Is this common-drinking in middle of the night
 

AH is getting up in the middle of the night after sleeping a few hrs, probably somewhere between 2 and 4am and drinking 4 or 5 beers. He does this if he's drank before he goes to bed and if he hasn't drank anything. He then gets up at 8 and goes to work.

He might be doing this because it's the only way he can go back to sleep.
Is this a different form of "eye openers?"
Anyone else heard of this?

Hi Chelle3.
I don't know if it's common or not, but my AH does the same thing, except when he's not working he does this through out the day. Drink till drunk, nap, get up, drink some more, nap, get up drink some more.....

Yes. This is real serious, he is getting to the point where he cannot function without alcohol. Next he'll be drinking AT work - if he's not already. This will mean hard liquor as it is a lot easier to hide than a 6 pack.

In my case, I knew I couldn't drink the way I wanted to and hold down a job, so I started my own business. A little success there, and the ability to set my own hours, and I really went off the deep end with booze.

Where are you in Alabama? I am in Mobile.

OMG 3 Alabama folks on one thread! Is that allowed?

My xah did the same thing. He didn't drink hard liquor but then he didn't really work much and when he did it was the evening shift and he'd drink before work and then after work. It wasn't long after this that his anxiety began to get worse.

<not from Alabama> <need more posts to restore balance>

Yes it is common. During my drinking days, while I still had a home, I kept a bottle of Jack Daniels next to the bed with a straw in it. Yeah I know SICK! Then my last year and a half when I lived on the streets of Hollywood and slept in my car (typical 'alkie' car, all four corners dented and a coat hanger for a radio antenna) I had 'graduated' to Thunderbird and kept a fifth next to me that I could swig on if I woke up.

It is a 'progressive' illness.

Thankfully that was MANY years ago now.

What are you doing for you? Have you tried AlAnon? Also I found "Co-Dependent No More" by Melodie Beattie extremely helpful once I was sober and clean and then started working on my 'codie issues.'

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so very much.

Love and hugs,

Yes, it's common...
 

...and it is also common for codependant enablers like me to make excuses for it by saying, "he might be doing this because it's the only way he can go back to sleep."

I say this in as caring a way as possible, but he's doing it because he's an alcoholic. Alcoholics drink because they are alcohlics. Gently I ask you this, if it were not your husband, would you honestly say to anybody that it is normal behavior to get up in the middle of the night and get drunk?

I believe you already knew the answer to this question. The real problem is what is it about you that thinks what he is doing could possibly be normal, and even makes excuses for it?

He is what he is. You didn't cause, can't control, and can't cure his alcoholism. You can, however, help yourself. Start by going to Al-Anon, give it a chance by going to at least six meetings, some different, and go from there.

You take care now,

Cyranoak

My RXABF used to wake up every night and take a couple of shots ; if there was no booze (because he finished it all), he'd take Gravol or Neo Citran or Nyquil....

yes AH did it, probably still does: drink until passes out for a few hours, wakes up (still drunk but thirsty - alcohol dehydrates - and less drunk-which was not a favorite state) so would continue to drink until he passed out again, this could occur 2-3 times a day and through the night.

Hi, dgillz, I'm near B'ham.

I had no idea this was part of getting worse, I thought it was a solution to insomnia. I know I'm watching a bad situation. I'm in counseling. I told him 3 weeks ago I felt he had to get treatment or we could no longer remain married (we've been married 18 yrs and have 2 kids). He immediately chose drinking. We were about to file for divorce when my mom and sister called begging me to try some more, so I agreed to try a little longer, you can always get divorced, but you can't always save your marriage is what they said. Honestly they don't know what this is like.

I'm going to an AA meeting tonight or tomorrow. I'm still taking steps toward protecting myself in case the marriage dissolves-getting a job and going back to school to get my masters.

Thanks all,
Chelle

Using their logic you can say "well we can always get remarried if he gets into recovery for a long period of time". You have to do what is best for you and your children. No one else knows what you endure and no one else can make these decisions.

No. It's not common.

It's probably a sure sign of alcoholism, though I never did that and I'm an alcoholic.

What purpose would drinking 4 or 5 beers in the middle of the night be other than satisfy a craving that he has absolutly no control over?

You already know though, deep down, you know.

It's a sign! the sign of the armageddon!
oh wait, maybe that was the snowstorm that blew threw here .
:rotfxko

Chelle,

Please do not listen to anyone who has advice about YOUR life.
I listened and paid heed to everyone but myself.
It will be difficult to believe this, but he did not choose alcohol over you, alcohol is making his choices for him
Choosing treatment himself usually works better than forcing the issue.

I hope you find some serenity for you and your children.

Beth

I saw on intervention a guy who drank in the middle of the night and it was to prevent withdrawl..otherwise he would have siezures

:thanks

way to offer support mom and sis! and when I talk about a societal pressure to stay in marriages no matter what, this is the sort of thing I am talking about. When I heard this sort of thing (not thankfully from family) it was a little hurtful, that they assumed that I hadn't thought long and hard about this, weighed up the pros and cons, begged for change, hoped, wished, given second-millionth chances, and that they thought this was just a whim i'd thought up on the spot.

