So I passed out at a party last night...
 

I was drinking beer and whiskey at this party, but I passed out drunk on the patio at about 3AM. I woke up several hours later, and my friend took me to his place to sleep.

GRRR. Now it's getting to the point where I'm drinking so much when I go out, I can't stop. I have no self control. If someone's passing whiskey around, I'm going to have some.

Man, I'm so embarrassed/pissed off at myself. I literally just met most of these people and I crashed their party. The host ended up sending everyone but my friend home. This "only social drinking" thing is screwing things up for me so badly.

Why not bite the bullet and accept that alcohol and you are a toxic mix?

D

Trust me, passing out and blackouts don't get better. Instead, they get worse. I spent years waking up wondering where the hell I was and what I was doing - my mind completely erased. Only cure was to stop. It's scary at first, but today I'd never trade my sobriety for another drink ever again.

I wish you the best with your struggle.

How bad will it have to be before you stop drinking? If you're waiting for things to get worse, they will. I just hope you can get sober before it's too late.

Its the beginning Im afraid.

Well I'm trying to have a little fun, and all the parties I get invited to involve excessive drinking. I can't have as much fun at parties with a bunch of strangers unless I have a few beers in me (I have social anxiety, so when I showed up, my hands were shaking). But 2 beers turn into maybe 6 and then I'm waking up somewhere. I only brought 2 beers to the party, but then we went out to the bar, came back, and started drinking again. Then the only thing left was whiskey.

I know it's a bad idea to mix different types of drink, but I was feeling fine until the whiskey. Everyone forgave me because they all do drugs, and have been in similar situations, but why did this have to happen last night?

I've been an alcoholic for 6 years. I was a social drinker for 3 of those with no problems. Now I just feel like, I've lost my fiance, so I want to get out of this place I'm in. I'm living with my ex for the next two months and it's really boring/hostile at home.

Well I dont know you and Im not pushing any sort of beliefs. What I can say is that it begins that way for a lot of us. Drinking to socialize better and be more comfortable...then it often leads to drinking in solitude, because the drinking becomes the main priority.

I drank a lot and couldn't stop, either. I was the life of the party- until I ruined it.
And if I was at the party, you could bet on it.
I've been thinking about all my blackouts, and it's scary. Unconscious lost time. I still don't know what I did at some parties, except making an ass of myself. People wouldn't talk to me afterwards, so I can only imagine.

Whiskey was one of my drinks, too. At 8am a couple of shooters to get the ball rolling.
I was a bad drunk and it had progressed to that point. I drank like that for ten years. Blacking out at home because the party invitations ceased.
I could never drink socially. At the end all I did was drink or recovering from a drunk.
I hope you can stop because alcoholism is a progressive, chronic, relapsing disease. I tried to quit many, many times.
Coming here helps me a lot. Reading your post reminded me what it's like out there. I hope I never go back, but I have to be ever vigilant.
I've got four years sober now. It took awhile, but now I can go out and not drink.
Best to you and remember, you never have to drink again.

It didn't have to happen. You made it happen. It wasn't some random event, you chose to drink.

I don't see how drinking and ultimately passing out is any fun. Maybe it's time to think about the dark path one drink leads to. . .

I had to change my lifestyle.
Change was that important to me.

I wasted decades - don't be like me.

The funny part is I have more fun now than I ever did drinking.

D

I'll spare the pleasantries Dunkel. You are an alcoholic. You'll never be able to drink "just a couple" and going to drinking parties will always end up like this, until they start getting worse.

It doesn't matter what kind of alcohol you drink either...you will get blackout drunk on beer, wine or any hard alcohol. Why? Because you are an alcoholic and you cannot control your drinking. And you never will be able to either. We are all the same way....and we'd be happy to help you stop. But we cannot teach you how to drink in moderation....because it's impossible for us, just as it is for you.

The sooner you accept this the sooner you can move on and start getting better.

Why? Because you drank too much last night.

Either drink more responsible or don`t drink at all.

As far as "needing" a few to get into the swing of things at a party. If you can`t stop after a few than don`t drink or don`t go.

My history with booze is such the problems you`re experiencing aren`t going away. You`ll blow it again. The only question is when.

On the other hand maybe you can drink responsibly.

Not everyone I partied with back in the day is an alcoholic. Many of them did cut way back as the years rolled on.

Good luck.

One of the best things I ever heard was 'it's the first drink that gets me drunk'

you drinking whiskey didn't get you drunk - you made the decision to drink again with the first beer.

The idea that you would have controlled yourself without the whiskey is a pretty common delusion round these parts.

D

good question.
"why did this have to happen last night?"

what's your best answer?

My drinking was a runaway train headed for a cliff. I had to get off before I died or hurt somebody. Are you ready to stop drinking?

I used to think that too, but I couldn't have fun because I had programmed my brain to only have fun if I was drinking - so of course I felt anxious without a few beers in me. :) You may find, like I did, that you have *more* fun and less anxiety with zero beers, after some solid sober time. Right now it's your addicted voice telling you lies. :)

While you see hanging out with people who are doing drugs as 'fun' - even if you need to change your perception of reality and yourself to make it enjoyable, then this will continue to happen. As others have pointed out. This didn't happen TO you. YOU made it happen. With your choices. You know what a game of Russian roulette it is for you to have a few drinks, but continue to play that game.

People on here can respond to your posts and give advice and sympathise - but only you can stop that cycle. And it won't be easy at first. You have to really want it. Want to learn a different way of living and being happy and comfortable in your own skin. Want to learn how to deal with fears, and people you hate, and the confusion of still wanting them to like and respect you, even when you do hate them.

