He is my 3rd Rottweiler. He is a very good boy once the both of us got through his grieving stage for his daddy. Oh he was so grumpy... the poor boy. He knows I love him and he's accepted me as his MaMa.

Wishing you peace, love, and joy as you begin the next chapter of your life.

Boxinrotz,
Whoa, I just read your last reply and it was like looking in a mirror 5 years ago. The similarities are uncanny. I do not want to fast forward for you what has happened to me when the manipulations worked. It is ugly.
I beg you, keep moving forward. Keep your head up and chest out. You have got this! My biggest regret was I didn't. The writing was not only on the wall but on the ceiling and on the floor. However, I let manipulations win!
Just keep swimming!

This is exactly what I know will happen. He just can't help himself. He will go back to it. I just don't want to go back. I don't have to.

:hug: Glad you're getting free. :) I love your new dog! :)

I worked yesterday. I worked my last 2 days which were my off days for double time. I've been making good money to support myself. One thing that is getting me is the fact that every morning by 0700, he starts with his banter. The I love yous. You're never gonna find some one, you're making the biggest mistake of your life banter to try and goad me back into his alcohell.

I get to work and honestly, it's the only time I get a break from him. That's so sad because I work in a very stressful environment and then I get out and I'm back into a very stressful environment... his alcohell and harassment. I can't get a break. Until I snapped last night. Oh I snapped. It's like he is rattling a caged animal. I'm not perfect right now and I feel like I'm one call, one text from losing my sanity on him and I did yesterday at 2130. He ups the anti as soon as my phone gets turned on. And he won't stop til he has me in an explosive rage. All my stress from being in the jail and his deal come out. And if I want this divorce, I can't block him.

Last night he texted me the second I walked into my house that he needed to talk to me. I told him there is nothing so important that he needed to say, i just got home and you guessed it, my phone rang. I answered and I lost my mind on him. I asked him why, why can't I wake up and not have to listen to his crying?! He wants me to think about us but he has given me absolutely no time at all to get through one day and do it by myself. I'm done thinking about us and I just want to think about ME!!! I have told him repeatedly to leave me alone and he says, after all that, all you had to do was say leave me alone and I will. It's like 2 different people. One with a TBI n the other who is coming off alcohol n possibly someone else?! I don't know. I do know I'm tired of being there for him n getting a ******** life of constant worry and pitfalls. I just want left alone! Well see how long he can NOT text or call me after yesterday.

Oh, Lord....what an abusive, sick, rat of a human is that man!!! I'm so sorry!!!

Are you sure that he would even go along with the 90 day uncontested period if you allow him to keep calling? Seems to me, he would do something to hang this up anyway...regardless of what you do.

I have no advice, but I would have to consider my own peace of mind even if the divorce took longer...

He said he'd never sign the first acceptance letter to start the 90 days and he did. I'm hoping that this is the only time he ever told the truth.

Another thing he said last night was this. Major quack alert....

He goes, I'm so insecure with myself.

Me: I don't want an insecure man.

Him: Oh well then I'm not insecure! I'm confidant so now you can love me!

It's like he is trying to build a man that I will love. SMH He keeps telling me he's a different man n I don't know him. My only response to that is... He doesn't know me because this whole relationship/marriage has definitely changed me!!!

I've lost everything seren. I walked away from it all. I would reall y hate to pay thousands and wait longer to get this rat out of my life. But if he makes me go the long way, I will rake him over the coals if he forces me into debt with an attorney.

I'm sorry he's making life so miserable, but it seems that he nearly always has....

I hope he won't drag this out past the 90 days!!! When is that date? Sometime in November?

Yes. it's around 11/13. I will make sure that I am at the notary the second they open. I even told him, Bring no money. I will pay for everything just to keep you whole. I want not a red cent from him. I want this divorce like no one's business. And once he signs and I get it to the post office, I'm going to AT&T to deliver the final blow... I'm changing my number. I don't care what happens after that. I don't care to know how he's doing. If he dies. To get a final viewing. He has worn me completely out and I have lost all compassion for him. I have not cried one time since I left. I have not been able to shed one tear for myself and the life I invested in and saw flushed down the toilet because I'm still so angry. I need to go see my SEAP (State Employee Assistance Program) Counselor. I just don't want to right now. I want to wait until after the divorce.

Seren, That man only knows chaos. If his life isn't engulfed in alcohol, he's not happy. He had the nerve to tell me that this is all he knows because he's been dabbling with alcohol since he was a teenager. And then says, He doesn't need it to live a good life. But time has shown me that it is who he is and he can't live without it. And he won't.

Have at it. Drink when you want and as much as you want. I don't care.

I get that...right now you sound in crisis management mode. Just make it through this storm and then assess. Been there, done that, was handed the t-shirt. Hang in there!!!!!

I recognize the need. I have a huge reconstructive foot surgery that I'm getting ready to have on 9/5/18. I just want to get through these last 2 weeks of work and get that done and heal. I have my best friend taking me to the hospital and caring for me for a week after the surgery. He has asked me repeatedly when I'm getting it done and I've told him I don't want him to know. I don't want him at the hospital. He left me high and dry last year for the same surgery, different foot. He tried to guilt me after I worked a whole year in 6 months to comp time so I didn't have to recover in the prison on death row like I did last year. It was painful. He called me selfish. He said I didn't need the time and I should have taken the money and because I took the time, that is why he said I was selfish. Months ago, he said he'd have the time to care for me. I need someone 24/7 for the first 10 days and by the time April came around, He was out of time. I wasn't surprised. It was the story of my life. But... I still had all my time banked because this selfish woman took care of business. Now I can relax til December and not have to suffer through work n come home with a foot so swelled it's painful.

Coming in to say I must have gotten through to him and he texts me asking what I'm doing?

All he wants is for me to make his selfish self feel better at my expense. This is going to be the worst break up in the history of bad break ups. I can not wait until November.

We've got your back Boxy :grouphug:

He just texted me to tell me he's selling my pool. It's his hook and I bit it and called him. I've got some medicine for this guy and he's not going to like what he's getting. I told him that I will come back to him a year after I get my divorce papers and we can start dating again. We can fix this up, start over and have a nice and shiny new slate. He has to stay a year sober and DIVORCE ME FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING. Once my divorce is final, I'm changing my number and he can feel the sting of the biggest lie I've ever told and he can sit n spin. I will never, ever go back to that man and give him another chance. Open up and say Ahhhhhhhh.... now swallow.

Promises are meant to be broken when it comes to this man. You want a light at the end of the tunnel... here you go... you're getting gaslighted.

Hi Boxin, I've been following your story and want to include my support. He does sound infuriating and pathetic. I understand you can't block him but can you refuse to respond? Everything he says sounds completely disconnected from reality.

As for this being the worst divorce ever - and not to minimize the ordeal at all - but you have some competition with my brother's divorce. It started when his son was 8. The son is now 21. His ex says and does things completely unconnected with reality. I don't think it's substance abuse. It's just her.

She lies in court, she lies to the IRS, she lies in her profession as a social worker/therapist (she represents herself as "Dr" to her clients without any credentials), she ignores court orders. She's always in debt. She's gone through at least ten lawyers because she does not pay them. She's still trying to get money from my brother based on "facts" that exist only in her mind. He's lost a fortune. But, worth it to be rid of her and her lunacy and crimes.

It'll be worth it for you, too. I hope it's over in the 90 days.

Fighting fire with fire
 

Haha! That's awesome and smart. :)