Class of April 2015 Part 14
 

last part here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-13-a-20.html

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Thank you Dee and thanks for the new thread!

Keep up guys, lol!

Hey laggers, catch up! Who used to say that all the time?

Have a good weekend everyone!

I think it was Zab who used to say that? Really nice to hear from Cauliflower! Great to hear about the condo. What an exciting project!

I've been off the radar the last couple of weeks. Sometimes happens with this site that I get signed out of my account and stop getting notifications. Out of sight is out of mind for me, especially when I'm busy! Yesterday was a holiday here for All Souls. In Spain it is a big day for remembering your loved ones. We made the long 5 hour drive to pay respects to my father-in-law. He died May 22nd 2015 when I was just a month sober and a couple of times the stress attached to that was almost enough to tip.me back into the spiral. It was a very close run thing looking back on it. I wonder what would have become of me had I not had the resolve to get through that.

Anyway, nice to be away for a few days, even if there isn't much to do up here.

Take care all!

I think it was Zab who used to say that? Really nice to hear from Cauliflower! Great to hear about the condo. What an exciting project!

I've been off the radar the last couple of weeks. Sometimes happens with this site that I get signed out of my account and stop getting notifications. Out of sight is out of mind for me, especially when I'm busy! Yesterday was a holiday here for All Souls. In Spain it is a big day for remembering your loved ones. We made the long 5 hour drive to pay respects to my father-in-law. He died May 22nd 2015 when I was just a month sober and a couple of times the stress attached to that was almost enough to tip.me back into the spiral. It was a very close run thing looking back on it. I wonder what would have become of me had I not had the resolve to get through that.

Anyway, nice to be away for a few days, even if there isn't much to do up here.

Take care all!

Glad you found the links again Amp. It was getting lonely here.

That's right, it was Zab. I wonder how his business fared and if he got back on the wagon once again?

I am glad that you are enjoying a few days off. I don't know how we would have reacted if we drank a month in. So many folks here have gone back out for years after just a drink and that thought scares me enough to take any future drinking ideas off the table. Yesterday, I realized that we all hit three and a half years last month. The time has really flown by looking back on it. Boy, I remember how some of those early days were pure torture riding out the waves minute by minute.

I am in the midst of an early stretch of work days. It's tough getting up at 2:30 am but I like getting home earlier too. We are still so shorthanded at work, so I am exhausted by the end of the work day.

Enjoy your weekend and safe travels back!

Hey Inc, where you at?

I hit 1300 days a couple of days ago. One hundred and eighty six weeks without drinking. Who would have thought?

Best wishes for a good weekend everyone!

Congrats on 1300 days SG. That's a long time. Great strength of commitment!

Friday night here. I went out with my wife to a musical. Stage version of Dirty Dancing which was very well done. I don't think I'd seen it since the late eighties when it came out! A long road since then!!! My wife is leaving oo Sunday to do a two week course in the UK so we wanted to do something together before she left. Turned out to be a nice choice :)

Where are you Inc? I was thinking about you today. I'm reading a book called unlimited power and it's interesting on NLP and choosing your beliefs. Up your street I think :)

Amp, wondering if you have seen "Bohemian Rhapsody" yet and what your thoughts are about it? Just saw it yesterday. Will withhold comments until later.

I'm looking for an opportunity to see it but I don't want to see it dubbed into Spanish so I may have to wait. People tell me it's pretty amazing!

hey guys :)

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Hey Dee! How's tricks?

all good here thanks Amp - hope it is for you too?

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All good thanks Dee :)

Are you still getting to play music a lot Dee?

Have you wrapped up the new album yet Amp?

Looking at our first snow/icy roads day here. I would love to switch houses with either of you for the next few months!

Yeah - as much as I want really SG

playing out of town tomorrow, leaving today - so that will be a nice trip, a break, and event :)

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Sounds good Dee. I'm struggling to get the album out. Can't seem to organise the rehearsal sessions for the launch. Everyone has such busy lives. I've promised myself not to stress about it and after a failed attempt to get a timeline sorted over the course of which I ruffled a few feathers, I've taken the decision to make myself available but to stop teytry to drive that particular train. Shame because all the hard work is done, but it's a kind of liberation when you let go too!

Enjoy the trip, Dee :) Drive safe in those icy conditions, SG!

Hi Amp!

Brexit is all over the news even here in the US. Without getting political, how will this affect your citizenship? Seems like quite a mess is developing there because no one anticipated all the consequences from the voters decision to leave the EU.

I've been very disappointed by my country's decision to take an isolationist stance, particularly when this has lead to a surge in hate crime and increasingly extreme attitudes. I've begun the process of applying for Spanish citizenship while I am still a European citizen so that I can keep my options open.

If I had to pick an adjective to deacrdes my feelings it would either be disillusioned or disappointed. I grew up in the European Union .I took advantage of study grants to study abroad. I met my wife because who had come to the UK on a similar study program and I now live in her country with bilingual European children. I feel like my rights are being removed and part of my identity is being is being devalued.

I know this isn't a place for politics, but, just on a personal level it's pretty hard.

Hope you guys are well. Any news on Inc?

Sounds like you are making a sound decision Amp. We are suffering the consequences of extreme behavior and attitudes being accepted as normal here now also. It's quite disheartening. Hopefully, someone can light a candle to chase the darkness, as Dee says.

