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Ugh. AV is yapping away in my head. It's been pretty quiet lately in there, but today yap yap yappity yap yap. Started about an hour ago. Why? I am feeling the pressure of getting the company set up on a new financial system to begin on Jan 1st. Lots of thinking and figuring and organizing today So. My brain is tired. Which is a trigger...this is kind of where it all began for me. I don't want to go home and think about all this crap and dream about it tonight...a bottle of wine would take care of that for me says AV. No. No. No. No. AV you suck. And you lie. |
I know you're competent and skilled pams - you'll get the job done. You don't need no stinkin' alcohol! :) D |
Originally Posted by Fabat50
(Post 5683545)
Good evening everyone. I have just been reading through the recent posts here. There is so much positive energy and good vibes here.. I love it. So here I am day 33. Quick recap about my situation.. about 7 weeks ago I joined SR because I had finally faced up to my drink problem. I honestly thought at that time that all it would take to stop would be a "bit of effort" on my part. I then crashed through what felt like 15 day 2s in 3 weeks in tears and tantrums before throwing the towel in and going on a binge. That really freaked me out because I realised how deep in I really was, I was literally crawling the walls without a drink. So I then checked in to a one month rehab immediately.. started taking some medication.. got connected to people on here.. found a great psy all in the space of a couple of days. Today at day 33 at feel amazing. One thing did happen to day though that made me feel uncomfortable in myself. My eldest daughter is coming back from Uni tomorrow. She studies overseas and I have not seen her for 4 months. I am busy baking all of her favourite things and preparing a family supper. She loves an occasional glass of Lambrusco so I have bought a bottle. The first bottle of alcohol to have been in the house for over a month. Here's the thing... I am fine with the bottle being in the fridge. I keep reminding the AV that I HATE Lambrusco and it would take a lot more than a bottle of sparkling grape water to get me off track! But I feel so mixed about even buying it in the first place. On one hand I feel that my daughter, who is a sensible well balanced very healthy person, should be able to enjoy a glass of wine with a lovely meal to relax at the end of a long term. On the other hand I feel as if I remember only to well that I started down the long miserable road to alcohol the same way when I was exactly her age. The bottle is chilling in the fridge. I am so confused about if I serve it tomorrow or go and bin it now. So sorry I am waffling on and on here. But I guess my question is do I have a "moral duty "to make it difficult for others to drink, even if it is in moderation, because of my own addiction? Keep going everyone. I enjoy reading your posts. As for me, I bought alcohol for my hubby the other day because he's a normal drinker. I bought my son a beer at the bar, because he too is a normal drinker. We are alcoholics and that's totally different. I'm not the alcohol police and I don't ever want to be. When I quit smoking 25+ years ago I promised myself I wouldn't be a "reformed" smoker either. It's a disgusting and stinky habit, but if I don't have to breathe 2nd hand smoke then that's not my fight either. Just do what feels right for you. Your daughter may not even want to drink it in front of you if she's knows what you've been going through. I hope you have a great visit. |
Hi all. Quick check in at the end of day 36. I've had a busy week - was at Winter Wonderland in London yesterday. It was awash with booze stalls, mulled wine etc. I wasn't even tempted. After noticing it all I kind of rolled my eyes and thought, yeah, how to ruin a lovely Christmassy event. The change in my thoughts is quite frightening really. Who is this new person?! Still doing 6 meetings a week as well. Sv X |
My home is alcohol free, but that's unashamedly for my benefit. It was tough with a few friends but most people understood my reasons. If I can't feel comfortable in my own home...? If you have no qualms with it being there Fabat, thats cool - but I'd probably leave it to your daughter to buy her own in future? :) D |
