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-   -   Moms and Mums Club Part 11 (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-daily-support-threads/340326-moms-mums-club-part-11-a.html)

Dee74 07-28-2014 07:50 PM

Moms and Mums Club Part 11
 
Last part here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-10-a-22.html

D


JustSarah 07-29-2014 12:15 AM

Hey ladies, first of the thread - woohoo :)

Well I'm sat at the hospital as I need to get a chest X-ray for immigration - it's not the most exciting place in the world but at least it's just me, my phone and some magazines. I ended up going to bed in the biggest funk last night. I put my headlines in and watched orange is the new black and barely spoke to the hubby - I know it's all me, and I'm frustrated at myself as I can't find the words to explain to him how I feel. I'm bored of being at home all the time and do frustrated that I can't work, add in the fact that he now sees is as my job to do everything around the house as I 'don't do anything else'. I also feel so uninteresting as I do the same thing daily and we've spent so much time appart since feb that I currently find it easier when he's away - I get to miss him and only have 2 kids to look after - he comes home and It's all just a bit flat emotionally and chaotic in the house.

Sorry if this post is all over the shop - I feel a bit messy. I'm going to go in a huge walk with the small one when I get home and try and walk the frustration out of me

Catch you all later xxxxx

GettingMeBack1 07-29-2014 02:54 AM

Hi ladies,
I can totally relate to the relationship issues. I think I mentioned earlier that I've been having some real doozies with hubby since tackling my alcohol issues. When I take away the self medicating of my stresses, I realise a lot more what I'm not happy with between us. And yes, relationships go through ups and downs and hopefully we're able to change in ways which bring us back together again and not just further apart. But of course that's not always going to be possible. I hope you find ways to reconnect Dolly.
Sometimes I feel like my husband treats me like a flatmate and not a lover. I am really missing the intimacy we had before we had kids. Both the physical, but also emotional intimacy we had. Sometimes I feel like to him I'm just a piece of furniture that cooks and babysits.
Sarah - I really relate to the frustration of being 'home' all day and having a guy who expects that I do everything because I'm not working. It took me a long time to get my hubby to ackowledge that being home with kids all day IS work - full time. And therefore we should split the 'house' work between us. It never really happened, and now I'm back working full time as well he still expects me to do it, even though many days he works from home and I don't. Of course he would never say he expects it from me, but the reality is if I don't do it, it doesn't get done. Fortunately my counsellor now is an old school feminist! She's helping me to really start setting some boundaries and demand more participation from my husband.
How are you dealing with the isolation? I don't know how you're doing it in Sth Africa, but I know I find it hard living in a country that's not my home, away from my networks etc.
Anyway. I'm also a little down today - feeling unmotivated and crappy and not wanting to (again) do all the cleaning up etc on my day off. Sigh.
Good luck to all of us.

SoberLife2014 07-29-2014 07:32 AM

Good morning ladies,

Sounds like there are a lot of relationship issues going on. I think just about everything that has been said I can relate to. Unfortunately I'm not very good at giving out any sort of relationship advice so I'm not even going to try. But I will say that we just can't control the other person. All we can do is control ourselves and communicate what we want and don't want then go from there. Easier said than done, I know.

I hope everyone is doing well otherwise. I'm just taking it easy today. I haven't been feeling well lately. I've been feeling really drained and a little under the weather. Tired, sore throat, achy muscles. I thought I was getting my baby's illness, and maybe I still am, but I haven't gotten any worse over the past few days. I think I've just been over doing it. Giving all my energy to my baby, the house, hubby, etc. I need to recharge my batteries, so despite there are things that I think I need to do, I am forcing myself to take it easy today. No cleaning other than the dishes. Dinner will be something easy. I'll take a trip to the store because we are out of absolutely everything.

