Babs- I was thinking of going to a meeting tonight but my kids have so much homework. I only have time for Alanon on Thursdays. I would go to one if you have time. It's so worth while. You always feel better after a meeting!!!

Welcome Petals! Tell us about you.

Hi ladies...

Welcome to the group Petals!! Feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with...all the women here are so very supportive!

I am sober 17 months almost now, and mom to a 7 year old (going on 8) girl. She is my world, but sadly I drank too much for the first 6 years of her life. I am a much better mom now that she has me fully present!

Hi Lucy...congrats on 7 months! So proud of you..you have done remarkably well in the face if all the added stress you have had. It's a testament to your strength!

Hi to you all...Lady, Babs, Bebetter...and everyone else too:-)

Hey all!

lucy - congrats on 7 months!!

welcome petals! I am mom to a 2 and 5 year old, and am 14 months sober. This is my second longest stint in sobriety, but I consider it my longest, since the time I was 2.5 years sober included a pregnancy, and I've always easily been able to quit while pregnant. This one is "all about me" if that makes sense.

Had a mammo on Monday for some breast pain I've been having, and all is well. It felt kind of good (after getting the good results) to get that done and know I'm well in that department. I've still been a little off in my moods - one day, I feel totally normal, the next, some of that anxiety creeps back in. Blah. I don't know why it seems like since I've been sober, my body has been giving me a lot more grief. Maybe it's because I don't drown away my hypochondriac kind of thoughts in booze? Whatever it is, I feel like I'm only 36, and don't want to always be worrying about my health. I have DECADES ahead to do that! I've been a little sad these past 2 days, really missing my girl at kindergarten. It doesn't feel healthy to me to feel this way. I worry when both my girls are in school that I'm going to really go through the ringer, and it makes me sad that I doubt we will have any more children, and my last pregnancy was a loss. I kind of wish I had just been happy with 2 and never tried again. :(

Hi Moms,

Had a day off today to do my annual clearing out of my daughters toys, stuffed animals etc., and I am horrified to say I filled 9 large garbage bags!!! Ugh, how did we accumulate this much stuff????

Bebetter...fellow hypochondriac here. I always get a pain in my left breast, and it used to freak me out, but I also got checked out and all was well. I also began to notice I got the pain around my period and when I was ovulating, so chalking it up to hormones.

Well off to my pile of ironing:-)

Hi all, just wanted to say hello and glad I found you all.

Hi Sky2012 and welcome! Tell us a little about yourself when you are ready. I am a mom to a 4.5 yr old little girl with another (girl) on the way! Have been sober now for almost 6 months, granted it has much easier for me being pregnant, but I am still loving my sober life and I hope I never let myself go back to that awful place alcohol took me. Lots of support here!

Thanks Ladybug, lovely warm welcome!! I am a mother of 2 daughter 22months and 4 months. I guess the story of me ending up here is probably very similar to many of you, I am 15 days sober and 15 days ago I looked at my daughters and realised that I could not be a role model to them while drinking even if it is when they went to bed. I feel that it is hard enough to bring up girls ( and boys!) and to instil in them self-confidence and esteem to help fulfil their true potential and function as healthy adults without having a mother that is an alcoholic. I grew up with one and I am very aware of the devastation emotionally it caused me. So here I am, I am still very shy in regards to sharing my experience and I think years of alcohol abuse has wrecked my self- confidence. So thank you for asking me to share, it feels good actually!! I feel like I am doing ok and I am grateful to be able to play and engage with my daughters in the morning without feeling like hell but also I am flooded with emotions which I think years of alcohol abuse have numbed. I guess I am feeling lots of guilt and shame at some of the very poor decisions and choices I have made, I am hoping these feelings will subside soon so that I can forgive myself and move forward with my life. Here's to living!! Hope you are lovely day.

Welcome Sky!!!!!!

It's so great to have some serious longevity on here with Dolly and Bebetter. I really appreciate everyone's journey no matter how many days sober you have and about any relapses for that matter so that we can all grow from them.

