Husband 14 days clean of meth
 

Well, my husband has made it 14 days clean of meth after I told him he had to leave our apartment if he used again since his using was really beginning to impair me. It's amazing how in just 14 days I feel so much better since the chaos has been gone. Part of me is worried that he is motivated to stay clean because we have a 14 day vacation coming up that he is really excited about, and that he may just use again when we come back because he won't be as happy with a vacation to look forward to. By the time we get back from our vacation, he will have 1.5 months clean from meth if he stays clean. Does anyone know who has experience with meth if this will give him a good start to possibly not wanting to use when we get back?

I am so happy for you and for him that he has made this effort and I pray he can stay on the good path.

Meth takes a long time to heal from and rid from the system, many rehabs recommend long term programs for meth addicts because it takes longer for the brain to stabilize than with many other drugs.

That said, the success of any addict to become clean and stay clean is often directly related to their willingness to do what needs to be done to get there. Some can just stop and never use again, I pray your husband is one of those lucky (and hardworking) people.

Enjoy your vacation, enjoy each day and I hope you will both have happier and healthier days ahead.

Hugs

In my experienced and that of many others, an addict cannot get clean and remain that way just to keep a roof over their head or to go on a vacation.

Trust your gut on this one!

What kind of a program is he working to help him stay clean?

Meth is a tough nut to crack, so to speak. It's highly important that he is highly motivated to get clean and stay clean and continue to do so....I don't know what kind of program he has going. Don't mean to sound skeptical, but a lot of folks can get clean for a short time period; it's staying clean that's hard. Beware of the post vacation "let downs" that we all get; it might be a huge trigger for him.

This is clichéd, but this is one of those situations where you hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Pay attention to your gut, and don't be surprised if things go awry.

Keep us posted.

Hi Freedom, my qualifier was a meth user. He went all the way to shooting up. Miraculously he got clean and as far as I know has stayed so. It did take a 3 year stint in jail though. I left long before that.

Hope for the best and be sure you have a good solid plan if this hope is not fulfilled.

Husband is still clean from meth but his drinking has escalated like before. I think he thought I would overlook the drinking since he knew I hated the meth but now I have informed him the excessive drinking is a deal breaker as well. I told him if the 4 beers in the fridge each night is not enough since he would also bring home beer or drink before coming home, then this is also a life I don't want to be a part of like the meth. I admit the alcohol is the lesser of the two evils since the half life of the hell is shorter, but it still is a deal breaker. Thank goodness I never bought a house with my husband and we only have a lease together in an apartment. My parents have also let me know that I am welcome at their home at any time which is 10 minutes away.

You are wise to spot the danger of drinking too. A drug is a drug and alcohol is a drug, drinking is not the solution to drug addiction just as smoking pot is not the solution to alcohol addiction...most recovering addicts and alcoholics have tried and failed at the drug replacement plan.

You are keeping it simple, you set your boundaries out and made them clear, and you are prepared to take action if the boundaries are not respected.

Whatever you choose won't be easy, but I can't imagine a life more hellish than living with addiction. I did it myself for too many years with my son and those were by far the worst years of my life.

Whatever you choose, we are walking with you.

Hugs

Sorry to hear that. I used to play the lesser of two evils game too. I think most addicts have attempted and failed miserably with it. It was not until I realized it wasn't the substance that was the problem. The substance was my attempted solution to the problem. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin and was using the substance to escape so until I learned how to live life sober it was just a series of failures.

Today there is no lesser of two evils. Every single substance that I use to escape goes in the same bucket. There is no hierarchy of substances. I can't say to myself it is only alcohol or only pot or at least it is only powder cocaine and not crack or it is just codeine and not heroin.

It took me a long time to come to that realization unfortunately. Stand firm on your boundaries.

i agree.....while it seems AT THIS MOMENT, that things are not as bad, the alcohol is feeding the beast. he's already increasing his consumption, cuz the beast is hungry and it won't be long before he's back to his original love, his original DOC.

i am glad you see it as a dealbreaker.

and i am so sorry. i'm sure you saw just a glimmer of hope. of maybe.

