Sorry, JL, I don't have any good advice, except to avoid get rich quick schemes. In my experience, the tortoise always beats the hare (with the few, few, lucky exceptions) when it comes to money.

So, I am in Costco today and I am checking out and the checker asks me if I like red wine because they are running a great special. (now, as you know, red wine was my drug/drink of choice). Without even hesitating, I said, "No thank you, I don't drink." It was so strange. I have never said that before and it was almost like I was observing myself saying it. So funny, too, that they are pushing alcohol on people now at the checkout line at Costco!

DD,
That's funny/odd! In Colorado, we don't have to worry about that much, since big stores (like Safeway or Costco) can't sell liquor/wine -- only 3.2% beer.
Good for you, standing up for your convictions in any case!
Fishy

This is the second weekend in a row where I've been backstage at concerts at outdoor festivals with free drinks, and I am amazed that I haven't been tempted to drink at all. Instead, I've been so happy to get free water. If I had been around free drinks before in my drinking days, I know I'd have gotten smashed. No doubt about that. Now it's just something I don't do, whether it's free or not. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's actually liberating. All the other times I tried to get sober, it felt like I was depriving myself. Weird.

LS, that is awesome!! It is still a mixed bag for me _ sometimes I feel deprived and left out but mostly I don't.

DD, I'm going to Costco tomorrow. I hope they don't ask me if I want to buy any alcohol at the checkout. If they do, though, I'm going to laugh so hard!

I don't know why but I haven't felt like I was "missing something I needed", as much as I did before. Maybe that improves more with time. Oh praise report :: I slept from 10 pm to 4:30am !! Sleep aids or no, the olanzapine withdrawals have kept me waking up at night - killing my workdays being exhausted. I'm down to 246 from 260. Got 40 to go, but it will slow down a lot. I'm so overweight, but not forever !

Sorry to be bouncing all over the board here. Just gotta vent. Have been anti depressant free for 2 weeks maybe. 3 months ago I had started taking the powerful symbyax, which has made me numb to problems (felt good for a break), but it caused huge weight gain, and suicidal type thoughts. I've never experienced that before. Ever. Not wanting to, just noticed weird thoughts like that. No more of that crap. I have however noticed classic depression symptoms in the past few days, so this morning I started taking my prior medecine, welbutrin. Hope I feel better by the time I goto the doctor Wednesday, or optimally, by tomorrow. It's been so frustrating to feel bad, and be an alcoholic too. Medication could have been working for me long ago to feel great, and I wouldn't ever know it. This is really a fight to get through, but the more I talk it out the more I see that at least there's a possibility for a better life, being sober. Kind of a yo-yo ride right now !

Working with your doctor has got to be so much better than trying to self medicate, Jeff. I was on Paxil for over a year in my 20s and then all of a sudden, I didn't need it anymore. My doctor helped me to taper.

Well...this really "sounds" good, DD...lol....and, at least for me, at times it is true....bUT...I gotta say, this trip kicked my proverbial a$$. I finally made it back to Costa Rica last night at about 5:00 pm. Hubby was at the airport with open arms! Cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am to be back ....and, yes, I am still sober. NO WAY could I have handled what went on if I had been drinking. VERY LONG story short.....NOT ONE family member helped me out, except my recovering addict daughter. I ended up BUYING a car, in order to be able to get around....you CANNOT live/visit/survive in LA without a car. THANK GOD for friends. Guess, I must have been a good one to them, cuz 2 of them were there in a HEARTBEAT, on Friday, when I HAD to drop off my car for storage (about two hours away) and THEN get to somewhere close to LAX for a 10 AM flight yesterday. (SOMEHOW I had thought it was a 10:00 flight AT NIGHT, since we ALWAYS take red-eyes....Anyway, I am back......safe and sound.....daughter is better and didn't want me to go....other daughter could care less.....NIGHTMARE, I tell you....BUT....I learned what I needed to learn. Love you all....I will catch up with details soon!:a122:

Dd you're right. I'm just trying to get to Wednesdays dr appt without missing work. Today was a nightmare. Got called out of church. Wife's father in ER with lymphoma based kidney shutdown.
Same time her aunt rushed to different ER for emergency surgery to removed blockages from colostomy complication. We ARE in the south so the drama is through the roof. Got left with the kids with no sleep- blahblah ....
You really can't make this up. Laying down now at 9:30, up at 3:30 for work. Too tired to be crazy. Sober another day. Thank god

Jeff and Trudging, if nothing else, know that your sobriety is keeping me sober. You all are staying sober through major shift$storms. That gives me No excuses!! ;)

To &)$!? With crazy. I called in sick, Goin to doctor in the morning. Get this crap moving. Why suffer, after all I've gone through to get sober. Were all worth it! I gargled so much caffeine all day that I'm still bouncing now anyway. Crosseyed, exhausted and overtired. Posts probably not making sense, so I apologize. Rant over now .

Trudging glad you're back home safe ! Just now reading back over prior posts.

Went to doctor, trying a SNRI medication called fetzima. Not a lot out there on it as it's kind of new. Medicine is just scary, but it appears I was just numbing the issues with alcohol. Work was nice. They let me off a few days. So thankful. Going to a christian counselor that runs a recovery center, on Thursday. Never been to a counselor before. Gotta beat this. Got 2 little boys and their mommy counting on me.
OMG I forgot : my wife acknowledged that we need to work together to reduce debt and get out of the hole we've lived in for yrs. Too much family drama with ppl in hospital, but a start is a start !!
Being depressed really pisses me off. I gotta get over it.

You will, JL....trust me....lol....Time heals all wounds....and, soon enough, you will be weaning yourself off of the meds. Do what you have to do, whatever it takes, to hang on by your proverbial fingernails....it will eventually be worth it. The light at the end of the tunnel will no longer be an oncoming train ;)

Quick check in from the North Woods. Having a nice time hiking and fishing with the family. A little cool here (mid 60s), but I will take it!

JL - one day at a time, brother. I'm proud of how well your doing! As I tell my kids ... "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

Carry on, Tobers!

10 months sober for me today, Tobers!

Congrats DD!

DD - Way to go!

Jeff - I hope this new medicine helps. I remember trying out different birth controls many years back and it was totally insane how much the different meds would mess with my mind. You are aware and fighting the fight. That's all we can do. I can tell your desire for bettering your life will drive you to succeed. So many people just give up and accept what is as the best they can get. You and your wife working on your financial goals, you working on sobriety, both of you working on being good parents to your two boys - that is the meat of life. Keep at it, friend!

WD - I am totally stealing the elephant thing! Enjoy the rest of your trip! I'm jealous as I type this from my windowless cubicle.

Double D!!! - CONGRATS ON NINE MONTHS!! You are so close to a year. You so got this!

Trudging - how is it to be back at home? Hope there is less drama there!