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Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 3845414)
I had to learn was people were going to be annoyed with me when I stood up for what I wanted and needed. I used to be very complaint. The changes in me took some people back, but I never regretted them because I knew I need to make those changes - for me. It was difficult to sit with peoples displeasure, but I got over it - and so did they :) D |
Originally Posted by venuscat
(Post 3845419)
I know this may sound weird, but if it was me, I would talk to him about this, when you feel you can, when the time is right. Tell him how you feel, talk to him openly and honestly...it sounds to me like you two have a strong loving relationship, and no matter how difficult some conversations are, it is better to get it out. The love and the trust you have built up between you will get you both through. After a cool down period I explained to him that I want to be strong and be there for him but when he brings alcohol into the equation that I unravel and can't be there for him because when drinking is involved I need to be there for myself. He was upset that I turned the whole thing about my alcoholism when he was the one who came home did the right thing and needed a shoulder to lean on... And he's not really wrong but I felt misunderstood, he just doesn't understand the internal struggle I'm dealing with. After a hot shower and a ice cream run everything was back to normal and I let him talk it all out while I just listened. We still have issues and boundaries to iron out, and I need to figure out a wayto live with his drinking eventually but for now peace has been restored. Thank you D and V for being there for me when i needed you- your support makes all the difference. |
Originally Posted by melissa6381
(Post 3845483)
Thank you D and V for being there for me when i needed you- your support makes all the difference. and FYI your support means everything to me....don't know how I would do this without you. Love u lots, Venus xx :) |
Originally Posted by venuscat
(Post 3845497)
...don't know how I would do this without you. Love u lots |
Originally Posted by melissa6381
(Post 3845471)
D, thank you so much. I read this a few hours ago in the heat of the moment and it helped me a lot to "sit in people's displeasure". I will carry this advice with me. |
Originally Posted by Starbaby928
(Post 3845247)
Thanks PK! Choosing a sponsor seems daunting. I feel like I'm going to share deeply personal things with this person who will undoubtedly be a stranger! I just need to relent to the process though and jump in there! :-D I don't know if you're feeling the same apprehension... But I've told myself I'll identify and approach someone by the end of the week. I never thought of setting a deadline to find someone. Thanks for that idea SB. |
wow thank GOD its Monday it was a painfull weekend bedeviled by sick emotions... Left me feeling like getting high and waisted ... Terribly uncomfortable... But i got through it...Thanks to you guys and the vidoe meetings at Intherooms... Found them a great source of help and support when there wasnt any meetings to go to... Thanks guys for your reply to my letter to Jasmin its funny but as the weekend evolved it became more of a letter to myself at the end... |
Originally Posted by ub3
(Post 3845564)
wow thank GOD its Monday it was a painfull weekend bedeviled by sick emotions... Left me feeling like getting high and waisted ... Terribly uncomfortable... But i got through it...Thanks to you guys and the vidoe meetings at Intherooms... Found them a great source of help and support when there wasnt any meetings to go to... Thanks guys for your reply to my letter to Jasmin its funny but as the weekend evolved it became more of a letter to myself at the end... |
I feel that surrendering my drinking to God doesn't mean that I will ever be tempted to drink again. Circumstances and situations will spark my AV. Starting the day right is a great help in keeping me sober. Doing something physical always seems to help release stress first thing in the morning, along with getting my mind right. Sometimes I overlook this. We all have many blessings that we can be thankful for. I am grateful to God for Day 16 and the quiet happiness that it brings. I pray that we may all take the right path everyday. Thank you my Amigas and Amigos for sharing your struggles. It helps to know that I am not going at this alone. Stay Sober today, Eh... |
How Awesome SisterSober! Be proud. That's a great encouragement to me as I come to the end of my own day 7 on the other side of the world. |
Hello all..seems like everyone hanging in there despite of everything. Truly an inspiration...day 9 here ...had an emotional night....way crying and had an argument w my partner....usually I would leave and walk to the bar...instead I took my dog for a walk and had a long cry....I didn't even want a drink...which was so weird for me..still a lot of emotions going on...off to the gym..I hope everyone has a sober day |
Originally Posted by venuscat
(Post 3845404)
DAY 29 ~ Awesome to be sober. Life is pretty hard for me today...after losing my dog on the weekend, last night I got bitten by a very angry wasp, was in pain and quite ill all evening, and as I was going to bed, I discovered that Venus (my cat) is sick. Tried really hard not to panic, this was always my modus operandi in days gone by.... Venus will be OK (please god), but the vet is super expensive, and today I lost one of my cleaning clients that was 8 hours work per week...hence massive money worries. One of my friends on this site helped me out, gave me a website that has awesome home remedies for pet ailments...and I feel super blessed. If that fails, I will have to somehow find the money for the vet. Had to get a tetanus injection for the wasp bite, can you believe that?? How weird, but apparently it is standard practice now. So it's been a rough day. I'm not feeling so good. What got me through? You guys. Again. I read all of your posts and it takes me out of my own head...and I cry and I laugh (estone you are really really funny!!!) and I stop feeling sorry for myself. Noticed ub3 has said this before, and I love this one... Poor Me, Pour Me A Drink. Self-pity is a killer for us. I love all of you, Venus xx :) PS Would never, ever have been able to deal with all of this if I was still drinking....would be curled up in a ball sobbing my heart out. Sobriety makes life possible. |
