As always great advice here. I can't add much. However I did Google duvet... I learn something new everyday

Mentium, I am sorry you are struggling. :grouphug: I have no advice, as you have had better success than I, since beginning this journey. But do know, you can certainly post here all night long if it helps you not to drink. I do it many a night!

It is a very difficult time o fyear, Brooksie and mentium. At another forum, several of us have been revealing and discussing depression, and this month is terrible for many. My daughter is also an exapmle of that. It certainly adds a layer of challenge to recovery, wherever you are on the journey, but drinking definitely only makes depression worse. That is 100% for sure.

Never have I popped out of bed after a day of drinking eager to get my list done. More like, I would have put it off to tomorrow... Can you drag yourself ot the gym today, Brooksie. if you are at all like me, and there have been days where I actually cried on my elliptical, you *will* feel much better once you have done some solid exercise, and for you, it gets you out. My exercise equip. is in the house. I very much identify with your issues with weight gain, not feeling your best self, and lack of exercise as part of the bigger picture of feeling blue, or having depression swings.

Is there a career center where you can go to get assistance with a job search?

Thank you all for your advice.

Dee: Do I believe in what I am doing in recovery? I'm not sure is the honest answer. I can't identify a 'higher power' other than my AA group - and the simple answer to whether it really *is* a higher power is ambiguous to day the least. I believe I want to be sober and I know I am unhappy drinking. I also know that going to AA has led to the longest periods of sobriety that I have had. So I guess for me it is the only game in town. I have not started to 'work the steps' as they say though. Perhaps that is something I should think about. I don't read their stuff either. So maybe I am just attending some sort of 'group therapy' with only half hearted results.

Rochele: R.e. jobs - I was made redundant a couple of years ago and qualified for early retirement. I had a senior sort of job and I don't need to work as we are financially pretty OK. It is a mixed blessing though - which I know sounds ungrateful.

I shall go to AA tomorrow guys (there's no local meeting today). And I shall stick this out. I'm meeting an AA friend later today. I was going to type here that I will share my 'secret' but I really can't. Sorry if that sounds dishonest. If I don't crack this I will though.

I understand not being sure.

I did pretty well with the group here at SR as my kind of higher power I guess - but I really had a burning desire to be sober, and I used the group here everytime I felt like I was slipping.

I really think you have to give it your all - it's that kind of total commitment.

It took me some building up to that.
I'd tried to get sober before, and while I was quite genuine in that desire I wanted to get sober without changing anything in my life.

I couldn't get that to work :)

I guess a little part of me resented having to give up drinking...I wasn't really convinced of the necessity until I had nearly pushed things too far.

That way works - but it's kinda like setting a forest on fire to light your cigarette.

I think there are easier ways :)

have a good day gang :)

D

Sorry, mentium. i was disorganized in my post. I was addressing brooksie with regards to getting a job. She had been talking about that struggle of late. My apologies.

I myself, do not have a job outside of the home. I have not worked since having my kids. I have enough to do, but, I find that I am quite isolated from adult compnay, or relationships outside of children-related activities. This is not helpful to my happiness. Good I do not have the pressurs of juggling it all, but a mixed bag as well.

Annual physical this morning. Feeling a bit nervous about it.

Wish I could give those of you having a hard time a big hug.

Thanx for sharing Brooksie, remember first and foremost that "it was all a dream" so there is no self sabotage because it was all a movie ran in your mind and not reality. With that said, understand that you should feel no guilt for thoughts that you did not follow with any actions. We choose our thoughts and we can choose what to focus on as well. It's not easy at times but you can choose Brooksie what you want to focus on..so let it be being sober for that moment and it will pass.

Also, remember how you choose your words Brooksie, if you say that you are depressed you will bring on the symptoms and keep on perpetuating the ills of depression...words are powerful things. As with all of us you are just going through a challenging period right now, you need to get out to a meeting or speak to your sponsor or journal out your feelings to make you feel a bit better. The last thing to do I suggest is to self medicate and cut yourself off from the world because what you resist will persist.

Remember, that it is darkest before the dawn...but the greatest things must be birthed in the dark so your greatest self is being born in the dark Brooksie. But after the dark there is always light....ALWAYS LIGHT!!! So walk towards it we are here to aid you.....:ring:ring:ring

~All great points Dee, I apologize for carving up your points but I found it was the best way for me to address them without having to abuse the quote button. great points and thanx for sharing them~:thanks

I really think you have to give it your all - it's that kind of total commitment.

~I'm finding as in sobriety, as so in life that no real results come without total commitment..that's what it will take...partial will not do~

It took me some building up to that.
I'd tried to get sober before, and while I was quite genuine in that desire I wanted to get sober without changing anything in my life.

~I'm finding that to be the ultimate delusion, wanting to get sober but not wanting to change the habits, situations, thinking, places, environment and people that have assisted in getting us to the place we are in concerning alcohol. We can't delude ourselves any longer~

I couldn't get that to work :)

I guess a little part of me resented having to give up drinking...I wasn't really convinced of the necessity until I had nearly pushed things too far.

~Sometimes that resentment leads us to losing too much in terms of finances, relationships, career, self-potential, your true destiny, time....time...time (sorry that was important lol) It is our hope that we deal with our sobriety before we push those things too far~

That way works - but it's kinda like setting a forest on fire to light your cigarette.

