Acknowledging you are an Alcoholic
 

When did you finally realize that you are an alcoholic?

How about the date I joined SoberRecovery?

Nothing about my drinking convinced me I was an alcoholic. It was my quitting (or rather, my struggle to quit) that proved it to me.

I knew I was drinking too much. then I came here and I identified with so much...I knew I should quit...

It took me a while and a few more relapses to say "yup, without a doubt, need to put booze out of my life for good...just like any other alcoholic."

Just about two years ago!

When, despite my best intentions and willpower, I found I couldn't quit.
Things progressed for the worst and there was no doubt.

I was aware that I couldn't seem to stop drinking and that drinking was negatively impacting my life. I started reading memoirs/bios about people who had drug and alcohol problems. I looked up resources to help me stop drinking which led me here, which led me to AA. It was probably after 4 or 5 meetings that the penny dropped and I realised that the reason I couldn't stop drinking was because I was an alcoholic.

I was aware of being addicted to alcohol, when I became a non drinker I realized I was an alcoholic. And I never intend to be one again.

When I could no longer explain or justify my alcoholic behavior and not call myself an alcoholic. I hid behind the "functional alcoholic" cape for a long time until I was almost not functional.

That is when I surrendered and my thick head finally got the answer that is the first drink that gets me drunk.

I realised and carried on... I used to say things to myself like... well i'm not dying yet... i'm not as bad as that homeless person.
I was diagnosed with fatty liver (in my 20s) and still carried on.
Then the kindling began when I tried to become healthier... the binges got worse, the withdrawals got worse...and I think to myself, well now I am dying, I know i've damaged my body and it wasn't freakin worth it! :headbange

I knew twenty years before I stopped but refused to face up to it.

I acknowledged I was/am an alcoholic
23 yrs ago when I admitted I was powerless
over alcohol and my life had become
unmanageable.

Today Im a happy, healthy, honest alcoholic
living a life in recovery a day at a time. :)

My doctor looked at my liver ultrasound and asked me how much was I drinking?

I said 12 beers a week which was 1/8th correct

When I realised the insane risks I was taking and the way all my painfully-won lessons would turn to dust as soon as I picked up a glass :( Never ever ever want to go back to that.

There was never really a defining moment. I have realized dozens of times while going through withdrawals that I am an alcoholic, usually only to 'forget' the fact a month or so later. I have to realize every day that I am an alcoholic because I will try and convince myself otherwise if I don't.

About two months into rehab. I went because I wanted to quit drinking and drugging, but didn't consider I had a problem.

Even the NEED to drink upon waking as well as the rest of the day didn't make me think of myself as one. I don't know if that's arrogance or denial. Probably a bit of both.

Looking back and all my memories revolve around the party and the aftermath of my actions when drunk. My recent black out, busted knee and broken thumb helped me to realize I have a serious problem. 17 days sober!

It was after multiple times of swearing off drinking because something bad would happen because of my drinking then I would stop drinking for a while but after a bit my mind would always say that since I had stopped drinking for "x" amount of time then I could not be an alcoholic so I must just need to moderate my drinking better and I would be off to the races again with my drinking. I swam around in that toilet for too many years until finally one day during a dry period I realized that I did not really know how to do anything without wanting to drink even something as simple as mow the lawn because what I really wanted when I mowed the lawn was a cooler full of iced down beer waiting on me to get done. I realized how much my life had come to revolve around alcohol from the "friends" I had to my job. When I wasn't drinking my mind was thinking ahead and planning when I would be able to drink. I finally realized that this was not normal drinker behavior and that I was an alcoholic. It still took me a little bit to actually find long term sobriety after that realization but it was the key that opened the door to recovery for me.

For me it just "clicked" one day. I was drinking with my SO and talking about drinking too much and reached for another bottle of wine. He offhandedly said "do you really need more?"

I thought about it all night. Why did I need more? I was already tipsy. Had he not said something I would have drank until the bottle was gone or I was hammered.

I got drunk the next night but I was fully aware that I was an alcoholic. It took the fun out of it. I swallowed down a margarita and it was the very last drink I ever had. It took another week for me to admit out loud that I was an alcoholic.

I guess it was a "moment of clarity" that is described by people. I am aware of the problem now and decided to open the door to sobriety while I was thinking about it. I'm glad I did.

When I finally realized, in my soul, that I couldn't just cut back. It was all or nothing.

I relate to the sentiment I heard from a few people, I think I knew I was an alcoholic LONG before I admitted it and long before I started trying to stop.