Class of April 2013 Part 6
 

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-5-a-20.html

D

Thanks for the kind words DG :)

with closing threads, if I'm not here, and we're seriously over limit, just report the last post and ask someone else to do the honours.

5 or ten posts over is no biggie tho.

Johnny this is as simple a guide for pics as I have:

for your own pics
www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/147678-how-put-pics-your-posts.html

otherwise just get the URL, hit this icon http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nsertimage.gif in the posting toolbar, cut and paste and you're away

nice bracelet Jennie :)

D

Johnny, do you use Photobucket? If you have a photobucket, you can use the shared links from within there, otherwise, what Dee posted looks really simple... Tinypic. I've used it before and it worked well. Very minimalistic. Photobucket ticks me off sometimes. I nearly forgot about Tinypic.

Husband is out of town visiting family tonight. He went to see his nieces and nephew, and took them birthday presents, and also took our kayaks so they could all go out in the water and have fun. I'm home alone, sort of moping around, eating boring food today... laying off the sugar. So, that means all carbs and sugars, desserts, everything.

Not feeling good today. I have an infection that I won't go into details about. It's nothing serious though. I'll get over it soon. Taking some meds for it. But just feeling like crap in general today.

I've fed all the cats and kicked all of them outside for the night, except for the kitten. She gets to stay inside right now, as she is too young still to get spayed but approaching the age where it's possible she could get pregnant... better safe than sorry in this case.

Probably going to bed early and read recovery books.

night Jennie :)

D

Husband called, on his way home... lol. Bringing the ten yr old nephew to spend the night :) I'm happier now. Guess I was really missing him...

30 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Die. I liked this...

30 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Die | Next Avenue

So I started the generic antidepressant today. I feel dazed. I'm just going to go with it and see what ends up happening. Can always go with name brand or another antidepressant entirely. This is one of the worst processes in medicine, trial by error with meds that effect your brain. Sorry I'm harping so much on this.

Sundays have been a hard day for me to 'not drink. No idea why that has become the day now.

Anyway, all is quiet on SR April today. You all must be out having fun. The weather is fantastic in CT today. And it seems like everyone is out.

These are great, thanks for posting, Johnny :) I re-posted to my Twitter.

Hello all, been a busy weekend, went by too fast. Did not do anything vitally important, just a lot of little things that added up. Quiet PM here, rainy and humid so even though the temps are cool, the AC is on. There was a break in the rain so my dog and I walked. She really does not like to walk and more moseys along than walks. We did not go far, but she is worn out.

120 days sober today! Although the month anniversary date is the 6th, with July and May having 31 days and all. But I decided to observe the 6th of every month as the anniversary from now on, getting away from days.. Oh it is so complex!

Hi guys. Checking in. Watched The Avengers last night. I had No clue it was on Netflix. That is my exciting life. Trying to get on new med very slowly. At a really tiny dose now. Had someone offer me some writing work today. Just the thought sends the AV talking.

Talk later.

-j-dawg

Drake, congrats on 120!

Johnny, I saw that on Netflix recently, is it good?

We've had our niece and nephew over the past few days. They're enjoying being away from home, and doing and seeing new things. They like playing with our cats, and especially the new kitten.

We have watched lots of My Little Pony and played Mario Kart on Wii ;) I came in 2nd place on Mario Kart, yay! Lol.

About to go to bed an hour or so early tonight... I need some "me" time, to unwind and read some recovery books. Working my way through The Dialectical Behavior Therapy workbook I bought recently. It's good stuff.

Sold an item on eBay today, sort of pumped about that! Would be nice to make a sell like this every day :) We'd be set.

congrats Drake :)

D

Day 120 no alcohol here. And day 20 no weed.

I'm sleepy as heck though. Getting up earlier every day is really catching up to me.

I just had about 5 paragraphs. Somehow I wiped it, and now can't find it.

F$#k.

I'm in a filthy, $hitty mood. Extreme recap: Out and out brawl with wife last night. Full on screaming match. I'll not go into incredible detail AGAIN, but here are the cliff notes:

Blue Dog is evil toward strangers. Professional trainer consulted, hired, paid to the tune of MANY $hitty charcoal drawings, and perhaps just whoring myself to the tourists drawing portraits at Waikiki.

Trainer sees wife interact with BD. Trainer suggests wife work with her exclusively. BD pretty calm when W not present. BD a complete maniac when W present.

Blue Dog is on a strict: No beach. No park. No stranger regimen until his behavior is modified, and we get a better handle on it.

Despite a large fenced in backyard, ample frisbee time, and whatever else...W cannot stand the fact that her little dog didn't get a walk, play, whatever. Talks me into playing in the front yard...I see neighbor before dog. Tell wife: Grab dog. Neighbor clinks his garbage bag of recycling (as one would normally do). Dog hears. Dog loses his $hit, wife loses dog, dog races after neighbor, dog barks and freaks out, and actually nips toward the hand of neighbor. Neighbor swearing and screaming while wife meekly calls for said dog.