I've also been having some fairly intense cravings. I'm pretty sure it's coming from this "emotional makeover" I've been doing. Being tired adds to it too. Yesterday I got to a very dangerous place where I started getting emotional over the cravings. I felt like the fear was just seeping in that I wouldn't be able to control myself. Like my mind was getting clouded by the thought of drinking to just get out of my head. That's all I wanted to do. Just stop thinking. That's what it always boils down to. I just want the voices in my head to shut up. That feeling of "I NEED to drink" was coming back. It's a very powerful feeling. I didn't want to do anything that I'd normally do to help me through the cravings. I didn't think they'd work. I didn't even want to get on here and tell you all about it. I ended up just locking myself in the house, not allowing myself to go anywhere, and it eventually passed.

It was scary, and obviously this emotional makeover isn't working. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. Maybe I got overwhelmed. So, I'm wearing make up today, damn it. I like the way I look with it on. It makes me feel comfortable and I think it's fun to put it on. You could even say it's a way I express myself. I'm getting to a place where I can accept that I'll probably never be on the cover of Vogue, some people may not like the way I look, some people may, and I'm aging. And some of my friends are aging better than I am. There's just nothing I can do about that. I'm not 20 anymore. I don't get the attention I used to. I have crows feet. I have bags under my eyes. Whatever. I just can't help it. I am who I am. I didn't choose this body or this face so why should I be judged on it?

sunnyc5 07-29-2014 07:37 AM

Hi I am back!!!

sunnyc5 07-29-2014 07:42 AM

Having crappy relationship issues too!!! Was doing really well physically sober but the emotional sobriety takes a lot lot longer...anyway he started having a go last week saying I am an emotional zombie and need to do more around the house and blah blah blah ... I actually dont know if I love him any more he irritates me soooo much long story short I slipped and now he is saying he isn't sure he wants me to come on hols with him and the kids ....today I really hate him..... this illness has turned him in to a neurotic control freak or was he always like that?

Dollyangel17 07-29-2014 01:27 PM

Ah...new thread:-)

Yeah...I can relate Sunny with those feelings and questioning my own towards hubby too.

Just have to take it day by day I guess and hope we can get back to where we were.
Welcome back by the way Sunny;-)

Having a few quiet minutes on my deck with some coffee, and I love it. Really needed it after today. Was a hectic day that started with me oversleeping. I haven't used an alarm click since my daughter was born..I just wake up only own around the same time every day.,,regardless. It really set my day off to an uneven keel today..and now I need some down time.

Hope all is well with you gals...waving to all:-)

Bebetter 07-29-2014 06:06 PM

Lulu - There has been research done that shows that we only have so much willpower in a day, and if we use it up, it's gone for when we might need it. It's very possible that all your changes are too much right now, but it doesn't mean you have to stop completely. Maybe just stop wearing one bit of makeup. Like blush, or eyeliner, or maybe keep doing your color and just stop with the foundation. Or just try to change your frame of mind on one aspect of your life. Right now, I'm trying this thing where I remind myself to smile while doing whatever I'm doing (grocery shopping, mowing the lawn), and it's amazing how my mental state shifts to happier thoughts when I'm smiling, even though the smile is forced to start. I automatically start seeing things in a better light, and the enjoyable aspects of life come to the surface, rather than the drudgery. I only remember to do it like once or twice a day, but it helps!

Lady - I forgot to answer your question from like, last week. We live in the Nazareth school district, which is a fantastic district to be in, and she's in the best (read: wealthiest) elementary school in the district (just by luck - we are not remotely wealthy ourselves, but there is a lot of $ around us). What district are you in?

Just got back from an overnight vacay during which I ate like a pig, ending with a giant ice cream sundae just before typing this. Sugar is so freaking addicting, I just gave up the rest of the day and figure I'll start eating normally tomorrow. I'm heading to bed after a not so restful sleep in the hotel last night, and hope to wake up to kids in a good mood. I had a dream last night that I was drinking white wine, and I was totally conflicted about it - feeling guilty, but not stopping. And then, in my dream, I did all sorts of awful things I would never do sober, and felt all the guilt and worry over getting caught. I swear, our minds do a ton of work while we sleep. I feel like my brain is rewiring against alcohol, reminding me (with this fairly squeamish dream) why I don't drink anymore.