I really do find honesty is the key to sobriety. It's painful but it's a must. You have to share your truth be to set free.

I've really had to detach lately from my hubby's off and on sobriety to keep mine in tact. It just reinforces my experience as a sober person even more. I no longer have to go to the grocery store and be embarrassed buying it. I can drive a car at any hour of the day safely and I have all the energy in the evenings to do homework with the kids.

I used to get drowsy from drinking while helping with homework. That's so lame! I didn't spend the amount of time I should have with them.

I'd also got so jealous when I was drunk. I was the one most of the time causing all the fights. I'd bring up old wounds and not let them go. So toxic.

With it being September 11th I'm in a bit of a solemn mood. Bless those poor people killed that day.

My hubby went into the city this week for work and to give me space. I've really missed him but I needed him to be honest with his sobriety. He creates so much chaos. But this time I sent him away before it affected me and the kids. It was so hard knowing he needed my help. But he's an adult and is in charge of his own sobriety. I can't do it for him. Detachment is key.

This year may be a rocky one. And I'm just doing the best that I can for my entire family. I believe when someone is really trying to get well, there is space in my heart for patience and understanding.

Today I was thinking, Gosh I can't imagine if someone was down my throat with my sobriety. It would truly make me want to drink more. I've got to really back off. I can't wait for my Alan-on meeting tonight! Lol

This was ALL my idea. This sobriety thing for myself. I attempted it several times for several months before. I'm so thankful this time it has stuck in my brain and that this is what works for ME!

God bless you hypochondriacs! It seems like when life is going swimmingly we make drama!

Happy Thursday!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Sky!

Congrats on 15 days, and so glad you are joining us. I am mom to a 7 year old daughter, and I knew for a while I was an alcoholic...after all, it's difficult to deny that fact when you find yourself drinking a nip if brandy in the bathroom stall at work!:-(.

Of course me realizing I was an alcoholic didn't immediately translate into me quitting. My drinking was done primarily at home, so not many knew the extent, except my husband and he never complained it said a word about my drinking.

It wasn't until the one night he finally did confront me, and voice his concerns, that I finally quit. I knew that day was coming, and I almost welcomed it. It had gotten to the point that I no longer "enjoyed" drinking, and was partly relieved I would finally be "forced" to quit.

Anyway, that was April 29, 2013, and I haven't had a drink since.

I too struggled with feelings if guilt over my poor decisions and how they affected my family..especially my daughter. I can tell you it does get better with time. I don't have those feelings very much anymore. Although I do occasionally recall something I did drinking, an cringe a bit, for the most part I am now so happy with my life and proud of the mom I really am sans the alcohol!

Anyway...feel free to post often...someone here is usually here to listen, and feel free to PM me with anything too.

Welcome again!:-)

Thank you Lucygoose.
Thank you Dolly that means a lot!

Hi Sky - I am mom to two girls, ages 2 and 5. I quit drinking on June 30, 2013. I definitely still have those cringe-worthy memories that Dolly mentioned... but they are a good reminder to me why I keep my sobriety up. I rarely have cravings anymore, but like (I think) Babs said, I keep my eye on the disease. A few days ago, I was driving in town and just feeling fantastic, and I had a fleeting desire for a bottle of white wine. Those types of fleeting cravings are easy for me to dismiss now, with some quick thoughts to what happens after the bottle is done... hangover, disappointment and shame, doubt and lacking self-esteem. Totally not worth it anymore. I've been myself now for a while, and I think I'm just fine without the buzz. I do wish I could have a drink now and then like a normal person, but that desire is so false. I've NEVER wanted ONE drink now and then, and I am too aware that one drink will either put me right back where I started, or at the very least, open the door to that mental war I've always had with alcohol - I don't want to fight that fight again.

hello
 

Hi girls,

It's been a few weeks since I posted last. I'm doing fine, still sober. It's been a really busy time with schedules changes and additional activities.