Husband is still clean from meth at 22 days. He has also promised to work on cutting down his drinking by not bringing beer home or drinking before coming home (will only drink what's in fridge). I am just happy that it looks like our 2 week cruise on April 1st will happen, crossing fingers. 22 days ago it was uncertain. Once the cruise is over, there will be more time flexibility if he was to hit bottom and suddenly need help even though he refuses any help at the time. He is also looking to get a work promotion, so that may now motivate him to stay clean when we get back from vacation. In the meantime, I am just trying to remember to take care of myself by exercising, working on my own alcohol recovery of close to 5 months, my career, puppy and extended family.

That's great that he's made that far. Trust me each day without meth is a battle. The battles get easier but they are still there. I made it a little less than your husband before i relapsed, but that only lasted a short time, back on track now.
What is the hardest part, for me, is the depression. And that little demon hiding out in my brain whispers..all I need to do is call up any number of people and I could be spun within 30 minutes and then everything would be ok....until it's not again 😭

Bad news. So we boarded our cruise today but last night my husband was back and forth from our hotel room and He did meth after having 30 days clean. I immediately knew, and he did it again today from that same guy. I am so disappointed. I guess this shows me that he was just staying clean to go on the cruise. I am not going to confront him about it because I don't want to ruin my 14 day vacation. I just hope that he did not sneak any on the cruise, and I hope he does not crash hard and become mean. What a bummer!

you HAD to see that coming, right???

I really thought he would want to stay clean for many reasons. I didn't think he would want to possibly sabotage his marriage. If one has the ability to say no for a vacation, why not continue to say no.

freedom, he already sabotaged his marriage. he just saw a shiny trinket ahead.....a VACATION!!! so he behaved as long as was necessary. now he STILL gets the prize. and you are stuck with him, however this plays out for the next 14 days.

How had he already sabotaged his marriage? If he stayed clean all would have been forgiven?

He has still talked about our future together? And so he thinks I don't know and there is a future.

How had he already sabotaged his marriage?

when he started doing METH! and all that went with it. that is no small thing.

perhaps you were willing to overlook and forgive too much? as it was you were focused on the upcoming vacation....as was he. he held it all at bay JUST long enough til you got to the point of no return. he wasn't concerned about the state of the future of his marriage....only the upcoming TREAT. and now, once again. all bets are off.

he doesn't SEE things as you do.

I have to admit I'm confused by this whole line of thinking.

You were hoping that he would hold off on the meth for a cruise.

He already had you. He took meth.

Aren't you more important than a cruise?

I'm not sure where you are cruising but please please make sure he does not carry drugs...on the ship AND in port. He could end up in prison in a country of bad prisons.

He has put himself and you in a very dangerous position...your marriage falling apart may be the least of your problems.

Please listen to those who are trying to help you. This is so much more than a vacation gone wrong.

Thank you all for your replies and concern. I honestly was hoping he would continue continue to stay clean from meth for both the cruise and our future. He had 30 days, and I was hoping he would get more.

I am just going to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

We were all hoping he would stay clean too. Sadly, it is rarely that simple and we want to help you to protect yourself...because we care and we know how hard this is for you.

I hope your cruise is wonderful and uneventful as far as his using. Just please have a plan and prepare yourself if things go wrong.

Hugs

^^^^^^
THIS!!!

If you are cruising anywhere outside of the US, and if he is carrying illegal drugs, not only could he end up in a foreign prison but you could too.

If I was in your position, as soon as I landed in a port with a nearby airport, I would immediately book a flight home...without him.

Yes, it's that serious.

I think there is a naive hopeful though process you hold onto which can place you in very bad circumstances.

If he did meth the night before the cruise and the morning of the cruise it's a pretty good bet he's got more with him for the duration of the cruise.