Ladybug2 07-29-2014 06:39 PM

Hi ladies,

Just chilling in bed with my daughter and a bowl of popcorn (hubby is working). Wish it were ice cream, but seeing as I gained 10 lbs this last month, I need to cut down on sweets. Was doing so well with my weight gain and then all of a sudden 10 lbs in 4 weeks, yikes!! I know the baby is growing and all, but 10 lbs?! Oh well, it is what it is.

BeBetter, we are in the East Penn school district, which is very good as well. Is your daughter excited about starting kindergarten?

Sleep well everyone and will check back later. Xxxx

21reeves 07-30-2014 05:03 AM

Hi Ladies,
It's funny how things ebb and flow with spouses. We also go from being really tight and on the same page to feeling like we are room mates. I sometimes joke with my husband about labeling his shelf in the fridge like college. He loves that.

I think the most important thing to remember in any kind of healing is there will be a few steps forward and some steps back. If we all took on a healthy change and moved forward without issue, we would all be super healthy emotionally. There is a reason we all abuse alcohol. We are numbing/self medicating because of something. Allowing ourselves to be in the moment and feel the discomfort during those steps back is what will get us to the next place in our healing. It's when we start to feel the discomfort that we turn to something to make it all feel better or numb it, that's when we don't move on. Then the cycle continues. Hopefully, that when we practice this, and succeed with the knowing that nothing bad happens (other than the feeling) that we start gaining power. Now, I just have to figure out how to do it.

I'm thinking about eliminating sugar from my diet. I have totally gone from tons of wine sugar to every other kind of sugar. I was giving myself a break in the beginning because I felt like I needed to replace wine with something else, however, it's been 43 days and it might be time to get real. I also don't want to be extreme with things because that's my addictive personality talking and I can be one of those people that gets hyper-focused on something but can't sustain it. I hate not knowing what is "right" or how to get there.

I'm hoping today brings you all a little sense of peace!

lucygoose 07-30-2014 09:28 AM

Hey ladies- so great to hear from all of you! I have loved to have read all of your posts. Hubby issues and all.

I'm currently in Oregon at my in laws. We had a wonderful time up until coming here. Hubby's brother is a non sleeper and kept me up most of the night. Walking around upstairs. I cannot stand fighting for my health! People need sleep to survive and I'm all my kids have at the moment and I need my sleep!

The first 3 days were amazing! We went to my moms house and then to the beach. It was so wonderful. I too had to fight for what I wanted! I wanted to go to the beach. Everyone else had a different opinion but I wasn't giving in and the kids had an amazing time!!!!

Do any of you feel like you have to fight for what you want????? I wonder if that's a trait only to me. My hubby used to say I was being controlling by not doing what everyone else wants to do but I say screw it. You only live once.

My mother n law thinks I'm crazy going to Portland today but it's been at least 7 years since I've been. I don't live here anymore. I don't why people don't let me have freedom!!!! I feel so tied down. How hard is it to drive an hour and 1/2? The last thing I want to do is be stuck here.

My life is my life. I'm not going to let other people dictate what I'm doing from now on.

Have a nice day!!

