Class of August 2014 Part 16
 

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-15-a-20.html

D

Thanks Dee!

Wild Night. I mistakenly tasted alcohol- yet all is good. I'll explain.

I was at an "80's" night company gathering. Wild costumes, 80's music, 80's video games, etc. Open bar, passed 80's drinks, etc.

I stayed for about an hour and decided to have a "Risky Business" (80's Movie) chocolate mini-cake on the way out. I took a bite and something 'popped' in my mouth. I felt a sting of alcohol and went back to the dessert table with the bite still in my mouth. I read the description of the cake: 'Chocalate cake with truffle and brandied cherries'.

This is totally my fault. I assumed that the description would say 'contains gluten' or something. Everything at my meetings has descriptions. Even the fruit says 'gluten free'. One stops paying attention unless they have allergies. Lesson learned!

Anyway, now I have a dilemma. I know myself and my journey well enough to understand that swallowing the bite will not make me order a drink. And if I did swallow the bite I would not consider myself at day 1 of my quest.

But it's the principal of the thing. I can't get to the bathroom without risking running into someone who wants to talk. So I go to the coffee stand grab a cup, and spit it out.

From now on I'll be aware of the double entendres of desserts named for 1980's movies!

Hope everyone's days were less eventful!

I wouldn't think too much more on it Ultra - you made a mistake and then responded appropriately, as I see it :)

D

Ultra, you are still firmly on track so no worries! The fact that you noticed the foul taste and knew something was wrong proves how innately against alcohol you are and always will be!!
I have had similar situations (with chocolates filled with liquer which I almost ate), but even had I taken a bite I would never consider myself back at day 1 we've come too far. It was an honest mistake.
You are a shining beacon for this team my friend !!!!

Thanks folks- totally no worries on my end!

I have a beef hot pot at work when I do a late shift. I have had this once a month forever. Asked for the ingredients this so I could work out the calorie content for my current diet, and it has red wine I the gravy. Doh. I do not class this as my 5 months over, I couldn't taste ie, and was none the wiser. Obviously now I no, my psyche will never let me order it again. It happens, and I'm not fussed about this one. Ive esten 3 since ive been sober 5 months 1 week, without realising. Do you now see me as a failure? Ultra, the coffee cup was a genius call, real proud of you!

Funky Friday can I count it off!! Get on up!

Too funny ultra. Funny how free drinking in the bar all night in the past would have been a bit different. That chocolate with a spike would have been eaten without even knowing anything was in it. Now you notice. Well played. Sober muscles buffed a bit.

I about to go make a drink of wheatgrass I will officially name "sober sunrise" here's to ya!

Today's thought;

"Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears." Laird Hamilton.

Swing for the fence. Every time.

Good morning,

Chris and Glandon, I was very happy to see your posts and to read that you are both doing well. Please keep dropping a line when you have a chance. We all care about every member of the team. BUG HUGS!

Pink, I am very impressed with how you have dealt with one medical issue after another the past few months.

Grateful, we seem to be getting the same weather you get, only a few days later. I have at least 30 inches still on the ground after another 2 or 3 yesterday, and most forecasts are predicting 12 more inches from Sunday to Tuesday. I have had it with snow this year.

Ultra, I have a recipe for a cake with brandied cherries that uses brandy extract or brandy flavoring, not the real thing. But, whether it was real brandy or not, you certainly had a great response. I don't know if I would have thought of the coffee cup; but, that definitely does not count for breaking sobriety. And, it may not have even been the real thing.

1Step, keep it up!

Choobie, how are you feeling?

Determined, another great quote.

Cute, how are you doing? EE??

Have a wonderful day everyone. Keep on keeping on!

Pink, I think were all aligned on the fact that intention is a key factor in breaking our sobriety.

Even had I swallowed the bite I wouldn't be beating myself up, nor revising my sober date, nor ordering a drink (or grabbing one from one of the many servers walking around with trays full of them!).

It was just a 'principal' thing for me. You mentioned your psyche won't let you order the dish again. Same idea: we don't drink so once we realize something has alcohol in it, we make adjustments.

It's wild to see how I (and all of us- regardless of a "number") have, and continue to evolve.

Feeling better-thanks Scooter! My son keeps bringing new bugs home from school for me to try out.

