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I will post, and make it a "fifth" from Alabama here on this thread! Kinda like the lady reviewing the HS graduation diploma printing information calling me into her office. "You spelled your middle name wrong." "Ummm, nope. After 18 years with it, I think I know how to spell my name. That's right." "No, you spelled it wrong." She argued with me for about 15 minutes about how I spelled my name. Really. I finally just told her "It's Spanish", and that she accepted. (Invisigoth, your signature together with your avatar cracks me up!) |
My AS does the same....drink to the point of passing out...wake up....drink more....drive to work....yeesh. |
I don't mean to sound naive because apparently everything I thought I knew is not true but...my husband only drank on the weekends and this was his pattern. Started after dinner-7 or 8. Stayed up late-midnight or so and then slept for a few hours only to get up and drink some more. There would usually be about 6-8 cans in the bathroom in the morning. He did not drink in the morning but I did worry that he might be "still drunk" if he had someplace to go on the weekend. This was his pattern. I don't think it was because of withdrawal or because he was progressing. He was very "controlled" in how he handled his drinking which is why he never saw a problem with it. Never had a DUI, Never lost a job. Never spent too much money. Never became abusive or got in fights. Never missed a soccer game or a Scouting event. Just started caring about his drinking beer more than being with his family and eventually realized all the things he did not achieve in his life-and blamed me! I think if the behavior is new it may be a sign of progression but I don't think everyone else's experience's are necessarily his. You know him best. If you are concerned, you probably have a right to be. BTW what do YOU want? Sometimes that is the hardest question to answer. It is easy to take someone else's advice when you are making a tough decision. Don't stay in the marriage because someone asks you to. Stay because you believe its worth fighting for and that there is hope for recovery. Otherwise detach yourself from the situation and take care of Yourself for a while. Its amazing how much energy we put into others that could have been invested in ourselves. It feels strange when you first start to do it. Almost selfish but it is very freeing. |
Originally Posted by wicked
(Post 2853107)
It's a sign! the sign of the armageddon! oh wait, maybe that was the snowstorm that blew threw here . :rotfxko |
Chelle, my mother has been married to my AF for over 50 years. He has been drinking basically non-stop for over 20 years. He does nothing but drink and smoke in shifts separated by passing out for a couple hours. My mother tells me that the sound of the beer can opening at 3, 4 in the morning wakes her up. This sound sends her heart racing and her blood pressure (and anger) soars. It is no way to live. You have to follow your OWN values, not anyone else's, no matter how well-meaning their telling you what to do is. |
Originally Posted by Chelle3
(Post 2853051)
When my mom and sister called begging me to try some more, so I agreed to try a little longer, you can always get divorced, but you can't always save your marriage is what they said. Honestly they don't know what this is like. However, in this situation your mom and sister don't have to live with the consequences of their misguided advice. You do and so do your children. You are doing the right thing by making a plan to take care of yourself and your children. Stick to your plan. |
Originally Posted by serinityprayer
(Post 2853616)
Since my AH has been in relapse, this is when he does a lot of his drinking. I think it because it is easier to hide his drinking, and he can drink more openly when everyone else is asleep at 3 am. He is currently unemployed due to a job loss due to his addiction so he doesn't have to worry about loss of sleep or getting up early. When he drinks in the daytime he will go outside pretending he has something to do, and if he is nearly caught when someone goes outside he will bolt away like his butt is on fire. He thinks he is so clever and noone knows what he is doing. :lmao |
Hi Chelle, I'm sorry you're going through this. My ex alcoholic defacto's (xadf ) drinking goes like this...say it's morning time. He'll crack open a beer and a double strength bourbon and keep drinking all day until he passes out in the evening. He could pass out anywhere between one hour to a few hours. He gets up, goes straight to the fridge and starts all over again. This goes on all day all and all night. He's at the chronic stage of alcoholism and is now fully dependent upon alcohol. |
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