:dee

D

I don't feel like I see myself as undeserving of happiness -- I've been pursuing things I enjoy -- swimming, volunteering at the new Humane Society, which I love. Putting together a handmade travel themed journal, reading.

I am afraid of failing though. But I'll be honest and admit that I am really daunted by the prospect of never again experiencing the alcohol buzz. On the other hand, I have put together reasonably long stretches of sober time, and I do remind myself to take one day at a time, and also that as time passes, living sober becomes the new normal and I miss drinking less. What seems impossible when I think of it in terms of the rest of my life seems very doable when I think about one day at a time. And having this place to come to makes it easier as well.

Just out of curiosity, what do you think it was about the outpatient program that did the trick?

I am so grateful for your support and encouragement. You are lovely.

You too, trachy!

I'm pretty sure we had this conversation before so excuse me if I repeat myself :)

there are joys out there that make the alcohol buzz look pathetic.
You need to give yourself a chance to experience those MeSo.

It means not only staying sober for an extended period of time but also working towards building a sober life you love.

If I'm reading you right not much happened on the next sober life building stage?

Abstinence should never feel like a prison sentence...y'know? :)

D

MeSo, the outpatient program was 3 mornings per week, 3 hours each time. The whole thing lasted a little over 3 months. We did a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, motivational work and mindfulness. We worked on developing useful skills to help us stay sober. I think it was a combination of things that helped me. Making the program as the key focus of my life for 3 months was critical. Learning those specific skills helped a good deal. We did some work around the cycle of relapse and strategies for dealing with each stage in the cycle. After the program, I felt much less helpless.

Instead of feeling that the choices were sobriety or nothing, I learned that there are methods for dealing with cravings and even slips. T hey explained that a slip didn't have to lead to a complete reversion. With the right tools, it is possible to get ourselves past a brief slip. I had one slip about a month or two ago and it was quite brief. I immediately went to see my pdoc and we discussed options.

SR has been a great help as has AA but those were not enough to get me past the worst of it.

MeSo, when I quit cigarettes, I couldn't deal with the idea of never smoking again. I got through quitting by thinking that "if I ever developed an fatal disease I would let myself smoke again". That helped me through the tough parts and eventually I realized that I wasn't interested in ever starting again -- but that was after about a year or two when I was reaping the benefits. I still don't promise myself that I won't ever drink again. Instead I decide I will not drink today. It's the only way I can deal with it for now.

Quick :wavey: Mesoso, good to see you looking for support.


Gilmer I hope the transfer to facilities goes well with your dad

Must dash, I'm late for work will check in later xx

Ummm, what Dee said Sass. :dee:dee

MeSo looking back I realise now that the alcoholic buzz was a fleeting ephemeral thing, it is about the best thing about drinking that buzz but it's kind of nothing

For me nothing compares with waking up in the morning knowing I'm well, knowing I'm going to stay well all day, knowing that I can do anything. There are so many buzzes, real buzzes in everyday life. Nothing compares to laughing because something is really funny, it's not just your high self being super sensitive to emotion. There is nothing like the buzz of experiencing music that touches your soul when you're sober and the buzz from the peace and clarity of mind is incomparable.

I get an enormous buzz out of knowing that I don't just react, I think.

I get a buzz knowing that although it's almost 9,30pm, I could walk out the door now and drive wherever I wanted, that could never have happened when I was drinking.

In the early days I think we focus on what we are giving up, it seems like you are giving something precious away as if you'll never be the same again. You are giving something away...the shackles. And you won't ever be the same again because you give up the slavery to addiction and get to be who you were really meant to be.

If all that sounds to good to be true it's because it almost is. That thing we were looking for in the bottle (of alcohol or pills) was always there all the time, except it was outside the bottle not in it.

You don't mess with an Aussie's show costume, didn't you guys see Priscilla, Queen of the Desert?

Oh my!

Marcher, beautifully said about the true buzz from natural highs! Now that I've heard the explanation of how the alcohol buzz is created, it holds far less attraction for me.

Marcher and Gilmer, thanks for the link and video,. :lmao
Aussies seem like a rather wild crowd, lol!

The helper and her supervisor came at 8 this morning. I assumed my dad was still asleep.

When we entered his apartment we saw a broken window, a broken nightstand, and a million shards of glass. My dad had crawled to a chair and was kneeling on the floor slumped over it naked. His elbow was bleeding all over the place.

I was in shock! Damage like this had never happened before. I just stood there staring slack-jawed at the disaster. In a stupor I started picking up the bigger pieces of glass, carrying them aimlessly back and forth. The supervisor swooped in and worked with enormous efficiency--then she promptly vacuumed the whole place up. The helper got my dad clean, took him to the bathroom, and got him dressed. She even combed his hair!

A couple hours later he was conversational, lucid, and downright chipper!

But that just proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's not safe here.

I made a couple phonecalls and got the show on the road with the new hospice and hospital bed--and the deal is done. At this time tomorrow I'll be driving him to his new home.

