Goodness I really slept in today.
HelenofTroy, I've slipped up too many times to count. Of course we would welcome you back with open arms :). I am so glad you are here in this class with us.

Day#17 for me. Getting closer and closer to a month and that red chip from AA. After 2 days of no meetings I went to a birthday meeting last night and I'm so glad I did. Missing 3 in a row is too many. My sponsor and AA literature is really helping me to see things from a different angle. From a less self absorbed spot. Even the other night when my parents were drunk and abusive their were things I could have done differently. And I'm learning. At least I got to see things from the other side of the fence, and I thank the Creator I was sober. What a nightmare it would have been if I was drunk too. And, that scene was almost 2 days ago. All I need to focus on is today.

Today I am borrowing the tractor from my ex partner to prepare the area for where the barn is going to go. Busy busy. I'll be so excited when my horses are here. I'll be able to walk out my door and see them in all their beauty. And make sure they are ok.

It's a new day. I wish everyone here has a great and sober 24.

OMG! What a perfect excuse to start off with. I completely forgot. I'm going to tell folk I'm doing that if they ask. And if they go on, I'll make them sponsored me!

I know for me having wine in the house is just not a good idea. It's too tempting if it is there. It's too easy to pick up. If you have to go out and get it at least it gives you time to really think about what you're doing and gives you time to change your mind. having it there in the house is a no no for me.

Of course don't beat yourself up about what you've done but by the same token I don't think it's a good idea to take it lightly. For me I have to understand the seriousness of what I've done, why I've done it and take steps to ensure it doesn't happen again.

I had loads of times when I drank just a couple of glasses and nothing bad happened but it was only a matter of time before I drank again and something bad did happen - last Friday night in my case :(

Thanks for your kind words Pinky. I've made all the calls and told people I'm not going. Everyone was very kind. I can breath again now. Today has been a good day and a sober one.

Welcome to the class Myloves :)

I would be perma-drunk if I kept any liquor at all whatsoever in the house.

Hi RAL, I'm sure the odd white lie, for the greater good, won't come back to karmicly haunt you. I've just bailed on tonight's plans. Someone's leaving drinks. I knew it would be too difficult so I did the same as you.

I'm actually in bed as I'm feeling ill (it's 6:50 PM here). I'm hungry but feel queasy.

so tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. one of our suppliers is putting on their annual bbq at our office complete with wine, beer and hard stuff. i'm not really worried about the booze at work for a couple of reasons - i'm very busy at work and need to have a sharp and clear head and #2 i have to pick up the kids from daycare so drinking isn't even an option.

what i'm worried about is when i get home after work. after being around booze all afternoon at work my resistance will be worn down and it won't take much for him to convince me to have a drink. actaully it's about right on schedual that he'll call me this afternoon asking me if i want him to pick me up a bottle of wine on the way home. i already have a plan for tonight so i don't think it will be that much of an issue.

i need a plan for the weekend. if the weather continues to be nice i'll be able to take the kids out and about to the city parks, maybe go to a corn maze or to free swim...

but i also know that me not drinking with the bf will start the ******** arguments from him about 'what, you don't want to spend time with me?" and that crap. i think i can honestly say that looking at leading a sober life the biggest challenging is going to be dealing with the bs from the bf who doesn't think he has a drinking problem - which he 100% does!!

sorry, now i'm rambling...

Welcome MyLoves! Good on you for coming right back Helen! And I agree RAL.. I've been mostly a homebody this time. .ive told my close friends that I usually go out with that if I go out it will just be a lunch/dinner, movie, Starbucks type thing. For a while. Starting to send my resume out again.. Really wanted to have at least 30 days under my belt before interviewing/working again. Day 23. Have a great day all! :)

Hi Sazzle, I forget you are in the UK too. I always think everyone is in the US!! It's going really dark early here now!

good on you for not going out - definitely the right thing to do. I hope you get a decent night's sleep and feel better soon. :)

That's the one!

I can relate as my husband was a heavy drinker. (I say was. He still is a heavy drinker just no longer my husband)

When I got sober in 2012/2013 I realized that I had to do it for me. It didn't matter if I thought he had a problem or how he dealt with mine it was all I could do to concentrate on me. I had to be true to myself and put myself first, not what he wanted or asked for. He was understanding to be fair.

It must be very difficult if your bf is not understanding. Perhaps he doesn't like the fact that your relationship and the dynamics will change or that you're holding up a mirror and making him address his own issues. None of this you can control though - just your own actions.