JustSarah 07-30-2014 11:42 AM

Hi ladies,

Well I had the mother of all fall outs with the hubby last night, it sounds ridiculous and a total couples thing to fall out over but he's been obsessed with completing the Rubix cube, it's up there with being able to name the fifty states of America (which we can both do but is hilarious as neither of us are from there - anyways, I digress) so his latest thing is learning to do the rubix cube and he has spent hours pouring over algorithms on the internet and has now done it - yay him. I may have brought up the fact that if he spent as long figuring out my 'workings' as he did the rubix then maybe I'd be a whole lot happier. Not to mention your point (which I really liked Babbs) I do things for him cause I love him and same goes for the kids but it's all one sided at the moment and no-one does anything for me, highlighted with the fact that the last time we hugged was when I dropped him at the airport a week ago...until this morning that was. Anyways, he doesn't take criticism lightly, so he stormed off to bed after hearing enough so I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 1am and came to bed. Anyways, this morning I think he'd had time to digest and was lovely, and since he's gone back on his travels, we've talked loads and he's booked holiday to spend time with us and has got me a maid (South african term I guess) to come in once a week to deep clean this place and do my ironing. I feel like a load has lightened already, I know we need the bad times to appreciate the good, but man this move has taken it's toll. I love capetown and don't want to go back to the uk for a minute but I miss the support of my friends and family and with hubby not being present mentally or physically I think we needed this bust-up to get us back on track. I have given up my career to do this and am trying to change so much about me, drinking, and as of today smoking, I'm cool with it all as long as he can try to understand where I'm at.

Anyways, enough of me - Lucy, I am a people pleaser by nature and have had to really find a back bone to say if I do or do not want to do something, especially when it comes to family, so good for you for pleasing yourself and your kids. As you say you only live once. Also if people won't alter their plans for you, then why should you alter your plans for them - you sound good right now and I'm glad the kids loved it too :)

How are you getting on chickster? And welcome back sunny! :)

Helloooo to everyone else and catch you all soon :) cxxxxxxx

Babs78756 07-30-2014 12:47 PM

Good afternoon Friends -

Hope you all are having a good humpday.

Lucy - go to Portland. Enjoy it! Don't think twice about it.

Lulu - You're doing so much work on yourself and your family, its more than okay to slow down and enjoy the adjustments we're making. It's not all going to happen over night. Take a breath, let everything click. You'll be able to start again tomorrow.

Welcome back Sunny!

Tired, Tired, tired today. Baby was up all night. She had the throw-ups. Not even sure what caused it. She woke crying, husband went in to change her and when he put her back in her crib she wasn't having it. i went to give her her tylenoyl (her molars are coming in) and after she swallowed it, she threw up and continued to throw up most of the night. I finally got her settled about 5:00. I "slept" most of the night with her in her rocker. I went back to my bed at 6:20, alarm went off at 6:40. So begins Wednesday.

We have tickets to go to a concert I've been looking forward to for months tonight and I cannot tell you how many times I thought of bailing already. I'm so tired. But we have a sitter, the tickets were expensive and haven't had a date night with my husband in ages. So, pass the concealer... I'm going to this damn concert.

Think I might cut out of work shortly and go home... debating it.

Hoping you all are having a good Wednesday.

XO

Babs

lucygoose 07-30-2014 09:23 PM

Just Sarah- Yes, I'm a people pleaser! Oh- we've got to grow out of it:-)

Babs-Have fun at the concert! I haven't even seen my hubby in ages but I'm very strong solo at the moment!

I went to Portland!!!!!!

My 15 year old and I had a blast! He got an early birthday present at the Moda Center. Then we had a fantastic lunch at my favorite restaurant, then did a tour of a mansion then to the Rose Gardens at Washington Park. It was the perfect day! My daughter stayed here with grandma who took her to the fair! So it worked out for everyone.

All the little voices around me are on mute!!!

Well wishes to all you beautiful ladies:-)

Bebetter 07-31-2014 04:58 AM

Hi all,

Today is my son's birthday. I had a craving last night when I pulled into the shopping center with a massive liquor store. I just wanted to drink this sadness away - not even get to the day. But I didn't want to be hungover today. When he died, I promised to act like the mother I would have been. Within 8 months, I was abusing alcohol and starting my second long period (and what has been the longest jaunt in sobriety I've ever had, at 26 months) of sobriety. I hate this part of my life. I hate that my house feels empty on days like this... as much as my girls fill my life with joy, I miss him terribly. I think back to that time, 7 years ago, and can't believe I endured. Since then, whenever something stressful happens in my life, I say to myself "I got through my child's death. I gave birth - laboring for 18 hours, knowing I would be holding my son who has no breath in him." and everything else falls away. Gaining sobriety has been the second hardest thing in my life. I hope that nothing will ever be as hard as that moment I was told there was no heartbeat.