In about one motion I covered approximately 25 yds, grabbed the dog, and had him in his crate.

Once the dust settled, apologies, and the please don't $@#king sue me conversation is had...I'm back in the house, and shaking with...oh, about an 11 of the rage scale.
All I said was: "You had the dog. How did he get away?"
Full on yelling festival ensued...dog is going berserk in his crate adding to the mix...

So I left, and said a ****** thing when the W asked where I was going, something to the effect of I'm an adult, I can go where I please, when I please without checking in with my minders.

But...

Leaving at that point was about my only recourse. I was absolutely shaking, and crazed with how the $#@& did that just happen? SHE HAD THE DOG IN HER HAND.

Anyway. I went to the grocery store and just walked about. Stood in the beer aisle for a good 5 minutes, just looking.

Had many thoughts of Just Eff it. Didn't buy anything. Still had the thought of turning into the pub. Came home and put my headphones on and listened to angry music and scribbled in my sketchbook. Resisted the urge to euphemistically kill both my dog, and wife.

The W makes both me and BD crazy it seems.

><

Scout, oh my... it does sound pretty awful. Sorry this happened.

Is the trainer suggesting she work with your wife instead of you? Is it something about one person being the alpha at home? Dogs being in a pack, and all... they need to know one person is the master? Anyway, this is just hearsay I've heard mentioned by other people.

But it sounds like you would be the alpha, considering what just happened, and that you got things under control.

But as for going to the beer aisle... yikes! Conscious decision or just happen to be passing by it? Be careful.

DG, congrats on 120!!

I'm glad you didn't drink Scout.

I'm no expert but maybe BD is not recognising your wife as a pack leader - maybe she's not giving out leader signals, which is why he goes off in her charge, and probably why the trainer wants to work with her.

as for your wife letting him go, I can understand your anger but I can understand the situation too.

I dunno how big BD is or your wife for that matter, or how much time they spend together, but a batsh*t dog is a lot to hang onto if you're not really expecting it?

D

Yep, Scout, it's clear as a bell to me. The wife needs to establish dominance. I think that's why the trainer wants her to work with the dog.

A lot of people don't naturally speak dog, and so they don't interact with dogs correctly. I don't fault them for it unless they have been made aware of the problem and won't do anything about it. It's just not "natural" for most people like it is for you and me.

That's what a trainer is for. I maintain that trainers train human beings, not dogs :)

I definitely don't speak dog. I think my cats are more likely to do what I tell them to than a dog is, and that's really saying something!

Of course--time and reflection have lessened the starkness of the situation.

The trainer was here last night. Blue Dog and the Wife worked with her for an hour. At this point, I am merely eye candy. (This is my story, so I'll tell it how I want to).

The issue is a matter of pack leader and such. Also: BD is spoiled completely rotten by guess who? There isn't a lot he cannot do.

Dee: Blue Dog is about 45 lbs. of Furry Destruction. He is a 2.5 yr old Blue Heeler, (Queensland Heeler, or Australian Cattle Dog). He is extremely: Fast. Smart. Strong. Impulsive. Driven. Batsh*t Bonkers.
Yes, the dog was going bananas at the neighbor, and was in a "down". The problem came when W relaxed just the iota that Blue Dog needed to make the dash, and POOF! Gone-zo.

Also, before you guys get the impression that I am some sort of psycho with some crazy expectation of a tiny woman dealing with our dog:

We are ranch kids.

The first time I met her parents, I brought a horse. We trailered out to their bull pasture and brought their bulls in. This girl thinks nothing of working cattle, tagging calves (no easy task, and a lot harder than holding a dog), walloping a bull on his snout, or loping after a calf back to the herd.

All is more calm now--and as for me in the beer aisle: In my defense, it is near the milk, which is one thing I was after. I tend to go grocery shopping when I'm pissed. Figure that out. I haven't been that mad in...I don't know. A long time. I think both the beer aisle, and the idea I could go to the pub was some deep, old time (not that much old time...) thinking that it'd be a lot easier to have a few, rather than confront my anger like a sane person.

The deal with our dog, and this gloriously expensive trainer is a quality of life thing. We can't really expect to be calm, and rational people out and about if we're constantly worrying about our creature going after some one. So...we made it official last night, Blue Dog, the W, and myself signed on for 10 training sessions. The nice part about our trainer is that she seems to think it won't take that long to get the results we're after--and we can use our fees toward attending a class or something if Blue Dog can manage to be nice, and learn some manners.

Having a better morning than yesterday. Still bummed we're on a beach/public ban...so BD and I will have to entertain ourselves at home somehow. I'm going to make a run to Petco and get a long line so we can at least play some frisbee out front, and if something comes up, he'll be literally attached to me. (However: he doesn't run after people with me...I'm playing by the trainer rules).

