glad to hear of your sober time NL - hope you feel better soon :)

D

So glad to hear from you NL!

Broncos!!!! Woo!

So excited.

I'm also really pumped I didn't drink. I had a great time watching the game and didn't need any alcohol.

We went to pick up a pizza and husband stopped in the liquor store. He asked me if I wanted any beer. Huh? I said "I don't want any and I don't want you to ask me that."

Then he drank 3 beers in like 90 minutes and was buzzed and went for the 4th and spilled it everywhere, ruining a framed picture. It was annoying.

Last night he drank two bourbons, claiming the second was mostly water, and then insisted on taking NyQuil before bed (he is still getting over being sick too). In his defense there was space between the bourbons and NyQuil, but come on.

I can't control him but he drinks every single day. Maybe not mass amounts, but it bugs me.

And I should add that it doesn't bug me because it makes me jealous (it doesn't), if kind of freaks me out.

Renarde

I thought you had told him you were an alcoholic ? Maybe you can ask him to refrain from drinking in front of you or at the least, ask if you are comfortable with him having a drink ?

It doesn't make me want to drink - so it doesn't make me uncomfortable like I can't have people drink in front of me - I just don't want him to become an alcoholic too. I worry. :-/

Hello everyone! Wanted to mention I met a lovely young lady at a meeting and shared this site info with her, said I didn't know what I would have done in the beginning (and now too) if I didn't have this and everyone here. Thanks!!

Hello, Newleaf! Good to hear from you. Sorry you've been sick. Nice to know you're here even if you don't post. :) :hug:

Hey Newleaf and Nuway...hmmm, twins ? :)

Renarde, I see. Hmmm, I cant comment on that as I dont know how the alcohol affects him. Daily drinking isnt necessarily a sign of alcoholism otherwise there would be several million alcoholic Aussies ! I know of quite a few folk that drink every night but I wouldnt deem them as alcoholic. It is how alcohol affects them that is key I think.

I can understand how that might worry or even bug you Renarde.
Have you shared your concern with him?

D

I feel the same about my husband's drinking, Renarde. Though I think he is a bit heavier drinker than your husband, at times, anyway. He easily downs 6-8 on a weekend evening. A couple most other nights.

Renarde and Rochele, same here. Renarde, like you, I don't feel triggered when my husband drinks very often at all. He tends to start around 8 or 9 p.m., while my difficult time is the cocktail/pre-dinner "hour". But I do worry about his pattern: 5-6 beers on a weekend night; 2-3 many other nights; stays up after I go to bed and drinks. Since I have stopped drinking I haven't seen him drunk because I go to bed a lot earlier now. And the fact that our evening rituals are so different now has had a stagnating effect on our, shall we say, intimate life.

I keep telling myself my journey has to be for me. And, as they say in AA, I can only win him over to sobriety by making it attractive. I can't make him get sober for me.

We were going to have a date this evening but we also wanted to see the Seahawks-49ers game. In the past we would have just hunkered down in a sports bar and had a blast drinking and watching the game. I miss that. But he was thoughtful and acknowledged that sitting in a bar for 3 hours probably was not what I wanted to do. I really wanted to be able to say it wasn't a problem, but I knew it would be. In fact, when I was going to bed last night I was thinking about drinking tonight if we ended up watching the game in a bar. So I was thankful that he gave me an out. We stayed home and watched the game with the kids and will have our date another time.

Lately I have been resentful of having to stay sober. I know it is best. I enjoy being sober 80 percent of the time. But I miss the drinks, still. I know I need to not pick up because every time I consider drinking it is in order to catch a buzz, not just to enjoy a glass of wine. And I sure as heck don't miss the hangovers. I am basically still in mourning and am wondering if it will ever end.

Sorry to go on and on and hijack your conversation, R and R. I needed to put this out there in an effort to be accountable. Once I got going I forgot to stop! Imagine that.....

I have shared my concern with him tonight. He was very nice and not weird or defensive.

He is not typically a binge drinker. He has 1-2 most nights. He doesn't get weird or unpleasant. Thank you for the reassurance Kaneda.

I have forbid him fromdrinking wine. I would not be able to stand that and he has not touched wine in 5 months since I started this. My only rules are - no wine and I don't buy you alcohol. I think a little part of him is waiting for me to drop this and i can't blame him because of the million self help and health fads I've taken up and dropped over the years.

I have to be honest and say that I am having a difficult time determining how much of this is me projecting my own issues onto him. Now that I am aware of my addiction it is scary to me and I think I may be projecting it onto him. It seems very murky to me and I can't really trust myself right now. I have been assuming lately that just about everyone I know is an alcoholic. Haha

Grace, don't apologize for contributing! I find everyone's insights and experiences really helpful.

I have a horrible headache so I will be back tomorrow. Xoxox

And thanks again Dee, Kaneda, Rochele, and Grace for weighing in with me :)

Grace

Do you have any cravings ? I think you have been abstinent for quite a few months now, correct ? I am wondering what is it about the 'buzz' that you miss ? Is it because of the anesthetic type feeling where the edges seem to be smoothed over ? Does it act as a way of 'ending' the events of the day ? Maybe you could try some 'me' time where for 30 mins at the end of the day, you isolate yourself and simply reflect ?

Having a hard time with anxiety. I worry very irrationally about things happening to my child. I do have anxiety problems and I see how alcohol helped me deaden them.

I am also having a lot of guilt and sadness about break being over and having to take kiddo back to school tomorrow. I just want to be with my baby and not go back. :(

I'm sorry Renarde - I hope that after a week or so both you and kiddo will be re-accustomed to the school year.

Grace I resented being sober for a few months - I knew I HAD to do it...I just didn't want to.


I wanted to leave all the bad consequences behind for sure - but I wanted to drink too, DAMMIT.

That started to change when I started to build a sober life...one that better reflected the needs and the aspirations of sober me.

My old life was fine for drink me, but sober Dee needed more...maybe it's the same for you too? :dunno:

D

Good morning all. Stiff muscles after yesterday's hike in the hills! Another sober day here thank goodness.

I don't have any words of wisdom r.e. partners who drink while we are trying to quit except that if they aren't willing to stop at least for a while so that one can get some traction it would suggest at least a certain level of dependence on their behalf as well. I think us 'problem drinkers' are just the tip of a very large iceberg sometimes.

Quick post all is well... have a great week

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