sunnyc5 07-31-2014 06:01 AM

Hi all went to great AA meeting last night ..read 'It could have been worse in BigBook @ I id sooooo much with it. Am struggling with hubby not sure I love him anymore BUT at advice of sponsor going to give it 2 years ....my alanon mum said her friend it will take him ALOT lot longer to recover than me!! Anyway getting hair done after work so looking forwarsd to that!!!!!!!!!

Ladybug2 07-31-2014 06:16 AM

BeBetter, my heart goes out to you today. Hope you are able to do something today that you enjoy.

Babs78756 07-31-2014 06:26 AM

BeBetter - Your story brought tears to my eyes. I am wrapping you all up in goodness in my mind. Thinking of you.

21reeves 07-31-2014 09:36 AM

BeBetter- I am so sorry for your loss. You are giving yourself, your girls, and your son an amazing gift by staying sober.

JustSarah 07-31-2014 10:36 AM

Be better - I hope you're ok, I can't imagine the pain you've been through and re-live every year. I think you're doing an amazing job. I'm lost for words xxxxxx

Babs78756 08-01-2014 09:02 AM

Good Morning Mamas.....

It's Friday! Thank God! I need it!

Last night I drank one of the juices (I juice fruits and veggies almost daily) I had left over from a few days ago. Big Mistake. I was up throwing up most of the night. I finally got to bed about 2:00 am but was achy and tense all night. I have been really shaken all day.... So, the juice had beets in and beets are red. Anyway, coming back up it was all too familiar from the many times I'd vomit from too much red wine. I haven't thrown up since my last very drunken night and so many thoughts came rushing back and I've been on the verge of tears all day. Maybe I'm just tired? But I'm an open wound right now. All of the things I've done, the dangerous situations I got myself into, the lies, the drama, the people I hurt, the danger I put my daughter in. It all came back and has buckled me. I don't know what else to do other than sit with all of these emotions and wait for them to pass. I just keep thinking of my daughter's face and how I could ever put her in danger or my family in danger. God, you think everything is moving along so smoothly and something will just buckle you....

Today alcohol is not a part of my life and I'm so, so thankful.

XO

Babs

lucygoose 08-01-2014 12:24 PM

Bebetter- I'm so sorry for your loss of your baby boy. What heart break. I had 2 co workers and good friends give birth to babies still born 3 days apart. Luckily they too have given birth to healthy babies since. But you never get over it. Good for you not to drink your pain away. I'm so sorry for your sadness and sorrow!

Babs-I'm sorry you got so sick! Throwing up is the worst but especially after a hang over!!! I'm so glad we are all over that....feel better:-)

My kids and I are driving home in terrible traffic in Mt Shasta. We were making such good time. I can't wait to be home to see my animals.

Happy Friday!!!

Dollyangel17 08-01-2014 06:42 PM

Hi ladies,

Aw Bebetter...so sorry for your heartbreak:-(. I too remember laying on a cold table while the ultrasound quietly took her images before calling in the doctor who so casually said.."well that doesn't look good" as I lay there crying. It's been 12 years and I still wish I could go back in time to kick him in the balls! That was Valentines Day, and that pain still rears it's ugly head sometimes. I also delivered, and I still can't talk about it for too long without crying.

My alcoholic drinking/coping began after that,

I wish I could come give you a hug, but will send a virtual hug anyway.

Babs...ugh, the red vomiting,,,yeah, that was a regular occurrence for me too. Every once in a while I am reminded of my poor decisions and how I put my daughter at risk too. You get further away from that with each sober breath, and I know that some day we will all be able to get to a point where we no longer let that guilt shadow us. I live for that now, and it's what keeps me going:-)

How are all you other lovely ladies?