If you don't want to buy wine tomorrow then don't. He can get his own. Put yourslef and your recovery first

good luck with the job hunting CAGY :)

thanks for reminding me of that. and i do have myself and my kids to focus on. we're in this weird co-dependent relationship and i KNOW the biggest fall out from me going sober will be the pretty much guaranteed end of our relationship.

i started drinking as a way of coping with his drinking with the 'if you can't beat them join them' mentality. however, i can't live like this or with myself anymore. me and my kids deserve so much more of me then i am giving them right now.

Welcome to the September Class MyLoves :)

Hi Myloves - I think you've got a great start here in that you recognise the situation for what it is.

I left my husband 2 years after getting sober. I saw the futility and worthlessness of just drinking every night and I wanted more from life. I didn't want to be with a man who did that. There were many other reasons too but me getting sober just brought it to a head. I think if I had been sober we'd probably never have even got together in the first place.

Anyway I've never regretted my decision and know it's the best for me and our son. I don't want him growing up seeing his father drinking bottle of wine after bottle of wine every night.

Anyway obviosuly I didn't stay sober but that's another story. My only advice is be true to yourself - you come across as a lot stronger than you realize :)

ya, my eyes are wide open as far as our relationship goes. i've had one foot out the door twice already - once before i got prego with #2 and once when #2 was about 1yr old. i grew up in a house where my parents had a very healthy relationship with alcohol and my bff grew up with two alcoholic parents - it eventually killed them both. so i know what a healthy relationship and a messed up one looks like. if the bf wants to follow my lead and quit as well - great. if not, i'm not holding my breath and will not raise my kids in this environment any longer the 100% necessary.

right now i need to concentrate on getting myself better and saving up a little cash.

Hi folks. I've had a pretty good day 1 here; much better that the big fat zero yesterday lol. I go the rest of the speakers hooked up and mounted on the walls and sorted out my snowy picture problem (had a bad coax cable). So I've just made something to eat (with a big cold glass of milk :) ) and I'm going to sit back and watch some tv tonight.

Wishing everyone a good evening (or whatever it is in your part of the world). I'll see you tomorrow.

Greetings fellow September Class members :)

I had a pretty good day. My sleeping pattern is messed up and I slept in till 11 (which almost NEVER happens) because I was up the entire night before. Despite that I had a very productive and good day. Pulled out a bush by the roots with the tractor and leveled the ground to prepare it for the gravel that is (hopefully) being delivered tomorrow. The small barn and run in are coming at the beginning of next week. I still can't believe my horses are going to be here, right in my backward. I am so lucky. They won't have as much space to roam or gallop but they have a lovely sheltered bush area for the winter and I am going to see if a neighbor will rent me some summer pasture so they can get to romp in a big, grassy field and graze grass once in awhile.

I've been so depressed for so long even my desire to ride or be with my horses has declined dramatically over the years. I really think this is going to reignite my fire. I've always adored horses. They are my heart and soul. I have 4 right now but need to sell one to downsize to 3.

I certainly have days of feeling down in the pits of hell for sure but I try so hard to remember how lucky I am. I have much to be thankful for.

Day#17 tomorrow ... I thought it was today but I miscounted. I might be back to post some more if I can't sleep my until then goodnight all you fine folks (or good morning, depending on where on the globe you are).

:)

Windancer you are doing great! With all that fresh air and hard work today hopefully you will sleep better. So happy for you and your horses. Things are definitely looking up.

Thank you so much, Helen. (((((((HUGS)))))))))) I truly hope you are well too. I am also so lucky to have you and the rest of this awesome class. I really don't know if I could have made it to now without drinking a few notable times without you guys :) :You_Rock_

Hi,

Just checking in.

My body finally allowed me to sleep and I just woke up from a 6 hour nap. Not something I'm used to doing but It is the first solid sleep I've had since day 1. It's day 9 now.

Still no appetite but at least the stomach pains aren't constant. Progress!

Head is super fuzzy. Not like the lack of sleep hangover, more like a giant marshmallow.

No shakes or sweats/chills today! Little cold but I think that is Autumn coming in full swing.

Overall sense of calm - now that's worth staying sober for!

I don't have any desire to drink. I'll take that one day at a time.

Snarly

PS Amazon Rocks! Everything I ordered for my B Day showed up!
2 day delivery when I didn't pay for delivery? Great.