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I am glad you have hope. Hope is a positive quality. I have observed, though, that you often express great bitterness at not having joy. That is what I interpreted as "pining." Often I have to just tell myself to shut up when I begin to get negative. I circumvent further negativity by refusing to indulge the initial urge--otherwise I feel ten times worse. I don't mean to impose my methods on you--I don't want you to go through life feeling even worse than you have to. :) |
Originally Posted by Cow
(Post 4785510)
No get carry away, Robot. My hopes is like single fire fly in the darkness, not light of a thousand suns! Been there and done that. :( :) |
Silly goose Gilmer. :kiss: Please always speak you candid mind to Cow. I total know you in my corner. I has indeed express outrage, sadness, bitterness, despair, envy, etc. over inability to feel joy, and it maybe would seem kinder if I just let go, but ...how can I say... for me, sometime 'bad-feeling' emotion still better than no emotion at all. If that make sense? :kiss: for Robot too! Yes, in blackest darkness, even tiny light can be seen from very very far away. |
Here's a another helpful goddess, just for us! And maybe just in time.... Durga -*Invincible, Radiant, Powerful, Supreme, Divinely Feminine and Destroyer of Demons Dear Old Self, I’ve set fire to you – destroying the old demons – you’re not needed here anymore. Making way for change and grace. A choice to grow and be strong.* The New Self is like that – destroying all that isn’t needed to create a powerful, loving, supreme woman. A woman who is going to make a difference in the world.* It isn’t enough to connect with my soul’s deepest desires. I have to act. My choices have to align with my desires or I risk it becoming a daydream that never unfolds into precious reality. It isn’t enough that I know my yearnings, I must fully live the life that I know only I can. Love from Lenina. And I need one of those wands..... |
Lenina, see AO for magic wand, I think she selling them out of trunk of her car at swap meet. |
Yes, I completely understand. |
Oh, goodie! I love a good bargain on magic wands. Just as long as it's not covered in stripper glitter. I have it from a very reliable source that most of the one dollar bills in the US are contaminated with stripper glitter. Love from Lenina now I'm afraid to go to the dollar store. Maybe good bargains but a lady my age doesn't need glitter in her wrinkles. T'aint proper. |
Originally Posted by Gilmer
(Post 4785375)
Anybody who has not exhausted all of the avenues of potential self-discovery should, indeed, not abandon ship, Robby. It is very possible that Cow, in her previous discussions, was in error when she said that she had tried everything. It is only in taking her at her word that I suggested she stop banging her head against the wall. I suppose so much of this is subjective. How we choose to suffer or not suffer speaks also to how we come to terms with ourselves. How we balance our lives all the while creates a life worth living. The alternatives are grim. |
Originally Posted by courage2
(Post 4783497)
I used to say I was broken. Or damaged. For a long time I thought so. Now I think I just thought that. Really, I was only human, and didn't know. O, & as to family members, yes -- did you think sobriety would make you stupid LOL? Things we shielded ourselves from tend to become more clear when you're not in the bag all the time. You can take it, though. I'm sure of it. |
My hopes is like single fire fly in the darkness, not light of a thousand suns! crumbs, Cow ...isn't that exactly what hope IS? light of a thousand suns, that's not hope. that's a burning-bush-blinding-blast of uh...out of aliteration here. go with the fly! |
Hi Cow, just wanted to pop in and say I'm glad you seem to be going OK at least and are back. :) xx
Originally Posted by Cow
(Post 4785941)
Lenina, see AO for magic wand, I think she selling them out of trunk of her car at swap meet. The seed is there in your humour. I'm sure it can grow. |
Yes, I think a sense of humor is the shield and the saving grace. mine developed as a protective device. If I could laugh, I didn't have to cry in front of people I didn't want to see my pain. Cow, I think you've done this too, to a degree. And as you've mentioned before, it was your safe place, your ability to write. to express what was going on inside. OK, I have to go. About to lose connection to the Internet, if not reality. Love from Lenina |
Originally Posted by Cow
(Post 4785941)
Lenina, see AO for magic wand, I think she selling them out of trunk of her car at swap meet. |
Thanks for the new signature quote cow. :) |
Hitachisan cure for many ailment Cow. Can help produce much oxytocin in brain matter. Now if you all will excuse me, I got a Buick trunk to pack up. |
Originally Posted by courage2
(Post 4786285)
Oh god I wouldn't buy someone's Hitachi Magic Wand at a swap meet. Do you all not believe in cooties? love from Lenina |
Originally Posted by courage2 Oh god I wouldn't buy someone's Hitachi Magic Wand at a swap meet. |
When you guys is end up in D Jail, I not posting bond, okay? I telling you right now. Not even calls me. As for senses of humor, is not veil or mask for me, in fact is maybe only sincere aspect of persona I fake to interact with world. Cuz, I truly IS actual sarcastic wise ass, and other seem to enjoy this. Whereas having to pretend, hey, I care about you, and we having good time, and I in pleasant mood, and smiling, ugh, so exhausting and all total performance. So humor easier, plus it entertain other and maybe they not notice I really dark detach miserable sot. I appreciate humor as clever use of intellect, but I never laugh or feel amuse or like it gonna be gateway to good feelings. I always has have same cynical irreverent sense of humor. Could be maybe it start as coping thing. Way to talk own self through very tough times. God know, cruel absurdity of life can always be tempered by some wise ass sarcasms and a few offensive quips. |
well perhaps you can take some small solace in at least (i hope) not being afflicted with glitter in your taint wrinkles a la Lenina |
Too much glitter can be itchy. Confirmed by field research. |
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