~Very great analogy..so true~

A bit of old news from me this morning. I've been remiss in addressing others for a few days.

1step, you are terrific! Many heartfelt congratulations for 3 months. Honestly, you impress me very much with your behavior and attitude about sobriety and life itself, and I truly believe many good and wonderful things are in your future.

Worko, I was sad to hear about your dad's relapse. It's a stark warning to us all how we can never let our guard down. I've "known" that in my head for a long time, but complacence has always seemed to slip in. I pray that he will be back on track and that you will not be tempted to pick up either.

Fish, have a safe trip to Florida, and enjoy your folks and the cruise. It really doesn't have to be about alcohol. Be present and real in every moment, good or bad. These are memories you will have for the rest of your life, so make 'em count for something good. It's not a deprivation, not that you cannot drink. It's that you CAN not drink. Best wishes dear Fishy.

Lil, what's wrong with a few pics of the Navy guys???!!! :D Hope you got through everything all right, but I'm sure that you did.

Diesel, I feel for you in your situation with your lady friend. You got some really great feedback from others, and I realize I had nothing to improve upon that. Stay in the fight, don't give up on the process, and you will triumph over alcohol.

Brooksie, sorry to hear you're still not feeling so great. Maybe you are suffering from clinical depression? And I also get the body image issues. Oh, yes, I do. I almost think it's inherent in the brain chemistry of women. Why else so pervasive in our world, and not just our society? I think these issues can start to form a vicious circle in which they are chasing their tails in our brains all the time, whether in active consciousness or just below the surface. And it undermines our self-esteem, without which we don't function very well. Sorry if I'm coming on as an armchair psychiatrist. Not trying to diagnose you at all, just wondering if my experience and history resonates with yours.

Rochele, I hope your daughter is feeling better. I can so empathize with her, too. You're a great mom, and she's lucky that you can understand the adolescent pitfalls.

Renarde, get over this stinkin' sickness, OK? I wish you could have a bit more down time to rest and recoup before school begins again. Good thoughts for kiddo's sinuses. :)

Mentium :hug: Bless you for your courage in being honest. Dee gave great feedback (as always), so I'll just say I relate and I understand. Done the same thing many times. :(
You're here, you're fighting, and that's crucial. May you find and realize what you need to take the next big step forward.

Grace, Lommey, Kane, Tallia, fifth, mama83, kellbell, Hooped, heropon: :ring Thinking of you all, and proud to be riding this train with you.

Dee-thanks. Sounds so meager to say that, but there's tremendous feeling and gratitude in that one word.

There is sometimes such power in the fewness of words and you have spoken volumes in the fewness of your words. Thanks Nuway2fly

Feeling much more positive here. I met with a good friend froim AA this afternoon over a coffee. We planned a hike out into the hills on Sunday and talked about the early days and struggling. This is a guy who spent 12 months in rehab and suffered liver failure, so he got as close to ending it all with booze as you care to imagine. And yet a kinder, more supportive and gentle man you couldn't meet - and long term sober - well over a decade.

I will do this!

Hi everyone, a huge thank you for all the kind messages concerning my 3months sobriety, I truly couldn't have done this without you all here.

Sorry your in a bad place Brooksie, I hope and pray happy days are around the corner for you. x

Glad your feeling better Mentium, I know how frustrating this illness can be, I drank after AA meetings in the past, I also went sometimes after having a drink, for me I needed to keep going and not lose heart and Im glad now I didnt, Im sure there isn't an alcoholic alive that has stopped at the first time of trying and the fact you go to the meetings and post here is the first process of recognising the problem and trying to change. I wish you all the best. You will do this! x

An evening well spent getting my new Ipad under some sort of control! Not a thought about drinking I'm pleased to say.

Good night all.

Brooksie,
I hear you struggling and I just want to send my thoughts to you. It makes me sad to see you sad, because you are such a bright shining star of energy usually. As was just said, this disease is really difficult.

And to use your words, Aint nobody got time for problems! But they happen. We all have money problems, job problems, family problems at one time or another. They are just easier to handle for healthy people.

But you're getting there! You have so much wisdom and knowledge...just keep moving forward.

Big hugs,
Lil

Hope everyones doing better today :grouphug:
D

Thanks everyone for the supportive/encouraging thoughts and posts. I did not work out today but I dragged myself out to meet someone for coffee and then I'm going to a women's meeting. I'm making a rule for myself that I have to be out of bed by 9 every day, even if I just go to the livin room. I think that will help.

I know what I need to do, I just haven't done it. I got overwhelmed and isolated/stayed in bed instead.

(((Brooksie)))

How was your appointment, Renarde?

Brooksie, :grouphug::grouphug:

Mentium, so glad you feel better today.

Friday evenings are still hard for me! I want to pour some wine more on Friday evening than any other time of the week. Rrrrgh. When will this stop? It makes me feel like I am just fooling myself. I know that 4-1/2 months isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, especially after 30 years of Friday night hi jinks. Just needed to get it off my chest.

I hope you all are having a great beginning to the weekend! I miss UI, Plenny, and Melina. I hope Hooped and his wife are doing ok.