Happy it's Friday, and looking forward to sleeping in a little:-)

Bebetter 08-01-2014 06:43 PM

Thanks for the well-wishes, everyone. We visited the rose garden where my son's ashes were laid, and I made an ice cream cake for his birthday. It was a sad day, as it always is. I'm defined in a lot of ways by his death - even as much as I define myself as a mother, I define myself equally as a baby-loss-mother. But it's not like I live in the grief... it just shows up strong around this time of year. My husband had his bloodwork done and will get results on Monday. My brother and his wife and kids are coming to stay over tomorrow night. I hope it is fun for them... I'm usually up until the wee hours drinking with them and doing/saying stupid things. They are very well aware and supportive of me not drinking, but I just hope it's not a weird night, you know?

Babs - Ugh... I am so sorry for you. There are days I don't sleep enough because one of the girls is up all night, and the next day, I feel hungover - the dehydration, headaches, stomach upset... and it takes me back to those days too, and I hate it. It's always a good reminder of how much I don't ever want to be there again, though. It sounds awful to be puking up juice until 2am! I hope tomorrow finds you in a better place. The end of your post really reminded me of all the dangerous things I did with my girls, and how careless I was with the two people I love more than anything else in the world. It's a slippery slope towards letting the addiction take more headspace than your own children do... :( I practically shiver every time I think of the nights I breastfed my youngest after having WAY too much to drink. She's totally fine, but I was stupid and selfish. And I'm ashamed of it. And all the nights I got upset when one or both of them wouldn't go to sleep because it was cutting into my beer time. Really? It's amazing now, when they won't sleep, and my patience is so much greater, because there's nothing else nagging at me to take my attention away from the present time of being with them.

21reeves 08-02-2014 04:18 AM

Babs- That must have been awful. Sometimes it's really a good thing to get a reminder like that. But I know the feeling of being shaky and on the verge of tears after the fact. Hopefully, once you get some rest you will feel better.

I have been struggling with the idea of going to meetings. AA in my area is also like someone else mentioned (sorry, I can't remember who), lots of older men and it doesn't seem to be a good fit for me. As I mentioned before, I've substituted wine for ice cream and other junk. Which on the surface doesn't seem horrible, but I noticed the other night I had the same feelings with my kids I used to get at bedtime when I wanted to them to just go to bed so I could sit and start/continue without hiding my self medicating. I didn't have ice cream with the family after dinner, I decided to save it for later. So it was time for bed and they were delaying and taking their sweet time and all those agitated, angry, less than patient feelings bubbled up. The feelings shocked and scared me. How could something so benign have that influence on me? I realized that addiction is addiction. I can take away the vise I am using at that time, however, it doesn't take away the reason I drank or binged to begin with. So... I'm toying with the idea of attending overeaters anonymous. From what I've read, that program follows the same steps as AA. But I am ashamed to admit that I am embarrassed to walk through the door. I had myself prepared to go on Thursday, but I backed out. I have done plenty of individual therapy, however, it was generalized. We do have addiction therapists in my area, but they are really backed up and have a long waiting list.

SoberLife2014 08-02-2014 04:19 PM

Hi ladies,

Bebetter, you've been so strong through all of this. I can't imagine what you ladies had to go through. My heart goes out to you.

Babs, the first time I threw up after I quit drinking was really awful for me too. And I still have some pretty awful memories that I have to deal with in regards to things I did while drinking too. But, I've come to realize that those really nasty memories can also be my salvation. Even though they are awful, I hang on to them because I'm afraid that the day I forget how awful it got will be the day I think it might be ok to drink again.