I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for standing by me during these months and giving me unconditional support. It has meant a great deal to me. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to come on here and vent.

You guys on this thread have been my lifeline to sanity! Thank you very, very much. :grouphug:

(((Gilmer)))!!! I can't even imagine how horrible that must have been for you! It's especially good that all of this was in progress so the change can happen sooner. I'll be thinking of you as you get through the next few days. It's scary to realize just how quickly things can change. Please take good care of yourself.

Gilmer I am so sorry about what happened this morning, stay strong.

MeSo, glad to see you back, sad to see you are still stuggling. Do what you need to do for yourself, if nothing has been working, try something else. Take the best parts of what you've tried and incorporate them into a new plan. You are worth it, the buzz isn't.

On the ID theft front, the cable company in Chicago actually called me yesterday to verify the info that I had sent them, so , hopefully this will get sorted out quickly.

Hello Meso!
I am so busy at the present time all I could say to my fellow Marchers is hi! and have a wonderful day... will catch up later!

That must be a big relief, Budd! I'm glad they're getting to the bottom of it!

Gilmer: So thankful that your father will be getting the quality care he needs and you get to live the life you deserve... you had a lot going on for quite some time... I hope you will now be able to relax and enjoy the extra free time you will now have.

I have been super busy since Seraphina, her mom, and her dad moved in with me last week. They are having a new home built, and had to have their home sold first, so will be with me until September/October.

I have the space: mom and dad get their own bedroom/bathroom, and S has her bedroom next to mine. However, the monitor is in mom's room, as I do not take care of her in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. She loves to spend time in my room, and scratches at my door when I am reading or watching TV. She is so adorable, and is adjusting well to this change. My daughter is now in charge of providing our dinner meal - cooking or going out, and I am so enjoying the company. I feel so blessed to have this chance to really bond with Seraphina and be a part of her life. The days go by much faster, so if I am not around the Marchers forum, checking in every day, it is b/c of the time I spend with my family.
I am so grateful to be sober, as this would not even be a possibility if I was drinking or taking pills, as my son in law especially has zero tolerance for substance abusers. So, thank you Marchers, for being a key support in my sobriety.

Sounds like you've got a wonderful family unit, and it is a blessing that you've got the space to accommodate everybody comfortably. Sounds like a very nice mutual effort to live a good life!

1day, lovely that you are getting a chance to spend more time with S without having night duty :-)

"the monitor"? As in monitor lizard?

Good morning marchers :) A special hello to Gilmer and a big hug for you my sweet, what a thing to walk into. I'm dreadfully sorry it happened but at least now you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the best decision, the only decision for your dear Dad. Gilmer, I think that in many ways our generation and our parents' is charting new waters, this is the first time that so many from a generation have lived to be so old. We don't have learned family models of what to do, we have to work it out as we go.

Kenny I am glad the id theft thing is getting sorted.

1Day it's lovely to hear you feeling so happy with your family.

MeSo how goes it today?

Have a good day peeps.

Aussie monitor lizard for Trachy

https://mr-travl.com/img/BookArticle...hitsundays.jpg

(((Gilmer)))

I'm glad you and your dad are ok and that he'll be getting the help he needs :)

D

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII want one!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII want one!

I really do want more cold-blooded pets. That's why the two marriages.

:lmao

Trachy!!!! I wonder what your ex-s would compare you to if they were to be asked... and, I was referring to a "baby" monitor... so that any little peep she makes is electronically sent to her parents... this is one of those times I am grateful to be hard of hearing.

Oh, Gilmer, how glad I am you had help there when that happened, and you obviously did the right thing getting prepared. I hope the transition goes smoothly for him, I am so glad we were able to be here for you and that you drew such comfort from our friendship here. I have always felt that the Marchers come into their own when a comrade in arms needs us.

1day how lovely! My daughter and GSon have stayed with us 3 or 4 times now, between moves for anything from a week or two to several months. It's always lovely to get closer to my daughter and see more of my GSon. That said, by the time they leave, I am happy to get my space back!

Had to google Thunder from Down Under ( I didn't imagine it was a show about uncontrollable flatulance which is what it sounds as if it would be...) oh boy! More six packs than an offie I bet their budgie smugglers are on show regularly throughout!

Sass let us know how your daughter enjoys the show! I wonder if she has a front row seat, she may get more than she bargained for!

Trachy, cold blooded creatures like to bask in the sun, did you take your ol' ladies on holiday??

Saw my MIL last eve, she is doing so much better. Managed to complain herself into a single room being as they wont let her leave yet, she hopes to get out for a few hours Saturday, knowing her she will refuse point blank to return! Lol we no longer worry about her making a full recovery, just for our sanity in the process!!

Toots, good to hear that your MIL is doing well! She sounds like an irascable lady :-).

Yes, I agree that the Marchers are wonderfully supportive. It's so comforting to know that we can come here anytime and find support, solace, a cheering section, etc. How did I get to be so lucky!
:You_Rock_