Hey uninvited, you ok?
Its a lot to give up two things at once, do you think its a good idea? X

yeah urge surfing really changed the game for me taking :)

some people can quit both at one Univited - I did...but others find they interpret any craving as an alcoholic one, and that's pretty miserable.

Do what you think is best :)

welcome to B-boo and beherenow :)

D

Hi all. Day 12 today. and I have only been drinking one night in the last 20. So, while it is only day 12, it is a lot of abstinent days too.

Dh came home with a case and a half of beer for the next week or so. Sigh...

Honestly when it was out of the house for a few days, it was very easy to avoid. Funny thing that is. Had a little thought of it, but then quickly think, without forcing it, about how I really do not feel well after I drink, ever, anymore. Just for the few hours I am drinking, then quickly feel bleh. I feel for now, that it really has lost its thrill. Felling ill with a cold could be helping that thought process.

Welcome to new members. We have a great group, very active posting, so you picked a good month to quit!

Thanks kane x
Sorry uninvited, I didnt mean it couldn't be done.x
Rochele, thats tough I can't handle drink being in the house in the first months, hope youll be ok xx

Good job Lorelei Xoxo

There's no one size fits all way to tackle the smoking thing Lorelei...I tackled both but I gather I'm in the minority that way :)

I was glad to see you left the pub when you felt uncomfortable...I think early recovery is a lot like weight training really...if you try and lift too much too soon you may do yourself a mischief :)

D

No choice Lorelai. Well, I could divorce, but he is a pretty good guy. Just likes his beer, a bit to much. I just do not feel like it is fair for me to insist, since he tolerated the drunken me for so long. No fights, no complaints. But, it has been my downfall several times. I feel stronger this time.

At least it sits in the basement, and I think I will move it tomorrow, so I do not see it at all, unless I open the extra fridge.

Day one again tomorrow after a long day of heartbreak, and a surprising bout of hopefulness. My foster mom called and she didn't seem mad, and I haven't felt suicidal today.

Hope you're all doing well xo

I'm glad you're back alphabet :)

D

Yeah I'm not sure heh. In some ways I feel blessed. The tobacco craving is so bad right now I'm not even thinking about alcohol. I may quit soon if I feel a problem with my other sobriety.

Wow. Ok no I can't do that. 9.5 hours almost killed me. :gaah

Aw UI, one step at a time, im off to bed, again, gnight x

I had a mini-revelation last night when I was having terribly bad cravings.

I tend to get really worked up and anxious when I am battling that loud alcoholic voice in my head, as if it is a matter of life or death whether or not I have that drink.

But then I realized, it is not a matter of life or death if I don't have that drink. Not taking that drink isn't going to kill me.

It is, however, a matter of life or death if I do take that drink.

It seems so simple and obvious, but it was like fireworks were going off in my head. I can't believe it's taken me over a year to let that sink in, really feel it in my bones.

I just watched a documentary on YouTube called "Drugged, High on Alcohol". I wish I'd seen it years ago. It's very "sobering" I will be thinking about it for many days. Very powerful.

Beginning of day six,

the weekend is ahead of me and I have two gigs to contend with (the first one is a trial). I don't think it means it will be difficult to resist as I drank every other day of the week anyway!

I used to think that my drinking (responsibly) while DJing was preserving the last bastion of drinking on the job, but now I think that its not professional (thanks to advice from someone I look up to), and that it is unfair on bar staff.

When I used to play at Raves/Dance parties I would not take any thing so that I could stay sharp and sculpt the mood and tell a story. Why I have not done this in a pub environment in respects to alcohol I don't know.

I should have been rehearsing the last few days, but found it difficult due to drinking being ingrained in that activity. I'm going to cram today though and hope that this is enough.

I'm going to be playing 80's pop, disco, house and deep house to a venue that has a slight reputation for unsophisticated patrons who drink to excess. I think they want to change this but I don't think they know how.

At least I'll be sharp and have quicker responses to requests and questions.

(my night usually comprises of nice ways to say "I don't take requests of music I don't like")

Well wishes to everyone.

.

Just feel like rambling a little now that I'm no longer shaking from the nicotine withdrawal. I'm falling asleep pretty quickly lately and sleeping ok but the crazy dreams continue. I think the one last night involved me finding a baby and needing to take care of it. It got me to thinking about how alcoholics talk about all these "vivid dreams" we have when we sober up. Do you think maybe these are just "normal dreams" but they seem vivid to us because we haven't really dreamed in years? Just a thought.

I'm disappointed that I'm not on day 21 like I should be. I gave it up for a few nights of solo drinking last weekend which all in all were not really that great or worth it. Really mad at myself and hope to hell I can keep from making the same mistake this weekend.

I am ashamed to say that I sometimes compare myself to stories I hear and I think, "Wow I have a lot of problems but thankfully I'm not that bad." I mean one beer doesn't end up with me losing a wallet, and I don't text bad things to all my family before I end up losing my phone too. I guess the only point is it doesn't end up in a blackout for me. I'm still an alcoholic so I'm not sure what good this observation does me really, but I have it from time to time.

I'm finding the boredom at night pretty hard. I live alone with my two dogs who basically just sleep most of the time. I used to read a lot but I'm finding it harder to stay focused on reading now that I'm sober. And the reality television shows are really much less fun sober. Oddly enough, I seem to have morphed into a fan of "The First 48" - which for those of you not in the US is a show about solving murders within the first 48 hours. A depressing series actually, and maybe that says something about my mood.

uninvited

I've been told (by a reputable source) that dreams (crazy or not) is a really good thing. I cant remember why but it is a good sign.

Oh my god. That's me. I couldn't get past 10 minutes, because it's like looking in the mirror and I hate what I see :(

Can you get a lock on the fridge so that you cant access it ? We did that with our wine cave and my partner holds the key :)

I heard my AV loud and clear tonight...jeez that was weird. Thirty minutes ago getting in the shower, 9:15pm here, and been fine all evening. And a voice said to me, "just one glass of white wine and then you can go to bed". I agreed with it, and told myself after I get out one glass would taste really good right now, HOLY MOLY!! Luckily, I had a talk with myself and my AV while in the shower. It told me that no one on SR would ever know and I could just continue my 5th day tomorrow...and then it hit me, this is when everyone says to come here...before the drink. Well, I coasted through 3 days but, boy am I glad I belong here to have the tools to get through the 4th, and 5th etc.

No wine in my glass...and chilling with my cranberry juice.