Wow, thanks for all the great replies. I didn't know if this would be well accepted or ...not liked because this thread DOES focus on the alcoholic, or at least how I, and apparently many of you, feel too about the alcoholic., instead of us.

Yes, Cyranoak, you are right as usual, you insightful realist...called me out on it.
I have this fantasy. Yes, yes, I know, these fantasies about the alcoholic are just setting myself up.
The fantasy is that the alcoholic in my life would one day somehow wander over to these boards, and actually read things here.
He doesn't know about this forum or handle, and that's ok. I can have my fantasy anyway.

Thank you. This made me cry. It is exactly how how I feel about my wife. I just posted my story on here, and I felt like I only posted the bad stuff. But there was so much good too.

How very poignant and yet so very true x

Truer words were never spoken.

Well if they are going to make it a sticky, everybody contribute! This is not my thread, it is OUR thread.

I think this should go in one of the alcoholic forums as well. We need to hear this.

Can I be contrarian about this?

But eventually, underneath it all is a wish for myself to get away from the source of pain. What keeps me here is hope and loyalty, but with your drinking came the loss of "the life, loves, jobs, and people that love you," and I have lost these things too.

I am not at all nostalgic about this struggle. This is a hellish ride.

I absolutely love this!!!

wow... you just put my thoughts into words.
Thats the most amazing thing i have ever read!
It brings tears to my eyes.

That does happen in many cases...and I am keeping no contact myself. What we want...vs what we get. We hold out with hope as long as we can. Eventually some of us have to make the decision to distance ourselves. I still have hope, but I can't stop living, so onward I go, albeit sometimes reluctantly, kicking and screaming.
It also is too painful to watch sometimes, even when they are passed out, as I mentioned in the original post, seemingly not affecting us at all in that state.

As if that was the only way he could find peace...temporarily obliterating his own mind.

Yes, the cost to us too is great. I'm still white-knuckling my addiction to him, call it love or not...even with no contact.

This is prolific! Thank you so much for writing this. I try to read this once a day. It just keeps me grounded and puts me in others shoes. It really hits the emotional chords that it needs to in order to drive home the point of how much my drinking would absolutely destroy the ones I love and that love me. It also puts me in the "gratitude" frame of mind to try to help those that I hurt for so long.

I just want to say THANK YOU for writing this. Really, it is truly amazing and is just the perfect message.