SR yes, AA no
 

I am over two years sober, I've had a solid recovery so far. I'm a much better person for it and my life has improved beyond belief. That being said just lately I've been having the odd thought about drinking, hence some of my recent posts, I did the sensible thing tonight and went to an AA meeting. Its the second one I've been to. I couldn't believe what one of the leaders (if that's what you call them) in the meeting said to me. He said 'you are a dry drunk and a non drinker that isn't receiving help in the form of counselling/AA is worse that the same person drinking'. So he might as well have said I would have been better off drinking for the last two years! I though this was a very negative and stupid thing to say. He has no idea who I am, what works for me and what I've been doing for my own recovery. If that's one of the leaders then count me out. I wouldn't have minded but a few of the others around him were all agreeing. I thought this advice was terribly mis-guided and although they may have been trying to help, I found it very unnecessary. I wont be returning and it just makes me feel stronger for the next two years and the two after that........

I just thought I'd add this though - I have always found the advice on SR very positive and it has helped me a great deal in my recovery so far

That was a very unhelpful thing for someone to say. :(

Thanks, I know I sound very negative and that AA helps a lot of people but I also think it's not the be all and end all. Yes I've had some thoughts about drinking recently but I've dealt with them in my own way and I feel stronger than ever now. I just hope it proves to people that AA isn't the only answer.

You are always going to find overzealous people in any large group, I've heard people say that if you quit without AA then you were probably never a "Real Alcoholic'". I just ignore those type of comments.

Easilypleased, 2 years sober is just FANTASTIC, congratulations. I left AA for as much as you say too, and yes, SR is simply the best for support, and the bottom line program is, "just don't drink, no matter what,". I am now 5 years sober and I'm not following any kind of program. And please ignore anyone who says your a dry drunk, rootin for ya. :egypt:
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...2/DSC_7262.jpg

I've heard similar things in AA meetings (also Lifering, also Smart...), it's not that unusual. I think they are the "dry drunks", angry intolerant obsessive people who fixate on their own particular philosophy (or one they read in a book) that worked for them, and who never achieve the serenity, strength and compassion that ought to accompany long-term sobriety. :)

There are no leaders in meetings of AA.

You cannot judge a Worldwide fellowship of Alcoholics on two meetings.

Clearly AA is not for you if you are that judgemental.

It really annoys me when people feel the need to come on these forums to complain about something they know nothing about.

I know that 2 years sober without AA is better than 2 years drinking

I'm sorry that was said to you. Ridiculous. Two years is a wonderful achievement! I'm not a fan of AA myself, but could you possibly try out a different meeting if you feel like you need a bit of face to face encouragement/support?

Either way, I hope you'll stick around here and post often. SR really is an awesome source for support.

I go to different AA meetings around the city. Each group is different than the other I have found. From 5 people meeting at 6:30 am in a classroom to 100 people meeting at night in a church basement. Very different experiences. Take what you want from AA, leave what you don't like. That's what I do. I'm just trying to stay sober.

that was just another person's opinion. alkies are full of 'em

Let's keep the comments productive and judgement/arguments out of the discussion please :-)

Glad you found something that works for you and sounds like you got through issue of wanting to drink. We are all after the same goal.

AA has helped me stay stopped and worked on other issues as well. AA stole my anger like a thief in the night :)

All who are sober here today are winners!!!

I had a similar experience but stuck around for a longer time.

There is a lot of good to AA, so you might want to look at some of the literature (or maybe even revisit at some point). However, AA can be a judgmental, all-or-nothing kind of place...which makes sense since that kind of thinking is typical of addicts.

SR can be the same...but it stings less to read than said to your face.

The great thing is that on SR you can ask questions and most people are cool with that. If I had been able to get the answers I got here earlier it would have saved me years of heartache and frustration.

Congrats on 2 years and I hope for the day where you don't even have to keep counting, just live the sober life!

Congrats on two-plus years sober. And I am sorry that you had a bad experience with one individual in AA at one meeting.

We lived such incomplete, unfulfilled lives during active alcoholism. This is a place filled with people who stay here in part to help others and in part to help ensure they continue living in the solution.

People take different paths to sobriety. What matters is that they get there and they stay there.

That's why this thread makes me sad. While I appreciate the kudos for SR, I don't see the value or purpose in making an infrequent appearance here for negative reasons. Many of our fellow journeyers got sober and are staying sober because of their choice to commit to the program. Why not live and let live?

Again, congrats on your sobriety.

Agreed.