So happy to hear from everyone! Keep posting, please!

Gotta run-

This morning I am grateful for:
having found the peace of sobriety
being ill and realizing how great I do feel everyday now that I'm sober
a full night of sleep
a clear way out of every temptation
Making a fort with my son after work instead of pouring a drink
ample opportunities to help my family and community

See ya later!

Yey - new thread! I am out and about with work but will check in a little later - all is good :-)

So there are a tremendous amount of really hung over folks this morning. Swaying, avoiding eye contact, copious liquids, comments about how they didn't eat enough, ect.

Glad to be on the other side (even if it means choosing to pass on the Risky Business cake!).

I LOVE "the morning after" as a sober person. I really noticed it on New Year's Day! I was so chipper and awake and fresh and everyone around me was so hung over and dragging (and some even started drinking Mimosas to "get over" the hangover! -- what a vicious cycle it is so liberating to be FREE from that prison!).

Ultra - I had the same thing over Xmas when someone brought in some home made mince pies, I started to feel lightheaded thinking "hang on, this is lift off, I remember this" asked and the person laughed and said that yes she may have gone abit overboard on the brandy - yeh, cheers love - very funny...

Hi team. A quick check in. Been out of pocket lately as I'm attempting to cross the finish line on my move. Plan is to sign closing papers next Fri and hit the road Sat like the Clampets with wife, two dogs, a loaded truck and trailered motorcycle. Then it's a 3-4 day wait on the movers. Got a futon, a TV, a few linens and kitchenware while we wait (very collegiate).

Attempted to bring the bike back last weekend by loading into a uhaul. Almost a very Johnny Knoxville moment. Bike is in one piece but I came out with a sprained knee. Never, ever, ever consider riding your motorcycle into the back of a uhaul. Even if I'd given thought to ground clearance past the lip of the ramp, momentum and traction are also mission critical. Suffice it to say all these things did not work in my favor. Plenty of youtube videos demonstrating likely outcomes far worse than mine. I got lucky. Very lucky.

So no real visits from the AV that I can tell. I'm a little emo but I think that's just due to the craziness of being in temporary accommodations for a month and a half and being banged up from my dumb ass attempt. Right then, catch you later team. I'll probably check in this weekend as I try to rest and mend.

Hey all

Hope everyone is doing good.

I had a relaxed evening last night - six nations rugby and a film.

I am aouth and about in London today doing AA this morning and another this afternoon. I have been doing 2 Saturday meetings for the last six months but after this week going to just attend the morning one. I have AA at two weekly meetings then, but can step up again anytime :-)

Hoping everyone has a great sober Saturday. Still doesn't get boring a sober wake up. I do need my Starbucks today though

Shining star Saturday! Clear mind and rise and shine. Nothing beats it!

So, someone said to me yesterday when I said I don't plan on drinking again. Ever. I got the, seriously I don't understand why you just can't have a few socially. You weren't that bad, you just take everything to the extreme. Even this sober thing. I even got the, I like the drinking determined better.

This pissed me off, from a supposed friend. You would think you would get a wow, six months, that is incredible. But instead, the connotation was I was ridiculous and socially awkward. This sent my AV on a full on attack. I doubted the straight edge choice, glamorized the good times and thought about moderation, that misnomer of misnomers.

I realized that this person must be jealous or not truly care for my best interest or both.

I love my choice. I am freaking proud of it. I think that people like us who actually beat the devil and are proud of it can be intimidating on a few levels. We look much deeper into eyes now. We comprehend and think quicker. We are physically stronger. We look better. We laugh louder. We love deeper. And if you should challenge us, we will eat you for breakfast.

My resolve is stronger now because of this exchange yesterday. I will never again bang my head on the gate to happiness, screaming to be let in. I have the key. I opened the gate. I walked into the sun. And then I shut it behind me.

"If you can take it, you can make it." Louis Zamperini.

Freedom.

Determined your post actually just sent shivers down my spine. Amazing attitude, love you so bloody much for that! Xx

Thanks pink! You just made my morning. Truly did.

Good morning,

Great post, Determined.

I have been asked a few times if I wanted a drink, and I always say no, I am really watching my calories....then, I preceed to eat everything in sight! But, I am down 22 pounds, and my skin and hair look much, much better.