I have not heard a peep from Inc. I checked a while back, and he hadn't been logged into SR since early October. Hopefully, he is just pulling an OMD and continuing on his way, sans SR. I have to see if I might have his number lying around here somewhere.

Have a good day all!

Thanks for the text SG :) I'm sorry it took that long. I r super appreciate the follow up though.

Been doing pretty well. Little roller coaster but nothing like before. Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself. I'm back to my old ways of being a workaholic and meanwhile I was hitting the gym 5 days a week or more as well as an AA mtg every other week or two.

Amp... You mentioned how good it feels to let things go. That's pretty much where I am now. I stopped going to the gym for a bit. But I was disappointed since I was making gains. Had to take a deep breath and let it go. I'll just pick it back up later. Still going once a week for now.

The stress has been ramping up as I slowly lose grip of the store I'm running. Nothing major. Just not knocking it out of the park like I was. Some things were out of my control. I had to let they go. So what. . The store isn't going to slip that far down and it's nothing I can't fix when the uncontrollables settle themselves. They ALWAYS DO.

I'm new to this "Let it be" philosophy I realized last year was important. It's actually one (of many) issues which didn't end so well before if I set too many or too high expectations.

I guess to they point, I'd like to thank you again SG. I'm more than fine. I really have learned a lot and applied much of what I learned, but I'm not a fool to think I'll NEVER slip into old habits. Most of the time it's subconscious. Thankfully my conscious self picks up on it, but I "fear" they'll be something my conscience mind won't recognize.

Part reason I make it a point to hit a meeting once in a while. But after typing that out, seems rather silly to make thst effort, but I can't stop here for just shy of 2 months?

OMG. That's awesome SG! That is too funny. Man, those were the good ok days, were they not?

​​​​​​Am I completely nuts for feeling that way? I have a funny feeling if I was teleported back to that day, I'd be screaming to come back to today in less than one minute.

Good to see you IC.

don;t get why it's silly to make an effort to hit an AA meeting once in a while tho?

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So great to hear from you Inc! Glad you are doing well!!!

Hi Dee, hi SG!

Good to see you Inc!

I am going through the same "losing grip" of the store feeling with my management team. We have been so shorthanded on help, that many things that routinely got done no longer get done. We are lucky to be able to complete the basics. Lowering the bar is a slippery slope, and hard to bounce back from if it becomes a new expectation. It is just difficult trying to run a retail food store this time of year with slow sales summer time staffing. We have to pick our battles I guess.

Have a good day all!

How's it going guys?

Amp, you will get a kick out of this. I picked up an old acoustic guitar that was lying around in my daughter's room and have started to learn a couple of chords. My fingers have little dexterity to them. It just makes me further appreciate all the amazing guitar players that I have seen over my lifetime. Having a little fun with it. Will see if I stick with it a while.

Have a good day all!

Good for you SG! Give it a bit of time and you'll soon see that you're able to get a sound out of it!!!

I agree - I can do it anyone can :lmao

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Sweet SG!

Funny. I think God made me come here tonight to read that you're playing the guitar SG.

I was feeling sorry for myself and unable to sleep. I had a dream which triggered a thought about my personal belongings I lost from when I was a drunk. I practically gave away all my tools / hobby and my house with some personal stuff still in it.

I tried taking a minute or too to accept it and felt a little better. There's no reason at all I need to have, never mind be upset over momentos. I think the true pain point was that allowed that situation to happen.

Forgiveness is a hard trait to master. I'm currently going through A Course In Miracles which is another path to enlightenment. This, however, was written by a psychologist who claimed to channel Jesus. That's a pretty hard pill to swallow. But I just put that aside and study the message. I don't want to throw out the baby with the water you might say. Of course... In this case... Maybe I'm throwing out the baby but not the water :/

Anywho...
The main concept in this program is to break down the ego to a point where you can see that God is everything and everywhere. All that's true is love and forgiveness. Everything else is a lie made up by the ego.

I'm doing pretty good with seeing the ego for what it is and I can see how it's impacting my view of the universe. Where I'm growing the most (opportunity) is see clearly what's left behind once I remove the lies out there by the ego.

​​​​​A Course in Miracles has a lesson book with 365 lessons and practices designed to tear down your strong grip to ego vision and replace that with Chris vision which just means seeing God in everything, every person, and situation. This is where my interest lies.

So... I'm lying in bed feeling sorry for myself and unable to sleep. Then have the realization I'm not "seeing God" in this situation at all. So I try to think where is God in that situation where I was a drunk and lost stuff that was dear to me.

Of course I realize a few things. One, it's things. Material objects that have no ability whatsoever to create happiness. Not even an smidgen of happiness. That can only be done within me and I can still feel that happiness if I think about the memories themselves that the momentos represented.

I'm also thankful for having the experienced the awakening I've had so far. I never would have begun this journey if I didn't hit bottom. I'm on a new journey now and I'm grateful for it in a huge way.

Well... The thing is... Learning to play guitar is something I've wanted to do for a long time. Right now is the perfect time to get a used one too!

Thanks SG for the reminder :)

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Hey! Really nice to hear how our group is moving in a more musical direction!

I think it's hard not to dwell too much on wasted years and mistakes, and it is certainly an interesting challenge to move onto the next step of the journey. I guess there are many paths to enlightenment, and we all need to try to find our own way...

Nice to hear that we're all taking steps :)