing you all a wonderful day.

There must be something you can eat love.....something that you are allowed. xx

Awesome re the sponsor except for the part where she told you to spend money. Not ok. It's not that a dietician isn't a great idea, but that is up to you. I actually think that will cause you quite a bit of distress ~ it is just going to be someone else telling you what to do. :hug:

Good news that you connected with a sponsor, SunFlowerLife.

Thanks guys. Yeah I am not happy about the dietician part but I did reach out to her and am waiting for a text back.

I just had a yogurt and feel better. Protein is the trick for me. I need like 40 grams in a sitting to feel full! It’s crazy. There are tons of sweets in the house but I am not going to touch them. I wish I liked snow days but the noise is just so much for me. The boys are just being boys. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.