This is so, so hard Melissa you are right, but you are strong and you can do this. I try to keep remembering how good I feel when I don't drink. I attended a big social event this weekend. Usually i would have been drinking, but I didn't!! I was very nervous that I would just follow my normal routine and order a glass of wine. I decided to order a soda instead and once I had that in my hand everything seemed to be okay. It sounds so easy, but at the time it seemed hard. I ended up having a wonderful sober evening. At the end of the evening on the way out, I ran into an aquaintence. She was slurring her words so badly I could hardly undertand her. It really made me think; that used to be me! |
Happy sober Monday to you all. I'm feeling a bit low today. A bit displaced, empty, withdrawn and disconnected. Think i'm going to plan my week on my white board, that way i may get more done than what i will in this frame of mind. I drawn Mon-Sun and (morning, aftern, eve) then write what i need to do that week. and it's up on the wall, i've finally realised how to knock a little nail into the door/walls :) |
Originally Posted by MSweeney
(Post 3845590)
How Awesome SisterSober! Be proud. That's a great encouragement to me as I come to the end of my own day 7 on the other side of the world. I hope your day 7 was as good as mine. Being sober is a lot less stressful then trying to overcome a hangover to start the week. Good luck to you and Sober dreams...from the other side of the world! |
Start of Day 11 here! Got a good night's rest. Off to work & then off to a women's meeting after work! Hope everyone has or had a great day! SB |
Starting Day 8! My anxiety is not nearly as bad as it was. I am able to control my thoughts and not have full blown attacks. I think that having sobriety is like having a baby, getting a new job or starting a new relationship....all I want to do is talk to every one about how happy I am. At this point everyone around me is glad to hear it but I'm sure it will get old to them (oh well). I'm proud of myself and I want the world to know. One thing I have found hard is that I want my family to stop drinking too. It is such a ugly habit I want them to fully understand what it can do without them going through what I went through. Of course everyone thinks they are invincible as did I or they don't think they don't have a problem. All I can think is you don't realize how bad your alcohol problem is until you try to quit. ~SistahSober |
Something that made me smile yesterday, i was sat in the car with my cousins wife on our way to aqua aerobics (12pm Sunday) and we saw this girl all dressed up running down the road (with no shoes on) looked as though she was still on her sat night out! in the UK we call it (the walk of shame) the next morning after a night out coming home! Anyway i smiled thinking that was me, and now i'm here in a car doing family stuff on a Sunday morning, it felt great! i even made a joke of it saying (there's me in a past life :) It was almost like looking at myself and it wasn't nice haha |
Originally Posted by SistahSober
(Post 3845637)
Starting Day 8! My anxiety is not nearly as bad as it was. I am able to control my thoughts and not have full blown attacks. I think that having sobriety is like having a baby, getting a new job or starting a new relationship....all I want to do is talk to every one about how happy I am. At this point everyone around me is glad to hear it but I'm sure it will get old to them (oh well). I'm proud of myself and I want the world to know. One thing I have found hard is that I want my family to stop drinking too. It is such a ugly habit I want them to fully understand what it can do without them going through what I went through. Of course everyone thinks they are invincible as did I or they don't think they don't have a problem. All I can think is you don't realize how bad your alcohol problem is until you try to quit. ~SistahSober Love the new name :) glad you're feeling less anxious now. I too want my mum to quit (she has cirrhosis) but i can't help her, she has to do it herself, for years i didn't even look at 'my' problem, it was all about her issues. I think that's when i lost myself into drinking. I know you want to stand on a roof top and scream about your happiness and want your loved ones to share the same happiness, but please only focus on you. If you start focusing on others you may loose yourself in the process. The serenity prayer in AA is God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference |
So- many of you know my partner & I are taking some time apart. I still have been wearing my ring. Well, this morning- I can't find it. I looked everywhere... No sign of it. As I'm crying and searching, a dear friend that I haven't spoken with in quite some time calls me... He's lost his best friend in a plane crash. I immediately went into nurture mode, which is my personality... Well, when I'm sober. Once I hung up with him and started my drive to work- I couldn't help but wonder what my HP is communicating to me with this string of events... I'm in a weird place this morning. I have a meeting set up with someone immediately after work- we're going for coffee & then to a meeting she's leading. I feel a little lost although I was happy to be able to be there for my friend. |
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