Clemence

When I first heard one day at a time, I didn't get it as well. I thought it was just a cliche which rang hollow. I believe the deeper meaning to this phrase is that you can only live in the present. You can't live in the future. So, just focus on now. By committing yourself to staying sober right now it makes not picking up a drink much easier. Consequently, there is no tomorrow because it becomes the present if you focus on living in the now. The summarized version is living a sober life one day at a time.

To me, that makes more sense. We only have the day and nothing more.

Oh, the eternal question ! Even AA folks struggle with this. They dodge it by simply accepting that they can't. Hence, the allergy concept. So far, I've been treating the addiction like smoking. When one quits smoking, it's for good. Same with the drink. Working so far I guess (fingers and toes crossed).

Yeah, Kaneda, health is my best plan for keeping focus. It is very logical, and there is no argument that is is a healthier choice not to drink. Period. But, when we give up other vices, like candy, and carbs, we have some wiggle room, or maybe not. I actually fail at all of these things in life. I do really well, and have some great success and health benefits. then I lapse. I eat well most of the time, but then I get into a bag of chips, and it becomes lard to get back on track with my health. I will fall off the exercise routine as well, and lose that for awhile. Then I come back around. (haha, leaving that ypo because it is funny, lard should be hard, lol)

I feel like that is how I am with my drinking. I can reign it in, I can rack up some sober time, but then I lump it in with my other vices, that have less dire consequences. with the alcohol, there is less of a spectrum of falling. You sink deeply into it very quickly and it is more damaging to one's health than the other "slips" on has with exercise or food. Although, maybe not.

I think I am like a smoking drinker, but food is my other addictive struggle. Needing to give up all of the addictions. We discuss that carbs are addictive on a diabetic group where I post. Many of us there do best to have none or very few and no grains, or refined grain, at all.

So, renewing my focus on health and wellness. I have had that plan all week. After Halloween(candy) and the party, to get serious about food, fitness and the sobriety. I think, once I decided to have my friend over and invite others, my AV was thinking of it as a last hurrah on all levels: food, and drink.

Getting to that once the cheesecake is gone. :hide

I hope that we are all okay with staying as a group even though we have had some slips among us. In the past, my groups dissolved or dwindled once anyone slipped at all, and then it felt awkward. I love how we are all still supportive and connected. We have gotten to know one anothr and I think that helps us understand and advise one another.

I appreciate you all very much. Thank you.

Yeah I hope so too.

So this is my first full day of the Atkins diet. A diet that is basically all I can eat of eggs, steak, tuna, and bacon! What could possibly go wrong?

I hope we do too xx

UI, Sounds great! LOL. I did not ever follow any specific diet by eating low carb helped me to lose 50 pounds! It gets hard after while. For me, eventually, calories do matter to a degree, but what you eat definitely matters.

If you are doing induction, know that you may feel pretty crappy for a few days or a week. Stay strong and it gets easier and you will feel better, and have less hunger and fewer cravings. Giving up carbs is not unlike giving up alcohol, for me. it is challenging, but I feel better when I eat that way.

A couple I know have recently lost a good amount of weight doing South Beach. I am not sure how it differs from Atkins, but similar.

Good luck with it! I hope it brings you the health benefits you are seeking. I know you have felt frustrated.

UI and Rochele we definitely need to stick together as a group. If people leave after a little slip it may just end up seeming like a contest to see who can hold out the longest. The support and advice we can share through all our different experiences is so invaluable. We are like a family now. Through thick and thin
:ring

We definitely need to stick together. Slips or not, we have all made progress. My heart breaks a little every time someone disappears.

Rochele, do you really believe you are an alcoholic? For me, that has made a big difference. Incorporating that into my identity and trying to accept it has made a big difference. Not to mention the liver pain I had for so long.

As for the one day at a time - what that means to me is focus on what is immediately at hand. You can't address tomorrow and you can't address forever. The only thing you can work on right now is today. Forever is too overwhelming.

I'm definitely sick, no fun.

I didn't mean to make any one feel bad ....

Hi Friends,
Lots of good stuff on here. I have read it all but haven't been able to chime in as my in laws are in town, so I am checking in on the sly.