Once you want it enough, then you'll be able to get it. Maybe that'll be now - or maybe it'll be later. Or maybe never. We all walk a different path, and it's your life and your choices. Personally, I hope you'll choose sooner rather than later.

Someone at a meeting I was at last Friday was talking about going through that stage where his drinking depressed and worried him, but it was what he 'knew' so it seemed the safer option in some weird way. Now he can laugh and say, it was like being offered a dinner he'd had lots of times before, and didn't like (He used the example of corned beef hash) and being offered something amazing but different and unknown on a big silver platter under a dome. For years he pushed away 'steak and chips' and kept taking the 'corned beef hash'. I hope, like him, you decide to brave the sobriety platter, and get to enjoy your steak and chips. :)

I used to have low self esteem. Was full of fear of what others thought of me. Afraid of being judged.so I'd drink " just a couple" to "lighten up".
But could never stop at " just a couple" and " lightening up" involved insanity on a regular basis, until I crossed the line into full blown alcoholism and lost the power of choice over alcohol and didn't need nor want an excuse to drink.
I didn't learn about the low self esteem and fears
until I got sober and looked at myself and how to fix it. I had never heard of this social anxiety thing I read so much about on here,so when I got sober and learned I called it what it is- low self esteem and fear.
And found some excellent non alcohol, non drug solutions.

Why did it have to happen last night? Same reason it happened to me countless times- because ya let low self esteem and fear control ya.
But then came the time I had no control. I had no choice.

Soooooo, do you want to stop drinking all together or are ya lookin for a way to " control" it?

One way to describe a social drinker would be to say that these are individuals who:

* Only drink occasionally.
* Do not feel the need to drink alcohol in order to have a good time.
* Never get into trouble because of alcohol.
* Don’t do or say things they regret while drinking.
* Do not spend a lot of time thinking about alcohol.
* Feel no need to control their intake. Such individuals never drink enough to worry about having to cut back.



Soooo, how bout ya start by stop lieing to yourself about this social drinking thing?

Social drinkers don't have social drinking screw things up badly for them.

Dunk, is it possible to get some help? You're depressed and feeding that depression alcohol. I did that too. I can tell you using alcohol gets worse. It doesn't matter how long one is sober, it doesn't reset. alcohol will never work again.

I had to go inpatient to get meaningful help. I had to get a plan to stay sober and learn how to cope. It was important for me to be in a safe place for the 30 days it took to clear my head enough to be able to accept and act on getting my life in a better place.

For people like us, alcohol will never work again. It's does not bring relief. I have many nights I regretted drinking. I never regretted going impatient to get well.

Love from Lenina

There is lots of good advice in this thread for you.

Are you ready to accept that you can't control your drinking and that you need to make lifestyle changes to stay sober?

[QUOTE=tomsteve;5462528]One way to describe a social drinker would be to say that these are individuals who:

* Only drink occasionally.
* Do not feel the need to drink alcohol in order to have a good time.
* Never get into trouble because of alcohol.
* Don’t do or say things they regret while drinking.
* Do not spend a lot of time thinking about alcohol.
* Feel no need to control their intake. Such individuals never drink enough to worry about having to cut back.

dunkelheit, I agree, look at this list and honestly assess yourself. I tried desperately for 12 years to "moderate". However nothing on that list ever applied to me. And now that i've been sober for a year I realized most people did not drink like me. They have a few and that's that. Being sober is difficult, I'm not going to lie, but trying to moderate was torture. And it always ended the same. In an agonizing hangover, not remembering what i did or said, panicking, checking my phone, checking my car (did I drive??), swearing to never do it again. It's just not worth it. Life is much better on this side. BUT i had to nix the whole "someday I will be able to control it" idea. Until I did that I kept relapsing.

I remember how awful that feels. Alcoholism is progressive and if you con tinue drinking your life will continue to spiral down. When I got sober (1991) I realized I was powerless over alcohol: once I picked up a drink I had no control over how much I drank and what happened. How many years did I waste thinking "this time it will be different?" It never was but denial and rationalization rule the brains of alcoholics.

We have a choice: today I won't (or will) drink.

Painfully true. Least nailed it.

Well get used to being embarrassed and pissed at yourself. You have chosen the life of an alcoholic and passing out , vomiting, making a fool of yourself, hanging out with "New" friends (who I might add are just people who will overlook your pathetic behavior , because they are passed out right next to you)---It's a WONDERFUL isn't it?

You will continue on this path the rest of your life if you do not address your alcoholism today.
Now I say live your own life the way you want--I certainly did for 10 years trying to figure out how I kept waking up in different places, DUH!! Alcohol make us dumb---or just too dense to admit it is the alcohol, stupid! Yea, why do these things keep happening to me and I am so embarrassed I made such a bad impression on the other drunks at the party,LOL!

Honey, these are not your friends they are just other drunks who could bot care less about you! Get rid of them and the alcohol and see what a real LIFE is like, and stop fooling yourself.

Good Luck,
TrixMixer

I don't know much, Day 5 here again and it is rough and am white knuckling today. I do know for years I drank socially , "predrank" a bit because of anxiety and thought it was manageable, then went down into a rabbit hole for years of becoming a secret at home large quantities of wine drinker, and to be honest, with clarity of last day or two, I see the social drinking I was doing wasn't manageable either. I would look forward to the drink more than being with friends. I lost, hobbies, joy in life, had injuries while drunk... which is where you are heading. A newcomers Class might help on newcomers forum when you decide to give it a go.

There is fun after alcohol. It took me a few months of sobriety to believe it, but now I feel like I have more fun sober than when I was drinking. Real fun. Fun I can remember.

Dunkelheit,
it's not about excessive drinking. it's about this:

I can't stop. I have no self control.

those are your words; that's your truth.
and from there, there's only one sane way to go.