Anyway. Thanks all for listening. This was very much the last (only place)*edit* place I could turn to for a bit of support, and understanding on the very real, very surprising, and very scary thoughts I had that my immediate reaction was to either buy some beer, or hit the pub.

A good reminder that I am not--nor probably ever will be--out of the woods yet.

Be well, and STAY.
-sb

Off to the orthodontist today. Will have a sore mouth for a few days. Taking our niece with me, she is staying with us a few days over summer vacation before school starts. Seems like I haven't had alone time in days now... that's somewhat of a strain on me. Not a trigger really, as I have no cravings anymore. But it's just something that really grates on me after a while, when I have to entertain others. I'm handling it well though. Hope I can last a day or two longer.

Scout, thanks for the story and I can relate. I had a pretty horrible couple of days at work and felt very much like getting a bottle last night to blow off steam. I was extremely frustrated (and rightly so) by a work situation not worth going into. Most days I make enough money to put up with just about any crap that happens at work, but when the crap happens and the money's not there to be made at the same time, I get a bit squirrelly. Yes, that's a word.

Then, as I was going over all the reasons that stopping at the liquor store would be a horrible idea, I almost got into a major accident on the freeway because some knucklehead swerved right in front of me at 70 mph to avoid missing an exit and having to take 5 minutes of his precious time to turn around. I slammed the brakes but would've hit him had I not swerved into the next lane, which caused the guy behind me in that lane to have to slam on his brakes. It was really, really close. Fortunately, I and the driver behind me were both paying attention to the one jackalope who was not, so there was not a three car pileup. I can't remember the last time I was that pissed! I had the distinct thought that the universe must WANT me to drink today, god dammit! But I actually chuckled at how morbidly absurd that idea was and went to the gym and lifted until I couldn't, then I spent the evening on the phone with a couple of old friends I hadn't talked to in too long. And after a good night's sleep I've had a much better perspective on the work nonsense. Even the worst of days aren't really THAT bad considering where I've been and the crap at work will dissipate. It always does eventually.

Also, yesterday made 4 months without a drop of alcohol. Progress!

Congrats to you, Paul, on your 4 months!

HI kids,

Crazy incident. What kind of dog is BD? Nice neighbor to leave it alone.

SoberJennie, Avengers is pretty good if you like the comic book movies. I thought it was fine to take up 2 hours of my time. Last night I got into Lost on Netflix. I have never seen an episode. Ohhhhh...boy, I'm in trouble now. I got sucked in and watched about 4-5 episodes.

Feel lousy because of the Lexapro, more like Lexicrap. Very drowsy. I haven't done jack in days. Though it is already hitting my anxiety and OCD. That whole thing about these drugs taking at least 4 weeks to do anything is a load of horse crap. I'm not someone to suffer for a month to see if its going to work or if side effects will go away. So I'll have to figure out what to do. Just way too drowsy to do anything.

So nothing to report as I have really done nothing. Waiting for the Alexandra to come around. I haven't seen her for days actually. It's been fine. It is so obvious I don't belong here. I need to feel like I used to on my Prozac and move on, travel around.

LOL I'm from Qld.

TBH, Sounds like every other blue heeler I've known Scout - they *really* defend their territory.

congrats on getting through a bad day and hitting 4 months Paul.

take it easy Jennie, DG, Johnny Goat and Drake :)

D

Scout, congrats on signing up with the trainer then, hope it all works out and Blue Dog is nice and well behaved soon.

Sounds good!

As for my day... It was great! We made it to the ortho on time. Teeth are all nice and tightening back up again. We then ate lunch, got coffee and ice-cream, went to the library to renew my card, both of us got a couple of books... She got two on mythology, and I got Joe by Larry Brown and a book by Wendell Berry. We also went to the Riverwalk downtown. She played in the water fountain, and then we walked all over the place... I'll probably have some nice sore feet tomorrow because I was wearing three inch wedges!

All in all, a nice day!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Hi Bandicoots!

I'm off to work early this morning but wanted to stop in and say 'hi' to all here. :)

Today is day 22 no weed, so yesterday was 3 weeks!! And it's day 122 no alcohol.

I well know crazy dogs, my Pug Olive is certifiably nuts. Poor dear had some congenital brain damage and I am her third family. She was in pound and rescue before I got her. She has seizures from time to time. Oddly, she has not had one since I have been sober.. wonder about that.... Anyway, she has many odd behaviors (she spent nearly 20 minutes a couple nights ago barking at and running from a walnut on the ground, later a stray cat came by and she just looked at him as he sauntered by) stares into space a lot and basically stays to herself most of the day unless food is in order. At least she is as slow as a sloth so I can keep up with her.

Since my nervous habit still requires me to have a drink in my hand and I do not like cola all that much, I stock up on Club Soda. I know your feeling Scout about grocery stores, I have to run the gauntlet of the liquor department to get it.

Other than that, all status quo here. Congrats on 3 weedless weeks DG and to 4 months Paul!

Drake, I'm a fan of club soda and seltzer too. Good stuff.