UI, I totally relate to your disappointment about no visible change since you have stopped drinking. I haven't lost a pound, in fact I think I have gained. I thought for sure my belly would shrink a bit, but no such luck. But I have found more self acceptance and less guilt about my appearance. Like, OK, I am not a supermodel but at least 50% of my calories don't come from alcohol. Also, I have to believe that my face, especially my eyes look better, clearer, not puffy or red.

I agree that we need to stick together as a class. If I thought that a slip meant I couldn't come back to you guys it would make a slip turn into defeat way too easily. I would think, what the heck, I don't have to be accountable to them anymore, I'll just join another class when things get bad again.

Off to be an amazing hostess and daughter in law. Just one of the many roles I play. I should get some sort award!

Oh, I also wanted to mention: has anyone PM'ed Plenny, Blkdiesel, or any of the others we haven't heard from lately? I PM'ed Plenny about a week ago and got no response. :(

Fish, why do you think you made someone feel bad?

I have tried to contact Plenny. :(

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At my gathering here last night, we go tto talking a bit about our young teenagers. We all have 13-14 year olds(some also have some older and younger kids too). One woman told the account of a 15 year old I know very well(lives across the street from me) and her near fatal alcohol binge. She is a handful for her parents, in general. Apparently she was at a large party and all the kids sneak stuff in, hiding it in Gatorade, water bottles, and I have even heard that they tape ziplock baggies to their legs. Well, she drank wayyy too much, too fast, and needed an ambulance ride to the hospital, comatose for 4 hours, etc... She is okay, was okay the next day.

I felt terrible that I had not heard. Her mom and I usually chat a couple of times a week, but I am sure it was an awkward thing to just bring up. The friend who sahred the story said it is no secret, as there were hundreds of guests at the party and the mom wants to spread word so other kids don't do the same.

I worry so much about that girl. I really do. I do hope that scared her.

Not sure why I am sharing, but it seems an appropriate topic on an alcoholic forum. Apparently my kids know about this incident. They were told by a younger sibling in the family. So, we all had a good talk this morning about underage drinking and the dangers of alcohol poisoning, etc... Taught my daughter about never taking drinks that are opened or handed to her at a party. She does not yet go to parties.

I hate that my children have 2 parents that have abused/abuse alcohol/are alcoholic. There is another very good reason to demonstrate sobriety for them, moving forward.

Why do you say this Fish? I cannot think of anything you said or did that would make anyone feel bad.

Rochele, so scary. We have a 16 year old daughter who I know does not drink but neither did I at 16. Lots of years are coming up for her, not to mention our other kids. I think it is wise of your neighbor to not keep it a secret. Let everyone be informed. It sucks that her daughter has to be the object, but hopefully that event will help her turn her ship around.

I don't know if my kids have noticed that I have stopped. I was pretty sneaky with the vodka, but I drank wine in front of them pretty regularly.

Hi everyone, im back and still sober, enjoyed having my kids- weather wasn't great but they enjoyed themselves. Still up and down emotionally felt REALLY bad last night after the kids had gone to bed. They've gone back to their mums now. I went to aa meeting and went well but fighting it at the minute.

Its weird I don't want to get drunk but I do want to stop my mind racing so much, regrets about the past and worries about the future- I do get what aa says about living in the now but to do that in the past ive been drinking to stop the thinking......

Hoping it will all stabilise in time, cant just switch the feelings I have for girl in aa off, just trying to get by day by day sober- but it is hard.

1stepup((( hugs)) emotions that we blotted out we feel in Technicolor now i think I am not going far tonight if you want to talk the weather is wild down south

Because I said I was getting sick. Just one of his silly jokes ;)

That totally terrifies me about the teens. My child has it on all sides genetically. Both sides of my family, both sides of Dh's family, etc. I want to be able to tell the baby that I'm an alcoholic and I chose to become sober when kiddo was 2. I want to be able to speak earnestly about the dangers of alcohol, and set a good example. Husband drinks pretty moderately, so hopefully he can demonstrate "normal" drinking, which I never saw growing up.