Just had the stupidest conversation of my life
 

I'm taking a bath and my husband comes into the bathroom asking me what I would do with his life insurance policy if he died tonight. WTF?? out of the blue. I tried to ignore him as best as I could. He just wouldn't stop. He continued to say what a great father he is. A few years ago, I had to leave for work at 5 am. He was just getting home when I had to leave. I was taking our son to my mothers house. He wanted me to leave the baby here with him. I refused. As I was leaving he jumped into the car with me. He was in his underwear. On the drive there he told me he would steer my car over a hill. I saw a policeman at a convenience store and stopped. They took him to jail..that just happened to be fathers day. I feel I did the absolute right thing. Tonight I heard how terrible for having sent him to jail for that. Whats terrible is that I took him back. It was just an endless rant of things I have done to him. Completely stupid. Now he is in here bitching about the electric bill. oh my. He just wont stop. This man hates me. He is sitting here yelling at me. wow. Who is this person?

On the drive to my parents house that wasnt the only thing he said. It was ugly and I couldnt take a minute more of it. If I would ever act that way I would expect to go to jail. How does he not see it?? I am only with him because of the promises he made and couldn't keep...wouldn't keep.. He said earlier. How could we have both been so stupid to ever be together. I was with him because I loved him and believed the lies. Why would he say something so hurtul tonight? I loved him. Why would he have been with me for so long if he didn't love me? This hurts...

Hi Sami and welcome to SR.

I don't really know what to say right this second,
just wanted to post and let you know that someone is reading.

I'm sure most all of us have been where you are sitting right now.

I hope you'll keep posting, nothing I can say wiill make anything better right htis minute.

welcome. hopefully he'll get tired soon.

Been there, done that, numerous times. Most recent time, he actually kept removing my headphones from my ears, I was trying to ignore him by watching a show on Hulu.

Look around a little bit, read the stickies, lots of great, helpful information in those.

so i guess this is nothing new for all of u here. New to me though. Not really though. I have been dealing with him for many years. I just didn't realize it was me that had a problem. the coldeness kills me....wowl

No, he's playing the blame game, he won't admit he has a problem, so he has to shuffle the problem onto someone else.

here, start with Classic Reading, lots of great threads there.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html

SamiJ, I'm so sorry for what you're having to deal with. You absolutely did the right thing. That was an amazingly brave and smart. I hope you know that it is his actions that put him in jail.

In every discussion that devolved into an argument, XAH shifted the focus from the subject to blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in his life. It took so long for me to realize that it wasn't my fault. Even if I was every nasty word he called me, it was not my fault that he lost his job, that he drank until he passed out every night, that he got pulled over and given a ticket for driving a commercial vehicle without the appropriate license, etc. It's taking even longer to realize that I am not every nasty word he's called me.

Please take gentle care of yourself, SamiJ. Welcome to SR. You're not alone and you're not to blame for his actions or their consequences.
Wishing you peace and strength.