Blogs


Notices

Just had the stupidest conversation of my life

Old 12-07-2010, 08:30 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5
Just had the stupidest conversation of my life

I'm taking a bath and my husband comes into the bathroom asking me what I would do with his life insurance policy if he died tonight. WTF?? out of the blue. I tried to ignore him as best as I could. He just wouldn't stop. He continued to say what a great father he is. A few years ago, I had to leave for work at 5 am. He was just getting home when I had to leave. I was taking our son to my mothers house. He wanted me to leave the baby here with him. I refused. As I was leaving he jumped into the car with me. He was in his underwear. On the drive there he told me he would steer my car over a hill. I saw a policeman at a convenience store and stopped. They took him to jail..that just happened to be fathers day. I feel I did the absolute right thing. Tonight I heard how terrible for having sent him to jail for that. Whats terrible is that I took him back. It was just an endless rant of things I have done to him. Completely stupid. Now he is in here bitching about the electric bill. oh my. He just wont stop. This man hates me. He is sitting here yelling at me. wow. Who is this person?
SamiJ is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SamiJ For This Useful Post:
barb dwyer (12-07-2010), yor5150 (12-07-2010)
Old 12-07-2010, 08:42 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5
On the drive to my parents house that wasnt the only thing he said. It was ugly and I couldnt take a minute more of it. If I would ever act that way I would expect to go to jail. How does he not see it?? I am only with him because of the promises he made and couldn't keep...wouldn't keep.. He said earlier. How could we have both been so stupid to ever be together. I was with him because I loved him and believed the lies. Why would he say something so hurtul tonight? I loved him. Why would he have been with me for so long if he didn't love me? This hurts...
SamiJ is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to SamiJ For This Useful Post:
barb dwyer (12-07-2010)
Old 12-07-2010, 08:52 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,944
Blog Entries: 7
Hi Sami and welcome to SR.

I don't really know what to say right this second,
just wanted to post and let you know that someone is reading.

I'm sure most all of us have been where you are sitting right now.

I hope you'll keep posting, nothing I can say wiill make anything better right htis minute.

welcome. hopefully he'll get tired soon.
barb dwyer is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to barb dwyer For This Useful Post:
kia (12-08-2010)
Old 12-07-2010, 09:50 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
pixilation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Been there, done that, numerous times. Most recent time, he actually kept removing my headphones from my ears, I was trying to ignore him by watching a show on Hulu.

Look around a little bit, read the stickies, lots of great, helpful information in those.
pixilation is offline  
Old 12-07-2010, 09:58 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5
so i guess this is nothing new for all of u here. New to me though. Not really though. I have been dealing with him for many years. I just didn't realize it was me that had a problem. the coldeness kills me....wowl
SamiJ is offline  
Old 12-07-2010, 10:01 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
pixilation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
No, he's playing the blame game, he won't admit he has a problem, so he has to shuffle the problem onto someone else.
pixilation is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to pixilation For This Useful Post:
kia (12-08-2010)
Old 12-07-2010, 10:05 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
pixilation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
here, start with Classic Reading, lots of great threads there.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html
pixilation is offline  
Old 12-07-2010, 11:41 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
theuncertainty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Blog Entries: 8
Originally Posted by SamiJ View Post
A few years ago, I had to leave for work at 5 am. He was just getting home when I had to leave. I was taking our son to my mothers house. He wanted me to leave the baby here with him. I refused. As I was leaving he jumped into the car with me. He was in his underwear. On the drive there he told me he would steer my car over a hill. I saw a policeman at a convenience store and stopped. They took him to jail..that just happened to be fathers day. I feel I did the absolute right thing. Tonight I heard how terrible for having sent him to jail for that. Whats terrible is that I took him back. It was just an endless rant of things I have done to him. Completely stupid. Now he is in here bitching about the electric bill. oh my. He just wont stop. This man hates me. He is sitting here yelling at me. wow. Who is this person?
SamiJ, I'm so sorry for what you're having to deal with. You absolutely did the right thing. That was an amazingly brave and smart. I hope you know that it is his actions that put him in jail.

In every discussion that devolved into an argument, XAH shifted the focus from the subject to blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in his life. It took so long for me to realize that it wasn't my fault. Even if I was every nasty word he called me, it was not my fault that he lost his job, that he drank until he passed out every night, that he got pulled over and given a ticket for driving a commercial vehicle without the appropriate license, etc. It's taking even longer to realize that I am not every nasty word he's called me.

Please take gentle care of yourself, SamiJ. Welcome to SR. You're not alone and you're not to blame for his actions or their consequences.
Wishing you peace and strength.
theuncertainty is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to theuncertainty For This Useful Post:
Redheadsusie (12-08-2010)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:05 AM.