Fabat, I agree with Dee; its your house so it's up to you. Remember, nonalcoholics don't treat it the same way we do: if it's not there, it's not a big deal. Kind of like dessert. Yes, dessert is yummy and can taste good at the end of a meal, but if it's not provided it doesn't ruin the meal. PS, I'm glad that you are doing so well :) Pams, hang in there! Keep playing the tape through. You will be relieved tomorrow that you did not drink today! |
Thanks Dee and SwimKim. I got this. Going home in 7 minutes to find something on Netflix to binge watch...drink a cup of TEA....maybe order some pizza and go into a food coma. AV can kiss my butt.... |
Sounds like a great idea, Pams. It's sleep time in the UK, but I will now hopefully dream of pizza. Have a good evening. |
Originally Posted by Fabat50
(Post 5683545)
Good evening everyone. I have just been reading through the recent posts here. There is so much positive energy and good vibes here.. I love it. So here I am day 33. Quick recap about my situation.. about 7 weeks ago I joined SR because I had finally faced up to my drink problem. I honestly thought at that time that all it would take to stop would be a "bit of effort" on my part. I then crashed through what felt like 15 day 2s in 3 weeks in tears and tantrums before throwing the towel in and going on a binge. That really freaked me out because I realised how deep in I really was, I was literally crawling the walls without a drink. So I then checked in to a one month rehab immediately.. started taking some medication.. got connected to people on here.. found a great psy all in the space of a couple of days. Today at day 33 at feel amazing. One thing did happen to day though that made me feel uncomfortable in myself. My eldest daughter is coming back from Uni tomorrow. She studies overseas and I have not seen her for 4 months. I am busy baking all of her favourite things and preparing a family supper. She loves an occasional glass of Lambrusco so I have bought a bottle. The first bottle of alcohol to have been in the house for over a month. Here's the thing... I am fine with the bottle being in the fridge. I keep reminding the AV that I HATE Lambrusco and it would take a lot more than a bottle of sparkling grape water to get me off track! But I feel so mixed about even buying it in the first place. On one hand I feel that my daughter, who is a sensible well balanced very healthy person, should be able to enjoy a glass of wine with a lovely meal to relax at the end of a long term. On the other hand I feel as if I remember only to well that I started down the long miserable road to alcohol the same way when I was exactly her age. The bottle is chilling in the fridge. I am so confused about if I serve it tomorrow or go and bin it now. So sorry I am waffling on and on here. But I guess my question is do I have a "moral duty "to make it difficult for others to drink, even if it is in moderation, because of my own addiction? Keep going everyone. I enjoy reading your posts. |
Originally Posted by pams
(Post 5683687)
Thanks Dee and SwimKim. I got this. Going home in 7 minutes to find something on Netflix to binge watch...drink a cup of TEA....maybe order some pizza and go into a food coma. AV can kiss my butt.... |
I'm totally begging tonight. I really wanted to go out to a nice dinner and have one glass of wine with dinner like a normal person. It makes me angry that I can't. I hate this disease. Oh well, I can't and that's all there is to it! |
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
(Post 5683910)
I'm totally begging tonight. I really wanted to go out to a nice dinner and have one glass of wine with dinner like a normal person. It makes me angry that I can't. I hate this disease. Oh well, I can't and that's all there is to it! How are you feeling Now KIR? Did your AV shut up? |
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
(Post 5683910)
I'm totally begging tonight. I really wanted to go out to a nice dinner and have one glass of wine with dinner like a normal person. It makes me angry that I can't. I hate this disease. Oh well, I can't and that's all there is to it! It's good to get the anger out, KIR. That helps us move on with our sober lives! I hope you are feeling a bit better. |
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...1e058de0a6.jpg Found this online and liked it so I thought I'd share. =) |
Hey guys! It's the middle of the night & I just got home from the hospital. My daughter's friend texted her about 10:00 pm tonight & said he was going to kill himself because his abusive alcoholic mother told him to. She also told him she wished he had never been born! He's the sweetest kid & she's an evil woman! Anyway, he is safe at the hospital & has security guards outside his room protecting him from his psychotic mother. He's only 14 and his name is Kenny. Can you please pray for him. So sad! :-( I'm glad I was sober so I could help him. |
