After 7 Long Years...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
After 7 Long Years...
I served my AH with divorce papers yesterday and had him sign the deliverance thus starting Pennsylvania's 90 day waiting period required for a non contested divorce. We shall meet again on 11/13/18 at a notary where he will be required to sign in front of the notary and then I will sign and send them in.
I walked away from everything. I'm just looking to start new with me, myself and I.
I walked away from everything. I'm just looking to start new with me, myself and I.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
He calls and texts me all day everyday. He tells me how I will fall back in love with him and we will be together. He has told me if I block him one more time, he will drag this divorce out for as long as he can just to make me miserable. And he will. SO I've been playing his sick and twisted game until I can get him to sign the last paper on 11/13/18. Once he signs that paper, I will be changing my number and it will be over.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
He is adamant that I'll be back fluffing his pillow. When I called him yesterday to ask where he was, He said rehab for class why? I told him, My divorce paperwork is in and I need the first paper signed. You could hear the air leave his tires... PHSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH... Please don't do this! Can't you just throw them away? What? You mean my new life? Throw my new life away? Nah.... I can't do that. I'll be over between 4:45 and 5:00pm.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
I love me, myself, I!!!
Freedom! And quality time with someone you love: YOU!
Here's one of my favorite anthems:
Joan Armatrading, "Me, Myself, I"
https://youtu.be/mBRNfWGxBp8
Good for you BoxinRotz, wheels are in motion.
Peace,
B
Freedom! And quality time with someone you love: YOU!
Here's one of my favorite anthems:
Joan Armatrading, "Me, Myself, I"
https://youtu.be/mBRNfWGxBp8
Good for you BoxinRotz, wheels are in motion.
Peace,
B
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,980
Congrats and condolences Boxin. It is so sad that this is the absolutely right thing today.
Love honey pig's wall. You get your lovely self over that wall and may peace and joy bloom in your soul.
Love honey pig's wall. You get your lovely self over that wall and may peace and joy bloom in your soul.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I can tell you all that SR has pulled me through some outrageous times and if it weren't for some of you here, I don't know where I'd be right now. I know I held on to hope for way to long and I also know I was in denial of how bad it really was. I also felt like his own personal Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and the team, my team, lost big time.
I left because I'm tired of him hitting a moment of clarity, admitting he has a problem and then going back to it when I think things are good. I left because he knew he had a problem but he's never get help for himself when the state was giving him 6 weeks of vacation n he could dedicate himself to outpatient. Hex refuse it n say, I did my time in rehab... I have all the tools I need in my tool box yet he'd never open the tool box n use them. I mean damn.... He was sober for 20 years. It was confirmed by many people. I'm tired of thinking he got this and he did well and BAM one day we were living and the next, we were on a first class ticket to alcohell. Our stays were never short lived. We were always there for the extended trip.
I feel like I've aged from my 30s to 50+ in these 7 years. I'm only 40 years old n I'm not getting younger. I'm getting to old for this crap. My only option that I had, to evoke change, was to get up and change it myself! To sit and wait for him to change like he said he would never happened. The only thing that changed in his life was the seasons. That's it.
I'm so tired of the lies. My whol e marriage was based off a lie and I found that very painful. He told me the other day, I never wanted to get married. I told him he should have said something n he said he didn't want to hurt me. I told him there is nothing worse than a human being who can't say NO because its the right thing to do. That me ending this marriage should give him peace then since he didn't want to get married. He said, but I'm in love with you now. I said NO. You're not.
Last year, when I came back, he was told this was his last chance. He accepted it as his last chance. It was duly noted. He promised he'd enact change. In March, I was to get another dog after losing my boxer Momma. The day I was to get her, I went into his truck for the debit card for a quick run to the store and I found an empty pint of vodka in his door with the receipt. I call ed the humane society and I told them I woulkd not be picking the dog up. I walked into the house, went into the bedroom and I lost my sh!t on him. I threw that empty plastic bottle at his head and told him, we are DONE! He started to lie and say he bought the bottle, took a sip n dumped it because he didn't like it. I said to him, ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME?! I walked out and got on his checking acct and saw he made 2 purchases in the last 48 hours. I returned to the bedroom while he was now exiting and as an officer, when I ask a question, I already know the answer, I asked him again, us this your story and are you sticking to it, he said yes. I told him, you are a LIAR!!! You bought 2 bottles. His head dropped.
Over the last few weeks during rage filled conversations on my part, I asked him, Why would you go back, knowing this was your last chance?! He'd say, I don't know. Well folks, let me tell you this... the answer "I don't know" is a generic answer. It's answer people give when they don't want to look at the big picture or they want to skirt the truth and it's not an acceptable answer. The truth to that question I asked him was that he didn't think I would ever leave and he acknowledged it. My role in his life over the last 7 years made him so comfortable that he believed I'd never leave. All the chances he was given had swelled his head with confidence that he had me right where he needed me, in the front row of his circus. Until I woke up one day and stood by my word and when he fell from great heights, I pulled his pillow as he crashed to the ground from his flying trapeze. He knew it'd always be there until that day I walked out. He's been struggling everyday ever since.
