Congrats on 3 months 1step!!!!!!!!!!!

I just ate 5 Godiva truffles. Omg so good.

That will get rid of a flat butt. :)

Out of all the carbohydrates I miss.....rice tops the list, followed closely by tortillas and warm, soft dinner rolls. Sigh. Oooo, rissoto....love that too. Angel hair pasta, yum.

1step - Awesome!! :dance3::dance3::dance3::dance3::dance3:

Lasagna.

Congrats 1step - I'm really pleased and proud for you :)
D

I am not sure if I said congrats already, One step, so I will risk repeating myself, Congratulations! :You_Rock_

I am about to leave for a client dinner ~ large group of people and an open bar.

I'm already thinking about how long I have to stay before I can scoot out of there.

The good news: Right on the San Diego harbor....lots of cute Navy guys in their uniforms, beautiful weather, fresh fish, sail boats and a view of the city that is stunning. I'll try and take a picture (of the city, not the Navy guys). :)

1STEP: 3 Months !! Hearty congrats ! A significant milestone Sir ! :You_Rock_

:fireworks2:fireworks2:fireworks2

Navy guys are good too, Lil. My daddy was once one. :)

I loved San Diego. Will you be near the USS Midway? We toured that.

Wishing you strength, and hope you find yourself having a nice time.

Good morning all, one more day of nasty heat before the temperature drops...yay !

Well, there is nothing like an AA meeting to make you realise how fortunate one is and how terrible this addiction is. My AA home group is a little unusual in that it is at a medical clinic specialising in treatment of mental illnesses inclusive of addictions. So, we have the rehab and detox patients join our meeting. Last night, some of the patients shared some truly terrible stories of their addiction and so young ! The volume of alcohol they drink, the late stage diseases they suffer, the volume of blood they vomit is horrendous. And yet they still continue to drink. It makes all my problems seem so insignificant.

Feeling peaceful and relaxed today. I had some minor financial issues to deal with yesterday but hopefully they have been dealt with. Otherwise, not having any dramas.

I am contemplating doing a 3 day meditation retreat next weekend. It will be pretty intense as you spend 10-12 hours a day purely meditating, no talking and only vegan food. The setting should be beautiful as its down by the sea (though I think thats pointless if your eyes are shut for 10-12 hours). Hmmmm....

Keep rockin Nutella !!!

You all seem to be travelling well for past 24 hours aside from normalish illnesses (Renarde: hope you heal soon)

Have a lovely evening/day all ! Thanks to everyone !!

:ring

Lillian

Yes, just focus on the scenery and enjoy the moment ! Keep close here if you feel at risk !

Kaneda, that retreat sounds like heaven to me! I hope you can go.

Fish, sadly the Godiva will go right to my stomach and not the booty.

Lil, hope you enjoy Yourself.

I had a pretty bad day today. I isolated and shirked on my commitment at my Thursday meeting.

I can't believe how dark today was. I slept all day and had a dream that I was looking for a liquor store but it was closed so I went into pharmacy and really wanted to buy a bottle but they only had cheap wine and then I saw a whole section of hard liquor. I didn't have my phone to call anyone to talk about how I was feeling and didn't have my sponsors number committed to memory.

I woke up before I bought anything and I don't know if I would have bought the bottle or not. The last thing I remember thinking was that I was almost at 60 days and did not want to start my day count over.

My allergies were really acting up today so I took Benadryl and that is probably why I slept a lot, but still. I woke up before the meeting and then just went back to sleep.

Why the self-sabotage? What is wrong with me? I had no real reason not to be productive although I'm sure being as broke as I am has something to do with it. I guess I am just depressed. But like Diesel said, I have to keep moving forward, even if it's a crawl.

A dark day indeed.

Just sharing so that it's not all cooped up in my head. I will try to start my day off with a meeting tomorrow.

(((Br00ksie)))

I am sorry to hear that you're feeling down. I know how not having work and not being able to see a secure financial future can cause despair and worry. There are times when I also feel like burying myself beneath the duvet and hope the days pass by. However, I know the feelings will pass. As well, if one separates the feeling from the object (eg, separate despair from work) and solely focus on the emotion, then it will dissipate. Have an internal debate about the emotion, look at it from all angles, explore its source and how it feels in your body. Realise that it is temporary and cannot harm you. Keep your mind focus on the present. Any time it tries to deviate by dwelling on the past or looking into the future, gently refocus back to the present. Keep practicing that.

Stay calm and know that all negative emotions will pass !!

I hope the sun bursts through the clouds soon Brooksie :)

D

I can think of few more mentally tortuous things than going to AA meetings and drinking at the same time. Which is what I have done. Last night and two nights before that after I got home from AA I had about 1/4 of a bottle of vodka before going to bed.

I don't have any excuses or reasons and at that level of consumption I only wake up feeling a bit fuzzy. But I don't want to do this. It is as if the addiction has found a gap it can get into. My partner goes to bed quite early so I am alone down in the living room from about 10.15 and that is when it has happened.

This is making me so unhappy - and too embarrassed to even bring it up at meetings. It feels completely irrational and I can't think what has happened to make me do this. I had a lapse at Christmas and I feel I have only just got over that as far as my friends there are concerned.

I can only be determined not to do this any more. I feel so much better not drinking - the buzz of it is attractive but that is it - and it is gone within half an hour.

All I can think to do is to sit here at that hour and post to this thread. I hope that is OK with people. I can't think what else to do.

Feeling really awful about this. And apologies for coming over all pathetic.

I appreciate your honesty Mentium - and I think your AA peers would too.

Holding secrets only usually served to drive me further into drink - 'may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb' was my drinkers motto.

I have to ask though - do you believe in what you're doing for your recovery?

D

Post away Mentium

Secrets just cause us to feel bad about ourselves if we have to keep something we are doing from others it means we are ashamed of what we are doing and ashamed of ourselves I know I felt like that for years xx

sorry a bit late but well done 1step...3 months is a great achievement....1 day at a time and you find out that you have been 3 months sober...must be a great positive feeling! :herewego