LP glad you are back, I feel it's time though, that you acknowledged to yourself that just being here is not enough. If you are going to find a way of coping with life's events without alcohol, I believe you need to make bigger changes to your mindset. I don't believe you will get all that you need here alone. I will be thinking of you and Steve's other friends, his young wife and small children as you all say goodbye to someone you have loved. You cannot be there for his young wife if you make this just about you. And you know that. As you know I am saying this with love in my heart for you.

Na'ah, you get the driving seat every time! But on the last thread you then posted in the shotgun seat too! I told you off at the time! Poor 1days inner child nearly had apoplexy!

Joy, word of the day APOPLEXY

Shoes, whilst looking for a different graduation present when daughter passed out in the police, i came across several items of jewellery which allow you to put a small amount of a loved ones ashes in. Many could be engraved. Not sure if this appeals, but I didn't know whether you had heard of it or not? I guess it's a way of several people having a personal reminder, or of keeping a small amount whilst spreading the rest as suggested by Sass.

DD, you are welcome to my right knee ( you were obviously having sympathy pains Marcher!) it is not quite a knackered as your hips, but if it was a dog I'd call it 'Old Yeller' ! Good luck at the Docs

LOL ok I get it now - sorry Toots I was never much of a shotgun thread adherent...I just post when I have something to say :)

D

I don't believe this is the time for a lecture Toots!

["You cannot be there for his young wife if you make this just about you."I][/I]

It was never about me Toots. If that's the common feeling amongst the group then I was right first time. Over and out!

I hope you are feeling some closure when you get back from the visit Life. Have you tried chamomile or lavender tea when you are going to bed? The volatile oils can really help you sleep.

LT, I understand your anger and have reacted the same way myself at times. I got really PO'd at Dee a couple of times when I was in your spot. I also know that Toots cares about all of us very much. One of the most difficult things I finally had to learn is to not go off in a huff when someone said something I didn't want to hear or in some cases, wasn't ready to hear and in some cases wasn't helpful to me. We can't put the burden of knowing what's right for us on someone else's shoulders.

I found that as I quietly (I hope) learned to deal with stuff, it ceased bothering me so much. It's often fairly easy to predict what reactions we will get from people so if i didn't like the reaction, I found it was best not to say what would provoke the reaction. For me, after awhile I calmed down and gradually realized more and more that my discomfort and sometimes anger were expressions of my own problems. That took a long time. From there I slowly moved on to being able to listen to lovingly-given advice and not feeling peeved. I may not always agree, but others are just as entitled to their perspective as I am to mine. IMHO, getting upset at another's well-meant advice is not surprising, especially early in recovery. Learning how to handle that within ourselves is part of recovery!

Please try not to leave or threaten to leave in a huff when you read a post you don't like. Instead try setting it aside and just sit with it for a bit. Dee put up with quite a bit from me for awhile!

(((hugs)))

LT, ps love the "hair" cut and color :-)

DD, Shoes will love you if you love hot hog pie, lol! I know that ongoing medical problems are no fun. Please remember, though, that the medical professionals mean well even when they tell us stupid stuff like "you only have about 5 years to live". They've told me that on a number of occasions, one was 15 years ago, another was 4 years ago. In both cases, the problems cleared up. I've had a variety of medical issues all of my life and can't say I'm happy about them but so far none has kept me down for long. For me it's like I'm an Energizer bunny who needs an occasional nap ;)

I don't want anyone to think I'm just breezing through all this not drinking business like its nothing. I struggle in different ways than cravings. I struggle with inertia. I just have found a new way to hide from life without drinking. I've been hiding behind my parents. Don't think I don't worry about what I will do when my Dad goes and it just me. I won't have anyone to remind me I can't just do what I want whenever I want to do it. I'm scared about that.

I struggle with getting a life. I just hide from building one by staying home a lot and just telling myself I have to do everything for my parents...now just my Dad.

You know Life, I admire that you put it out there your struggles. I'm not so sure I just don't put myself in a safe house so I don't risk taking a risk. Easy for me to not drink when I don't do anything. One of these days I'm going to have to do something.

Now don't be leaving Life. This is hard stuff. I can't be just sitting around talking about my bananas all the time.

Good morning ya'll!
LP, Your new Heilan Coo avatar is adorable! That's my fav so far.

Sassy, I really like your posts even more now that you're procrastinating. Even though you may be speaking to another person, I still ponder your words for myself. Thanks.

Toots, I had to have another coffee before tackling your word. And I cannot type worth a crap this morning. I did, however sleep for 7 hours last night.

apoplexy-Apoplectic comes from a Greek word that means to "disable by a stroke." What is a stroke? The sudden loss of consciousness or control caused when a blood vessel in the brain ruptures or becomes blocked. When this happens, a person becomes apoplectic. This word also applies to someone who acts so upset, it is like he or she is having a stroke.

ex- My MIL, bless her heart, disliked my remark about her stupid tapestry so much she nearly, nearly had apoplexy. Just nearly. (And I say that with all of the love in the world.)

Joy, I dealt with MIL by dating a different daughter first, When I got married MIL and FIL wouldn't speak to me. Worked ok for me!

Well, crap, Ken. It's a little late for that, don't you think? :tapping You know how it's done, dude. Thinking ahead. :c011:

I think I would have to suffocate hubby's brother with a pillow if I had to marry him instead!and I actually like hubby's brother. Just wouldn't be married to him!!!

Budd I think you need to draw us a kind of family tree of your convoluted relations and relationships! I'm thinking Cletus out of the Simpsons !!!

Here's one you need a scorecard for.

I was dating a girl named Jan, Jan's XH name was Ken. XH remarried another Jan. They had 2 kids, Ken Jr and Miss Jan.

All 6 of us went out to dinner one night
3 Kens and 3 Jans.

That was confusing even to us!

That just shows a severe lack of imagination there Budd! Lol x

Toots, I had nothing to do with it!

Good morning Marchers! Sass, like Joy I read and ponder words even when they're not directed at me, yours especially.

I like your word of the day Joy, I've had apoplexy lots of times!

Shoes I find this not drinking thing keeps teaching me stuff too, the main thing it's taught me is that I am not half as dumb/imperfect/stupid as I used to think I was. I'm actually alright when I give myself a chance.

Today, as well as going to work, I'm polishing my cheerleader shoes, making my streamers and pompoms and whatever else cheerleaders do. I draw the line at going to a salon and getting a fake tan but I'll be ready for Joy's race. Are you ready Joy? BTW what time (about) does the race start and finish in your time and which day for you?

Have a good and sober Frursday peeps.

Wow! Ken's exploits get more and more complicated.

Joy, that's why Ken lives alone now!

Good morning Marcher!

the race is Saturday at 9:00 am, central standard time. Um,,,, it will take me somewhere between 40 minutes and an hour and a half. My usual time is 50 min. I'm not fast at all. If I end up crawling, it could take a bit longer? We run through the historical part of town, with bigger hills than I'm used to!!! I'll imagine you cheering! My family won't be there, they have other things to do. And there's a party afterwards, oh boy, at the courthouse square. You know, a lemonade and cookies thing. Then, prizes. Yeah, I won't be getting prizes, but that's not the point. So, there you have it. Hope you have a great Friday!
I'm going to my salon tomorrow to have my hair and nails done, so I'll be extra fancy race day-haha!

best wishes joygirl :)

D