I am posting.....just to be a rebel.
DAve

Now Frances has got me all worried. I've gone through other threads and Dee appears to be MIA. Let's keep him in our prayers...

I have a few minutes before I go back to lead my last meeting of the day, and I wanted to share my day with you all.

My morning meetings went very well ... they were huge and full of energy. But, I found out some disturbing news. A couple years ago I had a member kinda "lose it" ... I ended up spending several hours alone with her trying to talk her down, trying to get her to allow me to call an ambulance or mental health care facility, before she finally agreed to my husband coming in and driving her car behind us as I drove her home (around 10pm by that time ... after a 5:30 meeting). After that she always seemed normal again, just like before that incident. She told me in the midst of it all that she suffered from some pretty serious personality disorders, which were evident. She ended up making her goal and becoming a lifetime member about a year ago, and still attended once or twice per month since then.

I found out that last night she died in her sleep. She was probably about 44. The woman who told me has no idea what happened. I had really connected with her ... she always hugged me when she came. I'm trying to wait until I get home tonight to allow myself to process this.

Tonight's group is her group. She was somewhat quiet, so many probably won't remember her (it's a group of around 70 people), but I still need to figure out how to tell them. (sigh)

Just wanted to share. :(

And I'm praying for Dee. If you're reading this, Dee, I'm sending you lots of love!

Hi all,
It's been almost a year since I last posted but far more importantly, it's been OVER a year since I had my last drink! I'm a March '11er, like the most of yas! I didn't stick around for very long on this forum - I found a different way to move forward but the love and support I got here was absolutely what got me through those first few weeks when I was completely freaking out. Thank you all again for that.
Now at a year out I have been taking stock of how my life has been going and the more I think about it, the more I am proud at what I have achieved. I got to a point where getting out of bed to go to work was a difficult decision to make each day. The only thing I looked forward to in the morning was lunch time when I could have my first drink. I was afraid of everything, my mind itself was starting to scare me.
One week ago tomorrow, a couple of days out from my first year, I turned down a position as CTO at my current company. I would have had 20-25 people under me and a budget of several million euros. From a simple IT maintenance role to the CTO job in a year! I decided that I wasn't ready for so much responsibility, and that I needed to have a change of city and change of company. So I accepted a position (still with a 70% pay rise!) in Paris at a new company. I have worked insanely hard over the last year to get to where I am, and now that I have a little self esteem back :-), I need to concentrate on becoming a whole person - not just a workaholic after giving up the booze. Spending 80 hours a week working is better than 40 working and 40 drinking but it's still not healthy (I am doing quite a bit of sport as well so it's not as bad as it sounds...)!
Anyway, I don't want to come across as a tosser or anything (even though I probably am!) - I just wanted to remind everyone that one of the things that alcohol does to us is reduce our view of ourselves till we believe we are incapable of anything. Sure, when you're drunk everything is great and you can take on the world, the next morning when the depression kicks in before the first drink is another story. You start feeling completely impotent to do even the simplest things. I will never forget the feeling of complete hopelessness and powerlessness.

Never, ever, ever again.

Now I wake up asking myself whether there is anything I can't do. Nothing comes easy in life - but now I have all this time on my hands, if I choose to do something and I work at it, then I can achieve anything. We all can. The road is still long, and I have a long way still to go but I know where I need to go and I'm going there.

Big love to all of you.

Wow! Tototbidule! That's an amazing account of your year. Inspiring! And you are exactly right...alcohol makes us feel like we can't do anything. I still fall prey to it daily, even 7 months sober.

You have a lot to be proud of. But, most of all the recovery of balance, esteem, and wise choices in sobriety.

I hope you'll continue to post as you relocate and get to know your new surroundings. I really enjoy hearing success stories such as yours.

I'm especially impressed that you did what you did without becoming addicted to recovery itself. Instead, you moved on and reclaimed your life. I need to learn quite a bit about that.

Thanks for your post!

PBC...I'm so sorry for your loss. And such a young lady. Terrible. You are both in my prayers.

I pm'd Dee and he is, indeed, ill this week, though he's been checking in on occasion. It didn't sound like a fall or anything more serious, but illness is bad enough, so lets keep praying for him!

PBC...I am sorry to here about your friend-client...that is never easy to deal with and I will pray for your comfort through this time.

Dee I hope you are banging out some stellar bass some where and lost track of time....or heck...just slept in.:) You are in my thoughts!

TotoBidule-OUTSTANDING! You have done a great job. Stay on the path and Keep the love in your heart. I am sooooo happy for you!:)

Keepin it real
Dave

Hi guys- maybe I didn't check in here? I meant to.
I have been around, tho not as much - just feeling a little poorly is all :)

Time for a new thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3311613

:tyou
D