Knew I forgot one post :)

for years I'd take my failure to stop drinking as proof that I wasn't meant to stop drinking - but in fact I think all it was proof of was my lack of a cohesive plan to live soberly.

Time and again I resolved to try to stop drinking - but did very little to actually change my life - a life which was geared to drinking.

The results were predictable.

I said for many years I was lonely - but what I really was was scared - scared of being alone, scared of being in my own company with no one else to lighten the mood....scared of not being good enough, scared of the fact that the phone didn't ring was proof of my inherent none worthiness.

I had to face those demons - and I could only do that sober.

I was bored too - I'd been drinking for so long my imagination had atrophied.

I literally had no idea of how to amuse myself or pass the time beyond opening a bottle.

When I did stop drinking the things that helped pass the day and made the intolerable tolerable - sitting on the couch channel surfing no longer worked.

Again - it took not drinking - and that leap of faith I mentioned before - for me to figure that one out.

I don't think anyone is incapable of becoming sober and staying that way offthemast - but a lot of people do fall short when it comes to a recovery action plan, and in making changes to their life that reflect their desire to be sober..

I recommend these links to you, and anyone else who's looking for ideas on what to do differently this time :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html

D

You know it is funny because I would brush my teeth, but not very well. And never wear my mouthguard against grinding teeth.

Canuck: You mentioned memory gaps and not knowing what day it is. I feel like my memory gaps are really showing me the brain damage I am causing. I ask my husband a lot "did I tell you this?" because I can't remember what I told him or not. And I can't remember how cranky I got with everyone while drinking. I wonder how buzzed or drunk I appeared. I don't remember what time I went to bed unless I think really hard. I don't remember if I brushed my teeth (Listae lol). This is no way to live. Not remembering the details of life with my family.

Affecting Work: As a side note, I realize this addiction really is messing with my abilities at work. I thought it didn't because I never come to work late, I don't call off, I don't get sick in the bathroom. But once again, I can feel the brain damage showing in my inability to focus. I find it very hard to stay engaged at work anymore and I'm dozing off at my desk quite a bit. This really has checked that box now.

Hope: Today I woke up feeling great. Even after staying up with my coughing 2 year old from 2:30 -4. I felt like Hooray I did one day sober, today is going to be better. I am not as tired even with less sleep. I know my hope and more confidence comes from this website and the posts I read yesterday. It is nice to see so many other people starting day 1 yesterday like me. Makes me feel not as isolated. I do feel like I will need something else to hold me accountable.... Other than AA. Not sure what that will be.

Have a good day everyone.

Dee, I'm going to print out the info from the first link you posted and work on putting a binder together this week.

I can't do this anymore. I didn't make it through day 3 yesterday. The cycle is always the same--binge, recover, get excited to start my alcohol free journey, and crack on the 3rd or 4th day. It's been like this for 2 years now. Alcohol has become my favorite escape with the worst consequences. I'm afraid that I can't do this. It's such a crutch and what will happen if I don't have it to disappear into anymore. But the amount I can drink is shocking and that scares me too. I don't want my life to be like this. I remember who I used to be and I'm trying so hard to get back to her, but as soon as the thoughts of drinking pop up, it's like they just snowball and before I know it I'm driving to the liquor store. Telling myself I'll just have a couple, and sometimes that's the case, but usually not. More like 12.

And the next day I feel so ashamed, embarrassed, disgusted with myself that I gave in yet again. I berate myself for being weak, because I should be able to do this, right? Key word--should--but I'm not. I don't want to keep coming back here and repeating that I failed.

There was a post a while back by someone that I had bookmarked.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...one-today.html

It's a long list of negative personal consequences of drinking that the poster had compiled...I think there's 54 of them. I had it bookmarked because I could relate to 90% of the things listed and felt it would be good motivation for myself. I could have written it myself. But then I forgot about it and didn't look at it again until the other day. I'm going to print this post out, add some of my own negative experiences, and add it to my recovery plan binder.

I also like reading the threads about the positive changes people have noticed in the absence of alcohol. I could also add some of those to the binder for more motivation.

