ok, i've began my 'AH cleaning", and i was wondering if anyone ever done this to realize how much better the house looks and feel to know the way that you organize things, is the way they'll stay, until you get ready to change them around? just thinking.

i'm sure somebody will contact me about my ah's clothes, but i'm not ready to answer my phone for any unknown numbers, i'm afraid that it'll be him and i'm not quite ready to conversate with him about anything. he told me not to call him, i kind of hope he remembers that when you don't want someone to call you, you don't genarally call them either. just my thoughts

he and his family knows from past ex, that it will be ok to come and get his things. his poor bro, jumps to his every call and will move his things back and forth just for the asking. he has them thinking that if they don't help him, then he'll have to go to jail for hurting me or that i'll have him arrested for nothing, totally manipulating them too, so they'll go way out of their way to help him, its so sad to watch, but they are all in denial, much worse than i am.

That would be rational thinking, something I doubt he's doing.

Someone will get his clothes when he needs them

how was your worship service cindi, what was the message? i do need to get back to that, and wll as soon as things gets back to normal around here.

2 messages:
With God on our side we never need to be in fear
and
Association and how beinga round the wrong environment can desensitize you and distract you from doing what is right
When little man wakes Im off to a bridal shower in the park, I love not being concerned with AH, my life is so much fuller

thanks cinder, good for you, have fun at the shower in the park, sounds like a lot of fun for you and for lil man.

Yeah all the boys will enjoy it theyve been wanting to go to the park and lots of their friends will be there playing their. Its beautiful out here

i can imagine how nice it is there, i was just thinking about how i could take a vacation and where would i go. don't have the money now, and i don't think that my ah will be to helpful about money right now, so i won't dare ask him for anything, its time for me to call the childsupport office and let them know where i think he works. guess i'll do that tomorrow

Sorry guys that I havent been around much this weekend. I had a full house with ym daughter, son two neices, my nephew and my sister.... oh yeah the invisible man abf.

The other day I attempted to have a conversation with him... and all he kept saying was huh.. what.. I looked at him and said you remind me of the scarecrow in the wizard of oz... then I went on to singing "I wish I had a Brain" I dont think he liked that much but I had a good chuckle.
I cleaned all morning... I had a huge mess.. I did the same as you Teke went on a little strike of cleaning. Abf hates to live in a mess.. or search for his clean clothes in the laundry bag.. or put together his own socks. After about two weeks I did everything it felt good and my brain didnt seem all that scattered.

I am home now with just my daughter and me. ABF is bringing our baby to grandmas house. My home is so quiet.

I want to buy plants but I could never get them to live long enough......

Thats enough for now

Hugs,
Jewel

kj and jewelz, sounds like you both have enjoyed your day and wkend, good to hear. can't wait until my puppies get big enough to play with, i think were gonna keep at least one of them but i don't know yet. i remember the last time precious had puppies, i had 12 dogs all together, this time i have 9, gotta find them some good homes, i didn't have too much trouble the last time, the kids put the word out and parents came to get them for their kids. still cleaning, but can't do much due to my injury but little by little i'll get it done.

I wish I had a brain, Im singing and laughing Jewelz, that was pretty good.

Just got back. Hey guys since AH and I seperated residence 3 weeks ago and I ahvent had money from him my HP put me in situations where twice now n Sundays we got free dinner and socialization. I love it, ahving a great time.

AH called before I went. I decided I was gonna answer but say very little. He said" I know you dont want to talk to me, I geet that and understand, I called to say I love you and Im sorry. I am really going to work to cahnge adn Ill show you by my actions. " My only response was, did you still wanta ride to work tomorrow (he was supposed to work outta town) He said "NO, not from you, I have to do this all on my own without your help. " I said okay dear adn he hung up.
What does that mean to me? ANother night of peace, Yeah. Im guessing he'll quit his job saying no ride, not my problem as Id probably get no money next week like last anyway.
Sure in a day or two he'll be whining, but we know somewhere in there he gets it so it'll help me keep a clear conscious in the future.

At teh park there was a lake and hundreds of turtles. As we were walking over the bridge they all swam up for us to see (bet people fishing feed them) My oldest said why are they swimming up? My middle son said they know Mommy loves them. I thought that was cute.

Everyone I ahve to say I feel really good, I feel like a new person, I hope this lasts

it gets even better cinder, i remember when i felt so good about my life that i was afraid and was looking for something to go wrong, but i decided that i did deserve to have life drama free and forced myself to stop expecting it to end, and it lasted as long as i stuck to caring more for me than my ah and his addiction. the choice i think is up to you, the ball really is in your court now. just run with it.

i've been kind of busy today with the cleaning and reorganizing stuff i decided that we would go out for chinese, i guess it served the purpose, hadn't had it in a long time. about half way done with the ah cleaning, maybe i'll do more tomorrow, at least i have something to do to keep myself busy.

Your not a downer blues, just hittinga rough spot, we all get tehre when cahnges are occurring and we are expereiencing reality. Sorry cant spell tonite. You can still go to school maybe online if you choose. Just give it time and get everyone used tto the new life, calm and peaceful.

Sometimes when we least expect it miracles happen in our own life. Be positive if the kids can stay in one location until they are out of school, thats a really important thing. Try to get comfortable with life and make the best out of it you know you can, make plans for taht patio you want and just accept that some dreams are justa little farther away.
My grandma is 72. My grandpa dies 3 years ago, before that he'd been disabled for 30 years and she'd worked fulltime. He was a goodman and did the household things, yet there was no excitement to her life/their life.
In the 3 years he's been gone she joined a seniors group, has been to the carribean 3 times and is going to Alaska this summer. Her and the other members of her group go, go, go. As long as we take care of ourselves in 30 years we'll look back and none of this will matter and we too can be partying it up. BTW one of her friends, 79 just maried an 81 year old they met on a singles cruise, so there still is happily ever after.

bluegirl, i'm sorry that you are feeling so down, it does get better, you've got some cleaning to do, that is helping me right now. its true that sometimes our old dreams get shattered just so we can dream new dreams, and as far as school, its never to late for that unless you choose for it to be. one day at a time with putting one foot in front of the other, you can still get to where you want to be as long as you keep the faith and keep moving.

i pray that the more you get in touch with you, your depression will let up some, and if not maybe you should think about seeing a doctor or counselor if you haven't already done that. i know the feeling of having my emotions running from high to low and i do have those days, but i do the best i can to consciencely not stay stuck there for long, i'm afraid of not being able to snap out of it so i try to feel what i feel, get it out here because i don't have many friends other than you all to talk to either.

i know how busy the kids can keep you but like my mom says, when they are little they get on your nerves sometimes but when they are grown, they step on you heart, and that is so true, so try to continue to enjoy them while they are young, they grow up so fast these days.

and don't talk about old neighborhoods and hanging out places, they tore my whole neighborhood down to expand the atlanta airport, so most of the people that i knew, are scattered all over the atl area. i don't know where no one is except my family. thank god for grown kids, they are my hanging partners now. i'm so grateful for them.

i hope that you begin to feel better soon. still praying for ya

now cinder, thats having hope for ya! 79 and 81 meeting on a cruise and getting married, and i thought i was too old to think about re marrying. LOL just wanted to say that i'm proud of you cinder, you are moving right along, aren't you

bluegirl, i'm just said a quick pray that you will feel better tomorrow and that you have a peaceful nite sleep.