There's something that has been bothering me a little. It's so ridiculous. It's a Facebook thing. So, I've been trying to not take things personally but this is bothering me for some other reason I think. I used to go to AA with these 2 ladies, mother and daughter, and I befriended them on Facebook a while ago. I talked to the mother every once in a while through text and we got along really well. When I saw the daughter at the meetings she was always very friendly. Well, one day I noticed that the mother unfriended me on Facebook. I thought it was a bit odd. I saw she put something on her wall about how she doesn't have time for people that are self absorbed so if you don't hear from her then "reality check!". Now, it probably didn't have anything to do with me, but being the sensitive person that I am I can't help but wonder if it was. Then, all of a sudden her daughter starts posting all this stuff about sitting on the porch with a beer or drinking a glass of wine, etc. I was thinking "wait... why was she in AA?". Then I thought maybe she had a narcotic problem and she was really in NA (there were people in NA that would attend our AA meetings). I knew her mother had a drug problem so maybe she just had a drug problem, not an alcohol problem... but I thought you didn't drink in NA either... Well, I finally put her posts on ignore because every single day she would post something about having a glass of wine or a beer. It started to kind of irritate me. Like, OK we get it, you drink wine every single night. Almost like she's throwing it in everyone's faces that "HEY I'M DRINKING AGAIN!!!!" Anyway, who knows what's going on in their lives. I have no idea why her mom unfriended me. If it's because she thinks I'm self absorbed then so be it. Sounds like they're both really following the steps of AA/NA.

I just wanted to vent a little. At the end of the day it's absolutely none of my business.

lucygoose 08-02-2014 04:53 PM

Lulu-That would bug me too. I do not think you are being too sensitive. But maybe they both relapsed and she didn't want the reminder of AA on her Facebook. Facebook is such a strange thing anyway. It could be pure jealousy. I sometimes get jealous!!! Especially of couples photos. Also when I relapsed I wanted nothing to do with anything or anyone in AA, including my neighbor. That might be it. It just made me feel worse about the choices I was making. I'm sensitive too and it's okay. I love animals, and the earth and I take things to heart too. The key is to find your balance. Xxx

SoberLife2014 08-02-2014 05:06 PM

You're right Lucy, I thought about that too. But she was still friends with a lot of other people who we went to AA with. Thinking back on it it's really ridiculous and this is just a prime example of why I'm trying not to take things personally and I'm working on some of my own insecurities. Who knows why she unfriended me. It could just be because I haven't been to a meetings in a long time. Maybe she deleted me on accident. Maybe she's sick of seeing the pictures I post of my baby all the time. Maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with ME and something that is going on with HER. Who knows!

But her daughter posting things about alcohol all the time bothered me because I just don't like having to hear about people drinking all the time. It's one thing for someone to occasionally post something about having a drink, but to do it almost every night is too much for this alcoholic. Plus, it doesn't help that I went to AA with her. Of course I don't frown upon someone having a slip. I've certainly had my fair share of slips! But it's hard to see someone who allegedly had the same problem as me having a grand ol' time cooking up some Italian and drinkin' a glass of wine or having a few because they deserve it after a hard day of work.

lucygoose 08-02-2014 06:08 PM

Lulu-you can't be loved by everyone. If you don't have an enemy you really haven't lived! But I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with you. I hit buttons all the time by mistake. You could always ask her if it keeps bugging you.

It's amazing how you can just pick out all the alcoholics on Facebook. They are the people who constantly post photos of drinks or anything drink related. It irritates me too. But I now just feel sorry for them because it's a progressive disease and it's only going to get worse. I see the red puffy faces like mine used to be.

This lady was in line at the grocery store. She had so much wine and vodka. She was an older wealthy lady. You could just see the alcohol in her blood. Can any of you see that too?

But we each have our own struggles and time frames to get healthy and some of us just don't and die of alcohol poisoning.

My husband said his rehab showed them a video of all the people who have left that rehab and died. It was staggering. He didn't think it was very reassuring but it's reality. Addiction is a killer.

Stay healthy and clean ladies! Let's live this life for real!!!

lucygoose 08-02-2014 06:15 PM

21reeves- I too am eating too much sugar. I just had ice cream, berries and whipped cream for the 2nd time today. I've lost 20 pounds since quitting drinking but need to be make healthier food choices!!!!


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