Someday he will get up on his own 2 feet. Maybe som eday he won't. If he ever does, it shall be without me. He calls me everyday. He texts me everyday. He tells me I'll never find a man to treat me the way he treated me. (I pray I never find another like him) He's told me I'm making the biggest mistake of my life if I leave him. He says we could have the world. We could have but he didn't want it and neither do I. He says we're meant to be together and he will not stop until we are. He is certainly harassing me. I've blocked him and he threatened to not sign the papers if I do it again. He's being manipulative. I'm playing his game until November and once he signs my paper and it hits the box, I am delivering him one final blow and changing my number.
I sent him a text 3 nights ago. I told him, this hopeless and helpless feeling you feel... take your @$$ to bed tonight and know I've felt that for the last 7 years.
I left because I'm tired of him hitting a moment of clarity, admitting he has a problem and then going back to it when I think things are good. I left because he knew he had a problem but he's never get help for himself when the state was giving him 6 weeks of vacation n he could dedicate himself to outpatient. Hex refuse it n say, I did my time in rehab... I have all the tools I need in my tool box yet he'd never open the tool box n use them. I mean damn.... He was sober for 20 years. It was confirmed by many people. I'm tired of thinking he got this and he did well and BAM one day we were living and the next, we were on a first class ticket to alcohell. Our stays were never short lived. We were always there for the extended trip.
I feel like I've aged from my 30s to 50+ in these 7 years. I'm only 40 years old n I'm not getting younger. I'm getting to old for this crap. My only option that I had, to evoke change, was to get up and change it myself! To sit and wait for him to change like he said he would never happened. The only thing that changed in his life was the seasons. That's it.
I'm so tired of the lies. My whol e marriage was based off a lie and I found that very painful. He told me the other day, I never wanted to get married. I told him he should have said something n he said he didn't want to hurt me. I told him there is nothing worse than a human being who can't say NO because its the right thing to do. That me ending this marriage should give him peace then since he didn't want to get married. He said, but I'm in love with you now. I said NO. You're not.
Last year, when I came back, he was told this was his last chance. He accepted it as his last chance. It was duly noted. He promised he'd enact change. In March, I was to get another dog after losing my boxer Momma. The day I was to get her, I went into his truck for the debit card for a quick run to the store and I found an empty pint of vodka in his door with the receipt. I call ed the humane society and I told them I woulkd not be picking the dog up. I walked into the house, went into the bedroom and I lost my sh!t on him. I threw that empty plastic bottle at his head and told him, we are DONE! He started to lie and say he bought the bottle, took a sip n dumped it because he didn't like it. I said to him, ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME?! I walked out and got on his checking acct and saw he made 2 purchases in the last 48 hours. I returned to the bedroom while he was now exiting and as an officer, when I ask a question, I already know the answer, I asked him again, us this your story and are you sticking to it, he said yes. I told him, you are a LIAR!!! You bought 2 bottles. His head dropped.
Over the last few weeks during rage filled conversations on my part, I asked him, Why would you go back, knowing this was your last chance?! He'd say, I don't know. Well folks, let me tell you this... the answer "I don't know" is a generic answer. It's answer people give when they don't want to look at the big picture or they want to skirt the truth and it's not an acceptable answer. The truth to that question I asked him was that he didn't think I would ever leave and he acknowledged it. My role in his life over the last 7 years made him so comfortable that he believed I'd never leave. All the chances he was given had swelled his head with confidence that he had me right where he needed me, in the front row of his circus. Until I woke up one day and stood by my word and when he fell from great heights, I pulled his pillow as he crashed to the ground from his flying trapeze. He knew it'd always be there until that day I walked out. He's been struggling everyday ever since.
Someday he will get up on his own 2 feet. Maybe som eday he won't. If he ever does, it shall be without me. He calls me everyday. He texts me everyday. He tells me I'll never find a man to treat me the way he treated me. (I pray I never find another like him) He's told me I'm making the biggest mistake of my life if I leave him. He says we could have the world. We could have but he didn't want it and neither do I. He says we're meant to be together and he will not stop until we are. He is certainly harassing me. I've blocked him and he threatened to not sign the papers if I do it again. He's being manipulative. I'm playing his game until November and once he signs my paper and it hits the box, I am delivering him one final blow and changing my number.
I sent him a text 3 nights ago. I told him, this hopeless and helpless feeling you feel... take your @$$ to bed tonight and know I've felt that for the last 7 years.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I did get another dog. His name is Kujo. He's 6 years old and he is the only man in my life. His Daddy was a war veteran who committed suicide on Memorial Day this year. This man's family was going to destroy him. I took him. We struggled the first several weeks together. He was hurt and confused to be with me. I couldnt even look at him because he would get nasty with me and show me teeth. I was ignoring him, feeding n watering him n putting him outside. I wasn't sure if we would make it.
Today, he loves me. I am his Lady and he is my Man. He is highly trained and knows his right paw from his left. He knows all of his commands and will let food sit on his muzzle. We have come a long way together. Did I need him? No but this guy has been sent to me for a reason. He trusts me and I don't have to worry about anyone coming into my home. He has the capacity to be vicious. To me, he is a sweet, gentle giant.
Today, he loves me. I am his Lady and he is my Man. He is highly trained and knows his right paw from his left. He knows all of his commands and will let food sit on his muzzle. We have come a long way together. Did I need him? No but this guy has been sent to me for a reason. He trusts me and I don't have to worry about anyone coming into my home. He has the capacity to be vicious. To me, he is a sweet, gentle giant.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Originally Posted by honeypig 
Box, there is one man in my life these days too, and like yours, he has 4 legs...
Good choice!
Good choice!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