Unfortunately, I had SEVEN phone calls from my brother yesterday, and two already this morning. She now wants him to move out and let her keep the house. He said he is considering renting it to her. I told him ABSOLUTELY NOT, she will never give him a penny, he will not throw his three kids out, and he will be paying for a huge home he does not live in, PLUS paying wherever he does live.

His phone calls literally make me sick - bathroom visit after visit. I tell him the same things over and over; the calls keep up for a few days; I don't hear from him for a few weeks during which time I am on edge, then they start again. Today I told him I think he will be better off divorced and so will the kids be instead of living with the constant tension. Hell, I can't stand it, and I am nowhere near them. I also told him it is time for him to tell the rest of the family - of course, I said that in the hope he would start calling others instead of just me.

So, I am miserable and very much on edge today - - but, I am sober - - Today is Day 176 - racing toward my six month mark on the 16th. Unfortunately, I am at a point where I cannot even enjoy myself - all I can think of is my brother in Dallas. I worry about him every day, but when he phones so emotionally confused and sad, I just don't know what to do. I listen, offer suggestions which he does not follow, and then it repeats itself. He still has not gone to his doctor like I suggest every time he calls - starting in October; he still has not opened his own bank account; he still has not contacted a Dallas attorney; he still has not talked to my other brothers or adult nephews.

I am very sad, fighting tears, waiting for the phone to ring as I know it will.

Please send thoughts and prayers to both of us.

Excellent determined!

I was thinking about the subject of moderation last week (not doing it- just the topic). I asked myself, hypothetically, if I could moderate now that I have a different take on alcohol.

My answer: maybe. Even if I had the desire to try to moderate (I do not) what a huge risk with very limited return to prove (to who? And why?) that I can change my previous habits.

Sorry youre going through tough times concerning your brother Scooterboo, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Feeling pretty low today after a really positive day yesterday, always feel sad and empty when I have taken my girls back to my ex's, its a cold miserable February evening, I don't want to drink I just don't want to feel sad. I know it will pass, there are no meetings local to me tonight and that makes me miss having a vehicle even more. Going to call some AA friends after, there is a meeting early tomorrow so its just a case of getting through the night- just ate a massive pizza- so not back on the healthy track yet!

:hug:
Hey A team!

Scooter and 1step, and anyone else in need,sending prayers your way.
I'm in December class, and have a few days here and there. Still trying.
Just stopping by to say hi. You guys are awesome!

Thoughts and prayers to scooter and 1 step. Drinking is the last thing you guys need to day, you can do this, sending you thoughts, love and hugs xxx

Doing something. Love your story! Hope you're ok after your stunt 😊 really hope you get moved and settled quickly, must be a bit of a nightmare living like a student at the mo, hope it all, sorts out quickly xxx

So I'm out with so normal drinking people who all order a glass of wine or a cocktail before dinner. I order my usual soda water with a splash of cranberry and oj (I really do love it - especially the free refills). The guy across from me is baffled by my drink. "What is that?" he says. I tell him the ingredients. "It doesn't have any alcohol? Really? Does it have a name?" I told him I just call it "my usual". People's reaction to not drinking is funny. Even light drinkers are taken aback by non-hootch drinkers.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it sometimes. I even have thoughts some days that it's a real bummer I can't whoop it up a little. But I remember that it really was a serious activity for me. It would take up the larger portions of a day (and the next). There was never any "a little". Not to mention, it was beginning to do a job on my mind and body. Which is why we're a part of this community. Many of us are looking at cresting 6 months. It's a big hurdle in recovery and it's important that we stay vigilant. Let's all remember what brought us here - especially the early months, the nose to the grindstone days.

It's a new life for us. Mind that demon cause it's a nasty one.

Don't know how I missed your previous post Scooter. I'm so sorry for your difficult situation and am thinking of you.

(((ScooterBoo))) My thoughts and prayers are with you and your brother (and his children).

Mostly I am worried about you my friend. I hate to hear that you are so miserable and on edge because of this situation that you have no control over. I am happy to hear that you suggested he tell the rest of the family. I can speak from experience that my children are much happier now that we are divorced because it is much better than when they were living in a house full of tension.

Hope tomorrow is better.

:ring

big hugs *SCOOTER*