Good post, fini. Yeah, I'm really doubting myself about being able to get something good going now, as good as I'd like. I remember how good it was when I was younger. I have an insanely great memory for stuff, and I think that makes me naturally more nostalgic than I should be.

And I was a pistol when I was younger, I'll tell you what.

I've lived more and done more in the last ten years sober than I did in the previous 20 years drunk.

Nothing to stop you from doing the same SD, no matter how old you are :)

D

I feel like I'm seeing this a lot today!

Why would you not want to get sober and see how those adventures continue? You're honestly not that old. I go out and have adventures with people well into their 70's and even a few in their 80's. Sounds like a better option than sitting inside drinking alone for the next 40 years!

Honestly I think life can be even more enjoyable later on. You've learned to be less concerned with what others think, and have had plenty of time to find the things you REALLY enjoy. Why not take the time to do that now?

Why would I not go out and kill it now? It's like 56 year olds are valued the same as 20-30 year olds! No, not so much. And I've changed too, my body, my brain. I'm not the same. I still have value and skills, but I'm not the same.

Yes, I can enjoy myself in some ways. That's a given. And that beats being dead. But alas, I can still get quite a bit of pleasure out of alcohol. Even though it's bad for me long-term.

I think the 'pleasure' of being drunk pales beside real joy and real pleasure - but a lot of people don't give themselves the chance to experience that real stuff.

There's also the fact that there's no such thing as a free lunch.

The longer we drink the longer it takes for us to bounce back.

The less the 'pleasure' too...you don't want to end up having to drink to function, hating every mouthful.

Thats a terrible and lonely place to be...but it's an inevitable one.

Lets not mince words here - if you're fighting this hard to keep even the idea of drinking in your life, you're addicted right?

Sure I could have done more when I was young and fit,
I didn't.

Pining for a Camelot that never was is playing right into the AVs hands.

D

Much truth there, Dee. The more I drink for pleasure, the less I end up getting over time. And yes, I'm addicted to alcohol. I'm not pining for a Camelot so much as maybe trying to make the best of a bad situation. Best in relative terms.

Never liked JFK either. :)

I live each day now like it was my last - I think for me that's the right setting to have...I do a lot with 24 hours...much more than I did at 20 30 or 40 :)

D

Snazzy- 2 things come to mind. A friend of mine that is 75 has a saying, "My best memories are ahead of me." I always liked that one.

Also, maybe make it a goal to be "younger next year?" Like the book title?

I'm newly sober, so I'm not a veteran giving advice here, but I thought about those things when reading your post.

I don't know who, but my first time around here someone said this and it struck a note with me:

" In the end, it always comes down to
whether you feel the need to defend your position or not. Taking a defensive stance points to the fact that a) you feel under siege and b) you might not be so sure about whether or not you yourself actually feel that what you are doing is right. For example. I've never had to defend a walk in the forest, listening to birds and enjoying the fresh air. I've had to defend having a fourth hamburger in one sitting. I've never had to defend helping my grandmother. I've had to defend not showing up when I promised, because I was drunk or hungover.
So if you feel like defending your position, take a step back and try figuring out what the real problem is."


Maybe not to any extreme, but it seems like you're trying to defend what a good idea it would be to keep drinking. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you came here so we can talk you all out of it :) but if you had to come on here maybe deep down you know it's not too late?

56 better not be too late to become and stay sober, that's how old I was when I finally, after trying for many years, started my sober journey.
I drank on and off from 18 years old and yes, I was worried it was too late to avoid the negative consequences of drinking. Truthfully, there are consequences, but I am still alive and sober, more able to deal with whatever comes my way...Being drunk never solved any problems for me, it didn't make me younger, smarter or anything. It is never too late to deal with addiction, as long as you are alive...take care

I've been thinking about this all day. I'm focusing on 2 ideas:

1 A sense of stewardship about my body and even my soul. Just because I got this in the mail doesn't mean I get to do whatever I want to with it. There is a sense of responsibility I need to nourish within myself, to take care of this thing.

2 An obligation to help other people who are addicted to alcohol by sharing my story with them, and by living out a good, full, sober life as an example. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that nothing good comes from abusing alcohol full-time.

Snazzy
Im divorced and my boyfriend of 8 years doesn't have children either and he has his moments where he feels he has missed out. We have a puppy and he fills that void. Your worth it SnazzyDresser :c011:

Certainly there are boys and girls clubs that need mentors. If you feel you missed out on having kids, lead a church youth group or be a big brother. There are a lot of kids in need.

There is a very big pay off in the AA program, way beyond stopping drinking.

A year or two ago we started a big book study. We had a bunch of people show up with two to three years in the fellowship. They had been following the advice of just don't drink and go to meetings. They were very disappointed that nothing seemed to have changed. There was no pay off, and they were ready to leave AA. It is very common. One can only get so far on self discipline before fatigue sets in.

So we got into the book and found out where the pay off is, and how to get it. Those folks stayed and things did change.

The pay off was so huge and so beyond anything I Imagined. At 57 I was able to set off on my life long dream of sailing the South Pacific. That is just one thing that has happened. The interesting thing is that the drink problem was removed almost as a by product of living the steps. My internal condition became so much better that drinking became redundant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46GwJbrMghQ

dont let the drink keep you in prison man.

I think that a better quality of life would be worth beginning at any age :)