I'm really sorry Kiki. Prayers for Kenny. D |
Prayers for Kenny! This disease SUCKS! KIR...this disease will lie to us over and over again...you sound just like me, all I wanted or thought I wanted was to be a normal drinker, but in reality I don't want to be normal, I want to be able to get drunk and suffer none of the negative consequences that comes with being a drunk! It's not that "one" drink that we alcoholics like or crave, it's the 5th and 6th and after that there's no stopping!!! KiKi- I was the same way...everyone else would have a few and then eat...not me! Eating just brought down the high so I would never eat till eventually I would wake up the next day and see half cooked food, half eaten and a disaster in the kitchen...it's truly a wonder I haven't burnt down my house! Again, this disease wants us dead...we have to keep fighting! Had my first craving since last weekend on the way home from work yesterday, funny how something as simple as a cool morning and walking down the road this smell of the outdoors triggered some memory of fall weather and drinking as teenagers out camping in the woods....crazy and for a moment I wanted to be that normal drinker again, but there is no normal for me... First time I ever touched alcohol I got blistering drunk, puked and had a blackout, my dad, his dead, my uncle and brother all have this disease and are dead or dying from it! Have to be vigilant! Off to work, have a great one everybody! |
Good morning class, checking in. KIR hope you're feeling better today. I feel the same way. It sucks. But I never stop at one either. Spent last night helping my bickering dysfunctional parents put up the tree. How I didn't scream at them is beyond me. Never got here to check in because of them. Have a house party tonight and tomorrow night and I'm not lying, I want to drink. Off to get ready for work. TGIF. |
Good Morning class! It's Friday, December 11, 2015! Have a great sober day! We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!! *Canguy -33 days *HealthyGoals - 5 days *Me (KiKi) -26 days *Patricia -working her butt off! :-) *StrangeAngel-working her butt off too!!! :-) *Pams -26 days *GoldenSands -27 days *CurlyGirl -36 days *KeepNitreal -33 days *BlackBirdFly -27 days *Noolan -22 days *SwimKim - 17 days *MeShelly -27 days *Thumbelina -42 days *WalkTheLine-21 days *Supertired -16 days *Max74 -41 days *DariaM -5 days *ForeverFuzzy -22 days *Jemma44 -33 days *Blondsober -19 days *Snowvelvet -37 days *GoldCoastGirl -20 days *Badger257 -27 days *Odelle -20 days *Tufty13 -40 days *TryinginTexas - 27 days *Onetimeless -35 days *Chicklet -4 days *Dallow - 19 days *Learntofly -48 days *Faithfulandfree - 13 days *Tootsiesdad -33 days *SoberMarathon -19 days *Introspectator- 26 days *RedAndy -27 days *Rah555 -18 days *Alphonse -24 days *amitranjan04 -17 days *ultradad -5 days *got2stopnow -19 days *Fabat50 -34 days *Enfinthechange -14 days *SilentCinemaFan -14 days *VanillaChaiTea -14 days *Deniselarkin -14 days *Augusta1893 -14 days *Determined82 -14 Days *Mish - 14 days *Missy7 -14 days *Paul37 -13 days *Tatersalad -14 days *IronPhoenix -? days *Dustmeoff -21 days *****REMEMBER***** All we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve... P.S. For those of you who had a slip, we love & care about you. We need you here with us. Please stay. You have become family...CYBER FAMILY! <3 xo |
Day 19 and here comes sober weekend #3. I put in over 12hrs at work last night and on the drive home thought about how nice it would be to drink 1-2 cold beers on the couch to decompress. I'm not sure if that's an AV or just that I like the refreshing taste of cold beer after a long day. Unfortunately, I'm aware of the reality that 2 beers on a Thursday night means 7-10 drinks on a Friday night and then the vicious cycle begins. I'm done with that so no worries. After testing moderation and trying to drink 'normally', as per UltraDad's description, and ultimately failing miserably over the past 5+ years, I know the outcome of that experiment far too well. We don't drink anymore and we're better off for it. Better that we realized it now than any later in life. Great job to everyone, this is worth it, no question! |
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