You must be so tired, Nenacarol.
Please take extra good care of yourself right now.
I am just so sorry for your loss.
God bless Ryan...
and God bless you too.

I'm sorry I'm late on this, but am still sending you hugs and prayers.

Amy

Wondering if the person from the paper was there, and if he/she wrote a follow up to the not-so-nice article?

I know you're exhausted and I'm praying for your serenity. Your son will always be with you because he came from you. Nothing can put out the spark of life that resides inside you. May it nourish you and sustain you until you meet again.

CatsPajamas -

Good question. There were so many people at the funeral, i did not notice if the reporter came. so far no follow up article and i think maybe that is ok. i am now thinking of sending a letter to the investigator. i really wonder why they released my son to the County Work Program under "sheriff's supervision"
(what a joke!). His death was considered to be an inmate death while in custody. he was arrested feb. 17 because of a dirty urine test, an obvious probation violation. who in there right minds would release a drug addict two weeks later and give him all the freedom in the world to drive his car anywhere he wanted to go while not working CWP? where was the supervision part of the deal? he was allowed to fall through the cracks of the system. even the probation officer who arrested him in february apparently gave her approval for his release. they must not understand the disease of addiction very well or maybe they just don't care.

There will be so many whys, what ifs, and if onlys Nenacarol.
This is one of the loneliest painful roads that a Mother will ever walk.

I'm so glad the service was beautiful.

I have kept a candle lit for you and Stephensmom.

i am sorry about ryan. i am sorry for you. you have got to feel all the feelings that come with the lost of someone you love so much.take it a day at a time. my heart goes out to you. hugs & prayers,

please accept my heartfelt sympathy at the loss of your beautiful Ryan.

may the memories of the days untouched by the disease fill your heart,
prayers for you,
Rita

:Val004:
hugs and prayers from another mom. Ryan is no longer in this earthly pain and suffering. God's blessings for you both,
susan

(((nenacarol)))

I’m glad the service went well and I too find special meaning and comfort in “Angel”. We didn’t play it at my son’s service, but at the one-year candlelight vigil. I used music a lot to help me, especially during the first year. I have a long commute to work and would blast my favorites in the car … The City of Angels soundtrack, Josh Groban, and one I really love … Believe, Songs of Faith.

As Greet said, be very gentle with yourself and do only what you can. I know sometimes I couldn't do any more than what was right in front of me at the time, for fear I would break into a million pieces. Other times, it helped me to "do" something, anything to keep moving forward. It really can change minute by minute. Loving thoughts and prayers remain with you and Ryan :hug:

((((Nenacarol)))
Thinking of you...prayers for you and your son.....

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs & prayers.

Nenacarol,

I am so very very sorry for the loss of your precious boy. I pray that the lives he touched... the people that surrounded him and were there for his funeral... will be forever changed for the better because of knowing Ryan. Just reading this thread I am changed, and understand addiction a little more. I share in your sorrow, though, as I have not been there yet but do have a child with a different terminal illness and treasure each day we are together.

Much love and hugs,
kidsandmemake3

(((nenacarol))) I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Please know you are both in my prayers. During some of my losses, someone suggested that I take a minute to write out some of the most touching, wonderful, positive memories I could conjour up.

Especially in a sudden and tragic death, it seems that the tragedy can overtake everything else, pushing those wonderful memories aside. I was advised to create a memory book or journal to help cement those precious, positive memories at the forefront of my mind... and I am glad I did.

Just passing on to you something that I found helpful. I wish you the best.