Thanks T for the book recommendation...I looked at the preview and it looks every bit as important as our standard Codependent No More!

ChrissT,
thanks for the nice words. I did a lot of thinking today, before acting. Using the serenity prayer, a lot.
I know what you are saying about different rules applying. When we teach a child to swim, we have to let then get some water in their mouths, tho that is not a pleasant thing. it is against what we feel we should do, but necessary to teach them how to deal with water in the mouth.

I really want this. I want serenity, Iwant to let my son get to the bottom. I thank you for your support.
big hug,
chicory

FormerDoorMat,
That was a lot of fear. I am sorry that you went through that. Fearing he would die, if you did not keep an eye on it, that is so sad. we should not have to go through that. I know it is an illness like any other, but unlike any other, too. Where they get better, or are more likely to, if they are unattended.
feel the fear,and do it anyway. I want to be that brave, and soon.

hugs,chicory

tjp613,
thanks for the tip on the book, i cant wait to get to the library!
I like being here so much, it will be hard to stay away enough to read.
hugs,
chicory

tjp613,
thanks too, for sharing about your son. this is very encouraging for me. I am starting to see that I have been stuck, in not being able to put together a plan. plan of letting him find his own way. he is not the kind of guy to listen to anyone.
wonder how many addicts are stubborn people?
hugs, and good wishes for your son,
chicory

Hadassah,
thank you for this. I am learning a whole new way of thinking.
What have I been doing all this time? It makes me sick to think of it.
hugs,
chicory