Thanks red for the link :)
Been reading some post I never had made it past two weeks I always gave up when it got to much to handle... I was a daily drinker mostly 3pm after kids got out of school then when they went to sleep I’d drink until I blacked out or pass out then weekends plenty of times drinking wine at 8am til I went to sleep well not sleep pass out I found out the difference!!! The only way I’ve started to break the cycle was from some information somebody has gave me.... when I’d stop drinking that’s the only change I done nothing else I keep doing everything I was normally doing which I found out you have to change somethings!!! you have to take care of yourself first and go easy when things start getting to you or cravings you have to address them not try to forget them or not deal with it because it always ends up a disaster any time I started to obsess over drinking or craving I’d take a hot shower or bath take a walk read a book write how your feeling and toss it away eat something watch tv yoga meditation the list goes on just find something to give you comfort you have to take yourself out of the situation your in and no matter how uncomfortable or hard it is just make sure you put you head on that pillow sober because tomorrow is always a new day only take one day at a time because that’s all you have each day you add it might not seem like it at first but does make you stronger and before you know it things get easier and you can control it better!!!
Hopefully everyone has a lovely sober day
Anytime you think it’s a good idea drinking which I’ve been there plenty of times remember all the bad events that’s happened and all the pain it caused usually helps me make the right choice

Hope everyone is doing well today!
Just a few days and sleep, skin, weight, and mood is better. However, when things improve, I have to be more diligent not to slip. Good luck to everyone keeping on their goals today!

Morning everyone. Happy to be here after almost 9 hours of sleep. Ahhh....

I'm doing pretty badly but sober and delighted to see new people joining.

Not drinking today, 24 hours

I only slept about an hour today from 5am to 6am. 7 hours total sleep in 4 and half days....

Might explain the 3 hour long panic attack I just came through. Didn't drink, all that matters

Canuck, I apologize if this comes off as frivolous (cause I'm kind of extra as a person). One aspect of drinking is that we terribly deplete crucial vitamins and minerals. I've been pushing b vitamins and use a magnesium spray- magnesium is crucial to sleep, muscle, and brain processes. I acknowledge that it's likely somewhat of a placebo effect, but I use the spray in the morning, evenings, when I wake up at 4 cause my body is so used to waking up then, and occasionally when I feel anxious from cravings, and it calms me down. Are you taking anything to replenish what the alcohol has drained from your body?

Orange juice, grapes, whole grain bread, cold cuts and tuna for protein, tons of water. Also, Melatonin supplements

Although , that was just in the last 24 hours. I know this all part of detoxing. I expect to sleep for a long time soon. Maybe tonight. Gotta tough it out. Thanks for the suggestions

I hope you sleep like a rock tonight! And I didn't mean to imply that supplements magically make the problems go away. If they did, none of us would be here!
Good luck!

Has anyone figured out how to get past the guilt and shame that makes us feel so anxious?? How do we learn how to forgive ourselves?? I know it takes time, but is there anything else that helps? I'm going to try to get on my treadmill to see if that helps take away some of the nervous energy that has taken over my body.

Magnum, the three books I'm basing my recovery on are Bright Line Eating, the Naked Mind, and Allen Carr's Easy way method. Not that I don't hold myself accountable and regret the time when I escalated my drinking from occasional to full blown (I can pinpoint when it happened and why) but these books helped me understand the chemical, social, and societal factors that contributed. Also, (again from the books) our dopamine receptors have been flooded and we're lacking happy hormones right now. As one of the books said, addicts don't use to feel GOOD, they use to feel NORMAL. The longer we stay sober, the more healed those receptors are, and the more they allow us to feel normal good (not short-term synthetic 'good', but real feelings of pleasure).
so all I'm saying is to exercise, meditate, pray, whatever recharges you, and know that our bodies are working to recover our ability to self-support.
... And sorry if this sounds like an Amazon book review. Everyone says to have a system set in place and mine was these books and what they taught me!

