K, If your Drama-thermo-meter is not maxing out, you might need to get it adjusted.

Remember a day or two ago, I was cautioning that All. Crazy. All. The. Time. is to kind of be expected for the first 3 to 6 months?

It really is. And it just is what it is. Does all this sound like a bunch of Crazy to you?

Here is the thing about that Crazy stuff.

When *they* are going Crazy . . . . *We* do not go with them.

and this part . . .

SUPER! SUPER! SUPER!

Proceed with caution! I would still be livid over the abandonment of the last few days. Are you going to find out where he was? Would he tell you the truth anyway? I would not let him in the front door. Please make your boundries crystal clear and hold on to them for dear life. Good Luck!

I fell for AH's words too. Looks like you have set up some awesome boundaries though. Good for you! A word of advice: one of the counselors from one of his rehabs said that we needed a "formal contract" that CLEARLY stated what I would tolerate and what his consequence would be.

For example, he had to sleep in the spare bedroom as soon as he had a slip for x amount of time. If he slipped again, he had to live else where for x amount of time. This way, he cannot dispute your boundaries. Just an idea!

I also had to suffer my own consequences....such as "no sly remarks about the past"...which was hard for me to do! I honestly didn't realize just how hateful I had become.

Keep up the good work!!

There isn't a shred of trust in me for him. I'm not giving it a whirl for that reason. It's all fishy and pathetic. I'm giving this a shot for me and for my boys. I will never look back and say I didn't give it a try and neither will my boys. I think if he left again tomorrow I'd be Ok with that, I don't think I'd be fazed. So I'm trying to go into this with eyes wide open that nothing is real and then pray like heck that both of us change

I think you are doing great!!! Hugs.

And if he came back the day after tomorrow?

Leave, return, repeat...

No repeat, just a long vacation.

I have no experience either so I am responding with great reservation. I totally agree with Raider; something simply isn't right. My gut tells me that you should tell him to stay away but, again, I have no experience. At the very least, have a very strong Plan B in place (physically, emotionally and financially).

If I need a swift kick in the britches in the near future, you all please give it to me...I will bend over and say thank you may I have another!

I so hope that that is not necessary and that we are all so wrong.

Well done Katchie!! Prayers for you and your family.

Fully. FULLY. Understand.

Really good description for it all.

Hammer, could you please explain your comment "fully. Fully. Understand"?

Sorry I'm a little slow. It's been a pattern for years..lol

Your reasoning. It is way better expressed but near same as mine.

I have been going through this crap for the last year.

ONLY reason is the kids and "us" as a maybe.

One low point . . . if you want the too long version . . .

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-me-well.html

Alcoholic mind games...God they are so good at it.
"More will be revealed"

Thanks Ham..I read..how are you? I hope in a better place :-)
what a smart daughter you have..
I'm rooting for all of to soon be in a better place very very soon.

May I add, the A I had been seeing for the past 2 years is now going into his 3rd year of sobriety.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.

Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.

Proceed with caution Katchie.

Bravo...I am starting to see the same thing in my AH...or I have seen it and am realizing my kids do too. What a shame!

Hugs.

i am listening and proceeding with caution to the best of my ability. I appreciate all of the comments more than imaginable.

Ain't nobody got time for that.