Is it too late?
 

I get this idea a lot as I try to stay sober. Is it too late? I'm 56 myself. I've had a good run at life in many ways. Was married for 20 years, lots of good married times. Had adventures when I was younger, awesome adventures. Learned a lot along the way. Still enjoy life in my own way. Still want to see how things turn out.

Alcohol will kill me though. It's eager to kill me way sooner than I want to go. The best play is clearly to fight it. But then I start doubting how much I got left in the tank. Changing my life profoundly was almost impossible for me even back when I was in my prime. I don't doubt I can live sober now, but is that enough? Am I shooting for a soft landing here, and what good is that anyway?

Too late for what? I don't understand?

I understand, it's not to late though, I've made better accomplishments in the last 3 years without drink than I did in the previous 25 while drunk. And with less opportunitys, but I sure have a lot of regrets that for me is the toughest part of being sober.

It's never too late to find sobriety. There are many that have quit at your age and even older.

IF the Booze is Killing you... and you Want to Live...
then, i Guess you better quit... (right?):huh?:

Snazzy, I recognized that I had an alcohol problem in my late fifties. I stopped drinking entirely when I was 62. This summer I will be sober 4 years.
I feel so much better now that I don't drink.
It is never too late to reclaim your life. It's hard at first, but to be beyond alcohol's control is a wonderful thing. Peace.

Hi Snazzy,

I think it just ensures that 56 and on can bring you some of the greatest times of your life.

Snazzy
Ill be 56 also in May...... I don't feel that it's too late I have so much more life to live. Get out there and find something or someone to live for ��

dont get me started. the one thing i hate to hear most is "i'm to old for ____" never too old theres people running marathons in there 90's

now when i got sober well prior to it i felt half dead. I felt liek crap i smoked 2 packs a day i was 275lbs and struggled to climb the stairs. i drank like a friggen fish day in and day out. I quit drinking quit smoking went tdown to 140lbs at my lightest adn I run 50 miles or more a week and eat a vegan diet.

I'm fitter now at 39 then i was at 15. Im in such rediculously good shape. I would have never EVER EVER have dreamed i could get so dang healthy after all the HELL i put myself through.

Now i'm younger then you etc.. But again your never too old. You would probably be surprised your best days migth still be ahead of you.

Delilah, I'd love to believe that's true. And I try to be optimistic, that's my thing. But man, I'm really doubting this idea right now, that the best is still ahead for me. My brain is telling me that seems absurdly naive, pollyannaish.

You have a family and children already!

Well, you will die sooner if you contnue to drink. If you are diagnosed with fatal liver cancer, and you are still drinking up to that point, would you hate yourself more? Would you secretly believe you threw away your life even more? Wouldn't it be better to face such a diagnosis with your head held high, knowing you stopped as soon as you could? I know I would not punish myself so much knowing I didn't push myself so quickly into that cancer or heart disease.

I understand your question, is it too late. Is your life over. Is this all there is? Did you waste so much already that it is unredeemable? What is the point in redefining yourself as your time is almost up? It is hard work after all rebuilding ourselves, becomming something new and sober.

You are at middle age, the crisis that is joked about. You are questioning your life and your use of time as you see that time is no longer limitless.

I would tell you to look outside yourself, pray for guidance in your actions, try to help others, and realize you have been given a second chance. You realized you need to change and embraced sobriety before it was too late.

It is never too late to start living. Really living. To me that means sober living. I was not living getting drunk each night. I was not living being ashamed of myself every day. At least I don't beat myself up anymore. At least I will die trying to live, not sppeding toward it with a bottle in my hand.

Good luck to you.

Thanks for those heartfelt sentiments, HTown. Good luck to you too.

Hiya, whippersnapper...I'm 58 and have been sober since three months before that birthday, over a year total.

You get that age is a big old whopper of an excuse, right? You have only so many days on this planet, fewer if you keep drinking. Do you want to get the most out of them, good or bad, or crawl in a bottle, pull the covers over your head and wait to die, never knowing if you could have had a better life?

Absolutely not! It's the quality of life that's important, not the length.

Age is an excuse but with some grounding in reality, Aries. The best of me at 56 seems like a pretty low ceiling. It's better than being dead, yes. Or being sick. Maybe I need to say I'm in pretty good health overall at this point. Obviously I won't be soon if I start up drinking again.

What does this mean, exactly?

That quitting drinking is a bargain, and that you want a big payoff in exchange for the loss of that precious stuff that is killing you?

