|
October 14 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING The world will persist in exhibiting before you what you persist in affirming the world is. - Emma Curtis Hopkins DAILY REFLECTION Different Points of View I was talking to my friend this afternoon about a conversation that had upset me. One of our mutual friends had done something that I felt was unacceptable, something that was unacceptable related to me. My friend was acting as an impromptu mediator, trying to logically help me to understand a situation that had become emotionally charged. She spent several minutes reasoning with me, calmly helping me to look at the situation from a different point of view and hoping that it would stop me from reacting, which it did. Later that afternoon, when I met my friend, the mediator, for coffee, I looked at her and said, "You are absolutely right. I totally understand both sides of the situation now and I'm choosing to wind it down, let it go, not react." I realized that my friend who I believed had behaved unacceptably to me was reacting out of hurt and anger, and that if I chose to escalate the situation, I too would only be acting from my shadow self instead of choosing to react with love and faith, from a higher spiritual place. Sometimes it is hard to back down, back away, and look at emotional situations with logic and detachment but it is important to see all sides of a problem, look at my part in it, and then choose whether it must be discussed or if it is something I can let go. Today I know that this particular problem is better released with love and prayer. I know that I should accept it and differing points of view and let it go. Dear God, help me to act with a loving heart. When I am struggling with perspective, help me to see other points of view clearly. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/yfjfrm1kh/6_IVB4zg.jpg |
October 15 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING Boundaries don’t help me when they’re too loose or too rigid. If I set them flexibly, one instance at a time, they can help improve my relationships. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment. - David D. Burns Good thoughts are like bright colors in a painting. Negative thoughts are dark and dreary and drab. Each day we paint pictures of our own lives with our thoughts. If we step back and look at the canvas, we will see whether the picture is alive with bright colors or dreary and lifeless like a dark cloud. Our thoughts have the power to bring joy or sadness our way, depending on what we expect or look for in our surroundings. The choice of how we want our lives to be is ours. Since we paint a new picture each day, we are always free to change things when they don't please us. What better time than the present? Is there something in my life I'd like to change today? Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/bv6fr9j75/d61d...950403cd41.jpg |
October 16 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING Nothing is so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness is it to be expecting evil before it comes? - Lucius Annaeus Seneca DAILY REFLECTION We like someone because; we love someone although. - Henri de Montherlant Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we're not feeling close to other family members, when it's hard even to like them, it seems as though we'll never come together again. But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance. No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love. When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together? Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/68a2tsgoh/bloo...you_150630.jpg |
October 17 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING It's my attitude toward what happens to me that makes it a blessing or a lesson. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Be Where Your Feet Are A friend died suddenly a few days ago. At his memorial service, his sister said these words to us. “Be where your feet are.” She asked us to put our feet on the ground, and to just breathe for a moment or two. Her brother, my friend, was a man like few others. He touched so many lives in so many ways that over 500 people came to his memorial to mourn and to celebrate the wonderful person he had been. His sister told us that one of his gifts was to be present, to be where his feet were, to be focused on the time and place and people there, then. I experienced this presence many times. Among the ways I knew him, he was my doctor. He was usually early for my appointment, and he never made me feel rushed. He was there, totally there, with me and with my concerns of the moment. I don’t know how he did it. But I think part of his “secret” was the gift of being where his feet were. It is difficult for me to be where my feet are. I am often somewhere else, someone else. My mind is racing and jumping, chewing on events past, like an old bone, or maybe fretting fruitlessly over what might happen tomorrow or next week or next year. I spend mental energy on things that I cannot change or that may never come to pass. And that energy is not available for me here and now. No wonder I’m tired. Just for today, each day, I will spend some time being just where my feet are and nowhere else. And maybe tomorrow I can do it a little longer. Steve, I miss you. Now. Here. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/jkvawt8xd/hands_and_feet.jpg |
Beautiful post Honeypig, just what I needed to read today. I too struggle with being where my feet are. Working on being more intentional about this, just for today. Sending hugs, I'm sorry to hear you lost your friend. |
Oh, Gigi, these are not something I write myself--as the first line says, these are taken from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon, here: Today's Hope - Home I'm just re-posting them here for the benefit of my fellow SR members, can't take credit for the wisdom contained in them. Even thought I'm not the one who lost a friend, your kind and compassionate nature is appreciated, nevertheless! |
October 18 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING My favorite prayer has only one word: Help - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION It is a matter first of beginning, and then following through. - Richard L. Evans How many times have we started a project or a new path of living only to abandon it after a short time? We may have thought it wasn't what we wanted or there wasn't enough time. Instead of following through, we usually gave up just when it was getting challenging and difficult. What are our dreams today? Do we wish we could speak a second language, know how to operate a computer, exercise regularly, or attend more meetings? What's stopping us? Each task we'd like to accomplish can only be done by persistence and dedication. We learn a new language one word at a time, learn how to operate a computer one step at a time, exercise regularly one day at a time, and attend more meetings one night at a time. We don't have to give up an endeavor just because the hard work has begun. Instead of looking down the road where we want to be, we need to look at this moment. If we take a step toward our goals, we'll be closer than if we never took that step. I can walk toward my goal, remembering each step I take will bring me closer to achievement and personal reward. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/y20xucrxt/next_step.jpg |
