Day 7 after relapse this is still terrible
 

I,m sticking with it!
there is addiction counselling tomorrow morning with a view to a treatment centre , had a swim today I'm eating okay but still got that nerves/anxiety/everything is wrong feeling, stopped drinking last thur but prior to that it was /wine/brandy/whiskey/cans/Guinness from sat night to thur evenings (I,d be passed out till mid day , I drank hard spirits on top of my librium wed I think., its getting better but I guess all addicts want a quick fix , Im trying to think of my last binge and how long it took to get over this and when was my last slip , Im so bored and have apathy some words and company would be good as Im on lockdown

Congrats on day 7 Jfire. It will get better, it takes your body and mind time to heal. I personally found that subsequent detox' got progressively worse too, some call that the "kindling" effect. Bottom line though, you never have to find out how bad it feels ever again if you don't want to!

Here's a great read on some things you might consider as part of your recovery. "Not drinking" in itself isn't a cure for alcholism...you need a plan to get your life back on track and deal with any underlying issues

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

SR can definitely be part of any plan, perhaps you could consider joining the Class of October class over in the Newcomers section? Having daily interaction with those in the same situation ( and with the same goals ) can really help.

Thanks Scott , the kindling effect , never heard of that but underlying issues yep I'm generally self aware , Alcohol is cunning , the week before the relapse I was saying to an "old timer" how good it was to be sober and bang ;(, ill utilize SR more , I think patience and time are whats needed , it took a week to get here so ... Ill check out that link now

Thanks

Welcome back, jfire, and congratulations on day 7.

Scott offered some great advice.

You might also want to read around the site, especially the alcoholism forum and the Stickies at the top of the forum.

Let us know how the counseling goes tomorrow.

Again, welcome back.

1st night 8 hours sleep last night , phew (still had nightsweats though,

Thanks Leigh !will do ;)

Congrats on your week jfire :)

D

Thank you D !

I'm glad you got through the first week.

It sounds like you're doing well.

"I,m sticking with it! "

Jfire you can do this!

Good job on your week of sobriety!:kickbutt It gets better day by day... I am on day 13 of my sobriety... I have read a lot of good information on SR and finally joined today. This site has really helped me throughout my drunkenness and failed attempts at sobriety. You can do it!

Glad u are feeling better Jfire!

Jfire.....I had night sweats for weeks after my last binge......they go away......eventually.......treat yourself like you would a child who is very ill......because you are.

Counselling went okay , more of a treatment center referral , thing is I wracked with guilt and insomnia , last binge I went to four houses and managed to procure alcohol , all these houses I know the people in a small village and small village talking away , I know they want to see me get better but so much remorse in my mind I cant sleep, to top that off ( I live with father and brother btw) I was on house lockdown last 8 days and still am and cracking up with cabin fever or is it alcohol withdrawals still ?, went for a walk but still feel like a freak/paranoid avoiding people , one guy I know stopped his car to ask me was I alright and to give up the drink for a while , he was genuinely concerned , oh god the fallout !, I liked that sick child analogy Debbie it works and hold true

Reputation can be rebuilt Jfire. Stick with it - you're on the right road :)

D

Reassuring Dee thank you so much x

Great for reaching 1 week, don't worry about what u think people might b saying about u, i know what villages r like, everyone knows everyone & their business, but the way i look at it......if i wasnt an addict & knew someone that was i wouldn't think it was funny/embarrassing/my business, if anyone is gossiping then f'em, they're not worth worrying about, we're all here for u, it will get better!!!!

Day 8 , No compulsion to drink , my alcoholic brain would have spotted a window of opportunity around 3 O clock today , easy peasy but nope "sticking with it , feeling slightly more relaxed tonight although loud noises make me jump even from far away , I hope I sleep tonight the insomnia has being brutal , :headbange

Just keep hanging on, Jfire; it will get better with time and taking care of yourself.
Not easy, but very worth it.

Oh I forgot , lonely and depressing some mindfulness meditation helped with the anxiety which was intense earlier

As Dee said, reputations can rebuilt. Peoples' memories will fade with time and with exposure to the new, sober you. You are writing a new chapter in your Book Life; soon everyone will reading along.