AA works for me, I have attended since I stopped drinking (5 months), and feel I couldn't manage without it now. Maybe I am lucky to stay in the West of Scotland, The meetings here are very supportive and not judgemental.

EP,
no leaders in AA. but yeah, sure, opinions abound. there as here.
here's mine: no need to prove to anyone that AA or anything else is the only answer.

nothing needs proving here.

in fact though - you may not know this - it was Bill W who said "the roads to recovery are many".

glad you found your own way and congratulations on two years.

I'm sorry if some of you have found my comments negative. I thought it helpful to show that I've managed two years of sobriety and that there are limitless ways to sobriety, it's just choosing what works best for that individual.

Congratulations on two years and try a different meeting next time.

There are toxic members in aa just like you'll find in any large support group

IMO, with thecomments about AA, there was more motive to why you posted,other than show you've achieved over two years sober, which is awesome. Seems if you truly wanted to show you've achieved two years sober you wouldn't have mentioned AA, like many of the others here who have gotten sober without AA have done.
Good on ya for two yeas sober!

Hi.
We alcoholics in general are sensitive people who often don’t read or hear all the responses given.

That said just because I’ve been sober a lot of years does not mean my ISM has totally left yet. There are moments, some too long, I act and react to people, places and things in some manner like when I was drinking, like anger or fear for example. This I call my dry drunk moment and hope this too shall pass.

For me this word “sober” is used very freely and at times meaningless. Someone who drank every day for years and stops today calls themselves sober.
My opinion sober means healthy in mind and spirit which includes work and change regarding their present day life. JMO.

BE WELL

I managed 3 years at one point in my life, around the age of 32-35, but it didn't last for me and I drank again......

I got to age 50 and so much had happened and I couldn't stay stopped on my own like I had previously; I needed AA by then.

Everyone has a different path to take for their sobriety. This is why I love Sober Recovery, there are so many people who stay stopped using different methods for their recovery!!!!

Congrats on your 2+ years!! You are a miracle! Most of us die drunk or from an accident due to our drinking.

Stick around with us, we need you here!

The thing to remember is that opinions are like butts. Everyone has 'em and many of 'em stink.

With any sobriety resource use what is useful and discard the rest.

You’re correct but it’s tough separating opinions from facts that are correct.

For instance when I say things it’s from experience and observation. Like when I say that most relapses are a result of self dishonesty, not accepting we are people who cannot drink in safety and not sticking to the path of being sober by thinking alcoholically that we can have “just one.”

BE WELL

Hi. I am bit ahead of you calendar wise. I have been getting weird thoughts like you said. I think the true test is how we deal with them. Do we buy into it or do we address it? You were willing to go to AA even though that is not your method now. Above all I see that as a willingness to do what it takes. I am too. We both are still in dangerous water with 2 years. As long as we hold our position that drinking is not an option I think we both make it. As far as that guy goes, well that's not about you, that's on him.

IOAA2, my experience is that there are truly very few "facts" where alcoholism treatment is concerned. Much less is known than we would all hope.

Most people go more on experience and observation than anything else.

The problem with that is we're all limited to our own experiences... for example, my last relapse happened when I was clinically depressed and didn't care if I was safe or not. I wanted to be dead at the time.

Is that how it is for most people? Nope.

People who try AA are biased by the fact they have probably tried many things before AA which didn't work for them. Most people come into AA desperate and despite many previous attempts.

Those of us who tried something else prior to AA which worked for us never went through those doors in the first place...

Thanks tomsteve and you're right, I was annoyed and I wanted to know what other people's views were on the matter. I just don't like people taking negative vibes from it because I'm generally a positive guy. I'm putting it down to one persons comments and their own interpretation of the big book, not necessarily the correct one.

AA not the only way to stay sober millions more get sober threw church then AA and I need AA I'm a Christian and I really don't like going to church exspecially celebrate recovery I find AA way better. That guy that said that is just a brainwashed dummy theres no leaders in AA so just say the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. And everything in AA is just a suggestion.

I think what turns many people off about AA is the notion that someone else gets to discard the dictionary definition of a simple word and replace it with a new definition, and then judge whether or not someone else is worthy of fitting it. Yes, the attitude comes up in other groups too, but in my experience a lot less often.

I agree, being in active withdrawal but with no alcohol in your body is not the same as having been sober for years or even weeks, but if we're willing to redefine the word "sober" and add overtones and dimensions to it that it doesn't actually have, then it's not much of an extension to refer to someone with a couple years sobriety who didn't get and stay sober a particular way as a "dry drunk", which sadly is not uncommon.

Maybe whatever you have in mind deserves it's own word or phrase. :)