That if there is no big payoff, then back to the stuff you go?

The fact that you cannot imagine a satisfactory life without alcohol in it should give you some pause as to the nature of your relationship with alcohol, but drinking is still a liberty.

Having been drinking for the last, what, 20 years? 30 years? I will suggest you have no idea what you can achieve, who you can be, if and only if, you decide to quit drinking for good. A sober life has an amazing quality of authenticity to it that you must experience to believe. You have the opportunity now to grow in ways you can't even imagine. Alcohol has nothing left for you, nothing good, only shame, disappointment, depression, anxiety and sickness.

Do you think it is time? Or will it be another bottle? Another blackout? Another bender? Then what?

You can do this. Don't think of it as saying no to alcohol. Think of it as saying yes to the rest of your life. It's there, waiting for you.

Whatever time I have left I choose to be present and sober in

Good post. Drinking for the last 15 years. Probably why I don't yet have the crazy physical consequences from it people talk about here, started late. Yes, less than optimal.

Well you can have all that too, 0/10, would not recommend. But, that is where the road leads, no choice in destination. There is only one alternative to that hell that awaits. Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?

It is never too late, Snazzy!

Granted, I am younger than you at 43, but I hope I never go gentle into that good night. There is too much to do, see and experience on this beautiful earth while I have days left on it. Let's see, if I live to be 100, that's over 20,000 days of newness and possibility.

I take much inspiration from people who are in their "old age" but don't seem to recognise it. To zjw's post, I give you Ed Whitlock, who at 85 years old is still running sub 4:00 marathons.

Ed Whitlock: The 85-year-old marathon record breaker - BBC Sport

He ran his first marathon at 44.

Or how about Ernestine Shepherd who is an 80 year old bodybuilder. She took it up at your age ... 56.

MEET ERNESTINE | Ernestine Shepherd

So I think it's a valid question. Too late for what?

Even if bodybuilding or marathons are not your thing, at least these wonderful individuals prove that there is still a world of possibility beyond the age when most of us think our lives are descending into some sort of inevitable decline and conclusion.

I'm not trying to give you a hard time Snazzy. I'm just hoping to shift your perspective at least a little so that you see that the question "is it too late?" could be framed as "what can I do with all this time I have left"?

I s life worth it? For me it is.

I appreciate y'all talking to me about this, I really do.

Quit drinking and eat right and get plenty of exercise and you will find 56 the new 30. :) I am 57 and feel like I still have many good years. I run, hike in the Rockies, referee soccer and feel as good as ever, though muscle aches are now bone aches. I have probably really experienced more in life since 50 or for sure have not stopped having adventures. None of this would have been possible if I drank. I have had some slips, but just brief ones over the years. Sobriety is pretty easy now. Just seems ridiculous to drink. Nonsense. Again, though without being sober, I could not be doing the things I have been. I honestly think I have only just begun. I look forward to many more sober productive and adventurous years.

This is exactly what I need, I need a new way to look at 56. I've always liked your posts, totfit.

How about just a different way of looking at life in general and not worrying so much about how old you are? People re-invent their lives at any age. Some young people use their age as an excuse to keep drinking because they are young and invincible. Some "old" people use it as an excuse because they don't think it's worth the effort late in life. Some middle age people use middle age as an excuse because they need alcohol to "cope" with middle age worries.

Bottom line, I don't think your age has anything to do with it to be honest...it's your addiction trying to find an excuse to drink.

another 50 something here :lmao I will be 58 (!!!) in a few short weeks and just celebrated 2 years sober.

What if you still have a good run left in you? What if you live another 20, 30 or even 40 years? You could have a lot of great living left yet to do.

If you decide to pick up again, you are pretty much guaranteed to have the "crazy physical consequences" of drinking.

Rooting for you SnazzyDresser :grouphug:

Thank you, Rose. I just may.

Snazzy,

you have no doubt you cn live sober now, you write.....so maybe i'm just imagining that your OP is a roundabout way of going in the direction of "it's too late, so i might as well drink; no point, really, since it's sooooooo late!"

i'm writing this at 61years of age.
never regretted getting sober:)

is it enough, you ask?
very much a different question.
no, for me, it wsn't enough. I saw there was more and better than "just" abstinence.
but if i hadn't gotten and stayed sober first, i would have never really noticed that there's more. and i most certainly wouldn't be on a deeper path. change? yes, slowly.
possibly, you're not doubting if it's too late as much as you're scared of what this sobriety-thing, ongoing, might entail? where it might lead you? what you might find you need to do?