Eeek, Magnum, to finish my thought is that although it's good to acknowledge the things we say and do under the influence, maybe we'll be able to face it more coherently and rationally a little further in, and be better able to make our atonement and forgive ourselves.

I guess I should be in this group too, day 6 here. I was in rough shape the first 5 days, little to no appetite, in the dumps etc. Today has been much better though and I bought a bunch of veggies to make salads to get the most from my weak diet. Been on the vitamins since day 3 and bought milk thistle yesterday.

I can't remember how this is "supposed" to work. Does that class of January stay in January or do we graduate to Febuary? LOL!

I know it's no biggy either way but I wanted to know what the official system is :)

Evening all. End of day two, thank god that one is gone

Have a good evening all, catch up tomorrow

Evening guys!
3 days since I drank and 2 since I smoked. No patches, nrt or hypno (ive done it all!) I just stopped and im not even being that determined, jst totally dont want to do it.
am expecting booze craves tomorrow as after a few days they start (im a binger not a daily drinker) so i need a good plan. I drank every other day last week though.
ive been taking vitamins for 2days and eating regular nutritious meals (just packed a huge box of fruit n veg for work tomorrow) i am trying to feel as good as i can in every other way- proactive not reactive. I will try and get up early to meditate.
i went to work today for the first time in a week. I wont lie, it was hard. But i did it. I cried a bit but i lasted all day.
i have a journal to track progress and a gratitude book too where i am writing 3 things im thankful for each day.
i have some cross stitch to do tomorrow evening to help me be distracted if i crave.
i feel exhausted but positive and feel the fog lifting.
i hope you are all well xx

Same here, end of day two and its bedtime soon. Hope I sleep better tonight (only got three hours sleep last night and woke up at 2.30am and was unable to get back to sleep or even feel rested).

My Wife and I have saved $450 by not drinking for 18 days. What a waste of money booze is.
I'm also down to 86.5 from 90kg, feeling great also.
I'm just tapering off Baclofen like I mentioned before so still not 100% but i'm getting there.
Hopefully by next Monday I will be on my A game.
Baclofen withdrawal comes with some confusion and mild anxiety which kind of sucks. Because if I wasn't tapering
and was on day 18 I'd be feeling fantastic no doubt.

Stay strong people.

you can do either neither or both :)

The original intent was folks stayed with their original group, but people relapse, or they feel more comfortable with a fresh start in a new group for whatever reason so theres no rules.

Whatever feels most comfortable and beneficial to you WaterOx.

Hope that the week gets better for any of you doing it tough and welcome SIB and any one else I missed :)

D

Just my customary word on supplements - not everyone is the same so any supplement suggestions should really be run past your doctor with an eye to your general health and whatever other medications you're taking.

Sharing experience is fine but please no recommendations for others. That's medical advice under our rules.

Dww
Moderator
SR

Celebrating everyone who got through day 5 of February without drinking! Withdrawal is hard but it doesn't last forever.

Cannuck: I'm glad you found relief in going to meetings. Getting sober alone is far less pleasurable than joining others who are on the same path.

Insomnia/anxiety is my last hurdle. Just cannot sleep. I doze off for 20 mins and have a vivid dream that wakes me up. I am non-functional. Hopefully, it will all be over soon. 5 days is longer than usual for my detoxes. Kindling effect I assume.

Let us learn our lesson this time Be123! Take your day and chill-out.
.

Day 3 starting. - -

You guys talking about lack of sleep is making me feel better. Better because at least my lack of sleep is not as bad as that. My 2 year old has had a fever the last couple days so I've been up with her in the night. I can't even imagine how tired I would be if I was drinking the last 2 nights. I'm tired enough as is. Plus the anti-anxiety medicine I'm on makes me extremely sleepy at work. It's embarrassing all the times I can doze off in a day.

Day 6. 6 is also the cumulative number of hours I have slept during this time span. Blotchy, itchy skin like I have never experienced. At 42, my body is telling me that I cannot continue to drink without new health consequences to come. Never mind my deteriorating mental health.

I went to an early AA meeting. Passed by the liquor store on the way home and didn't even give it a thought. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.