Addiction is addiction is addiction. He can't just give up meth but keep using other chemicals such as alcohol, it doesn't work that way. He'll never reach full sobriety or recovery. It's like a round tube, he/you will continue to end up in the same place over and over again.

I agree with cynical one, if you discover he does in fact have drugs with him, please find the nearest exit and get yourself out and away from it.

So far things are going okay. I immediately had a feeling this guy he met at the hotel could possibly give him meth but I hoped for the best. That night and next morning he showed the same past behavioral signs of meth, and he was hanging out with this guy and his girlfriend on and off while I was in the room (my husband also smokes a lot of cigarettes, and so that gets him out and about as well since I won't be around that). Because things are currently going well, my guess is that my husband only did a little bit of it. The guy probably offered him some, to which my husband probably told him his vacation and marriage are on the line, and the guy probably just advised him to do a little, which is why there has not been a real crash like in the past. I have a really strong feeling that my husband did not bring any on the cruise. At the same time, I wouldn't put it past him to do a little once again if he ran into someone on the cruise who had some. In the meantime, my husband knows he can continue getting high off the abundance of alcohol on the cruise, so that should sway him as well from the other stuff. At least for right now things are looking more optimistic than they did yesterday. I understand a lot of your safety concerns, but I am choosing to risk that since I want to try and have a good time on this cruise since I did most of the planning. We did have a nice time together yesterday walking around with him holding my hand, eating a nice dinner, taking pictures together. I then was fine staying in the room when he went to the casino for a bit and ventured around drinking more (I'm not into that stuff anymore so it's fine). And he came back to the room at a reasonable time. Today we will just relax by the pool.

Like I said a naive hopeful though process.

Do you really think that some stranger at a motel just out of the blue offered your husband meth and then advised him to only do a little??? really?

And if you honestly can believe that your husband gave any though what's so ever about you or his marriage being at risk...............he clearly showed you he didn't care, getting high was his goal.

And no big crash means he probably does have meth with him, another clear sign that you or his marriage being at risk isn't something he really cares about.

You can keep telling yourself what ever it is you need to tell yourself and enjoy your high husband holding your hand and walking around with you taking pictures..........it's not going to last, not 2 weeks worth it isn't so enjoy it now before the crash.

The guy probably offered him some, to which my husband probably told him his vacation and marriage are on the line, and the guy probably just advised him to do a little

said no addict EVER!

Well, whatever happened seems to have passed without the nasty consequences of him using like in the past. He definitely showed the signs of using meth on those two days but they did appear more minimal compared to the past. When I look at our past together, there were times now that I look back in which he showed signs of being high after work but there was no big crash the next few days like what started to happen in the past year. And this is what the other night looked like as well, similar to a few years ago. I am not an expert on meth, but is it possible to use just a little bit at times to still get high but avoid a nasty crash? Or is it more possible that what I saw the other night was more of a brief high caused from a drug like cocaine and not meth? A high that is a lot briefer than meth and therefore not so much of a pronounced crash? Because even though I could tell he was high when he came back into the room the other night, he was eventually able to go to bed after 1-2 hours, something he would have been unable to do if he had done meth.

You are on a cruise ship and your husband is doing drugs, it doesn't matter which drugs, you will hit ports and you can be sure he will find more drugs there if he runs out.

Sweetie, we're not making this stuff up...you are in very serious danger here, your life and his are in jeopardy. You may get lucky and nothing will happen but please understand that the odds are against you and if something happens there will be no second chance at this.

I know this is hard to swallow, but what Anvilhead said is the truest statement you will ever hear.

Your doing semantics here, coke or meth, high is high, drugs are drugs, relapse is relapse. Broken promises are broken promises.

He's on a cruise vacation and high, he's doing exactly what he wants and you are attempting to rationalize it as if it is ok because it "might" be just a little bit of this or a little bit of that................the iceberg is dead ahead, get off the boat!!