How many just don't admit the problem?
 

I just got to thinking about us SR members who are brave enough to admit we have had or do indeed still have a problem whether it be with alcohol or any substance at all, then I got to wondering even within my own circle of people how many others have similar problems but just bury there head in the sand or just do not want to admit it too themselves? I don't know how many members SR has but I'm guessing it would be a whole lot more if people woke up to their problems and dealt with them in the admirable way the members here are attempting to do, Well done everyone, proud of each of us.:ring

:c011:

It took me 26 years so I try real hard not to judge others. I see when others have a problem and are still justifying or rationalizing and there is nothing I can do but pray for them.

The admission that one has a problem has to come from themselves and even then that does not mean they will get help. I called myself a functioning alcoholic up to the point I was barely functioning.

Some never get to that point. It is sad but do is help if I can and pray when I can't.

Many people know they have a drinking problem but just choose to drink. I think it would be very hard to be an alcoholic and not know it. The whole aspect of being in denial or whatever is way overblown in my opinion, many are just too attached to alcohol and could not imagine life without it.

I agree with BackToSquareOne. I drank knowing fully well I was an alcoholic (no denial there) and I know many people who are in active addiction and will tell you: yep I am an alcoholic. My best friend is one of those.

I personally feel that not admitting that one has a problem is actually the problem itself.

Carlotta, my cousin was an alcoholic his whole life. He always said, I'm an alcoholic and proud of it. He died last year at 59, his body was a wreck after decades of drinking but drink to the bitter end he did. I don't think the idea of quitting ever entered his mind.

That's part of the overall problem of addiction to begin with. Not realizing you have one.

I drank every night for a lot of years. I didn't consider this a problem and my friends drank with me. It wasn't until I was retired a few years that I thought something was wrong. I didn't bury my head...I acknowledged that I drank a ton but still had a successful career, like everyone I hung around.

I could never lie to myself about my problem. I could never convince myself I was okay and my drinking was normal. I could get drunk and not care anymore, but I still knew I had a problem...I just don't care if I'm drinking.

Hi Stoogy.

I'm proud of us too - I just wish it hadn't taken me 25 yrs. to admit it.

To this day I can't comprehend why my ex would admit he has a problem to me, then follow it up with one million and one reasons why he didn't want to/wasn't ever going to change.

I knew I had a problem, I knew this isn't what normal people do, my behaviour was not normal . . . but I continued!!

I had to get to the point of wanting to change, before I wanted to do anything about it!!

I'm pretty sure a few in my circle of friends are alcoholics. I'm seeing them less these days as whenever we get together they just want to drink heavily. To be honest it's just not a great time hanging out with a group when everyone else is getting drunk and you're not. One of my close friends told me recently that he really misses us going out on the town and tearing it up like we used to. I don't miss it at all. I once heard someone say "sobriety is the best gift I ever gave myself". I couldn't agree more with that.

Stoogy

In my part of the world, Oz, it is a staggering statistic. From what I have researched and also learnt from AA folks, approximately 85-90% of folks who have problems with drinking or are abusing alcohol do not recognize they have an issue. This has been backed by studies performed by govt institutions and NGOs. Anecdotally, now that I know I am an alcoholic, I have observed many folks who I reckon do have a drinking problem but are completely oblivious to it. They usually place the blame on something else such as stress, work, relationships, etc.

I'll just speak for myself. I always knew I had a problem. It just took something stupid to make me "admit" it. Or rather, accept it.

I knew for years I was an alcoholic but it wasn't till I got sick and had to give up that the thought even crossed my mind and even then I went down kicking and screaming, such was the hold it has on me.

Alcohol controlled my perception of reality. I didn't want to admit that my reality was a problem.

To admit the problem and not take action to fix it is insanity .

Who wants to look foolish ?.

I thought I could 'fix it'.

Didn't everybody? :dunno:

Funny how we surround ourselves with others "like us", it made my choices and their consequences seem normal. Ultimately I became such a gifted social drinker I didn't need any company at all. I capitulated when I no longer could hide from the reality of who I was and what I was doing.

