Boxin…..I have been thinking , a lot, about your situation....and how difficult it must be....

It just seems incredible to me, in this day and age. I am not a lawyer, of course, but I wish that I was...so I could give you some informed advice....
I had always been under the impression, that in this day and time, that a couple could get divorced, by just following some procedures....if there was no conflict that required intervention by the courts...like children, property, etc....
Even...even...if only one of them filed for and wanted the divorce.....but, the other one didn't.
I know that there is a waiting period...like, maybe a year...? And, that there be no co-habitation during that time....

so, I thought.....Boxin has no minor children with him, and no property to divide, and they are not cohabitating, and she has already filed....so....so, why can't she just get a restraining order against him for his harassment of her....and just wait out the year, or so, in peace...?
LOL...I know that I must be missing something...!

By the way, I have a feeling that he agreed to the 90 day thing, with the idea that he, surely, could get you to change your mind, before the 90 days were over--if he just pestered you enough.....?!

dandylion, I found this about divorce in her state:

https://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ug...a-divorce-take

Apparently if he agrees they can divorce in 90 days. If he doesn't (contested) it looks like there needs to be a two year separation first, and then at the two year separation they must agree that it's, "irretrievably broken." That's what I'm reading...and if one is trying to prove a "fault" divorce, it's even more complicated.

I'm glad I'm in a no fault state.

Wait. I'm glad I'm not married.

Thanks, bimini!

<<~~~~~~~Also not an attorney. :-|

I thought the same thing though while reading through this thread. Restraining order, bam.

If it meant staying married 21 months longer, I'd put up with him. I think. He sounds dangerous to me, no idea what I'd do.

I'd definitely get a big Rottie. :nods:

Hugs, Box.

I'm doing the non contested 90 day non fault divorce. I just need him to sign the last paper because my 90 days has already started when he signed. Next signing due 11/13/18 which is the end of 90 days. He wants me to just come back. So I told him today, if he wants me back, he must first sign th e divorce and get through one year sobriety and we can start to date.

Now... is that really what I'm going to do?! He'll no it's not. Is it what he wants to hear?! Yes it is. So let the games begin. He wants a light at the end of the tunnel... He just got one. He won't leave me alone so I'll talk to him. I'll tell him what he wants to hear. I'll tell him He's got to work his deal and we'll start over... fresh... after the divorce.

Once I get my divorce decree, IM CHANGING MY GOD DAMNED NUMBER!!!!

Are you 100% sure he doesn't know you're on this site?

He thinks his lies had no effect on me and it wasn't a big deal. So now he can see n feel what a lie will do to someone.

I've lit the fire. I'll fight fire with fire. He has no idea what he's done. As long as he gets what he wants. He's going to get what he freaking deserves... Nothing!!!!

He would never come here. To a recovery site. Phhsssshhhhhh It's not his cup of tea. That woukd require him to read through garb he wants nothing to do with. Ive been here for a long time n hes never been here.

Boxin…..I just read the article that bimini posted. OMG! I see what you are up against! Pennsylvania divorce laws look horrible.....
I can see your logic.....just get that signature on the final paper...by hook or by crook.....lol....

You know, I am not the kind of person to just set someone up to watch them fail but I owe him a good one and he's about to get an eye opening experience in manipulation. Especially after he told me he lied to me to get what he wanted out of me.

He even told me he should get time knocked off because of time served since h as been sober since June. That man was buying alcohol at the end of July!!!

I'm not going to stop until I get my divorce and I will say and do anything to get it. Once it's granted, ITS OVER!!!

dandylion, that article is from 2011, too.

I found a blog post from a law firm in PA saying that in 2016 the wait period went down to one year in no-fault contested.

https://www.hopkinsheltzel.com/blog/...sylvania.shtml

Go, Boxin.

It's been 90 days since 2011 because I used the same law firm for my 1st divorce. I had to walk away from everything.

Yeah, if he'll sign.

Fingers crossed for you.

He just texted me asking if we could drop the year n go with 6 months? I said no. You've never gotten to a year of sobriety. He said the year of sobriety is no problem. The problem is waiting so long to rip my clothes off so he can be with me.

I have so much anger for this man and all he wants to do is use me as an object. He has no respect for me or how I feel about this whole ordeal. He makes me sick and I need this divorce asap.

He thinks it's ridiculous that he has to put a whole year in. That is what he's texting me at this moment.

Unbelievable how OUT OF TOUCH with reality he is. This is all about Him. Him. Him. I mean screw me and how I feel about the whole situation. LOL

Paybacks are gonna be like a swift kick to the *****.

Wow, just incredible! No thought at all about your feelings but hey, let's talk dirty, baby. Gross.

Ugh Boxin, keep taking that next right step. Please do what you can to stay safe.

You have probably said this before but does he have fire arms?

He does... AND SO DO I.

He has no idea where I live but if he ever finds out and tries to get in, I'm protected by Kujo who is gun trained (he can disarm someone) and second by Pennsylvania Castle Docterine.

Why can he still text you?

Edit: Just read some more..Why even "play" when you don't have to? I'm confused as hell to why someone who is DONE would even entertain themselves with utter nonsense. Change your number now and deal directly with the courts. If that's what you really want to do..

Just commenting on the NIGHTMARE that is apparently divorce in Pennsylvania! I can't believe something like that still exists in this day and age--that one party can be entrapped for years b/c the other party doesn't want to say "yeah, we're done."

I am at this very moment thanking my lucky, lucky stars for Wisconsin divorce laws that made things so simple that I was able to do my divorce myself (and thanking the powers that be that XAH did not fight me for the house).

It's not fair that you still have all these hoops to jump through, Box. It sure seems to me that you did your time and made efforts way above and beyond what 99.9% of people would do...Personally, I was never able to understand why you stuck around, and I was so happy when you came back this time to say that you'd finally decided to pull the pin. It's just unbelievable that you still have to play these games and abide by these incredibly outdated laws, even after all you've been through.

Maybe you can become an activist to get those laws changed! Just outrageous...