October 19 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING It hasn't been a bad day just because a few things didn't go my way. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Is Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about. - Rumi My ego likes whisper in my ear judgments every second – “this is good, this is bad.” Before recovery, my ego was the only voice I ever heard. Now, I hear the voice of my Higher Power, every time my ego whispers a judgment – “this is bad, and this is good” – I can hear my Higher Power say back “this just is.” Pre-program, I often spent much of my day determining how things should be or must be because that’s what my ego told me was “good.” It was a sure-fire way for me to lose my serenity. Now I realize that there just is. Everything just is as it should be. I act every moment as I should have acted in that moment. Occasionally, those actions cause others or myself physical, emotional, or spiritual harm – in such cases, I make an amends. But, for me, that does not make the action good or bad. It just is. I am human and cannot judge the far-reaching effects of my actions. Perhaps my actions that warranted an amends helped someone to grow spiritually. Or perhaps my well-intentioned behavior got in the way of another person dealing with the consequences of their own actions. I cannot know, and it is not in my hula hoop to know. I simply try make my amends when I should, practice acceptance, trust that everything is and has been as it should be, and leave the rest to my Higher Power. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/n547jbuk1/b150...a53f10ca00.jpg |
October 20 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING Spiritual growth comes from being in Al-Anon, not just around it. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. - Italian proverb Much of our time has been spent saying, "I'm not good enough for that job," "She's too good for me," or "I don't deserve that compliment." Sometimes we have been very status conscious because underneath we felt unworthy. Many of us have taken either superior or inferior roles with everyone we've dealt with. We ended up with no one who could be our peer or our friend. True humility occurs when we stop shaming or inflating ourselves and begin accepting ourselves as no worse and no better than anyone else. Then all people are our peers. At our meetings, our powerlessness puts us all in the same box. In the sight of God we are all equal, and status games, which have seemed so important are ultimately silly. Today, I will remember we are all brothers and sisters in the sight of God. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s13.postimg.org/aa1cshc5z/817...1db0ea3066.jpg |
Nice post honey pig. I put myself down quite a bit and I know it is a twisted type of arrogance: I am God's work and exactly who I am supposed to be in life: mistakes, weaknesses, chronic depression, toxic emotions included. |
October 21 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING Know that you can always choose your own inner peace, regardless of circumstances. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie DAILY REFLECTION When we have internalized Step One, our lives reflect it. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol is not very difficult for most of us. Admitting we are powerless over the alcoholic is another matter. After all, we have used shame quite successfully to get our way on occasion, and intimidation sometimes worked. Our relentlessness sometimes wore the alcoholic down. But we never really changed that person. Fully accepting our powerlessness over all other people may seem scary at first. What will we do with our time? But it makes our own lives so much simpler. Relief from worry and frustration is only the first gift. Having time to pursue our own goals comes next. Discovering happiness at will is another blessing. Once we get used to being powerless over other people, we'll realize how much living we gave up in the past. I will find joy in my powerlessness today. I will have more energy for myself. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/6gq73hxtd/tumb...nvy9o1_500.jpg |
October 22 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING When I don't have expectations of others, anything positive they do is a pleasant surprise. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property. If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours. If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person. People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us. People's hopes and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them, too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages. If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Their choices are their property, not ours. What people choose to say and do is their business. What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business. In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours. Today I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/6cwdn8sc1/6006...01648005_n.png |
October 23 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING God is spelled G-O-D, not D-O-G, so don't get confused and tell him to fetch. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Awaken to The Ordinary Beauty Our lives are filled with demands, responsibilities, expectations, places to go, people to see, things to do. We may get so caught up in the next task that we miss the golden moment happening right now. No matter where we are or what we are doing, if we stop to breathe slowly and notice our surroundings, we will find something to appreciate. We may see a glint of light reflecting off a pane of glass, the look in a friend's eyes, or a small thoughtful thing that our partner does. Spiritual development is nourished by our senses. The sights, sounds, tastes, touch, and scents in our immediate surroundings are the doorway to awe and mystery. When we awaken to the ordinary beauty in our everyday lives, warm and loving parts of ourselves grow and extend out to those we love. Quiet yourself for a moment, slowly breathe in and out, and focus on something you appreciate. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/a4f511ks1/1172...g_ig_cache.jpg |