I stopped coz I couldn't stand the pain any more. I know loads of boozers who would never, ever consider giving up their poison and just accept the downside as all part of it!

For me I always followed up that thought with "tomorrow".

Mine was even vaguer than that - 'when this bad phase ends'...

D

Or that someone would come along and change everything. Took me a long time to realize that someone was me.

Ahhhh, the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. We see it, it's right there, can't miss it! As long as we ignore it we don't have to do anything about it. That's why people don't want to admit it. No problem no action required.

I am in the throes of watching an addict using this reasoning. I am amazed at the similarity and how addiction = addiction = addiction. Doesn't matter the drug of choice.

I'm working very hard to salvage 15 years of my life but don't know how much longer I can take it. The only saving grace is that my husband put up with a lot and stayed with me during my elephant in the room phase. I can't predict the outcome but I can say that (and I know this is going to sound weird) it's interesting to observe an addict that has a different drug of choice and realize that it really doesn't matter, it's all the same.

1. Looking up the normal amount of times that X drug should be used as a comparison and as a backup in an argument about said addiction.

2. Working on doing the above only that amount of times per week (aka moderation). Laughed at this one when I was told.

3. Creating tension to establish a resentment so that the guilt of using the drug of choice could be justified. I was famous for this one before I got sober. It's interesting to observe it being done.

4. Displaying anger at always being questioned about said addiction.

5. Admitting seriously trying to stop (or moderate) in order to save a relationship but avoiding the words "I have a problem" or "I'm addicted". Can't say that! To say that would make it all too real.

6. Now doing the equivalent of what would be me quitting drinking beer but drinking wine or hard stuff instead because I was told I couldn't drink any more beer. In other words, since the words "I can't stand it when you drink beer" were used that as long as I stay away from beer I'm ok. I know for a fact that he's using this as a reasoning tool. His addiction is not alcohol by the way. This is just the equivalent.

There are more but I've learned one thing for sure. An addict can't fool an addict. We know the game, we've played it well.

The issue is not that you don't realize that you have a problem. It's knowing that you do but being unwilling to admit it. That's the problem.

I'm around them almost every single day.

I would like to think that my sobriety would allow others to see that they too can stop and live better lives, but I'm under no illusions...as we all know - people only change if they WANT to change.

All I can do is know that I would give them all the help and support in the world should they ask for it.

There are four members of my family that I know have alcohol problems but who are in complete denial.

I think I knew I had a problem by the age of 18, but I felt weak not being able to control it. I was so good at so many other things in my life, that I just felt like I should be able to get a handle on "normal drinking" as well. It took me until age 42 to realize that I can get a handle on my drinking - Quit.

I had thought of quitting at other times but that overwhelming fear we addicts get at the thought of never drinking again would overtake me. That is when my rationalizations that I wasn't as bad as so and so, that the other night I did only drink "two" etc. etc. would come in.

Alcoholism . . . . I hate it.

I think the people with the problem ,have a chemical imbalance in their brains .
alochol hits the exact receptors in my brain ,makes me feel good when im tired .

Some researchers suggest ,alcohol turns lose serotonin ,and other "feel good "
hormones in the brain .

I would suggest the alcohol has a different effect on us ,Or to a greater extent than the general population .

The allergy theory ,in the big book ,is very valid -imo

However when the logic part of the brain is numbed by alcohol , we decide if 2 beers make me feel good ,then 12 is 6 times as good -FAIL :)

And yes ,im still doing research as my new obsession . Actually an old long -term obsession
However I have found research ,not to impair my ability to drive a car ,or ineract with other humans .

Also have noticed research ,not to cause hangovers .:)

I knew for years that I did not drink normally and that I had a "problem." I always said, "well, I fully plan on quitting or moderating when I get my job."
It was not until the time came and I tried to do so and failed miserably that I suddenly realized, I don't just have a bit of a problem, I am a ******* alcoholic!!
Never had a hard time admitting it, doing something about it, however, has been another story...