Welcome to the newbies. I am a mom of a 10 year old and 8 year old. I had my last drink 87 days ago. I am glad to not have to worry about being drunk at night and having a possible emergency where I couldn't drive my kids anywhere. I'm glad to not have to arrange my schedule around wine or being really angry if I couldn't incorporate wine into my nightly scene. I'm glad to be more available for my girls and not wishing their bedtime would hurry up and get here. The cravings still come....usually as a visual of me downing a huge bottle of wine :) When they come now, I am able to just be, and remind myself they are not real...physically anyway. I usually say, "just let it wash over you, they will be gone soon." It does still annoy the daylights out of me that I can't drink like "normal" people. However, I have experienced things as a child that "normal" people haven't. When I can identify the cravings as a need to self medicate, it makes it easier.

I have started becoming more comfortable with sharing my drinking issue with a few close friends. It feels good to be honest and have them be wonderful and supportive.

Hello thanks for sharing I'm a mother of a 13 yr old girl yea she just turned 13 thought I'd better wake up and pay attention sad to say it took so long I'm still in denial about damage control cuz i was an alcoholic who waited till 5 pm and drank into the night she knew... she knows I just got out of rehab for drinking cuz i want to be well but had no option except I hope u make friends mommy cuz i went 1000 miles away to 30 day rehab.see I'm going thru a divorce and here she old enough to choose where she wants to live..she choose him although he has mentally emotionally and physically abused me..I left March 2014... My step son was core of alot of our problems he 20 he has no job failed out 2 college. Smokes weed lays on couch with his gf and dead head friends hung over all day with no n life house a filthy wreck and he steals all my stuff stole all my gold and his dad never did a thing so situation was bad...but I was stay at home mom I had no money I was controlled. . I had no where to go really but a small camper and by then he brain washed my daughter him and his son that I was the bad person so she would not leave...as any good mother would do u be concerned and afraid to leave ur daughter in that chaos wit the step son and at this point she has seen and heard her dad dis repect me so much she had no respect for me wouldn't listen didn't even seen bothered by my tears Ikr... so I stayed and put up wit the crap course drinking cuz i couldn't deal wit that straight just straight up disrespect after changing both those kids diapers my step son his mom gave him to us at age 4 so I've had that problem and his dad won't let me do nothing after 17 yrs of taking care of him anyway I had to stay until my daughter started her period at least..thankfully she did b4 the last straw when kody robbed me again and I went off to his dad about it kody was out spending my money well my husband jumped up and put his hands on me the last time......march14...I left..an lived in sm camper no water an my daughter did not even care...now today I made him rent me a house I live alone I'm hurt I'm sober...I'm lonely... what is God's plan for me...my daughter coming around but she seeing I won't let her or him treat me like dirt no more.. He broke my heart I think I still Love him cuz i don't want to loose my family and miss her life cuz of him..... Please help Me

Hi moms...

Welcome Bubbles. So sorry you are dealing with so much, but staying sober is the best way to deal with and heal from all that. Showing your daughter how strong you can be will be a wonderful lesson that we are all worth having the very best life possible.

You will find tons of support here, so I hope you stay with us:-)

Hi to you 21reeves...glad to see you back and so happy to hear you are doing well. I hear ya on the busy schedules...this time of year is nuts for us too:-)

Thank u for ur kind words cuz it's hard to stay sober in all this with all the pain and heart break and loneliness but I know God brought me to it he bring me thru it..... I will be here alot thanks ;)

So today I thought I'd surprise my daughter her name is Desi with tickets to Katie perry she has no idea yet I know she want to bring a friend at 13 but I'd like it to be a mom and daughter thing what u think? ???

Bubbles that sounds like an amazing girls night! My daughter who is now 10 wanted to go to the Katie Perry concert. I think you are making the right choices and I'm proud of you. You have so much to face right now and it's amazing you are facing it sober!!!!! Keep on keeping on.