October 24 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING If I had waited to be happy until I was well, I would still be sick. - Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Judgment No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt Before recovery, when others judged me, I would often get defensive and angry with them and then feel shame about myself. I remember reading this quote before recovery, too. I thought “well, I guess even Eleanor Roosevelt can be wrong.” The truth is, yes, Eleanor Roosevelt can be wrong, but I don’t think that she was wrong in this case. Having been in recovery and working the Steps, I have slowly come to realize that I have let the judgment of others affect me is because I did not have a clear sense of self. I had very low self-esteem and constant fear that I wasn’t good enough, something that I tried endlessly to hide. When others judged me, I felt that they saw past the illusion of perfection that I tried to keep up. Now, having worked especially the 4th, 5th, 6th, & 7th Steps, I am able to realize that my inventory is mine alone to take. Others can try to judge me, but the truth is, they judge an incomplete picture. They can never truly know where I come from to judge what I am doing now. If I get defensive and angry, it is because I have let myself believe that their judgments must be true. But having worked the Steps, I have finally been able to have an honest look at myself and become more self-aware. I am now able to hear the judgments of others and then know what is right for me, regardless. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/dunylfbe9/lave...ildcoexist.jpg |
Oh boy, it feels like today's picture/quote is pointed right dead-on at me! Guilty, many many times of this... |
October 25 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the willingness to deal with them joyfully. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie DAILY REFLECTION Regrets I woke up this morning with regrets on my mind--things I had done that I wished that I hadn't, things I had said that I wished I could take back, and opportunities that I had let pass me by, due to one reason or another. My heart felt heavy as these feelings washed over me and for a moment, I was overwhelmed by all of the mistakes I had made. It isn't easy to let myself swim in regret, but to feel regret is to allow my conscience to become fully aware and in touch with the painful choices and actions of my past. I do not have to see it as a negative. I can see it for what it really is--an opportunity for me to change my actions in the present and in the future. Regret reminds me of what I choose not to repeat, what words I choose not to share, and what opportunities I should not let pass me by. Regret reminds me to make an amends to all I may have harmed in my past and specifically to forgive myself and move on. Dear God, help me to let go of regret and live in the present. Help me to forgive myself my past as I move toward a more positive direction in my future. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/p8tbyywdt/you_...n_life_you.jpg |
October 26 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward. – Charlotte Brontë DAILY REFLECTION I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. - The AA Big Book Nothing much seems to have changed for me lately. I still have the same problems and issues I had months ago. The Serenity Prayer asks me "to accept the things I cannot change." I used to think that meant things were never going to change, and that I'd better accept it! Now I realize not only that everything is capable of being changed, but also that change is a fact of reality and I can't stop it. What the phrase "to accept the things I cannot change" means to me today is that there are many things that only my Higher Power can change. That doesn't mean things won't change, only that I can't force them to. I have the courage to do my part; I have faith that change takes place in my Higher Power's time. I can't be sure I'm going to be offered a particular job, but I can shower, dress appropriately, show up for the interview on time, and represent my capabilities with honesty and dignity. If I'm persistent in these efforts, the right job will come in time. Or perhaps I'd like my weight to change. I can't control the numbers on my scale, but if I exercise and eat moderately, over time a moderate body will show up. Our Higher Power's timetable often differs from our own; accepting that is a source of serenity. Today, I let my Higher Power work in my life. I have the courage to have faith. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://i65.tinypic.com/2q0vqxw.jpg |
October 27 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING We may think there is willpower involved, but more likely … change is due to want power. Wanting the new addiction more than the old one. Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now. – George Sheehan DAILY REFLECTION Recover You get there by realizing you are already there. - Eckhart Tolle Recovery has, for me, primarily been about recovering myself. That is to say, sometimes when I look at a circumstance that seems daunting, I fear that I can never become the person that I need to be in order to handle the situation well. At times like this, I am reminded that I am already the person that I need to be and that my fear springs from my ego which tells me that the person I am might not be enough. As time has passed, I realized my ego is wrong. I am enough. I always have been. I am who I want to be; I am simply becoming more aware of myself through the Steps and slogans, little by little, one day at a time. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/lq8lugxo1/ef57...aeafe46936.jpg |
October 28 This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon. DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING Try praying. Nothing pleases God more than to hear a strange voice. – Heard in a meeting DAILY REFLECTION Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed.... - Joshua 1:9 It has been said when we are at the end of our rope, we can do one of three things: let go, tie a knot and hang on, or splice the rope and begin again. Whenever we feel there's nowhere to go but down and nobody to turn to, that's when we can start all over again. If we can learn to look beyond the end of something, we'll always see an exciting, fresh beginning. At the end of every storm is calm. At the end of every argument is silence. At the end of one relationship there is another. Although life is composed of many endings, there are just as many new beginnings. "Life goes on" is even assured by the passage of time - at the end of each minute there's another. Nights may have many endings, but they will also have just as many beginnings. Just as the sun will set, so the moon will rise and the stars will appear. Just as the day's activities will end, so the evening's activities will begin. And when those activities are over, there will be new experiences the next day. I can be unafraid of endings because I know they are only the first half of beginnings. Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope http://s6.postimg.org/89pxnqkxd/endings_beginnings.jpg |
And along those lines, let me direct you to post #304 on this page, from my friend firebolt: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6189071 |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:03 AM. |