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Originally Posted by Fradley
(Post 6845880)
Hello all, A client didn't quite lie to me today, but spread a particularly thick layer of BS on his excuse for non-payment of an invoice he promised would be paid before Easter. Old me would have instantly reacted with a snarky response. Sober me just accepts it and offers him only my pity for whatever is causing him to behave like this. Mrs F spent 90% of some cash we had specifically ring-fenced to pay a bill, and is now grumpy we can't pay the bill. Hmmm? Can't quite see the consistency in this. I have a huge project to finish for a major client tomorrow. The work I have already done is excellent, creative and exactly what they want and need. But despite >1000 days sober, my natural reaction is to tell myself I am an imposter and a fraud. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly we get better. All of the above reminds me how far I have come - and to take nothing for granted. Grateful to be going to bed sober today. Go well friends, Fradley I bet Barack had a few moments on that beautiful terrace when he also felt like an impostor and a fraud. I bet every US president that has stared out over that lawn has felt that way. As recovering alcoholics we are insanely hard on ourselves....everyone has doubts, self-doubt, it is part of our human frailty, and part of what makes us beautiful. :hug: |
B- you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers, such as they are. My biggest achilles heel is my sons. I do think you are taking the right approach. As to your ex...well there are a jillion cliches about the actions (or lack of) of others. I was invited to share at my last meeting as sec. in the city yesterday. I shared that despite feeling the anxiety and guilt and a tirade of other negative feelings, the difference now is I do not act out on them. That I have a clearer understanding of the why's and what to do's. And about the nature of addictive behaviour. I used the example of how last year I bought a Vietnamese coffee in the city...very strong and sweet- being made with sweetened condensed milk. I love it. Which is why I will buy maybe 2 a year. An action repeated over time becomes a pattern- which turns into a habit. Addiction is like that- be it coffee or ciggies (I am doing ok- as am reducing, and not increasing) or booze or anything. Any behaviour that controls our thinking has to be watched. Support to all. |
Hello friends! Sorry I haven’t been very active here. I’m constantly in AA meetings! It’s what’s working for me right now so I don’t wanna change it! I’m afraid to change what has been working! I know alcohol is waiting for me to let my guard down. I’m not gonna! I’m gonna be leaving to go to the Driver Intervention Program this week and won’t be home until next Sunday night. It’s better than jail but still sucks! They basically lock you in a hotel and make you listen to attorneys, counselors, doctors etc talk about the dangers of drunk driving. We will also have to watch tons of videos & movies about it, study and have tests. It’s part of my sentence for my OVI. Again....I’m sooooo grateful that I will be locked in a really nice hotel instead of a jail cell but it still sucks. I will have a roommate. I had the option of paying more and having my own room but I decided not to. The food is all catered in so MUCH better than jail food! (Not that I’ve had jail food but heard it’s disgusting) Ha! Anyway...I won’t be checking in again until next week. I just want you all to know I’m doing well but anxious about this program. I think they also have families/friends/survivors of drunk drivers come talk to us. I will feel soooo guilty and full of shame. I think I may apologize if given the chance. I’m so blessed I didn’t hurt anyone! Thank God! Well....day 93 and still going strong! See you next week after my hotel prison! :headbange Love you guys! |
Some very thought provoking posts today. Thanks. Its good to read some recovery wisdom over a cup of evening chamomile. 500 miles behind the wheel today and I had time to think of us, and what we're accomplishing. Thanks for being here. Have a good day and night! |
Checking in tonight. Doing okay. Sober so that’s a win. Bobbie - add me to the prayers for Nathan (and for you) My heart is with your family. ❤️ Kiki - I hope that you find all the takeaways over the next few days. I imagine the days with be valuable and once in a lifetime. And you’re right - certainly a lot better than jail and more life changing I’m sure. Pelagic - sometimes in the thick of it it’s hard to see this struggle as accomplishment....so thank you for the reminder. Every day is a true gift. Fradley - I don’t think I ever said welcome. So welcome! I love your attitude! Well off to bed. Talk to you all tomorrow. |
KiKi love ~ please trust me when I tell you this.....rather than feeling guilty and horrible when you interact with the family members.....it can be something else entirely. Where you are now, with your commitment to sobriety and to your own family.....you are a survivor as well. All of you together survived the horrible consequences of this disease....together, now, you are all part of the solution. It will be cathartic and painful and wonderful. And something you will never forget....in a good way. :hug: ♥♥ |
Thanks, friends, for helping me stay sober today! :a194: |
Good posts here today. Proof that we are stronger together! I had one of those stupid thoughts that pop into your head out of the blue. Fortunately, I had my smarty pants on :) Haha. Going to bed shortly, and doing it sober. Busy week ahead - I'll need all the energy I can muster, so one more reason to not drink. See you guys tomorrow!! |
I remember the Skylab panic Pel but it landed way on the other side of the country from me Kinda disappointing for a 10 yo :) |
I'm really glad you got through that MITA love. :) :hug: But I couldn't help myself.... https://i.imgur.com/YGo6KnF.jpg |
Night guys. You’ll have to post your pic wearing those, MITA. Sweet dreams. |
I so need a pair of those smartie pants ! Hi Sam - thanks for the welcome. Venus ... you are just too kind. This year I am going to get over myself and write something properly. There - I've said it. Got up super early and ploughed on with my work. Definitely better for a few hours sleep. Today is going to be tough, but I will get through...and go to bed bed sober. Thats good enough for me :) Go well Fradley |
Me too Fradley...sounds like we have the same dream/goal. :) Nite Bobbie love....nite everyone xept for those pesky Australians who are enjoying a beautiful afternoon. I am not the least bit jealous. Much. Sigh. Lucky I love my husband. ;) And good afternoon gorgeous Aussies. Mwaaaaa xxxxx |
Hey and don't forget us South Africans just starting out on the day :) |
Have a great day, Fradley! Night, Suze. Sweet dreams. |
Originally Posted by venuscat
(Post 6846156)
KiKi love ~ please trust me when I tell you this.....rather than feeling guilty and horrible when you interact with the family members.....it can be something else entirely. Where you are now, with your commitment to sobriety and to your own family.....you are a survivor as well. All of you together survived the horrible consequences of this disease....together, now, you are all part of the solution. It will be cathartic and painful and wonderful. And something you will never forget....in a good way. :hug: ♥♥ |
https://s18.postimg.org/tu5et2nqd/14..._CB14_DEFF.jpg It’s late and time for sleep. Prayers and support for you all. |
I have managed to download a few more art works in the gallery bit. |
Good morning all! Thunderstorms all night here in Cincinnati. Not a great day to clear downed trees and branches from mom's yard. And i seriously doubt the chainsaw will start. But the grass is green and it soon be time for mowing. Lovely spring weather for sure! |
Enjoy your time with your mom, Pelagic. Heading to the gallery after I finish my post, PHX. Have a great day, Lillian! Good morning, BBG! Some March people need to get up! Have an awesome day! |
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