Last night my hubby and I went out to meet another couple for dinner. Only one of us drinks. Honestly it was all about the person drinking. We all just watched her down 3 glasses of wine. And we ended up paying for her. I was super annoyed. Jealous she was the only one having fun. The music was too loud to chat and the food was late. I watched a bit if the SFO giants game but the rest was boring as hell. I've got to figure our funner things to do then what we used to do. I wanted to go home the entire evening. And today since I was out late I slept poorly and feel a bit hung over. Maybe I can't be around other people when they drink even after 7 months sober. It just makes me feel boring. I'd rather be in my jammies with my animals and kids going to bed early. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently.

Have a great sober Saturday everyone:))))

Love u peeps today :*)

Hi all...

Bubbles...that sounds like a wonderful idea, and I agree it would be extra special to have it be a mom/daughter night:-). Keep up the great work!

Lucy...I hear ya! I still sometimes get annoyed when out with people "partying", and often feel the same way...just want to be home. I think sometimes we push ourselves to be in "normal" situations, and get bummed out when it makes us feel uncomfortable, because we want to feel normal just without the alcohol.

I think we have to train ourselves that those times are not really normal...not for a lot if people...our bodies are used to a life of no alcohol now, but our minds just take a little longer to catch up.

Nothing wrong with wanting to be home in Jammie's...nothing at all:-).

That is what I am doing tonight...Jammie's and relaxing:-)

Hi everybody! I joined SR a month ago, and have been meaning to come hang out here ever since.
I am 37, married with 4 kids - 14, 9, 8, & 6. They are the only positive things to come from my drinking, haha, if you know what I mean...

I have 2 months sober today, so that's neat. I was reading back in this thread about the camping thing, what a trigger it is. I think that was one of my first thoughts when I decided to quit this time "how will I be able to go camping?". Sounds so lame, but it's true. And we didn't camp this summer, mainly because I didn't want to, so that makes me feel kinda bad. And I know, what's a couple of camping trips compared to me not being a drunk for my kids...

Well, I may be rambling now :). Just wanted to say hello and thanks for being here!

Happy Saturday, ladies!

Welcome Bubbles and bluehour. It's good to have moms joining us on this path!

Bubbles - What you are going through sounds like a real trial, and I hope it eases up on you soon. It's so hard to face everything sober, after having drank away those awful feelings and situations in the past. I haven't been through what you have, and I know you are strong to be here on the other side, working through it.

Blue - Wow on 4 kids! I'm jealous, really.... I always wanted 4 kids (well, since I've wanted kids. I used to want NO kids when I was in my mid 20s, because partying was way too central in my life).

I worked today, leaving my girls with hubby, and it poured. I felt bad for them - there wasn't much they could do to really get out and entertain themselves. I woke up with some anxiety and had a brief craving for beer at work (weird! my flash cravings come at the oddest times!). I've had a few times in the past few days that I've thought - f this sobriety, asking myself the question, "Is being sober worth all this anxiety/hypochondria?" Because I feel like it's the tradeoff I've made. But maybe it's not a trade. Maybe I'd be anxious AND drunk if I was still drinking. I don't know... I feel like I deserve more. I deserve to feel healthy all the time since I'm taking care of myself. I deserve to feel mentally strong, since I'm doing everything right. And those feelings of "deserving" something are what always got me in trouble with my drinking. "I deserve this margarita - I work hard all day!" But all the same, I'm kind of angry about how I feel right now. There is no reason for this anxiety. I feel like my hormones are nuts. Yesterday, I had big mood swings from feeling amazing to feeling nervous, several times over the course of the day. That is NOT me, and I'm nowhere near my period or anything - in fact, it just ended. I wonder if its normal to feel this way SO long after my sober date. Is it normal to be readjusting at 16 months out, or is this completely unrelated? A friend of mine got off Zoloft about 16 months ago, and says it's only been recently that she feels completely herself again. Can alcohol be similar?

I'm so busy anymore, I can't even imagine drinking like I used to. I guess if I was "normal" I'd be able to drink my little glass of wine with dinner and move on, but that's not a reality I've ever lived.

