I will probably feel lots better by tomorrow, its always that first day is so mentally brutal for me. Once the withdrawal goes I can tackle this head on, just praying my strength will comes back.

I'd LOVE to go to sleep but im constantly jittering and can't switch off. Never again, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. My other half wanted to come round and look after me but the last time she did that she got very upset, i will not put her through that again. Seeing someone you care about in such pain is not fair, especially when its self inflicted.

I will probably be on here and the chat most of the night, it's gotten me through today. I must remember this pain, i musn't allow it to happen again. I'm better than this and deserve to be happy.

Welcome Mvngon :) glad you're here

Have you posted about the exact nature of this fear somewhere? You reference it, but I don't recall seeing an actual description of it.

Good Luck and stay strong today! You can do this! We can help!

Me too, anxiety is bad, vulnerable and dizzy. I remember how good i felt when i'd not drank for 2 months and once were through the next few days we will start to feel better. Promise :)

You do deserve to be happy, and we will get there. Can you try a hot bath or some meditation to help relax you. A hot chocolate too helps, the milk enzyme helps with sleep. I've been drinking valerian tea too to help me relax it's good for anxiety

stupid question
 

How do you join this group Class of Feb.?

Thanks man, we can do this together. spur each other on. I've had a bath yes, drinking lots of herbal tea. Hopefully I will get some sleep. Take care

I haven't officially joined a "class of" on SR... I'd like to join the class of February 2013 (although a little late to the party)...

I spent a while reading through all of your posts and wish you all the very best in your quest...

All you have to do is be sober and post

You just did. Welcome!

You've made a good choice. Rumor has it that we are the bomb diggity.

Wow!! Lots of new people! Welcome all of you.

Bomb diggety?????

Anyway, nothing like finding a 2-week old glass of scotch I had hidden under a sponge in my bathroom to make me appreciate having 14 days. Did I think about drinking it, sponge flakes and all? You bet I did! (think about it that is)

Yay me that I threw it out....

Hey everyone day 18. I've been on an organizational binge and it feels amazing. Keep buying more and storage bins and just going one room at a time. Found an empty wine bottle in a closet that I hid so I could drink without my man knowing... Wow.

Went out to dinner last night, waiter seemed surprised we weren't drinking, but then again I'm surprised when my tables don't cause pretty much all of them do. It's funny how working with alcohol doesn't trigger me but going out to eat does. Kinda like N and the zig zags. Bought a giant dr pepper after and binged out on sugar.

Well my "weekend" is over, back to work tonight. Check in later hope everyone has a great day!

Hecks to the yizzess.

welcome to all the newcomers :)

D

Hi everyone, and welcome to all newcomers! You've chosen a great place to be.

Im on the evening of day 5, and feeling a lot better, and every hour that goes by you will too. Stayed at my dads farm last night, he had some beers in and he had a few but i stayed strong. Took my guitar and wrote a new song today! I don't even think of picking it up when i start a binge it just stops my brain from working properly.

Still feel a bit shakey emotionally -wise, up one minute, down the next but its still early days. Trying to take small steps and not take too much on too soon. So glad i started on this thread definitely helps me. We're all in this together every step of the way. Onward and upward!

Sorry guys but I caved.

I haven't put the fear out there. Lets just say its about a drunk incident that happened two years ago. Logically I know nothing will happen at this point, yet I still obsessively worry like a nut, and it has once again driven me to drink.

Sigh. Maybe March will be my month. Sad I blew it at almost two weeks, but I also know its just part of the process.

So many new people. Welcome, the more the merrier! I'm not just saying it coz I'm here, but this group is awesome. :D

Anyway, I'm still dubious as to whether counting days is good for me or not, but I'm just about done with day 10. Double digits baby, woohoo! My mind is definitely getting clearer, especially at work. I've also been helping people and family with things, when I'd usually be sitting at home getting drunk by myself. I haven't really had any cravings today, except a slight twinge when I walked though the booze isle in the supermarket. Maybe I should avoid that, maybe it was some kind of subconscious masochistic torture or a challenge. Or maybe I think to much lol.

I'm constantly mindful of not becoming complacent. I remind myself of my last binge. The despair, the shame and the misery. Not to mention the terrible withdrawal/hangover. It was sick and I never want to put myself through that again. The longest I've been sober in my adult life was 38 days when I joined SR last year. I've been racking by brain trying to remember why I chose to drink after so long so i can avoid it this time out but to no avail. I guess I'll just have to face each day as it comes and remain ever vigilant.

I'm wary of trying to make other changes in my life while I'm concentrating on my sobriety. But as is inevitable I suppose, I'm looking at areas in my life I'd like to improve. The biggest issue health wise besides alcohol is smoking and I'm sort of formulating a plan to quit smoking as well at the 30 days mark. I hope this won't put me under too much pressure and make me want to drink. But it's a change I really want to make and I think (rightly or wrongly) that 30 days might be a safe time to give it a go. If it all goes **** up though I suppose I can just smoke rather than jeopardising my sobriety. But I guess I'll find out in 3 weeks. ;-).

That's all for the moment, stay sober dudes and dudettes.

I think you need an awakening of some sorts. Holding on to a false reality must be serving you in some way or else you wouldn't be doing it. Make sure you haven't incorporated this into your sense of self identity- like "if I'm not a scared victim then who am I? " Kind of thing.
Or that you hold onto it as an excuse to drink. Not saying your doing any of these things because idk but I wish I could say something to help take this from you because life is too beautiful and your son needs you.

I agree, I have to get past this, it's ruining my life. I am terrified ALL the time, for two years. I have lost all my hobbies and interests and passion. Nothing even matters anymore, the fear controls me.