AH Drank Over the 2 Beer Limit Yesterday
 

My husband and I went to the casino last night.

The bad news is that he probably had 6 beers throughout the course of the night, which is well beyond the 2 beer limit we had.

The good news is that he did not become belligerent. Instead, he just sang loudly on the car ride home. The other good news is that there was no more beer in our apartment when we got home since that is something I no longer allow.

Oh well, what this further taught me is that I really do not have any control over his drinking. In a controlled environment such as dinner and movies, I can limit him to two, but eventually we do something in which I don't have that control.

Jb- .you are going to eventually have to accept that u have no control over anything With him. He will just lie about it anyway. It will just drive you crazy.

Give him to your higher power and let him fall. That is the only control you have..

Sorry Jb !

We will see what happens, but I definitely will not encourage him to drink.

I read a story a while back about a lady who only had ONE regular sized glass of wine per day, and that caused her to join AA. WHY??? She HAD to have it.

JustBreathe, your life is worth a lot more than monitoring what your mate puts into his body.

Keep coming back!!!

I'm sorry JB, this has got to be tough.

How are you holding up?

We posted similar topics tonight. I have no real words if wisdom, just virtual hugs to you.

JB, by this point I'm surprised that you are surprised by this turn of events. There is really no good news here. I suggest you read through your old threads and see how your definition of what you will live with has shifted over time.

P.S. There never was a limit on drinking that "we had." There is only you trying to control how much alcohol an alcoholic ingests. That way lies madness.

Have you considered asking him how he truly feels about the control you wish to impose?

Might help identify the problem with belligerence after a 6 pack.

I'm tipping he is none too happy about it and only has the wherewithal to defy you after some liquid courage.

Good food for thoughts
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ght-drink.html

Between the gambling and free booze...a casino doesn't seem to be the wisest place for someone trying to cut back on addictive behaviors and/or substances.

I'm afraid JB that what you see as control in a two beer limit is nothing more than AH choosing to fly right based on a vacation that he really wants to go on.

If this is how you "control" then you better start thinking of the next adventure and get it booked afterward before the gates of hell open and someone decides to make up the months of abiding by a two drink limit. Well actually - I'm pretty sure that will happen on the cruise anyway.

I hope you realize soon you have zero control in all of this.

Well he must have felt like a winner!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pipTwjwrQYQ

JustBreathe....I think you are seeing where this is going. If I remember correctly, your plan was to buy some more time with him....? before the inevitable.
I think that these past weeks is slowly informing you of what is so hard to realize about our alcoholics.
LOL! This is what we call "experience". Experience is a tough teacher, alright, and it teaches us some of our most important lessons....oy, vey!

Right now, the Wolves are still at the edge of the woods...at a somewhat safe distance.
Now is the time that you have to be formulating a plan, in your mind, of what to do when they are finally at the door.

I, also, know how exhausting this is. I have been there.
The thing is, the disease is bigger than we are...and, it is also bigger than they are.
There is no room for compromise with his damn disease. There is no "peaceful co-existence". It is total abstainence and sobriety...or the disease wins.

I wish to God that there was another way.

dandylion

Yeah, the parent-child set up doesn't last long and only added to resentments for DH and me.

I wasn't going to change until *I* was ready. My DH "controlling" (lol) my drink was a joke.

Well said. That's the truth. It's just what I needed to read. Thanks. :)

Totally agree 5 million percent. For my part this parent-child relationship that formed was VERY destructive. I haven't consumed alcohol in nearly a year but recovering from the destructive dynamics that ensued are going to take a LONG time to recover from.

That said JustBreathe. I was curious about when you posted. How can other respondents help you most right now with our responses?

The two beer limit is a nonsense to the alcoholic and he will view it as some silly rule being imposed on him and to be taken mock seriously for as long as needs to until normal drinking can resume. In the interim, he will take advantage of any occasion he has to drink more when he thinks he may get away with it......"ah, it was my birthday", "ah, we are in a casino, sure everyone drinks there", "ah, we are having a great night out", "ah sure it was xmas", "ah, my favourite team were playing" and so on.....
Thats what us alcoholics do. You are fooling yourself with these boundaries and the only one caught up in them is you. He is just playing the game until normal service continues. For the alcoholic there is only drinking and total abstinence. You can spend as long as you want proving this statement to yourself.

Good Morning JB,


Oh well, what this further taught me is that I really do not have any control over his drinking. In a controlled environment such as dinner and movies, I can limit him to two, but eventually we do something in which I don't have that control.

I had to cut and paste this little part because as I read it I was thinking mad scientist and lab rat!

Let him do what he is going to do, I promise you will go insane. I never went to the extremes you are and I went bat **** crazy. I can only imagine how you feel

I'm going to say something that MIGHT **** you off- but that is not my intent. My intent is to offer a different perspective. So PLEASE don't think I'm judging or saying anything bad- because I'm not trying to do that.

It seems like you are holding this man hostage. I have seen that in a lot of your posts, it's always about "well he WANTED to do this, but I told him he couldn't, or he KNOWS I don't allow this or that".

I see that YOU are VERY CONTROLLING- EXTREMELY. I'm not saying you should put up with his alcoholism but maybe for the benefit of BOTH of you...you need to loosen the noose.

JB, I am not trying to hurt your feelings, so I hope you take what you want and leave the rest.

Hugs

2 beer limit at a casino? for an alcoholic?

*backs slowly out of thread*