Welcome Blue!!!!

I understand at how many people are freaked out by camping. I was 5 months sober the first time camping sober.. But I rarely thought of myself that trip since my hubby was so intoxicated. It's deadly for him but for me it's just a lifestyle change I want to keep permanent.

Blue you sound like you are in the right place. Congrats on 2 months! That's the hardest time, at least for me it was. I've got 2 kids a boy 15/ girl 10.

Keep on posting! Believe me whatever you say is not rambling, it's important.

Good luck on the anxiety Bebetter. Hubby is currently on mellow drugs and he's very mellow. Sleeping as we speak.

Dolly- I too am in my jammies!!!!

Sweet dreams loves!

Bubbles~ The only thing I know is the only way you will rebuild your relationship with your family it to do it sober. It will feel wrong at first, but you can do it. You are already doing it! Stay strong and visit here when you need to get it off your chest. All the ladies here are wonderful and always have honest, supportive feedback.

Lucy~ I know I'm early in recovery, but your night sounds horrible! I'm sorry you had to sit through it. Even when I was a drinker, I don't think I would have downed 3 glasses of wine if I was with non-drinkers...well in front of them anyway. I have come to a place where I decided I can't attend events that might trigger or make me feel less than, for at least right now. I don't know when I will get to the place that I can... perhaps never?

I am finishing the book Sober Mercies. It is so good. It is a book about a Christian woman finding her way through drinking, recovery, drinking, and in the end (of the book) discovers and relearns about God and grace.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Hi moms...

Had a lovely day here. I love the fall so much...the crisp air and fall cooking is my favorite! Made a yummy dinner of hazelnut and cranberry stuffed turkey breast, a potato gratin and roasted butternut squash. For dessert I made apple pecan pie cronuts with cream cheese icing and apple cider glaze....feast your eyes on this....OH MY!!!

Dolly that look amazing!!!!!!!

You are quite the baker:-)

Dolly - how do you do it - cook such amazing food and keep the weight loss going? And your food photography (and recipes) should be published!

Yum, gosh that looks delicious!!!

Aw...thanks ladies! Cooking/baking became my hobby after I quit drinking. I was actually a terrible baker until about a year ago. Now I love creating new things!

The weight loss has been successful because I only cook extravagantly on Sunday, and I suppose allowing myself a treat meal and dessert once a week helps keep me on track during the week:-)

adhd medication
 

Thanks for the warm welcome!

Ok I'm just going to jump into it...
We are in the ongoing process of trying to decide whether to try medication for our 9 year old son. I am really not looking for a debate, exactly, just experiences. I don't mind hearing opposing beliefs from each camp, but I already have that going on in my head, constantly, so I don't think it would help much.

Here's what's in my head -

Kids don't need stimulants, they need love and patience.
I have to exhaust every option before I decide to try medication, but some of them are too hard to be realistic for me and my family.
If we don't at least try medication, we will never know.
Kids/adults with ADHD have a 3-4 fold increase in illegal activity when it's not being controlled.
I'm so tired of battling with him and dealing with his effect on the entire family.
It's just wrong to medicate kids who are still developing life skills, how will they learn to cope without medication?
I want him to feel in control of himself, and in turn have a higher self esteem and that is reportedly what the medication can do.
The medications don't work the same forever, maybe we should wait until he is older to start.
What if he stops eating. How would that affect his immune system.
And so on....

I wouldn't even bring it up here, except that it is causing me a lot of stress and uncomfortable feelings.
I haven't been dealing with it lately, but the calls from school are increasing with his new teacher this year.

I want to also say I wouldn't do this 'just for school'. His behavior affects almost everyone he comes in contact with. He is choosing to not participate in family activities where he knows he must behave. It is worrisome, especially because he really is a bright and loving (and lovable) boy.

Has anyone else gone through this?

As far as my sobriety goes - I learned a new trigger. Other people's kids birthday parties. Am I the only one lol? Not participating in any of those again for a while...