You can always get remarried (thanks jrlcpl) but you can't always save your sanity,

just a little idea i had during breakfast.
get a divorce.
sure, no need to wrestle with the decision, beg for him to change, accomodate every desire.

pffffft.

:lmao

Hi Chelle! Sorry you are going through this...the realization of whats happening is the worst
Your mum and sister do not walk in your shoes! Dont even let them or anyone elses wishes factor into your decisions for YOU and YOUR children and YOUR life!!

And I think it is common for an alcoholic to drink in the midddle of the night. I think it depends on thier patterns. for instance my AH was more a day drinker and was normally asleep by 7 (oh yes i had a very fulfilling life!) so after 7 hours sleep of course he was awake and of course he wanted to drink:
'I cant sleep, it helps me sleep' QUACK!
'Theres nothing else to drink in here and I am thirsty' QUACKETY QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!

if this is only just started happening, he's progressing. I really hope he will get treatment soon. Hugs to you

Towards the 'end', I did it. I was so incredibly physically and mentally addicted to alcohol, I had to, or I'd go into withdrawal. Makes me physically ill even thinking of those days, luckily it was only a few times.. right before I practically died from alcohol poisoning.

You have lots of good info here. I respect that you honestly thought it was something to treat insomnia. If you couldn't sleep.. would you slam a 6 pack? Or does that seem downright weird and wrong to you?

I would imagine he's driving drunk to work if he's drinking all that liquor and then going to work. I woke up drunk as a skunk many times.. after not having drank for 8 or 9 hours. If you know that he is, you may want to consider contacting authorities before he causes and accident and/or injures someone and you're found liable because you knew he was driving drunk. (negligence). It sucks.. and it's sad.. but it's a choice he's made.

Alcoholism is progressive and ends in death, if left untreated. Period.

Had to repost this.

Mine ALWAYS used to claim he needed alcohol to sleep.
His career with alcohol began when he left a fifth of Seagram's Seven next to his bed, would take "one sip" before sleeping - he claimed it helped him sleep through the night.
I don't know how true that was, because it was before I knew him, but I can say that most recently one shot of whiskey was enough for him to "sleep" for one hour - a real restless sleep that usually resulted in tying his sheets in a complete knot - and then he'd wake up and drink another shot so he could get a second hour.
That's a lot of whiskey in one night, and he was not fun to be around AT ALL in the morning.

Eventually, yes, he did start bringing whiskey to work. He'd slip those tiny 2-shot bottles in his pockets, and finish off 2 or 8 of them, depending upon how many excuses he found to drink that day.

My RAH did this same thing - he told me he was a "night owl" but really he was drinking until he went to sleep, but alcohol can cause insomnia (because when you PASS OUT, you are not SLEEPING) and he would be up within a few hours, drinking some more. Very odd, and very destructive and a sign of true alcoholism.

Thanks all, I knew this wasn't a good sign. I wish I didn't even keep track so I wouldn't know how much alcohol was being consumed, but when your spouse is telling you they're not an alcoholic and the marital problems are because of you, then you start looking for proof that alcholism is reality.

This latest progression really has me worried, I can't stop thinking about it.

You're not crazy, you're not hallucinating. What you assume is going on, likely is. I was never ever ever asked by my husband if I had been using/drinking when I actually wasn't.

my ex used to get up regular in the nite to drink beer 2am 3 am 4 am didnt matter when it was would pass out with the drink then wake up early hours and need more cos of the withdrawl but he would say he was just thirsty daft isnt it what we put up with xxxkia

Hi, Chelle. (Feels kinda weird to type that :) - it's what my family calls me. And I've rarely seen any one else use it.) Welcome to SR. I'd echo what Tuffgirl said. XAH did it all the time the last few years DS and I lived with him, but I wouldn't call it sleeping, I'd definitely call it passing out. I hated it. He'd come to and drink more and then stagger back to the bedroom.

Also just want to say: Unless your mom and sister are living with alcoholics as well, they have absolutely no idea what you're going through. Their advice may be well-intentioned, but only you know what living with alcoholism is doing to you and your kids. IMO, the same rules about making a marriage work do not apply when active addiction or alcoholism is a factor.

Hugs.

:candle6D::candle6D:Yes, drinking in the middle of the night is common for a full-blown alcoholic who has become physically addicted to alcohol.

AW would wake up shaking for a drink in the morning . . . but if it was 1,2,3 in the morning -- bring on the vodka! Any time is a good time for a swig.

Physical withdrawal for a person like this is unthinkable and frightening, because of the risk of seizure and just basically getting incredibly ill, without a drink.

This kind of heavy use is a sign that it is going on 24/7 -- there will always be a level of alcohol present. The only times my AW was tested, her BAC was 0.35 both times, and one time blew a 0.40+ "hot" -- and she was walking and talking!

Once she reached this state of constant inebriation, whether visible to outsiders or not, the AW was heading for OWI's, getting fired for drinking on the job, drinking at inappropriate times (church, funerals, family gatherings), and all kinds of mayhem.

My wife has NEVER been able to quit on her own from this level of drunkenness; it always required an accident or trip to the emergency room, or straight to detox, for her to quit. Awful.